‘How you sleep, Easy?’ he asked.
‘Like a corpse,’ I groaned. ‘Woke up like one too. But when I looked in the closet I saw some clothes there... I din’t mean t’kick you outta yo’ room.’
‘They’s lotsa beds in Pariah.’ He winked at me and for a second I felt like I was talking to Mouse.
I could see that Miss Alexander was waiting for me at her counter. I felt like a whole flock of wayward sheep; like I needed a herder to set me straight.
‘You don’t look so good, Easy,’ Miss Alexander said.
She was wearing a red dress that was so bright I had to look away.
‘No, I just look bad right when I wake up,’ I said. I was sick but, like a fool, I didn’t want to tell her because I was afraid that she’d keep me from leaving. ‘I be ready t’leave tomorrah mornin’.’
‘Ain’t you gonna go t’church wit’ us tomorrah?’
‘I gotta be gittin’ back.’
‘Even a sinner got a little time fo’the Lord, Easy.’
‘Well, maybe... What time is the service?’
‘Reverend’s a farmer too, so he start early; us’ally ‘bout eight.’ Then she smiled. ‘Theresa wasn’t too happy ‘bout you last night.’
I felt my face flush.
‘I think she likes you,’ Miss Alexander went on. ‘An’ there you was laid out just like a pile’a dead wood.’
She laughed and I did too.
‘Why’ont you go over wit’ the men an’ I get you some food.’
I sat in a chair against the wall and listened to the men talk while they played. Miss Alexander brought me a plate of dirty rice and greens but I didn’t have any stomach for it. I put the plate on the floor and a dog climbed out from under the table and wolfed it down. It looked like one of Reese’s dogs; hungry, near death.
The men talked about everything: gardens and women and white people. It felt good to listen to them laugh and trade lies. It’s good to be a man with no worries, among friends. I remember every story they told but, for the most part, they didn’t have anything to do with me.
One of the men was called Buck. He was older, maybe sixty, and he had a high strained laugh.
‘Hit me!’ he said to William, then he flung down three cards. He was a sly card player. You could tell he was tricky because every time he’d take some cards he’d try to keep the others’ attention distracted by bringing up some shocking news.
‘Reese Corn is dyin’,’ Buck said as he shuffled his cards.
I don’t know how she could tell from across the room but Miss Alexander strolled over as soon as they started to talk about Reese.
‘What?’ That was a young man, tall and skinny, name of Murphy. I never did get his last name.
‘It’s true.’ Buck was studying his new cards. ‘My boy’s girl was down there yestiday an’ she said he looked bad.’ He looked up from his cards and smiled. ‘I raise ya five,’ and he pushed a nickel to the pot.
‘What you talkin’ ‘bout, Buck?’ Miss Alexander said.
‘That’s what Yolanda said.’ He hunched his shoulders.
‘What’s Yolanda doin’ out to there anyway?’
‘She do piecework. Ole Reese ain’t bought a new shirt in thirty years but he cain’t sew fo’shit neither. So Yolanda go out there every two months or so an’ patch him up.’
‘I see ya,’ Murphy said.
‘I’ll take that an’ I go up five.’ William threw two buffalo heads in the game.
‘But the weird thing is his do’,’ Buck said and then waited for one of the men to ask. No one took the bait, because they knew he was just trying to break their concentration.
But Miss Alexander didn’t care about the game.
‘What about his door?’ she asked.
‘It was painted black; jet black with doves of garlic hangin’ from it.’
‘Yeah?’ Miss Alexander opened her eyes wide. ‘Maybe my sister come back t’haunt his evil soul.’
‘I meet ya, William, what you got?’ Buck nodded. ‘I don’t know what’s happenin’ wit’im, ma’am, but sumpin’ got him scared; scared to death, almost.’
Miss Alexander shook her wide mane. ‘Evil calls on itself.’
‘Amen,’ William said. Tair’a red queens.’
I could still see that doll hanging from the tree.
Later on in the game Murphy told William that he had been down to Jenkins the week before.
‘Oh yeah?’ William grinned. ‘You down at the saloon when Big Jim got there?’
