by Mayer, Dale
Cassie laughed. "How typical. Twist everything around to suit yourself. Can you think about a place and then just find you’re there?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"Sweet. I could use that trick getting to and from school or heading to the mall."
"Yeah, except that, because of the way you’d get that skill, you’d no longer have a reason to go to the mall or anywhere else, for that matter." His sober face stared at her. "Remember, you’d be dead – like me."
***
Adam Spence stared at his face in the mirror. His son was dead. His ex-wife was a nagging bitch. His youngest son was a thief. He’d come into Adam’s own home and left again when Adam hadn’t been there. Or, his conscious reminded him, when he’d been asleep. What was he to do with that information?
He wouldn’t have known except Todd’s bedroom door was open, his drawers were left askew and he’d found a piece of paper that had obviously fallen out of Jessie’s pocket onto the floor. Though he might not have spent much time with his youngest in the last few years, he sure as hell knew his writing. His mom made him write letters and cards incessantly. Adam would have preferred in-person-visits and Jessie, he was sure, would have preferred to send an impersonal email.
So neither of them got what they wanted.
Why had Jessie come here? What had he been after? And more to the point, what had he taken?
***
Deputy Magnusson hung up the phone and tried to clean up his hurried notes. He couldn’t explain to himself why he was still pursuing Cassie’s faint hope, but by now, lodged somewhere in his brain was an acceptance that her theory was quite possible, and maybe they’d done this kid a wrong.
The sheriff didn’t agree. He hated Adam Spence something fierce and refused to consider that the son wasn’t exactly the same as the father. Before storming out this morning, he’d made his opinion damn clear.
"Damn nuisance, these kids," he’d said. "Think they can do whatever they want without paying the consequences. Well, this little bastard got what was coming to him. I’m not wasting any taxpayer money on the damn case. He was alone and covered in alcohol and he crashed. Simple. Put it down as an accident, if that makes you feel better, but that damn kid had been drinking."
Gerome could still hear the rattling of the walls when he thought about those words.
Only Gerome didn’t have the same prejudice. And he didn’t think much of not doing a proper job of things. More than that, someone might be getting away with something they shouldn’t be.
He added the new sheet to Todd’s file, and made a notation in his notebook to bring it up with the sheriff. The investigator said the airbags had deployed and deflated properly.
There’d been blood on the airbag. There’d been blood everywhere. As much as he wanted to get it tested for DNA, the county’s budget didn’t extend to supporting suppositions like this one. This wasn’t a murder. This was an accident brought on by the victim himself. Supposedly.
Cassie had filled him on Todd’s cell phone, explaining that one call she made was answered by an older woman, proving the cell phone hadn’t been destroyed in the fire. So how had the woman gotten hold of it?
He turned the information over and over in his head, searching out and destroying different scenarios. It still came back to who answered Todd Spence’s cell, and how had the cell phone come into their possession? And did any of it matter. Todd was still dead.
***
Todd sat in the deputy’s spare chair and wondered how to tell him to keep looking. How to tell the deputy to believe in him. To believe that Todd hadn’t been drinking and driving. The deputy appeared to be honest. He was Maggie’s dad. Maggie was pretty cool, even though her dad was in law enforcement.
How did Maggie communicate with someone like that? Not that Todd could use the same methods. He tried to move a piece of paper that sat on the deputy’s file. It wouldn’t budge. He tried to blow on the paper. Nothing.
"Hello? Can you hear me?"
The deputy groaned.
Todd leaned forward in amazement. "Hello? Hello?"
The deputy shut the file and leaned back on his chair. "Drinking and driving huh? Stupid."
"What’s stupid?"
"The sheriff’s not happy. To ask for more man-hours to keep looking would just piss him off more. The case is closed, Gerome."
His mimic made Todd grin. He liked this guy. Now if only he’d keep working on this case.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Cassie walked in the direction of the main street. Living in a small town meant not a lot went on, and there weren’t many things to do or see – particularly after school, like now. On the other hand, it made it easier to go to places without her parents. The only way she’d stop in and talk to this doctor was if no one was around. And that meant no one, including Todd. If he wanted her to check out this woman, then he wasn’t allowed to listen in either.
The small door of the brick brownstone was surprisingly cozy looking, instead of intimidating and clinical as she’d expected. Cassie hesitated briefly. Opening the door, she stepped inside. She hoped the doctor was still there and available, although the sign on the door said the clinic would be closing any minute.
The waiting room had the appearance of a living room, not an office. Couches, coffee tables – even a television. Not a wealthy, cold interior or a sparsely furnished room like she’d expected. The front reception was empty. She leaned over, searching for a bell. There didn’t appear to be one.
