“Can I trust you with my life, Liam? If I tell you something, you cannot breathe it to a soul, and you must promise me before I speak. If, once I have told you, you ask me to leave and never to return, I will, but I must have your promise first”.
Puzzled, I nodded. I could not understand what could be so important to D’arcy, but I knew it had to do with Mary, so I wanted to know. D’arcy would not continue until I gave my response, so I softly said “Ye have my oath, D’arcy. Whatever you tell me, I will never tell another”.
D’arcy nodded, but did not speak straight away, instead he began pacing a little, before stopping and facing me.
“Before Edmunds’s marriage to Mary, he was always a disappointment to his father. He was never a strong boy, so I was brought in as a companion in the hope that I could show him how to grow to be a man. But, unknown to his father, we developed feelings for each other, do you understand what I mean?”
I started, feeling shocked at this revelation. I thought I knew, but indicated that D’arcy should continue.
“We did not act on these feelings, both of us trying to deny what was happening between us. Then, Edmund’s father got the idea that if Edmund had a wife, he would have no choice but to be more of a man, or whatever it was his father expected him to be. Mary was chosen because of her age, because Edmund was young himself and his father thought that a young wife would be easier for Edmund to handle. I went home after the wedding, torn up with jealousy at what I thought Edmund would be doing with his new wife, and feeling sorry for Mary at having been sent to that house, but also knowing that Edmund would be kind to her. A few months after the wedding, I returned, only for Edmund to tell me that he was unable to consummate the marriage, but no-one knew. He could not lay with his wife as he was not attracted to her, but he was afraid for both her and for himself if anyone found out, so they had pretended as if they had consummated their marriage. That is why Mary was such a disappointment to her father-by-law, as he assumed that the reason there was never a child was because Mary was barren. Edmund and Mary continued to let everyone think that, and as they really did love each other, in their own way, no-one ever suspected the truth. Anyway, you ask how I could keep my hands off Mary, and it was easy, because I was already in love with Edmund. You probably won’t understand, but that’s how it was”.
“I won’t even pretend to understand how ye can be in love with a man, because I don’t, but I seem to remember ye spending a bit of time with Jenna when ye were last here, and why would ye do that if ye don’t like women?”
“It’s not that I don’t like women, because I do. I loved Edmund, but he is gone now. Put yourself in my place. You love Mary. But if something happened to her, would you be celibate for the rest of your life?”
I flopped on the ground, confused, and shook my head.
“I still don’t understand. I think what I don’t understand is why ye would suggest marrying Mary now, but ye have known her all those years and never….”
D’arcy sat a little way from me, and facing me, seemed to want to try to explain things to me, and as I watched him, I saw him anew. I had been brought up to despise, even fear, men like D’arcy, but I knew him, and knew him to be a good man, so should I think differently of him now that I knew of his secret? All of a sudden, a thought came to me.
“Mary knew, didn’t she? Did ye tell her, or did her husband?”
D’arcy blushed as he spoke, and that amazed me most of all, as I had never seen him do such a thing.
“Mary knew almost from the start. Neither of us told her, she walked in on us and saw us. It was quite embarrassing actually”.
Now I began to blush. If Mary had known from the start, she would have been very young, had she even understood what she saw? At my quizzical look, D’arcy smiled.
“Yes, you understand now, how it was. Mary was so confused, she knew very little about coupling, and didn’t know anything other than what she had been briefly told on her wedding day. I had to explain things to her, things that were very uncomfortable for a young man to tell someone who was barely more than a girl, but I think it made things easier for her in the end – before that I think she had thought there was something wrong with her that caused her husband to be unable to make love to her, once she knew the truth I think she felt a lot better about herself. But you asked about how I could suggest marrying Mary, when we had never had that type of relationship before. It was very complicated. Edmund and I had something special, but once Mary became a part of our secret, it was like we became a little family, because we were all apart from the rest of the house. I was in love with Edmund, as I said, and he was a jealous man himself, which meant that Mary could never be more than a friend while Edmund was alive. Don’t think that the thought of bedding her never crossed my mind though, Mary is, and has always been beautiful, but I met Edmund first ”.
“So what we come back to, is what are yer intentions towards Mary now?”
D’arcy snorted.
“Nothing has changed. She loves you. Mary has waited long enough for some happiness, I would not try to get between the two of you, even if I thought there was a chance for me, which I don’t. I was lucky enough to spend ten years with someone I loved, and to spend the same time with someone I loved dearly as a friend, it is Mary’s turn to have a life with someone she loves, and who loves her in return. What she has with you is far better than what she would ever have with me”.
“So, what about ye? I must admit to still being confused, I thought that men like you only liked, well, other men like you, but clearly I was wrong. I don’t know what to think at the moment”.
D’arcy smiled. I grew uncomfortable at that smile.
“Are you wondering now about what I’ve been thinking about you? About whether I perhaps sneaked a look when we were bathing? Or what I was thinking when you were stripped of your shirt in the lists?”
I stared at D’arcy, my anger rising, and then was dumbfounded as he started rolling around on the ground laughing.
“Oh, you are too easy to tease, Liam. Never fear, Jenna’s virtue was always in more danger from me than yours”. He stood up and looked down at me.
“I appreciate that you have heard me out, and have tried to understand. I know that it is difficult for others to understand, sometimes it is difficult for me as well, but I have long come to terms with who and what I am. Now, I think we have been gone long enough. You have a beautiful wife to get home to, and I have preparations to make for a long journey ahead”.
