by Cindy Kirk
Cade shot Lindsay an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, things are a little crazy right now.”
“Someone died.” Lindsay’s heart swelled, making breathing difficult. While the nephew she loved was safe, someone else’s child hadn’t been as lucky.
“We have two fatalities.” Cade’s expression remained composed, but she saw the pain in his eyes.
“Sheriff Rallis.” Another deputy, this one standing near one of the ambulances, motioned to Cade.
“I’m glad Braxton is safe.” With a squeeze of her shoulder, Cade strode off.
Lindsay barely remembered the walk to the truck. She remembered only Owen’s supportive hand on her arm.
Owen kept the conversation light on the drive back to town. Only when he’d pulled into her apartment parking lot and shut off the engine did he bring up the accident. “Shouldn’t you call and let Cassie know Braxton wasn’t involved?”
Lindsay shook her head. “She doesn’t know there was an accident.”
“I’m sure she’s heard about it by now.” Owen’s hazel eyes remained hooded. “If she hasn’t, it won’t take long for word to spread.”
“You’re right.” Lindsay pulled out her phone. After a short conversation with her sister, she slumped back against the seat. “Cass had heard.”
“Now she can relax.” Owen reached over and patted her hand. “You can both relax.”
The warm reassurance in his touch had tears clouding her vision. “I was so scared.”
“That’s understandable.” Owen’s voice reminded her of crushed rock over whiskey. “When you love someone, you don’t want anything bad to happen to them.”
“It’s a good reminder how those we love can be here one day and gone the next.” The second she spoke the thoughtless words, Lindsay wished she could pull them back. Who was she to lecture Owen on the importance of making each day count?
He, more than most, knew just how quickly things could change.
“You’re right. There are no guarantees.” Owen’s eyes were somber. “Still, life goes on. In the spring, you and I will welcome a daughter into our lives.”
“Yes.” Lindsay’s lips curved. “Before you know it, she’ll be here.”
“This probably isn’t the best time, but I’ve been wondering what you discovered in your joint-custody research.”
Lindsay stiffened, then recalled her conversation with Eliza. Owen, she reminded herself, was simply being a proactive dad. “I’m happy to go over it with you, but I don’t have my notes.”
He smiled. “The high points will do.”
Tapping a finger against her lips, Lindsay thought for a moment. She mentally brought the research she’d done into some semblance of order in her head. “The main pro was the child has the influence of both parents and both are able to make legal decisions.”
“What about the cons?” Owen’s gaze remained on her face. “You had concerns.”
“It was as we—or rather, as I—thought. The stress of going back and forth can be difficult, especially for small children.”
“Oh.” The word came out on a long exhale.
“But all the articles said shared parenting is becoming the norm.”
Owen slowly nodded. “I appreciate the information.”
“Is joint custody something you’re still planning to pursue?” Though it was difficult, Lindsay kept all judgment from her voice.
“I want to be a strong presence in my daughter’s life. That will never change.” Before Lindsay could ask whether that was a yes or a no, he continued. “But I can assure you that I will never try to take our child from you.”
Her heart suddenly squeezed tight in her chest. Without thinking, she reached over and placed her hand on his arm. “Thank you.”
“Another thing." He paused for a second before continuing. “As we move forward, I’d like to focus on the present and not let what happened in the past impact our current relationship. As much as that’s possible, anyway.”
“Sleeping with you was a mistake.” Lindsay kept her tone matter-of-fact. “It’s funny how in retrospect things that were impossible to see at the time become clear. I mean, you were still grieving.”
It had taken distance and a conversation with Eliza to bring that much-needed clarity.
“We got too close, too fast,” Owen agreed.
She waved a hand. “Totally agree.”
A muscle jumped in Owen’s jaw. “If you’re willing, I’d like us to use the next six months to build on our earlier friendship.”
Though Lindsay knew what he was suggesting would undoubtedly be best for the baby, she hesitated. “How do I know you won’t one day just up and decide we’re getting too close again?”
Owen’s eyes took on a faraway look before refocusing on her. “I won’t make choices based on what might happen in the future, which is what I did in July.”
Lindsay wasn’t certain how that answered her question, but when she opened her mouth to ask, he waved a hand and continued. “You and me, we’ve been given a second chance. Not many people get do-overs.”
There was something in his eyes she hadn’t seen before. A kind of steely determination.
“This time, I won’t blow it.” Owen turned his body to face Lindsay’s, pulling her gaze to his. “What do you say?”
Eighteen
Lindsay’s breath caught in her throat.
Owen stared at her, waiting for her response.
“I want—” Her voice cracked. “I want...”
Swinging her gaze away from Owen, she shoved open the door. “I want to walk.”
She knew what he was asking. He was asking her to put her heart on the line again.
Lindsay thought of all the times she’d condemned Cassie for being a fool over a man. She slammed the car door and mentally offered up an apology to her sister.
“Lindsay?” Owen appeared at her side. His voice, as smooth as honey, broke through her thoughts. “Would you mind if I hold your hand while we walk?”
