by Mayer, Dale
He shook his head. Whether he liked it or not, this was where he was for the moment. Knowing the ground rules would help. No one had offered him a book of rules and instructions for ghosts.
Cassie strolled ahead of him, texting on her cell phone. He wished he knew who was on the receiving end of her text. It should be him. He missed her calls. She’d text him if class was boring, the coffee was good and even with comments friends made. No more.
He hated it. Hated the loneliness. Hated feeling lost. Hated being dead.
Across the street some homeless looking dude was staring at her. The guy wore a stupid lecherous grin on his face and when Cassie strolled away he turned to watch. That pissed Todd off. No losers should be allowed to look at someone as good as Cassie. Todd snarled in his direction, "What the hell are you looking at?"
The guy widened his grin, gave him the finger and walked down the street.
Todd glared. Asshole. Spinning around again, he found Cassie had disappeared around the corner. He stopped. Wait, that guy had understood him. He’d seen and heard him. Todd spun around.
The homeless guy was gone.
Shit.
***
School on Monday sucked. Cassie had spent most of Sunday waiting, hoping that Todd would show up. No such luck. She avoided her friends. She didn’t want to talk about him, but she wanted to talk to him. She still didn’t understand what had happened on Todd’s last night either.
"Cassie?"
Cassie spun around and came up against the crush of people racing behind her. But that voice?
"Cassie?"
Todd’s younger brother, Jessie, stepped in front her. Cassie’s hopes deflated, but at the same time her heart lightened. Seemed like she'd had a crush on Jessie since forever. He lived with Todd’s mom on the other side of town. She hadn’t spent much time with Jessie, but he’d always been nice to her. Besides, he was deadly cute.
Todd hated that Jessie was a warmer version of himself. Jessie was so much more than that. Jessie had broader shoulders, was slightly taller and very approachable. Add in Jessie’s lopsided grin and those chocolate sun-kissed curls…she almost sighed deliriously. She caught the sound at the last minute, but still felt heat rise up her neck.
Blinking hard, she gave Jessie a friendly smile, loving the instant response on his face. Jessie had tried to be friendly, to connect as family to Todd, but divorce – with each parent taking one kid – didn’t do much for brotherly love. "Hi, Jessie, how are you holding up?"
He glanced down at the cement floor. His curls, so like his brother’s, fell forward the same way Todd’s had. He swallowed.
Tears came to her eyes. She hastily looked away, blinking several times.
Jessie shifted to one side to get out of the way as they were once again engulfed by a crowd. "I’m okay. It’s been tough, though. I wished I’d gotten to know him better. Wished we’d had more time to grow up and get out of all that family crap. Maybe we could’ve been closer."
When Grams died, Cassie had been obsessed with all the plans they’d made together that would never come to pass. She understood Jessie’s pain. "How’s your mom?"
He snorted. "She alternates between blaming Dad and then herself for Todd going bad."
Cassie stiffened. "Dying in a car accident is hardly a case of having gone bad."
"It is when he’s been drinking and driving. Or didn’t you know that part?"
"I’ve heard the rumors, but I don’t believe everything I hear. I spent a lot of time with Todd, and he never drank around me, nor did I ever see him drive after he'd been drinking." Cassie’s temper flashed and was followed almost immediately by a twinge of disappointment that Jessie had automatically believed the rumors.
The bell rang and the two slowly made their way to the end of the hall.
Cassie, still slightly indignant on Todd’s behalf, remained quiet.
"I hope the police find evidence that says different," Jessie said. "But for my mom, well, she’s been through this before with my dad, so she’s already figured that Todd followed his father’s footsteps."
At the door to Cassie’s chemistry class, she stopped to study his face. "Forget about what she thinks. You’re what, sixteen?"
"Almost seventeen. Todd was only sixteen months older."
Loyalty for Todd demanded some kind of defense. "Maybe you didn’t know your brother all that well, but didn’t you know him enough to decide for yourself what he would’ve done?" She stepped around the corner, narrowly avoiding being run down by other students. "I do. And I choose to believe in Todd. He didn’t do what they say he did."
"But the police said that he’d been driving under the influence," he protested.
"Then it’s up to us to prove them wrong." With that Cassie turned and entered into the chaos of the science room, leaving a stunned Jessie behind.
***
Jessie watched through the doorway as Cassie took her seat. She’d always been so careless of her popularity, not really seeing it for the gift it was. Genuinely nice girls weren’t always popular. And her association with his brother probably kept her from being one of the ‘in’ crowd, but she never seemed to notice – nor did anyone else. Todd had had only good things to say about her. Apparently they’d been best friends, whatever that meant to Todd.
She had to be hurting.
Hell, he was hurting.