‘Mmmm-hm, you better believe it! He come in wit’ that badge stuck in his hat an’ that nightstick in his hand an’ yell, “You fellahs better duck,” an’ he pult out that long-snout pistol he got.’ Murphy laughed. ‘Man, we was kissin’ the boards like it was true love.’
They all laughed. Jim was the colored deputy for the county. He was tough and mean and it seemed that he was pretty well liked in the district.
The gambling and talk went on that way. I leaned against the wall and faded in and out of sleep until a long time later.
Clifton came through the door in the late afternoon. He looked worse than I felt. His clothes were soiled and so wrinkled that it was clear that he had been sleeping outside. His jaw was set so that he looked like he couldn’t ever talk again. When I called to him he jumped and his hands started shaking. Then he turned, headed for the door. He would have run out if two men hadn’t been walking in right then. He turned back to the room, then around to the door, but the men, just two old sharecroppers, were looking at him and he backed away. I got to him before he could run.
‘What’s wrong, Clifton? Someone after you?’
‘Shut up!’
The look he gave me was the look of a hunted man; I’d seen it in my own father’s face, and I respected it even in a fool like Clifton. I told him that I had a room in back and he was happy to go there. I sent him on, then I went over to Miss Alexander. She had watched the whole scene very closely.
‘What’s wrong wit’ yo’ friend, Easy?’ she asked.
‘I don’t know yet but I’m fixin’ t’find out when I get back there.’ Then I hesitated a minute. ‘You been pretty good t’me, ma’am, but I have to tell ya that I ain’t got no money right now, t’pay ya. I mean Mouse ‘posed t’give me a little change but...’
‘Don’t you worry, Easy. Raymond sent a few dollars over wit’ Dom the day ‘fore you got here. I thought you knew.’
‘Uh-uh.’
‘Yeah! You want sumpin’ fo’ your friend?’
‘Maybe some food and a little whiskey.’
‘Sure thing.’
She went out to the kitchen and came back with a tray full of food and a half-full whiskey bottle. There was only one glass.
‘Glass is fo’ yo’ friend, Easy. I don’t think you need any more.’
Clifton was standing in the corner of the room with his fists at his side, clenched just as tight as his mouth. He looked past me to see if anyone else was coming.
‘Take it easy, Cliff.’
When I handed him the tray he hunkered down on that crate, eating like a hungry animal.
He started in with the chicken and didn’t even stop when he licked the plate clean. He took the chicken bones, cracked them open with his teeth, and sucked the marrow out from every one.
I went over to the bed to wait for him to finish; when I laid back I felt all the strength go out of me.
‘What’s your problem, Clifton?’ I asked when he was through.
‘What you mean?’
‘Com’on, man, you know what I mean. What you doin’ here shakin’ like that and so hungry you eatin’ bones?’
Clifton downed a whole glass of whiskey and doubled up trying to keep it down. I was sure he was going to vomit but he just put his hands on his knees and made snorting noises until he could straighten out.
‘Yo’ friend come out to the witch’s house night before last.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Uh-huh, an’ he sa
id that the word come down to a deputy out here called Jim, an’ Jim is on my trail.’
‘He said that?’
‘Then he say that I gots ta run ‘cause Jim is a quarter injun an’ he always find what he looks fo’. He say I’m a sittin’ duck out at the witch house so I better run.’
‘What Jo say?’
‘Witch don’t say nuthin’. She just ask yo’ friend if it’s true an’ he say yeah.’ Clifton took another big drink and went through the same pain.
After he was sitting up again I asked, ‘Where’s Ernestine?’
‘He say that I cain’t run wit’ no girl so I should go alone. But I tole him that I ain’t gonna listen t’that shit an’ Ernestine comin’ ‘long wit’ me!’ Clifton yelled the last words and I could imagine Mouse smiling right then; it gave me goose flesh. ‘But Ernestine tole me t’go. She said she don’t wanna run from the law an’ she said that I gotta take this on myself.’ Clifton wept and took another drink. ‘When I seen she ain’t gonna come I said I be back but she said don’t even bother wit’ that.’
He put his head to his knees and cried.
