He held her chart in his hand, frowning. “Your blood pressure is better, but still high. With four months left in the pregnancy, we can’t take any chances. I want you home and off your feet for a couple more days. We’ll recheck it then and see how it goes.”
They left her with no alternative. Brandon took her home and put her to bed, where she spent the next few days in total boredom.
Brandon came to see her often, and on the morning of the funeral, he came to her as she was dressing. She noted heaviness around his eyes, as if he hadn’t been sleeping well. She touched his face and gazed into his eyes. They looked so sad.
“Jeffrey’s here,” he blurted out.
“Oh,” she commented, quietly. “I should have guessed he would come. It’s only right.”
“I suppose.”
“I guess I wasn’t dreaming then at the hospital. He really was there?”
Brandon nodded but didn’t reply.
“Well, then, for appearance sake we must welcome him.”
He wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulder. An unspoken solidarity enveloped them. They left to say their final goodbyes to Virginia Phillips.
**********
CHAPTER 33
A large crowd of mourners gathered around the cemetery as Virginia Phillips was laid to rest in a grave next to her husband. The weather was unbearably hot and an uncanny thought struck Jessica; July was a terrible time to die. She watched numbly as Matthew gave the eulogy, and the minister began to bless the grave. Through her grief, she was barely aware of what was going on around her.
She raised her hand above her brows to shield her face from the sun. Her eyes came to rest on Jeffrey, who stared straight at her. He looked down at her midsection, the unspoken truth bearing witness before them. Anger distorted his face. Then she knew, that he knew, whose child she carried.
Instinctively, she stiffened. Brandon, mistaking the gesture for one of grief, pulled her to him.
At last, the service was over. Brandon guided her back to the coolness of the air-conditioned car. They drove the short distance from the graveside in the family cemetery to the house.
“I want you straight up to bed,” Brandon demanded
She didn’t argue. She was bone-tired and depressed.
She entered the room just as Mandy was turning the covers back on her bed.
“I thought you might want a nap when you returned,” she said, smiling.
“Thank you, Mandy. That was thoughtful.”
She must have flown from the cemetery, she thought, as she climbed into the bed, pulled the covers up around her neck, and fell into a deep slumber. She dreamt only pleasant dreams of her baby girl. In one dream, she looked just like Brandon. They were running on the beach and she kept shouting “lantic ocin” and Brandon would laugh, scoop her up, and tickle her. In another dream, they were all at the park. Brandon pushed her on the swing, and then they sat down to a picnic lunch. She threw her arms around them and said, “I wuv you Mommy and Daddy.”
She woke to the sounds of shouting. She couldn’t make out exactly what was being said, but she could make out that it was Jeffrey and Brandon arguing. She jumped out of bed and crept down the stairs. As she approached the library, she saw Jeffrey leave the house. He was angry.
She tiptoed back to her bed. She was just pulling the covers up when Brandon entered. She pretended sleepiness, rubbing her eyes, and pulling herself into a sitting position. “What time is it?”
“It’s late. All our guests have gone home.”
“Oh, no, I wanted to at least make an appearance. Why did you let me sleep so long?”
“You need your rest. The nurse said your blood pressure is up again. I’ve been talking to the doctor. We both think it would be a good idea to take you back to California.”
She sat up quickly and instantly regretted it. Her head pounded and she felt a wave of dizziness pass through her. “Why? I don’t want to go. I have responsibilities here.”
“There’s nothing here that can’t wait. You want what’s best for the baby, don’t you?” He kissed her and she didn’t attempt to argue. “We leave tomorrow morning, right after breakfast.” He left her with the suggestion that she try to get some more sleep.
“I’m sick of sleep,” she said to the closed door. Maybe if she took a stronger stand, Brandon wouldn’t try to make all her decisions for her. Determined to set Brandon straight, she picked up the phone, dialed the kitchen, and informed them she would be coming down for dinner that night.
She then went about the task of finding a suitable gown. She found a long, flowing, black silk gown that diminished the size of her abdomen.
Brandon was surprised when she walked into the dining room and took her place at the end of the table. She could tell he didn’t approve from the look on his face, but she didn’t care. She was mistress of this house now, and she was not about to let Brandon make all her decisions for her.
She looked around the table, searching for any sign of Jeffrey, but he wasn’t present. She hadn’t really expected him to be. Matthew inquired about her health.
She politely informed him, “I’m just fine. You needn’t worry about me. Brandon’s just being overly cautious.”
He didn’t respond, but instead went about the task of attacking his dinner.
Hazel was just old enough to sense the tension in the room, and smart enough not to bring it up. Instead, they spent the entire dinner hour hearing all about how Martha Brick beat her out for the starring role in the school play, only because she had to go to the hospital to visit her grandmother.
“It isn’t fair,” she protested. “I can’t help it that my grandmother was sick and I missed auditions. I practiced hard for that part. Now I’m stuck being the wicked stepmother because nobody else wanted to be her,” she whined.
Indeed, she had practiced hard. Jessica remembered hearing her walk around the house practicing at all hours. She sympathized with her and told her as much.