Instead of saying no—the only sane, responsible answer—she shrugged as if it didn’t matter to her one way or the other. Lindsay knew she shouldn’t let him touch her. Not with her feelings so raw and close to the surface.
The feel of his hand on hers had her heart tripping. His was a strong hand, callused and used to labor, but gentle, too. An image of his callused palm caressing her bare skin sent a sudden shiver up her spine.
As they strolled down the sidewalk, she remembered the intimacy they’d shared. If the number of times they’d made love had been an indication of the depths of his feelings, he’d never have been able to walk away from her the way he had.
Apparently, she wasn’t the only Lohmeier female to confuse lust with love. If it wasn’t so sad, it’d be funny.
Could she trust him now? Could she trust her own judgment?
Logic and emotion wove together in a tight ball, making it difficult for her to tell where one ended and the other began.
There was so much Lindsay wanted to say to him, so much she needed him to understand, but where to begin? It was important to voice her feelings clearly. But with him so close, she was having difficulty concentrating.
Lindsay stopped beneath a large oak and blurted, “Are you proposing this because you hope in the end I’ll agree to marry you?”
Those hazel eyes, framed by dark lashes, didn’t leave her face. “I won’t lie. I believe us being married is the best thing for our daughter. But I also want to build a strong relationship with you.”
“You weren’t interested before.” Lindsay could have cheered when her voice stayed even, giving no indication of her inner turmoil. “I can only assume all of this is because of the baby.”
“Things are different now.”
Lindsay raised a brow at the nonanswer.
“We’re going to have a baby. For her sake, we need to be true partners. Which means knowing and trusting each other.” Owen raked a hand through his hair. “I won’t lie. Letting someone in i
s difficult for me. I’ve spent most of my life never letting anyone get too close. But if you’re willing to give me another chance, I promise I won’t hold back.”
Hold back.
An accurate description of their prior attempt at a relationship.
“I never trusted your feelings for me.” The admission, spoken in the light of day, was somehow freeing. “You broke up with me with no warning.”
The swell of pain told her the wound she thought had scabbed over was still raw and bleeding. “Do you know how that made me feel?”
She didn’t wait for his response.
“It made me feel worthless. It made me feel used.” She spat the words as anger surged.
“That wasn’t my intent. I—”
“Intent be damned. You hurt me, Owen, and now you’re asking me to forget it happened and trust you.”
When her voice broke, she pressed her lips together.
He reached for her then, but she held up her hands and backed away.
Owen’s gaze shifted down the block, to the row of small homes with postage-stamp-sized lawns before returning to her. “Building trust will be an uphill climb for both of us. But I believe it’s worth the effort.”
While he sounded sincere, a tiny voice inside her head—one that sounded suspiciously like her mother’s—told her she’d be a fool to agree.
Was she playing the fool?
“How did you feel after you broke up with Dan?”
Startled by the unexpected question, Lindsay responded without thinking. “Relieved.”
His gaze, strong and steady, remained riveted on her face. “No regrets?”
“None.”
“That’s when you know a decision is right.” He took a step closer, the light breeze ruffling his hair. “When I think back to breaking up with you, I have nothing but regrets.”
She wanted to believe him. Dear God, how she wanted to believe him.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He blew out a long breath. “I got scared. I pushed you away. I’m not proud of how I behaved, and I’d give anything to go back.”
This time when he reached out, Lindsay let him enfold her in his arms. After a moment, she laid her head on his shoulder.. “Is this the right thing, Owen? Or are we just opening ourselves up to more heartache?”
She didn’t expect an answer. Or so she told herself.
“It’s worth the risk.” His arms tightened around her. “It’s definitely worth the risk.”
On Saturday, Owen was convinced he and Lindsay had come to an understanding. They would forge a strong relationship.
One day at a time.
On Sunday, he arrived at church early, eager to see her. When she didn’t show, he texted and discovered she was spending the day with her sister.
Shoving aside his disappointment, he listened with half an ear to the sermon, then went out for breakfast at Muddy Boots. Being surrounded by friends was pleasant, but Owen found himself watching the door, hoping Lindsay would walk through it.
On Monday, he still hadn’t heard from her. Thankfully, things were hopping at the garage. He’d just finished entering a supply order when a knock sounded on his office door.
Owen swiveled in his chair. David Chapin stood in the doorway, ready for business in dark gray chinos and a long-sleeved blue shirt. But then, Owen couldn’t recall ever seeing the architect look anything but professional.
Rising, Owen rounded the desk to greet his friend. “It’s good to see you. What brings you around these parts?”
David jerked a thumb in the direction of the bays. “Oil change and tire rotation.”
“Can I interest you in a cup of coffee while you wait?” Owen gestured to the Mr. Coffee on the side table. “Fresh pot.”
“If I’m not interrupting—”
“I just finished ordering supplies. I could use the break.”
“In that case, I’d love coffee.” David smiled. “I was running late this morning. There was no time to grab a cup before I left home. Brynn is a stickler about getting to school on time.”
“Mindy was the same way.”