I was too weak to comfort him but I knew what was right. I knew that I should tell him everything I knew about Mouse; what a rotten man he was and how he messed with other people’s lives. Even if Clifton didn’t believe me I should have told him and then my conscience would’ve been clean. I should have taken that boy in the car and gone back home to Houston, but I was sick and tired. Even when he told me Mouse’s plan I stayed quiet.
‘Yo’ friend tole me t’meet him t’night. He showed me a place in the woods where I could sleep an’ then he said I should meet him t’night an’ he gotta plan fo me t’get away. I axed why he doin’ all that for me an’ he said he doin’ it fo’ Ernestine so the law don’t get on her. So what can I do?’
I wake up nights remembering Clifton sitting there with his hands stretched out. I had the answers but I didn’t give them to him because Mouse was my friend and you don’t cross your friends.
Or maybe I just didn’t care. Maybe that’s what was wrong with us back then. Life was so hard that we were too tired from just living to lend a hand.
Clifton left after a while and I didn’t even think about going with him. He knew that Mouse was up to no good but he needed someone else to say it so that he could change his mind.
He’d have been lucky if it was Big Jim on his trail.
The second-night drunk never feels as good as the first. I finished the whiskey and laid in a funk all night. I didn’t sleep at all. I just had visions of people coming in and out of my room; some of them I knew and some I didn’t.
My daddy came in and sat on the bed. He looked at me with sad eyes and I felt I had done something wrong. I asked why he never came back and he said that he died; that he wanted to come back but death was too much and he finally gave out.
Mouse came in with a young woman. He was talking to me but feeling on her at the same time. I asked him to stop but he said, ‘You know you like t’watch, Ease.’ And then he pulled out his thing, it was so big that the girl got scared but Mouse sweet-talked her and she said okay...
Then the door opened and Domaque came in. He stood next to the bed and said, ‘You up, Easy?’
‘Do I look like I’m up?’
‘Well... you lyin’ down but yo’ eyes is open...’
I just waited for him to disappear like the rest of my dreams but then he said, ‘I wanted t’talk wit’ someone, Easy. An’ you Raymond’s friend too...,’ He went on, ‘I met that girl an’ she real pretty, an’ she be out to Momma’s house.’
‘At Jo’s?’
‘Uh-huh. She called Ernestine an’ I like her an’ she said she come out an’ look at my house if Momma wanted her to.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Uh-huh, Easy. She kinda pretty an’ she wanna stay out to there wit’ momma...’
When I saw the sky lightening into dawn the dreams went away. I knew that I had fever but it didn’t matter because I was sure now that I had to go home. I was going to go to church with Miss Alexander and then I was going to find the road to Rags Pond. And when I got back to Houston I was going to learn how to read and write. That was all I knew; in that I guess I was lucky.
Chapter 10
‘Easy! Easy! Time fo’ church, hon!’
It was Miss Alexander calling from the door. I guess she didn’t want to come into a man’s room uninvited.
‘All right,’ I called back. ‘I be up in minute.’ But I was asleep before my mouth closed.
In my sleep I saw my parents sitting at breakfast. My father was reading a paper even though he couldn’t read. My mother was making griddle cakes, singing...
‘Easy!’ Miss Alexander was shaking my shoulder and calling in my ear. ‘We gotta go, honey! Jo gonna be there.’
I remember sitting on the side of the bed with my head between my knees. I had fever and cramps and a pain in my head but I thought it would pass in a day; it’s an amazing thing that young men get any older at all.
I’d slept in my clothes, which was lucky because I don’t think I had the fingers to do buttons and zippers that morning.
Miss Alexander was wearing a plain white dress with a lace green hat and William wore a brown suit with black lines crisscrossing it. Momma Jo was with them. Domaque and Ernestine were behind her. Dom had on the same overalls he wore when I first met him and Ernestine still had on the blue dress with the red-brown cows printed on it. She’d washed that dress though and she had a necklace of tiny red flowers, the kind of flowers that grew at Domaque’s house.
‘Hi, Easy,’ Jo said in a soft voice. ‘You look a little tired, honey.’