“I think you would have made a great Cinderella,” Jessica said. “But the wicked stepmother, now that’s a fun role. It isn’t often we get to misbehave and get away with it,” Jessica reminded her.
Hazel hadn’t thought of this and brightened at the suggestion. “I’m going to go and practice my lines,” she chirped, running from the room. At the door, she turned and addressed Jessica. “Thanks, Aunt Jessica. I’m going to be the best wicked stepmother ever.”
She smiled, waved, and her face went white as another wave of dizziness overtook her. She glanced sideways at Brandon, hoping it had gone undetected. It hadn’t.
He frowned at her, and she knew then that all her attempts to make a stand for herself were in vain. She was confident that come tomorrow morning, she, Brandon, and all their packed bags would be on their way to California.
The next day they flew to California. Jessica had to admit, as soon as they touched down at LAX, she felt a sense of relief wash over her. Brandon was here with her and they had made a sort of truce. Jeffrey was thousands of miles away, and she could concentrate all her energy on preparing for the coming of her baby.
A month later, she was glad she had made the trip. She could hardly believe it had been over a month now since they had buried Virginia. They were both becoming excited at the prospect of parenthood. The tension that had begun to grow between her and Brandon eased, leaving her hesitant to confess her secret to him. Time was running out. If she was going to tell him, it had to be soon.
Brandon often went to town on business and spent hours on the telephone with Matthew. But other than that, he was a devoted husband and father-to-be. She felt a twinge of guilt each time he patted her belly and spoke to his baby.
She had begun to think of ways she might avoid telling him. He and Jeffrey looked enough alike that she could pass the baby off as his. However, she was sure Jeffrey suspected the truth; that could be a problem. It wasn’t uncommon for babies to arrive a few weeks early. She was sure she could come up with a beli
evable reason for hers arriving six weeks ahead of schedule.
The doctor would know the truth, but he wouldn’t be able to say anything; he was bound by patient confidentiality. He would probably think less of her, but she wasn’t worried about impressing the doctor.
The plan might force her to admit the truth to Jeffrey, in order to get his cooperation. How would he handle that? Until now, it would only be a suspicion. If she actually had to confess the truth, who knew what he might do. What would he demand in return for his silence?
She hadn’t seen Jeffrey since the funeral. She had no reason to expect to see him again before the birth. For all she knew he was off on another world adventure.
She sighed. No. She had better tell Brandon the truth before he discovered it himself. It would be much harder to face if he caught her in a lie. She would tell him next week, just before they returned to New York.
Feeling positive about this decision, she stood from the lounge chair that she had been having her afternoon tea in, put down her knitting—a hobby her mother had insisted would make her time go faster, but had in fact, only succeeded in frustrating her—stretched, and began to pace around. She was feeling claustrophobic and needed something to release her.
She glanced at the sky, decided there were several hours of daylight left, bit her lower lip in consideration, ran to her room to grab her camera, and fled to the stable.
She asked Justin to saddle Cocoa for her, which he promptly refused to do.
“Mr. Brandon will send me my walking papers if I saddle that horse for you,” he said, nearly begging.
“Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
She grabbed the saddle from the hook and began to struggle with it.
“I don’t think this is a very good idea,” he said, taking the saddle from her and placing it on the horse.
“Don’t worry, Justin. Nothing is going to happen. Brandon’s just being overcautious. I’ll take the blame if Brandon finds out.
“Let me ride along with you. I’d feel much better about that.”
She patted his hand. “I’ll be fine, really. I promise I will only walk. I won’t even attempt to gallop. I know how busy you are here.”
He looked behind him at the pile of shoes that Brandon had asked him to put on the horses before sunset. Jessica saw her opportunity for distraction.
“Hey, how’s Brittney?” she asked, changing the subject.
He grinned. “She’s great. She’s coming in next week. She’s thinking of giving up the modeling all together. We want to get married.”
“Hey, that’s great. She’s terrific. Are you sure she can handle a rancher’s lifestyle?”
He laughed. “You should see her line dance. She took lessons. She loves it.”
She waved and rode out of the stable, chuckling.
She rode for an hour. She knew right where she wanted to go. She had a favorite bluff overlooking the lake, with large boulders that were perfect for sitting and staring out at the vista. Decades before, Brandon’s father had installed a safety rail, but weather and age had weakened it. The last time they were up there, Brandon had made a mental note to have it replaced, but he had not gotten around to it yet. It didn’t matter; she would stay away from the edge.
She stopped the horse and climbed down. She retrieved her camera from her saddlebag and sat down on a boulder. Wildlife often ran through the trees up there, and she was waiting for just the right shot.
She waited for what seemed like hours, but nothing came. She glanced at her watch, saw how late it was getting, and decided she had better return. She took a deep breath of the clean mountain air. It would have to last her until her next visit. She sighed and rose. Turning to leave, she bumped right into something. She stepped back, startled.
“Jeffrey!” she exclaimed.
His eyes burned into her. Her heart began to race.
“Did I startle you?”
