“It didn’t freak me out,” she says.
“Well that’s because you…”
“Because I AM NOT TRAPPED Tim!”
“But you’re different Espree…”
“NO I am NOT Tim. I am NO different than you, with the exception of ONE THING!”
“And that is?”
“I’M NOT TRAPPED!”
I’m feeling irritated at this. She keeps telling me I am trapped. What is she getting at? I don’t care and I don’t EVER want to see that psycho light show again.
She leans forward. Listen to me Tim. For the first time, with this new device, I was able to actually show another person the phenomena of the Spirit Trap. I acquired the access code from a strange monitoring device that I discovered in a restricted area in a Trap Ship factory.
“These trap ships have been the bane of my existence since they were first introduced. I have destroyed a million of these ships in my time, but they are like universal cockroaches, you can’t destroy them all, they just keep coming back.
“So I went about preaching and trying to educate the populations of people. I would appear to civilizations in various forms―as a divinity or as a prophet―and I have always been utterly baffled why no one would believe me when I tried to tell them they were free spirits, incarcerated in a universe by these ships!”
Espree is literally shaking with excitement.
“For literally billions of years I’ve been preaching and lecturing and explaining. And do you know what effect that had on the actual awareness others? NONE! I have been describing exactly what you saw in that trap to others―to anyone that would listen to me―always in vain, always to no effect.
“But TIM, This time was different! I actually SHOWED it to you and when you saw it and you reacted violently to it.
“You may be one of the first beings in this universe to actually see a Spirit Trap Zone! Your body is one of the few that possesses a brain that allows an unrestricted view of a Trap Zone because a developing genetic pattern, such as yours, would never be allowed to be part of an interstellar civilization! You are not bred for that function! The Citizonians, who have been bred to operate the Trap Ships, have Mechanical Minds that have been programmed to alter what they observe so they do not see what you saw!”
“What the heck is a Citizonian?”
“You will meet them very soon Tim. They are the operators of the Trap Ships, and incidentally, the ONLY people in this universe allowed to operate Trap Ships.
Espree’s enthusiasm is growing.
“And that is why Tim. That is why!”
“Huh?”
She smiles. “Don’t worry Tim, you will find out soon enough.”
She turns to the viewer and before I can stop her, turns it on. I close my eyes. I don’t want to see that light show again.
“It’s OK Tim, I changed to another view.”
I open my eyes slowly. Thankfully the view has changed to the Bridge and the big green transparent globe.
She looks up at me. “The owners of this ship―Citizonians―are probably still asleep, but I have a feeling that soon they will arrive on the Bridge to activate the trap.”
I’m really not interested in this.
“How about we find something else to look at Espree; you say there are other planets? Let’s go somewhere like that, let’s look at some other inhabited planets! ”
“We have plenty of time for that Tim AFTER we get you out.”
I’m starting to get irritated at all this talk about me being trapped.
“Get me out of WHAT?!”
“Don’t you see Tim? The effects of the Spirit Trap―the terrible experience of being trapped and constrained and overwhelmed with energy are still with you, constraining you, buried in your subconscious, suppressing your very being.”
“Well, that’s pretty wild Espree and as far as I’m concerned it can stay there in my subconscious.”
“And so you, Tim, will stay trapped,” says Espree turning serious, “I believe the influence and the power of the Spirit Trap is still in complete control of you.
“Don’t you see that these are your memories?” she says softly, “can you see that the view of the Spirit Trap affected you because it has stimulated your own experiences of the incident in your own mind?”
“Well Espree, I don’t remember this happening to me, I think that’s pretty obvious.”
“Why then, did you react so violently to that Spirit Trap? What other explanation is there other than the fact that it brought memories to your mind that probably happened millions of lifetimes ago, for you and for anyone else in this universe.
“Millions of lifetimes?” I’m confused. “What are you saying? You’re saying I have all lived before.”
Espree is staring at me with a shocked expression on her face. “Apparently we have neglected a very important point here Tim. Apparently the times I have describe you in terms of millions, or billions of years flew right over your head.
“When I say you have become trapped in this universe, I did not mean it just happened! This has been going on for billions of years! Most people you see have been around millions probably billions of years! Do you realize how many lifetimes that equates to? Can you imagine how many memories you must have—memories that have so convinced you of or mortality that you would never think otherwise?”
I am shocked! Of all the unbelievable things Espree has told me, this is the thing I simply can’t accept. It’s so…it’s so personal. Sure, you can tell me the Universe is a trap or the planet is being harvested or even that I was once a free spirit who has become trapped. It’s a nice philosophic, abstract idea that I can use when I’m in some contemplative mood or sitting around smoking weed with my friends. Now she is telling me I may be millions of years old and that I actually have memories of the whole experience? Well, I don’t. And If I did I would most certainly know it wouldn’t I? I would certainly have some kind of recollection if it were true right?
