by Mayer, Dale
"Good."
They stopped at her locker, looking at each other. He shifted awkwardly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Cassie unlocked her locker, opening it to pull out her English book. Reaching up one arm, Cassie tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear and blew out her breath. The school bell rang.
Cassie smiled, relieved. "Until later."
***
Adam reached for the bottle and raised it to his lips. He wanted a drink. He wanted it really badly. And it was there. In front of him.
Yet he couldn’t seem to take a drink.
Guilt consumed him, didn’t allow him to sleep, eat or, apparently, to drink anymore. Drinking had helped him to forget. He wanted forgetfulness. He needed it. It was the only way he could get through his day. Through the nightmare his life had become. It had been bad before. His life on a downward spiral after he'd hit that poor woman.
Guilt.
Guilt that he might have contributed to his son’s death.
Guilt that he might have killed his boy.
Guilt that he might have snuffed out the only good thing in his life.
Tears started streaming down his face.
He wiped them away.
They wouldn’t stop. He grabbed his sleeve and wiped, then wiped again. Tears continued to fall. Adam’s heart broke, one teardrop at a time. Within minutes he cried in earnest and, like a baby, he curled up on his side and bawled. The tempest lasted hours. When it passed, he cuddled up into a ball and fell asleep.
***
Cassie couldn’t wait for this last class to finally end. The whole day had appeared endless. Absolute torture. The teachers just wouldn’t shut up. In contrast, lunch hour resembled a cyclone, whipping past her in a blur. Penny had asked about Jessie, unleashing giggles and girl talk – a welcome relief from the intense waiting sensation.
"So are you going to see him again?"
Cassie looked sideways at Penny. They both giggled.
"This afternoon."
"Ooooh." Penny leaned toward Cassie, peering around at the others. "Are you going on a date?"
Cassie smirked. Keeping her voice down, she replied, "No, we’re just going to walk home together."
"Wow, does he live close to you?"
"Not really. About fifteen minutes away from Todd’s place."
"How would Todd handle this?"
Cassie stopped, straightened up and stared at her best friend. How would Todd feel about this? She searched the room, afraid Todd was staring down at her in disgust. Thankfully, he wasn’t there.
"I don’t know. Todd and I were friends. We weren’t boyfriend-girlfriend kind of friends. Everyone thought we were, only we weren’t."
"I know you’ve said that in the past, but I did kinda wonder."
Cassie closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. Todd and I were close, really close. We loved each other, just not like that. That’s why he had girlfriends. We used to talk about his relationships and why he chose those kinds of girls. We used to laugh about the guys I had crushes on. In fact, Todd used to make suggestions as to which guys were okay and which ones to avoid. You remember. I used to tell you about some of them?"
Penny sat up straight. "Yes, I do." She studied Cassie’s smiling face. "Do you really think he’d be okay with you going out with his brother?"
"Well, I’m not going out with him exactly, just getting to know him better."
Penny giggled again.
Cassie laughed. "Stop it. We’re just, you know…friends."
That set Penny off giggling again, and Cassie had to admit it was pretty fun. In a party mood once again, the two girls headed back toward PE class, first up in the afternoon. Pushing through the crowd, the girls walked happily toward the gym.
Cassie gasped when she was suddenly slammed up against the lockers. A strong arm pressed against her neck; a knee, and hip pinned her to the metal.
Kendra.
"Leave her alone, you witch." Penny pulled on Kendra’s arm as Cassie struggled to get loose, only Kendra was several years older, taller and heavier. Not to mention meaner.
"Lay off. Todd was mine, and Jessie will never be yours."
"What the…?"
"Did you hear me, you bitch?" Kendra snarled.
Cassie choked and coughed. Kendra eased the pressure against her throat.
"What is your problem, Kendra? You ruined your relationship with Todd, and now you’re dreaming if you think his brother will give you the time of day."
"Bitch. I didn’t do anything wrong with Todd. I loved him. It’s your fault our relationship didn’t last. You put a wedge between us." Kendra’s bitterness boiled over, releasing months of anger and pain.
Cassie stared at her in astonishment. "You’re full of it. You slept with his friend. You slept with Levine." Cassie remembered Todd’s reaction when Levine had confessed. Even though there’d been little in the way of love between Todd and Kendra, he’d been hurt by the betrayal. Cassie never understood if it was Levine’s betrayal or Kendra’s that had hurt Todd the most.
Kendra eased up more. "He wouldn’t have told you that. He couldn’t have. He loved me."
Cassie mocked her. "Loved you? Like hell. You cheated on him, betrayed him. You destroyed any feelings he had for you." She shrugged Kendra off, slipping out from under her arm. "How dare you say you loved him? You loved yourself. You used him." Cassie took several steps toward the gym, pulling Penny with her. "Now leave me alone. The next time you pull a stunt like that I’ll report you."