And not a little bit because of her comment. Was he doing his brother a disservice by believing what he’d been told? Todd had learned to question life earlier than Jessie had. Living with Dad had been a crash course in survival. Jessie’s life had been easier, gentler. Still, being raised to respect authority, including law enforcement, didn’t mean he couldn’t question them or their conclusions. He wished he’d thought to question the deputy who’d stood on his front doorstep a couple of days ago. Only he’d been too stunned to do anything but blink at the shocking news.
"Hell," he said aloud to the empty hallway, "I should’ve asked questions." He frowned. Maybe he still could. He certainly didn’t remember the guy’s name. How did one go chasing down an officer, anyway?
"Jessie? Aren’t you supposed to be in class?"
Jessie came out of his musings to see Vice Principle Jenner standing in front of him, his brow furrowed in concern. With no hair above those creases, his face looked like a wrinkled orange. Jessie sighed. "Sorry. I’m a bit out of it today."
Mr. Jenner’s face softened. "That’s understandable. Sorry to hear about your brother. That’s a tough one to deal with on any day. Do you need to go home?"
Jessie hated the sympathy. What was he supposed to do with it? Say ‘thanks’? For what? That his brother was dead? Or should he say it didn’t matter? Like hell. It did matter. "I’m fine. I need to get to class, before I end up in trouble with my teacher."
With a nod, Mr. Jenner stepped aside to let Jessie pass. "Let me know if you’re having problems adjusting, okay?"
Jessie lifted his hand in acknowledgment. That wasn’t going to happen. He had enough trouble now. There’d been more talk about grief counselors coming. That didn’t make any sense to him.
It didn’t change anything. His brother was still dead.
***
Cassie couldn’t pay attention. The periodic table wasn’t cutting it today. She sighed and shifted back slightly. Her phone vibrated. She checked it and glanced over at Suzie, who grinned at her. Cassie nodded ‘yes’ to the text suggesting coffee after class. She shouldn’t have been so snippy with Jessie, but everything and everyone pissed her off at the moment. Talk about a short fuse. Maybe being with her friends might get her out of this dark mood.
The teacher droned on and Cassie, sitting in the sun, barely kept her eyes open. Ten more minutes, that’s all she had to put up with. She glanced out at the sunshine. The soccer field raced with colors as two teams paired up to trounce each other. Todd had loved soccer. Darn. That’s all she could think about.
A noise distracted her. Her gaze drifted around t
he room, picking up the whisperers and the gigglers in the back. What? She stiffened and spun around again.
Todd.
Turning back around, she brought a hand up to hide the heat climbing her cheeks. What was he doing here, in her chemistry class? He wouldn’t have been caught dead inside this room when he was alive, yet now that he was dead he was trying out the subject? That so didn’t make any sense. She surreptitiously looked around. No one said anything. Or acted any different. Didn’t they see him?
She studied Mr. Barrels, the chemistry teacher. He stared in Todd’s direction. And didn't notice him. Cautiously Cassie turned her head to see if he was still there.
He waved, a big grin on his face. She automatically waved back, her eyes widening in shock as she realized what she’d done. Todd’s devilish grin widened and he laughed. Cassie pivoted and kept her head locked in that position, knowing her cheeks had to be bright red by now.
"What’s the matter, Cassie?" whispered Tess from behind.
Cassie shrugged, not daring to speak or turn for a third time. Darn Todd anyways. He was going to get her in trouble. No sooner had the thought occurred then she chastised herself. Todd was dead. He wasn’t doing anything. And how sad was that?
Finally the bell rang and drowned out Mr. Barrel’s monotone voice droning on and on about chemical compounds. He was still speaking as the first kids bolted for the door. Cassie took her time. If Todd was still there, she needed to composed herself, or she’d walk right up and speak to him. To everyone else, she’d be talking to the door because that’s where he’d been standing. She groaned. This couldn’t be good. She so wasn’t any good at keeping secrets.
Tess waited for her to gather up her books. "Are you alright? You were acting weird."
Cassie tried to smile. "I’m fine. Or I will be. I keep seeing Todd everywhere, or expecting to see him," she amended quickly.
Tess’s face scrunched up with compassion. "Oh, that’s so sad. You two were so close."
"Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have come in today. I haven’t been able to keep my mind on anything. I’m just going to have to read these notes over again at home."
"Stay home tomorrow. You’re a good student. One day won’t make a difference."
Cassie couldn’t find a smile for that. One day had made all the difference – and not for the better.
CHAPTER FOUR
Jessie hurried home. He was due at work in an hour, but he’d hoped to have time to talk to his mom first. His mom had collapsed in her favorite chair in the sunroom, her face red and puffy.
He sighed. "Hi Mom."
She sniffled back tears and gave him a watery smile. "Hi, honey. How did school go?"
He dropped his backpack on the floor and pulled up the footstool in the middle of the room. Rolling closer, he reached out and picked up her hand. "School was okay. Everyone’s talking about Todd. To be expected, I guess."