“Espree, I really don’t buy that re-incarnation stuff. It’s totally unscientific and, as far as I’m concerned, bunk for weirdoes. I really don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any memories of other lifetimes! Is that what you’re saying I should have? Well I don’t, and anyway, even if I did live before how could I remember anything if I no longer have the brain that contains the memories?”
Espree is staring at me with a look of shock. “You honestly can’t recall anything can you?”
“Well, no I don’t recall any past life memories and if I did live before why wouldn’t I have them?
“Hmm, total amnesia,” says Espree to herself, “amazing”.
“Tim, as I have explained, your brain has about as much to do with memory as your little toe. Memories are not contained in gray matter!”
“Then what ARE they contained IN?”
Espree pauses, contemplating something and says to herself. “So why should you believe anything I am saying. Your Mechanical Mind will take any truth, run it through the program and give you a pre-programmed computation of “proper thinking”.”
“Well, there’s that tree thing…” I say looking out the window at the upside-down palm tree.
“A silly stunt,” she says sadly, “I have done that with countless societies and as a result, I have become their ‘god’. I have started entire religious movements with stunts such as that.” She shakes her head. “It is meaningless Tim. In fact it is worse than meaningless, it is destructive! I have had billions, even trillions of followers who blindly believe me simply because I can pull off some stunts―because I can glow in the dark, or move large objects or fly through the air or throw some stupid thunderbolt across the sky. It’s silliness Tim, pure silliness!
“They could not see what I was talking about—I certainly couldn’t show them a Trap Ship because, up to now, the technology did not exist. Their Mechanical Mind would simply alter anything I was saying and change it into some kind of “faith” issue based upon some
kind of fable around some kind of god. It would be totally misconstrued!”
“I don’t understand Espree. If I assume what you are telling me is true and you can flip palm trees or whatever else you can do, you could get people to listen to you and if you’re telling the truth, why wouldn’t they be able to see?”
“Because Tim, I DIDN’T want them to listen to me. I wanted them to discover the truth for themselves! You can’t discover the truth if you’re merely believing what some silly ‘prophet’ is telling you to believe. The mere fact that you must accept what another says essentially requires you to admit you CAN’T KNOW and therefore must rely on someone or something else and when that happens, your personal integrity is hopeless lost. You become a slave to others idea, you lose everything; you lose yourself.
“Let me tell you Tim, there are plenty of ‘someone else’s’ that will be more than willing to tell you the ‘truth’ if you’re in a subservient state, and I can tell you most of their intentions are not to enlighten you, but rather to control you.”
“So you’re saying someone like Moses was just trying to control us and the God he was describing doesn’t exist?”
Espree pauses, trying to choose her words carefully. Then, inexplicably, she shrugs, nods to herself and goes silent again.
“What Espree?”
“I am far too critical at times Tim. And I shouldn’t be that way. I am certainly not trying to invalidate religion. Religion is the only thing that addresses you as a spirit. I only ask that you look at what I have to show you in the viewer. Then you can decide.”
She leans forward intensely.
“I will give you an example. I once thought I found a culture that solved it.
“Over there in the Simleti System on the planet Winchett. Their religion had a philosophy that was virtually identical to what I have been describing to you―Spirits are trapped in bodies, the universe is a prison; all that.
“And they believed it. They had a prophet, his name was Hestilo―a very dynamic, intelligent young man who had the whole civilization infatuated by his charismatic personality—and he was TELLING THEM THE TRUTH! And THEY completely believed in him.”
She leans back in her chair and shakes her head. “Nothing was accomplished, nothing! No one was freed, not even Hestilo himself.
“They spotted this guy and sent him back to a Mind Fabrication Repair shop. Last time I saw him he was packing crates on some remote dock on some barren planet called Sitnow.
“I tried to communicate with him but his mind was just so drugged it was mush. That’s what they do to people who speak the truth in this universe.”
“Who are they,” I ask, “Who were the ones who spotted him…”
“Oh they were just some planetary police force, rounding up rebels on unproductive planets. See, Simleti had virtually stopped their implanted education programs. They were supposed to be educating themselves on ‘freeze-gas micro-circuit technology’ so the planetary breeders could sell them as a labor force to one of the big computer outfits. Under Hestilo they stopped their education programs and ignored the people who were assigned to introduce the technology into the culture, choosing instead to follow Hestilo’s religious studies.
“The economic controllers and actuaries will tolerate and actually promote certain religions as long as they keep the citizens happy, driven and productive, but when they become unproductive, well, that’s when they step in.
“So they created a great big smear campaign on Hestilo, he was made a pariah by his own people.”
Espree shrugs. “Same ol’ story.”
I’m confused.
“But why? Why would the people deny the truth―if he was telling them the actual truth, they how could they deny it?”
“Tim! What have I been telling you since you arrived here in my office! I told you that you are an immortal spiritual being. I have explained to you that you have been around in this universe for eons. A few minutes ago, when I told you have lived previous lives, you gave me a look like I’m some kind of kook! And you still cannot conceive that this is truth.