"Hello?"
She frowned, waited a long moment, not sure what to do. Could everyone have left for the day and forgotten to lock the door?
"Cassie. How nice to see you." Dr. Sanchez strolled into the reception room, a gentle smile on her face.
Glancing at the door behind her, Cassie wished she’d bolted when she had the chance. She didn’t know what to say. It’s not like it was nice to see her, only she’d come to the office on her own.
"Is there something I can help you with?" Dr. Sanchez walked to the office chair and sat down, smiling up at her.
"I don’t know. I’m not exactly sure why I’m here, to be honest."
"Well, I’m glad you are." She busied herself pulling out a schedule and searching for a pencil. "Did you want to talk today or make an appointment for another time?"
With a light groan, Cassie said, "It needs to be now or I may talk myself out of returning."
That startled a laugh out of Dr. Sanchez. Offering Cassie an understanding smile, she said, "By all means, let’s talk now."
"Uhm?" Cassie hated this next question. "Do I have to pay you or something? I don’t know how this works." Shoving her hands in her pocket, she stood uncertainly in place.
Laughing lightly, Dr. Sanchez stood, motioning to a side door. "Don’t worry about that. I’ve set it up with your parents already. Come on through to my office."
Cassie halted. She looked around the small cozy-looking room. "Would you mind if we talked here instead?"
Dr. Sanchez raised one eyebrow… Cassie didn’t think much surprised her anymore.
"Sure." Dr. Sanchez walked out to the reception room and waved her hand wide. "Pick a seat."
Cassie chose the armchair in the corner. She knew there’d be some kind of psychological reasoning behind her choice and Dr. Sanchez would have taken note of it. Still, she’d come this far, she might as well go on.
"How are you doing at school?"
That wasn’t what she wanted to talk about, however any opening worked. "School’s okay. While it’s difficult sometimes, in many ways it’s no different from before."
"Does that bother you? That it’s no different now?"
"Well, my world has changed so much, why hasn’t everyone else’s?" Her voice, laced with resentment, surprised Cassie. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding that in.
"I can see how that might be difficult."
"That’s not the real issue. Everyone thinks Todd got what he deserved. Many say good
riddance and make comments about how they’re happy he’s not here anymore."
The doctor had been writing notes. At Cassie’s words, she raised her head and studied Cassie’s face. "That would be hard for anyone. I wouldn’t like to hear things like that about my friends, either."
"And some of those people were his friends. Todd had levels of friends."
"Explain what you mean by that, please."
Cassie settled deeper into her chair. "Todd had friends to party with. Friends to play games with. Friends to hang around at school with. And then there was me, his best friend."
"Did you have a problem with those other friends? Did you want to be one of them?" The doctor opened the small notebook Cassie hadn’t even noticed she carried.
Cassie grinned. "Oh no. You see, I was the one that mattered all the time. The others only mattered some of the time. Todd and I could talk. About anything, anytime."
"And you don’t have the same relationship with anyone else now, correct?"
"Correct." Cassie stared down at her hands folded in her lap like a young schoolgirl. "Before Todd, I had Grams."
"Ahh." Dr. Sanchez pulled a pen out of her pocket and wrote down a couple of things. "Death has taken a lot from you."
"Everything," Cassie cried out softly. "Everyone I cared about has died."
"What about your mother?"
"No."
"No?" Dr. Sanchez shifted backwards slightly. "What does that mean, Cassie?"
A slight frown whispered across Cassie’s face despite her best attempts to not let it. She didn’t like discussing her mother. She didn’t do it willing with her friends and found it more uncomfortable with this doctor.
Grabbing her courage, Cassie opened up the one corner of her life she’d worked hard to forget. "My mother cares about my father and herself. Only. There is no room in their relationship for me. Any more than there was room for Grams."
"You don’t feel loved?" The good doctor tilted her head, frowning.
"Yes, they love me. As much as they are capable. The problem, I guess, is that I’m needy. I need more. Grams was the same as me in that she also needed more than my parents could give. When I lost Grams, I effectively lost everything." A harsh laugh escaped. "Sorry, I don’t mean to be dramatic. It’s just when Grams died, it was obvious my mother didn’t care. I couldn’t stand to be close to her anymore."
"And does that bother you?"
Cassie tilted her head back to stare up at the ceiling. "I guess it must."
"Are your friends close to their moms?"
"Penny is super close. Her mom’s the best. They can talk about anything. They have spa days, and shopping parties. Penny’s dad is pretty cool, too. Cool in that he doesn’t feel left out – or doesn’t seem to," she added as an afterthought.
Dr. Sanchez grinned. "I’ll have to remember that for when my daughter is older."