"Go ahead. No one will believe you. They’re already saying you’re losing it. That Todd’s death has affected you in the head."
Suddenly Cassie had had it. Tired of Kendra’s crap. Tired of trying to figure out what had happened. Tired of trying to hold it all together. She just didn’t care anymore. "What’s the matter, Kendra, guilt eating away at you? Are you the one using Todd’s Facebook account to send out emails? Wanting to keep Todd close, you hijacked his account. How pathetic is that? Todd never loved you. He screwed you – until you screwed him by cheating on him. Then he couldn’t even be bothered to do that."
Kendra’s face bristled, her eyes darkening to black. "How dare you, you little bitch. Todd loved me. I made the memorial page to honor him, because he loved me. Me. Not you. He didn’t give you his account information, did he? I didn’t have to hijack anything. He gave me his password a long time ago."
"Right. Pillow talk? Did you pass that information on to Levine too? How about Isaac? Or Michael?"
Fury darkened Kendra’s face.
"Wow, momma. You may have gone too far." Penny backed up, pulling Cassie’s arm. "Come on. Let’s get out of here."
Cassie stood her ground and faced Kendra down. Built like an exotic dancer with pink hair, Kendra was a mean enemy. If she didn’t finally beat Kendra at her own game, there’d be no end of this day-in and day-out bullying. "Do you really think everyone doesn’t know, Kendra? You sleep with anyone for a drink. For a meal. For a laugh."
Tears sprang to Kendra’s eyes. Though Cassie felt mean, she didn’t dare back down. Kendra had to face reality. "You are no one to me, yet Todd was everything to both us. Too bad only one of us respected him and his love."
"That’s not true," Kendra whispered heavily, her lithe body sagging against the lockers and slowly sliding down to the floor. Tears welling in the corner of her eyes. "I loved him."
"Yeah, you might have. At least loved him as you much as you know how. You had a chance at something wonderful. You blew it."
"I didn’t know until it was too late." Kendra wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "I’d never had a guy treat me right and so I never–"
"Treated them right." Cassie finished for her, staring down at the scuffed up hallway floor. "Well, you were gifted with someone who would have done well by you. Maybe you will learn from this."
"And Jessie?" Kendra asked bitterly.
"Forget Jessie. He won’t touch Todd’s leftovers."
Kendra snorted. Her voice
cuttingly sarcastic as she snapped, "Yet you think he’ll be willing to touch you."
Cassie stiffened. Penny’s grip on her arm tightened. "Why not," she said coolly. "I’m not one of Todd’s leftovers, and Jessie already knows it." She’d have laughed at the look on Kendra’s face any other time, but this conversation was too painful and too brutal for humor.
With a last commiserating smile in Kendra’s direction, Cassie and Penny raced to class, leaving Kendra to nurse her wounds.
***
Jessie knew the rumors had been distorted but would be loosely based on fact. What he heard made him both wince and grin. That Todd’s girlfriend should have played so fast and loose was comically sad, particularly considering Todd was dead. He personally didn’t think his brother would have cared about Kendra’s behavior. He’d probably thought it was funnier than hell. Taking what he wanted from the relationship and giving nothing back.
The part of the rumor involving him made for interesting pondering. Should he ask Cassie about it this afternoon or leave well enough alone?
Maybe she’d mention it herself.
Jessie waited at the front steps for Cassie to show up. He’d planned to go to the accountant’s first. He glanced at his watch. She wasn’t late yet. There were still a lot of teens milling around the area. Cassie should be along any minute.
"Waiting for your girlfriend, Jessie?" The laughter and jokes surrounded him. He took it all in stride, feeling a secret warmth at the concept. He wished. He could only hope that Cassie would want the position. He could certainly understand Todd’s attraction.
At the reminder of his brother, his stomach cooled. A new worry crept in. Was he stealing Todd’s girlfriend? Not really – after all, Todd was dead. He couldn’t be here with her anymore.
Yet he felt like he was overstepping an invisible boundary.
"Well, brother. I don’t know what to say. You’re not here anymore. She’s lonely, interested and, well, I’m here and you’re not. I wouldn’t be doing this if you were still alive."
Kids came through the doors and scrambled down the stairs for freedom. A weird feeling of being watched came over him. He spun around. He studied the faces of the few people standing around also waiting for friends or rides to appear. No one appeared to notice him.
Still, he couldn’t rid of the feeling that someone watched him.
***
He followed Jessie outside.
"Why can’t you hear me, you stupid idiot? You know how much easier it would be if you’d listen. Then, you never listened to me when I was alive, so why would you now?" Todd sat down on the cement steps and leaned back against a cement wall. Only four feet separated him from his brother, though it might as well have been four miles.
Cassie walked out the front door of the school directly behind Todd and Jessie.
"Hi, Cassie." Todd waved at her, happy to have someone to talk to. A big grin crossed her face as she came toward him. Cassie came to a sudden halt and Todd understood that she’d now seen him…and Jessie. Her smile came again, this time warm and intimate and directed his way. Todd’s heart warmed. "Hi, kiddo. Are you meeting my brother?"