She laughed nervously, trying to sound lighthearted. “I didn’t hear you approach. I didn’t even know you were here. When did you get in?”
He ignored the question. He continued to stare at her, unsmiling.
“You looked so beautiful. I didn’t want to disturb you,” he finally said. “I’ve wanted to see you, to talk to you, but you’ve been busy!” He punctuated the last word, making her flinch.
His eyes traveled down to her midsection. She began to panic. This was the first time she had been alone with him since her pregnancy. She suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. She had no idea how he would react to the idea of the baby. She had automatically assumed that any father would want to lay claim to his child.
With trepidation, she slowly began to step toward her horse. “Well, I must get back now. Justin will be worried about me. He’s probably already sent out a search party. She laughed anxiously, and added as an afterthought, “And Brandon, too, if he should arrive home before I return—”
He cut her off. “Cut the bullshit. I know Brandon is not coming home tonight. He’s spending the night in town.”
He pointed at her abdomen. “I think we need to talk.”
“Yes,” she said, willing to say just about anything to get them off the cliff and back to safety. “Not here, though. This isn’t the place for it. Why don’t you follow me back to the house? You can stay for dinner. Afterward, we can talk.”
He took a few steps toward her, forcing her to step back against the railing. In her head, she heard Brandon warning her about the dangers of the cliff, just as she heard the rail crack behind her. She needed to get to her horse.
“You shouldn’t have married him. Why did you marry him? Did you really think you were going to get away with it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. Did you really think you could pass off my baby as his?” he asked as he took another step closer to her.
She was becoming increasingly alarmed, and she began to look around for a way to escape. He stood between her and her horse now. Somehow, she had to find a way to get around him.
“What makes you so sure it’s your baby? I’m married to Brandon. How do you know it’s not his?”
“Do you take me for a fool? Do you think I can’t figure it out in my head? You may think you’re fooling Brandon, but you’re not fooling me.”
He took another step forward. His eyes pleaded. She actually felt sorry for him. She could imagine the isolation of knowing the woman who carried your child inside her had married another man. She could imagine the heartache of seeing another man caressing the pregnant belly. The pain of witnessing him talking to the unborn child would be unbearable. The agony of knowing that each day the child would rise and call another man daddy, would be intolerable.
“No, Jeffrey. I don’t think you’re a fool. You’re right, this is your baby, and I don’t want to shut you out of its life. I plan to tell Brandon the truth. As soon as I do, we can work something out, you have my promise.”
He suddenly became outraged. “Damn him. No, I will not share another thing with him. I have shared all my life. This is my baby. You shouldn’t have married him.”
He had the look of sheer torment, a tortured soul ripped apart from the inside out. She began to cry. His voice became a strain, almost a whisper carried to her by the soft breeze that stirred in the trees.
“You should have married me. You carry my baby inside you, not his. You should be my wife. She chose him in the end, too, although she soon regretted it. All she got out of it was death. Please don’t let that happen to you. You are so beautiful. I couldn’t bear life without you. I couldn’t bear it if Brandon was raising my child as his own. “Please, Jessie,” he pleaded. “Come away with me. It’s not too late.”
He was walking toward her again, pleading with her, arms outstretched. He had tears in his eyes. She didn’t even think he was seeing her anymore. She pushed aside the image of the tortured man and conjured up instead, the image of her rapist.
Slowly, she stepped to the sid
e, inching herself along the curve of the railing. He didn’t alter his step but continued walking to the point where she had been standing.
She only had a few more feet to her horse, a few more feet to safety—to help. She would mount her horse and ride like crazy. She would send back help for Jeffrey. It was clear he had cracked and needed professional help.
“Jessie!”
She swung around to see Jeffrey running toward her, a look of total rage commanded his face.
“Don’t run away from me!” he pleaded. “I need you.”
She turned back around, ran faster as Jeffrey began to close the gap between them. She was no match for his long stride in her compromised condition. Her horse was only inches away now, stomping and prancing in fear.
Jeffrey was screaming in agony. “Jessie! Jessie!”
Instinctively, she turned to look at him and tripped over a small boulder. She felt herself flying through the air. She was only inches away from the cliffs edge. She cried out, pleading with God for her life.
She struck the railing with force. It gave way, breaking in two. She felt herself slide over the edge of the cliff. Something grabbed her foot, but it was too late. She heard a man screaming, and then knew only darkness as her head struck a boulder and consciousness slipped away.
**********
CHAPTER 34
The brightness hurt as Jessica slowly opened her eyes for the first time in two weeks. She shut them tightly against the intruding light. Someone called softly to her. At first, she didn’t recognize the voice, but as it called to her again, recognition set in. She attempted to open her eyes again, a little slower this time, and succeeded.
She turned to face the voice. “Jeffrey?” she whispered.
“Hush,” the voice tenderly said. “You need to rest, darling. We’ll talk later.” She drifted back out of consciousness.
She woke again as Brandon pulled the blankets closer around her chest. She was grateful for the comfort. She was very cold.
Slowly, she began to feel pain surge through her body and moaned.
“Are you in pain?” he asked.
Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) Page 38