"Yeah, she’d probably enjoy that."
"So Penny gets to do special things with her mom and you don’t do anything with yours?"
"Right."
"Hardly seems fair, does it?"
"My father would say something along the line of ‘who said life was supposed to be fair?’" Cassie grinned at the sour look on Dr. Sanchez’s face. "Something I’m sure you’ve heard before."
Dr. Sanchez smiled wryly. "Oh yes. Both my parents still like to remind me of that." Dr. Sanchez wrote down a few more things.
Watching her, Cassie wondered what could be so important.
"Have you ever spoken to your mother about how you feel?"
Cassie choked. "No. I find it hard to talk to her at all."
"Is that how you want the relationship to continue?"
Moving her feet up and down in front of her, Cassie stared at them moodily. "I don’t know. If I could have a relationship like Penny has with her mom, maybe I’d change it. However that would’ve had to have happened a long time ago, so it can’t be like theirs." Her breath puffed out of her mouth in a small burst. "So yeah, it might as well just continue the way it is."
"And if it does, with Grams and Todd gone, you’re going to be lonely. Lonely in a way you’ll find quite difficult."
Pursing her lips, Cassie nodded. "True, however, even if things changed, my mother isn’t exactly going to replace Todd or my grandmother, so what choice do I have? Relationships like this are not formed overnight. I might turn more to Penny, or her mom even."
"Won’t that cause trouble between Penny and you?"
She hadn’t thought of that. "Possibly. I don’t know. I’ll have to see. Todd isn’t replaceable, any more than Grams was."
A warm smile crossed the doctor’s face. She pondered a moment, looking at Cassie, then put down her pencil and tilted her fingers under her chin.
"Why did you come here today?"
What to say? Cassie blinked several times, thinking. "I knew this scenario wouldn’t end after walking out Saturday, and…"
"And," the doctor prompted.
Cassie sighed heavily. "It’s what Grams and Todd would have wanted."
"Ahh." With one eyebrow raised, Dr. Sanchez, in a soft, so gentle voice, asked a much harder question, "Yes, but what does Cassie want?"
***
Jessie wandered throughout the house, lost.
"Are you alright, Jessie?" His mom had come up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you hungry?"
He groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. "No, Mom. Food won’t fix everything."
"I know that. I’m sorry." She lifted her hand as if to touch him.
He stepped back. "I’m fine."
"No. You’re not. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’d like to." She chewed on her bottom lip. "Honey, I know this has been tough. I might be able to help, if you’d let me."
"I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do."
"Please don’t say that." Her hand clenched on her blouse, and barely held her tears back. She looked for the world like a beaten puppy.
Jessie sighed. He didn’t want to bring this up. He couldn’t stand not knowing any longer. "Mom, why didn’t you have anything to do with Todd?"
Her eyebrows raised in surprise. She sniffled once. "Well, I did. At least I tried to, but I’d left it too long. He was too hurt and didn’t want anything to do with me."
"Why would you split us up the way you did? One child – one parent?"
His mother crossed her arms over her chest, gazing blindly out the window. "At the time, it seemed to be the best way to handle things. I was closer to you and Todd had become a handful. I thought he needed a stronger hand than I could give."
That made sense. Kind of. "Why not just move both of us back and forth between the two homes like everyone else did?"
"There was supposed to more interaction. Sundays together, Mom days and Dad days, only the divorce was so bitter. The arguing so bad, those special times days didn’t happen."
"Ya think?"
"I’m sorry for my part in not keeping us together. At the time I was hurting, too. It was easier to leave everything alone. By the time I realized how distant everyone had become, it was too late to change."
Jessie listened, trying to understand, knowing that there was no way he could do what they’d done. He’d want to love both sons equally. And he’d thought everyone would. Instead, when Todd had become a problem, along with Dad’s increased drinking and violent behavior, his mom had been so relieved to put some distance between them, she'd smothered the child she had left and abandoned the other.
She’d been scared, misguided and wrong.
And his father’s excuse? Who knew? It’s not like anyone could talk to him anymore. He was committing suicide the hard way. "Was he always a drunk?"
"No," she whispered. "Not like this. Not until after the divorce." She turned to face him. "That was another reason to avoid working to keep the family close. He’d started drinking heavily. We couldn’t count on him being sober when we visited or what he’d say while we were there."
<
br /> "And yet you left Todd with him?"
"By that time Todd hated me and it was already too late. He refused to move back and I couldn’t get your dad to quit drinking." She sniffled slightly. "I should have tried harder to get closer to him. But I didn’t and now it’s too late."
Jessie sighed. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back all those bad memories."