“I understand that now. I understand that you cannot possibly differentiate my truth from that of a con-artist and let me tell you, the biggest con-artist in the universe is that Mechanical Mind that surrounds you.
“You will never be able to differentiate truth from lie until you in fact SEE it and experience it.
“Tim, I’ve told you the truth, and shown you some of it in the viewer. But it is not real to you at all is it! It does nothing to bring your memories back or free you from your body―as I have asserted, has it?”
As much as I would like to deny it, I have to admit this is all pretty strange and completely unreal to me. Trapped in a body? I don’t feel trapped in anything―my body is part of me. Memories of previous lives? How could I possibly be unaware of these significant facts if they were actually true?
“That’s right Tim, you have to KNOW. And that is exactly why I picked you Tim, you’re a non-conformist―you don’t follow the crowd just because they’re the crowd.”
“OK Espree. Assuming what you are saying is true. Assuming what you are showing me is true, how can I come to KNOW if it’s true or not?”
Espree smiles weakly and looks into my eyes, “I don’t know Tim, I have never been able to do it―in fact no one has….ever.”
She pauses to let that sink in, and then she turns to the viewer. “This is my latest idea. This has brought me hope. And that experience you had viewing the Spirit Trap has brought even more hope. Maybe by seeing what has happened to you and by watching it happening to others, you may come to know. Maybe this will work.”
All I can say at this point is that there is a palm tree in the ground upside down; everybody but Espree and I are either paralyzed or dead and this device certainly is a viewer―at lease it tests out here on Earth. Could these views she is showing me now be fake? I have absolutely no way of determining that and therein lies the eternal problem of knowledge and existence.
As for what Espree is telling me, it sorta makes sense, but she’s right, it’s all just words. Like the Bible, the Koran, the Book of the Dead it is all words. And they sound right to the reader or the interpreter; but you will never know if they are true until you actually arrive in heaven or hell or whatever “place” or “state” the words are supposed to lead.
Of course we could both be totally wrong and headed straight to hell on judgment day, but if this isn’t judgment day then I don’t know what is. And those people out there are apparently going nowhere but into some big cargo ship to be transported to some other planet.
I look out at the mass of bodies lying around like some macabre mass suicide.
Espree follows my gaze.
“They are almost here.”
“Who?”
“The Body Collectors. Come, let’s see how they work.”
CHAPTER 8
I’m looking out the glass outer door but I don’t know if I want to go out there. I see a number of strange objects flying across the campus. For their size and shape, they move incredibly fast. Their movements remind me of big bumble bees bouncing from flower to flower only these things are big white hot air balloons and they are flying sideways. I am amazed at how fast they bounce from one place to another! It’s rather intimidating.
“They’re not going to ‘collect’ us are they?”
“No Tim, don’t worry about that.”
I follow her out the door and for the first time―since my view of the entire universe along with virtually everything I ever believe changed―we walk outside.
It feels very strange and even stranger walking among hundreds of bodies lying on the ground like some strange spooky episode of The Twilight Zone.
A big balloon suddenly shoots by. I still feel concerned that we are exposed out in the open.
“Espree, shouldn’t we be hiding or something? What if they see us?”
“Don’t worry Tim. The beings that run these coll
ector ships are only interested in a specific wavelength or signal. All the people lying about have a node in their brain which was activated by the gas and is currently giving off a signal. That was the thing I destroy in your head with the deactivator. The collectors are only interested in bodies that emit this signal. They have millions of bodies to collect and they are probably working for a bonus if they get the job done quickly so they have no time to look around at other things, even if they could.
Another balloon zips by with unbelievable speed and stops in the field just in front of us. Attached just below the balloon is an open vessel with three strange looking creatures standing inside—like in the basket of a hot air balloon. They have very round bald heads and protruding eyeballs. At the end of their two slender arms are hands that have only three fingers. The hands are holding a wand of some sort. One of the creatures points its wand at two bodies. The bodies rise up and follow the direction of the wand up and into the balloon. The creature points at two more and they quickly rise up and disappear into the balloon. In a matter of seconds, all the nearby bodies have been moved beneath the big balloon and been sucked up into it.
“Very specialized Sentient Workers,” says Espree, “they are bred to collect bodies. They only see a narrow band of visual light. Their ears detect only the signal coming from a body ready to be collected. That is how they locate them.”
“So they can’t even see us?”
“They can detect our presence, but we are perceived like any other animal here on earth. They are only interested in the humanoids giving off the signal.”
In a matter of seconds an entire field, an estimate as 2000 bodies, have been collected up and tossed into the big balloon. The balloon zips away.
“Fast aren’t they! They have to be. Some breeding planets can have up to 10 trillion bodies to collect up.”
“How do they move the bodies just by pointing at them? And how do those big balloons move so fast! There appears to be no centrifugal force affecting it.” It’s like being shot in a rocket and experiencing no “g” force at all.
Total Amnesia: Forgotten Lives Page 8