‘Hi, Easy,’ Dom yelled. ‘This here is Ernestine.’
‘Easy,’ she said simply.
I looked down at her feet; they were still bare.
We all walked down to the building with the white crosses on the doors and went in. A woman sat at the front playing an upright piano.
It was a lively tune but I couldn’t put a name to it. Theresa was there in a nice violet-and-white dress; she came over and sat next to me. I recognised almost everybody from the dance at Miss Alexander’s but I didn’t remember any names so I just nodded when people said hello.
The room was almost full, about sixty souls there. A big woman and a shrimpy little man went up to the piano and started singing hymns. There was a hymnal underneath each chair and, one by one, people lifted them and started to sing along. I didn’t because I have a bad voice and I just didn’t feel up to it.
When I heard the door open in the middle of ‘Sweet Baby Jesus,’ I turned around to see who it was.
The chill I felt when I saw daddyReese was the cold that a corpse might feel.
He wasn’t the same Reese that I had seen a few days before. That Reese was a powerful man, that Reese had muscle like black iron and a thick mane of nappy black hair. But the Reese who walked through that door on Sunday was an old man. His arms and chest sagged down like flab but he wasn’t fat; he must’ve dropped ten pounds in those few days, I’d never seen a man lose weight so fast. His hair was sprinkled with white, not gray. He was stooped, just a little, and when he walked he had a slight limp.
Some men believe in evil. They’ve seen so much of it in the world and in themselves that it becomes a part of what they know as truth. And when you believe in it the way daddyReese must have, you open yourself up to people preying on that fear. The strength of hatred turns to weakness.
But with all that Reese was bowed - he wasn’t broken. He was wearing a black suit, the old kind that my grandfather wore with five buttons on the jacket. He had a starched, high-collar white shirt and a hat kind of like a bowler.
When he saw me I thought he was going to come in my direction but just then Jo turned to see what I was looking at and that changed Reese’s mind. He took a chair in the back.
Just about then the minister entered the room. Reverend Peters was a fat man with a wide mouth and a black sui
t; he strode down the middle aisle shaking hands and saying good morning to the people he passed. He was bristling with energy, the kind of man that pious women have sinful dreams about. The kind of man who feels so confident that other men don’t like him too well.
‘Mornin’, brothers and sisters!’ he shouted.
‘Mornin’, reverend,’ said an old woman in a raspberry dress. She was sitting right up front.
‘Yes, it is a good morning. Every one of God’s mornings is a good one.’
‘Mmmmm-hm! That’s a truf,’ the old woman said.
‘And the only thing that’s a bad mornin’ is a mornin’ that you wake up an’ you don’t find Jesus in your heart.’
‘Yes, Lord!’ That was Miss Alexander.
‘Oh, yeah! When you wake up and Jesus ain’t wichya, then it truly is a bad day. Not only for you but for every one of us in the congregation!’
‘Amen,’ a few voices said.
‘Because Jesus loves ya! He loves ya and he wants you to do right. An’ what is right? To have Jesus in your heart. That’s all. Because if you got Jesus with ya you ain’t never gonna do bad. Jesus won’t let ya do bad if you let him in. He won’t let you go astray. No he won’t. The Lord is gonna stick by you just as long as you stick by him. He’s gonna be a extra pair of eyes to see wrong...’
‘Amen, brother, show me them eyes,’ the shrimpy man in the baggy pants said from the piano bench.
‘I don’t need to show you, Brother Decker. I don’t need to show ya because the Lord will show you. He will show you out from temptation and you won’t even feel bad because the love of the Lord is greater than money! It’s greater than love of a woman or a man! It’s greater than freedom!’
I could feel the congregation tense up at those last words.
‘Yes, chirren, the love of the Lord is greater than anything you can have or desire. The love of the Lord is greater than anything.’ He stopped and ran his eyes across the congregation. ‘Anything that you can have or desire. Anything. If you see a new dress, sister, and you think that that dress is gonna make you as beautiful as Sheba, as beautiful as Cleopatra...’ He stopped, looking around again, and then smiled a knowing smile... ‘But we all know that beauty passes, don’t we?’
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