Her smile brightened and she gave an almost imperceptible nod and turned a bit. "Hi, Jessie. Are you ready?"
"Yeah. I wasn’t sure if you’d stood me up."
"Stood you up?" Geesh. He doesn’t know you at all, does he?" Todd grinned at the dirty look Cassie shot him.
She reached down and caught Jessie’s arm, tugging him upright. "If you knew me better you’d know that wouldn’t happen. At least, not unless it was an emergency."
Jessie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and headed down the stairs with her. Todd watched them walk off, laughing together. At the school gates, Cassie turned once to look behind her.
Todd waved. She beamed a smile at him, before walking away.
Todd had never felt so lonely. At the same time, a sense of rightness enveloped him. This was a good thing for Cassie. A sense of completeness hovered at his shoulder. It wasn’t quite time yet, only now he knew that when the time was right, he’d be able to leave. Soon.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Cassie felt like the clock had turned backwards. Laughter and joy filled her heart and warmth filled her veins. Now if only she could stop sighing with happiness every few minutes. She had to sound like complete idiot.
Jessie was so funny. He was a lot like Todd, yet he was his own special self. She no longer accidentally saw Todd in his face. She knew Jessie well enough now to see him for who he was. Her heart no longer wanted to see Todd in Jessie. It made her happy to see Jessie as a separate guy. A guy she'd thought she'd never see in this light. Her relationship with Todd wouldn't have allowed it to happen.
She glanced upward and smiled. Jessie squeezed her arm. "Here we are."
Jessie tugged the door open and let Cassie go in first. At the reception area, Cassie asked, "Could we see Deputy Magnusson, please?"
"I don’t know if he’s in. I can go check. Please take a seat."
"Thanks. He should be expecting us." The woman nodded and left.
Cassie and Jessie wandered the small room. Cassie didn’t want to sit down. She didn’t want to stay very long. This should be a quick stop before dragging Jessie off to try coffee again.
Todd slipped into her mind. She grimaced. That had been too weird coming out of the school and seeing the two of them sitting together like that. Jessie’d had no idea. It had taken a lot of effort to avoid looking like a total moron in front of Jessie, without hurting Todd. This talking to empty air stuff was making her look like a nutcase. Then she remembered Kendra’s comment and sighed. She didn’t need any more comments like that.
An oak door opened on the side wall. Cassie turned to see Deputy Magnusson waiting for her. "Hi again, Cassie. You like to keep your word, I see. That’s good. Come on into my office." His eyebrows raised as Jessie stepped up to her side. "You must be Todd’s brother."
Jessie stepped forward. "Yes, sir." He held out his hand to shake. "I’m Jessie. Todd was my older brother."
"Come on in."
Once in the small office, Cassie and Jessie took seats. Cassie looked at the deputy. "Deputy, the Facebook issue has been solved. I’m sorry for disturbing you on that account."
"What was that about?"
"One of Todd’s old girlfriends knew his account and password and used it to send messages from the dead. More for shock value than anything else."
"Malicious."
"Yes, only she was hurting, and lashed out."
The deputy pondered her face for a long moment before nodding. "Good, that’s one issue resolved. I also found Todd’s cell phone."
Cassie jumped to her feet. "Oh, that’s excellent. Where was it?"
"It was dumped, lost, or dropped on a driveway across the road from where the accident took place." He opened the file on his desk, shuffling through the pages, obviously looking for something.
Tilting her head, Cassie had to consider that news for a moment. "At the old man’s house?"
The deputy nodded. "Anyway, we searched the records and there’s nothing that indicates another person connected with Todd that night, outside of his father, that is."
"We know his father called. He said he asked him to make a liquor store run." Cassie paused and shifted her gaze to Jessie. "The thing is, Todd wasn’t old enough to buy booze, and so we don’t know if he ever did. Or whether someone he knew bought it for him, and therefore could have been the last person to see him alive that night." She took another deep breath. This was it. "We wondered if you could talk to the staff on duty that night and see if they saw anything." The words just gushed out. "They might be able to identify Todd and who he was with."
The deputy sighed and leaned back.
"I know we’re asking a lot. And that we have already asked a lot of you. Please. This one more thing. This one more conversation to make sure we haven’t missed anything? Surely, it’s important to know if the liquor store is
selling to underage kids?" she wheedled. "Todd’s cell phone didn’t make it to the top of that hill on its own." Cassie leaned forward. "Please," she added, "He was a good kid and he deserves for us to try this one more thing."
The deputy jotted down something on a piece of paper. "You are a very persistent young lady."
She gave him her most winning smile. "I’m also a very loyal friend."
Deputy Magnusson glanced between their two hopeful faces, then sighed. "If I do this one last thing we put this to rest. Got it?"