An awkward silence descended. Owen shifted from one foot to the other, then gestured to the small round table used for one-on-one meetings with his mechanics. “Have a seat.”
As David pulled out one of the orange plastic chairs, Owen moved to the pot and grabbed two mugs. “Do you like anything in yours?”
“Just black.” David leaned back in the chair. “The stronger the better.”
Owen slanted a glance at the architect as he poured. “Late night?”
David nodded. “Hadley and I were finalizing last-minute wedding stuff.”
“That’s right around the corner.”
“It is.” David’s gray eyes took on a soft glow. “I can’t wait.”
Owen lifted a brow, coffeepot in hand. “Can’t wait for the wedding? Or for it to all be over and done with?”
“Both.” David chuckled. “Though I must say, this time the process has been remarkably free of stress. With Hadley, it’s not about the spectacle, but about celebrating the start of our new life with family and friends.”
As Owen carried the mugs to the table, he wondered if the spectacle comment was a jab at David’s first wedding. People still talked about the open-top tent and fireworks.
David wrapped his fingers around the mug. “I hear you and Lindsay are back together.”
Owen hesitated for a split second. “We are.”
“I never understood why you two broke up. You seem good together.”
Owen shrugged.
“How do you like the cards?”
“Cards?” Owen let the warmth of the mug seep into his fingers.
“Marigold told Hadley that she gave Lindsay the deck of relationship cards.” Owen must have still appeared clueless, because David prompted, “You’d taken the GTO out. You and Lindsay stopped and—”
“Oh, that deck of cards.” Owen hadn’t given them a second thought. He took a long sip of coffee. “Lindsay dropped them in her bag. She hasn’t mentioned them since.”
“Be grateful. Some of the questions can be difficult.” David waved a dismissive hand. “Seriously, the premarital questions are easy by comparison.”
“Do you complete those online?”
“I wish. No, it’s done at the church. In-person premarital counseling is required for anyone wanting to be married at First Christian.” David’s lips lifted in a rueful smile. “It isn’t as bad as it sounds. Dan strongly believes in the importance of identifying potential issues before they become problems.”
Owen chose his words carefully. “Are you and Hadley having issues?”
“Not at all. But I agree it’s important for the bride and groom to look at previous relationships and see where they may have fallen short.” David shifted in the chair. “Otherwise, more than likely, the same behavior will be repeated in the current relationship.”
Though Owen hadn’t known David’s first wife well, he remembered the time she’d brought in her BMW and pitched a fit when they told her the part needed to fix it was on back order. “He’s having you look at your interactions with Whitney?”
“Yes. Be forewarned, if you decide to get married there, you’ll be asked to look at your relationship with Tessa.” David’s gaze grew thoughtful. “Again, not a bad thing. A marriage takes two. When it falls apart, each party has usually contributed in some way.”
Owen gave a reluctant nod. He accepted that he bore some responsibility for the failure of his marriage. “It makes sense that fixing what you can about yourself only makes any future relationship stronger.”
“Hadley said I was inspired by that session.” David chuckled. “I went home and made a list of things I plan to do differently in this marriage.”
“I bet you’d have made those changes anyway,” Owen told him. “Or, they were probably things that wouldn’t ever come up because Hadley isn’t Whitney.”
“Maybe. But reading the items on my list
made me more aware and more determined to be the best husband possible.” David’s gray eyes turned solemn. “We have Brynn to think of, too.”
Owen nodded. “Kids add an extra wrinkle.”
“Hadley and I want Brynn to see what a healthy relationship looks like. It was difficult for her when her mother moved to Florida. You understand. You went through the same thing with Mindy.”
A tightness filled Owen’s chest. Mindy had suffered greatly when Tess had moved out. Then, when his ex-wife had quit coming to visit…
His heart had ached for his daughter each time her mother would say she’d pick her up, then cancel at the last minute. After watching Mindy cry herself to sleep one too many times, he’d told Tessa to stay away.
She’d argued with him, but he’d pointed out she was only hurting their daughter more by waltzing in and out of her life. Tessa had done as he asked.
Owen told himself that had been for the best, but he was no longer sure. Mindy had never stopped missing her mother and hoping for her return.
“I’ve made my share of mistakes,” Owen heard himself say, his voice seeming to come from far away. “They aren’t ones I want to repeat.”
“Do you think you and Lindsay might one day take a walk down the aisle?”
“I’d like to,” Owen admitted. “But after our time apart, she’s not sure she can trust my feelings for her. That’s on me.”
Owen wasn’t sure why he was sharing so much with David. They were, at best, casual friends. Perhaps it was because they’d each had a wife who’d not only left them behind, but left their child, as well.
“Mr. Chapin.” Wayde stood in the doorway, keys dangling from his fingers. “Your car is ready.”
“Thanks.” After the mechanic tossed him the keys, David downed the rest of the coffee and stood. “I can’t believe we spent this entire time talking about weddings.”
“Getting married again is a big step.”
“This time, I have no doubts.” David smiled. “I looked at Hadley this morning and I knew I’d do everything in my power to make her happy. That’s when you know it’s right. When it’s not about you, it’s about them.”