She tried to straighten up. After a moment of unsuccessful effort she collapsed back down. "I’m sorry, honey. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have broken up the family like I did."
"Oh, Mom, no one could have predicted this."
A frown wrinkled through her tears. "I should have. Look at his father. I should never have allowed Adam to take him, but he loved Todd so much. They were so close, then. Todd helped stabilize Adam." She sniffled. "You’ve ended up so much better than Todd."
"Did we really know him?" Jessie couldn’t help but remember Cassie. She’d seemed so adamant, so sure of Todd. Yet he, Todd's own brother, wasn’t. "Are you so sure he was the kind of person who’d drink and drive?"
Confusion blinked in her eyes. "What else is there to think?" She straightened successfully this time. Leaning forward, she patted his hand. "The police told us what happened."
"I know they did. I…it’s just I’d like to make sure. Do you remember who came to the door and spoke to us?" Jessie searched his mother’s face.
She frowned. "Honey, I don’t think there’s been a mistake."
He bent his head. "I know. But I need to make sure. I just want to talk to him. Ask a few questions. Make sure. I don’t want to think back on this and wish I’d done more."
Unshed tears glowed in her eyes. "Then call him. His card is on the table." Pride slowly crept into her eyes. "You’re such a good boy for having thought of it."
Jessie smiled. "You would have eventually. That’s why I want to do this now, so there’re no doubts later on." He stood up and walked to the table, snagging the card on his way.
***
"Cassie, it’s dinner time."
Cassie groaned and closed her eyes again. She didn’t care about food. She didn’t care about school. She just wanted everything and everyone to go away.
Her mom’s voice came again, gratingly loud. "Cassie, come on."
Sitting upright, Cassie threw off her blanket and walked to her mirror. She winced at her reflection. Her hair stuck out like it had been gelled. Picking up a brush, she ran it through her hair. As she started to close the door to her room, she cast yet another glance at the same corner where she’d seen Todd. It was empty. Again. She’d looked dozens of times, called for him twice as many times, and still there was no sign of him.
Her stomach clenched. Maybe he couldn’t come anymore.
She headed down to dinner. Sensing her parents studying her throughout the meal, she kept her head down and worked through her plate. There’d be fewer questions this way. Everything tasted like cardboard. When she was done, she stood up and went to wash the dishes. Her father started to say something, then stopped.
Her mother’s doing probably. Cassie didn’t care. Finishing the dishes, she headed upstairs, maintaining her silence. Once in her room, she flung herself down on her bed and closed her eyes.
The phone rang downstairs. "Cassie, it’s for you."
She rolled her eyes. Great. Picking up the phone in the hallway, she yelled, "Got it, Mom." She took the phone back into her room. "Hello."
"Cassie? This is Jessie."
Cassie frowned as she plunked back down on her bed. "Hi."
"Look, I thought about what you said."
She fell back against the pillows and groaned. "And what was that?" She barely kept the sarcasm in control.
He took a deep breath. "As much as I hate to say it - you were right. I didn’t question anything I was told. And…" He paused. "I realize I should have."
Cassie raised her eyebrows. "I’m glad." He laughed, a mocking sound that made her wince. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be snarky. I’m not having a great day."
"No, it’s alright. I deserved it. I’m sorry for not being there for him. But I wanted to tell you that I called the sheriff’s office."
Cassie bolted upright. "You did? What did they say?"
He cleared his throat. "The deputy said that Todd was the only person around the vehicle."
"Around? You mean he wasn’t found in it?"
"No. He was found clear of the vehicle, either from being thrown out or he crawled off a ways."
"Oh," Cassie said in a small voice, as horrible images rushed through her mind. Todd bouncing from the crashed vehicle or worse images of Todd crashing but alive and crawling out of the vehicle, only to die alone from his injuries.
"They found broken bottles and alcohol all over the interior of the vehicle. He was also covered in it."
Cassie let out a small cry.
Jessie rushed to add, "The deputy also said he wouldn’t have suffered long. His injuries were severe enough he wouldn’t have known what was going on."
"That helps a little." Cassie took a deep breath, willing the tears back. She blinked furiously. "I’d hate to think of him hurt and alone, waiting for someone to come." She took a second breath, this one coming easier. "They’re sure he was all alone?"
"That’s what they said. They have laid the blame on Todd’s head and his alone."
Cassie closed her eyes. Hot tears ran down her cheeks, unchecked. "I’d hoped for something
different."
"I know. Me, too." Jessie voice deepened. "I asked him several times if someone could have walked away from the accident."
Cassie’s eyes opened wide. "Oh. What did he say?"
"He said it was unlikely."
"Unlikely, but not impossible?" Hope bubbled up inside. Finally. Something positive. Progress. She grinned.
Jessie’s voice dampened her optimism. "That wasn’t a yes."