When we returned to the keep, people were bustling around with their day’s business. Just before we entered, D’arcy paused, holding me back and speaking quietly.
“Liam, I know I asked you to tell no-one, but that doesn’t mean Mary. A husband and wife should not have secrets from each other, but discuss this in private, out of anyone else’s hearing, can you do that for me?”
I nodded, appreciating that D’arcy respected my marriage enough to know that the thought of not being able to talk to Mary about this had been bothering me.
We settled our horses back in the stables, and D’arcy headed to the lists to speak to his men about making arrangements for leaving, while I went in search of Mary. It took a while to track her down, but finally someone was able to tell me that she was in the herb drying room, attending to a minor injury Donald had sustained in the lists. Before entering the herb drying room, I paused on the other side of the door, listening to the conversation. Mary was teasing Donald unmercifully.
“Donald, I still don’t understand how a seasoned warrior like you could have such a terrible lapse of judgement. You must have been horribly distracted by something to let someone get so close to you. Luckily the sword was blunted, or you would have a terrible scar on your pretty face instead of just a small nick and a big bruise like you do. And it is such a pretty face, or at least Eleanor seemed to think. Oh, is that why you were distracted? Were you perhaps thinking that Eleanor might like to see your face again?”
&
nbsp; “Och woman, stop yer teasing. I would never have thought that ye could have such a mean streak. It was just an accident, nothing more”.
I walked through the door at that point. Sure enough, Donald had a cut under his eye, and his eye was almost swollen shut.
“Donald, I am ashamed of ye. Imagine if ye had let someone get that close to ye in battle, they would have cut yer head in two. And what caused this lapse I hear? A woman? Well there’s only one more thing I have to say to ye about that”. As I moved towards Mary and pulled her in for a thorough kiss, I registered the outrage on her face, and the shock on Donald’s. I turned to Donald and continued. “All I have to say to ye is, what are ye going to do about it? It seems to me if there’s a woman bothering ye so much, then the only thing ye can do is go and see if she is prepared to put up with ye for the rest of yer miserable life. It seems to me, yer life would probably last much longer if ye knew where ye stood with this woman, rather than mooning around like a lovestruck puppy over her”.
Mary.
Saying goodbye to D’arcy again was not as difficult as the first time, even though I doubted I would ever see him again. He seemed to have a new purpose in life, and I was happy that he was finally in charge of his own men, instead of before, when he just seemed to have a role as Edmund’s companion. D’arcy had also told me about his idea of making his estate a happier place for everyone who worked there, and I knew that a lot of that was because of the terrors he had suffered in his childhood. D’arcy had been very young when his mother had died, but he had known that she was mistreated by his father. She was very quickly replaced by a second wife, who died under mysterious circumstances after only bearing girl children who died shortly after childbirth. It had been when he had stood up to his father, to stop him beating the woman, when his father had turned on him and beaten him so severely that for a while there was doubt that he would survive. It was shortly after his recovery that he was sent away to Edmund’s family, ostensibly for his development, but D’arcy’s father had frightened even himself by his violence, and wanted to make sure that D’arcy was away and not able to challenge him in future. As much as the old man was a violent monster, he was also a monster who knew he needed an heir, and was afraid that if D’arcy challenged him again, he might lose control and kill him the next time. Little did he know that as D’arcy grew, and learned his sword skills, he could have more than defended himself. While D’arcy was away at the Le Bruin household, his stepmother died, and when he heard the news, it compounded his guilt. While he was happy to be away from the house where he knew only terror and unhappiness, he also believed that had he been there, he might have been able to prevent her death. It was a big burden for such a young man to bear. When my marriage was arranged, he decided to return back to his own home, as he did not want to witness Edmund finding happiness in his marriage, believing that he and Edmund could never explore their love for each other. When his father was contemplating another marriage, he sent D’arcy back to the Le Bruins, with an excuse that he needed more skill with the sword master, but apparently so that D’arcy could not witness any cruelty that the third wife would endure.
D’arcy’s terror came to a head after Edmund died, when he became aware that the Le Bruins were proposing to arrange for me to become Lord Lescelles fourth wife. He had been making plans for us to run away when we were captured by Liam, Donald and their warriors. When his ransom was paid, he considered ignoring it and staying with Liam’s family, but then decided that he could do more good if he returned home, and took his inheritance when his father died. Although it was probably a sin, I was glad that the old Lord Lescelles was now dead. He had terrorized too many people, and had made D’arcy’s life a misery, but all of that was over now. Already I could see the changes in D’arcy. He had always had the potential to be a leader of men, but had not been able to develop this as he was not the son of the household in which he lived. Now he had the opportunity to not only live the life he deserved, but to make a difference in other people’s lives. While I was happy that D’arcy was finally getting to live the life he deserved, I was also sad, for myself. I would miss him. I was happy in my new life, with my new family, and with my wonderful husband, but it would be hard to say goodbye to D’arcy, knowing that we would probably never meet again.
Liam was a tower of strength, and although I thought I knew him well enough by now, he still had the capacity to surprise me. I knew that Liam had been concerned about my feelings for D’arcy, and yet when it came time to say goodbye, he stood beside me, embracing me as if he wanted to give me some of his strength. What he did next, in front of his family, surprised me. He gave me a little push towards D’arcy.
“Stop dithering woman. Ye know ye want to give yer friend a hug goodbye. While I should not be happy about ye being in the arms of another man, I think just this one time I can be a bit less jealous of ye than I should be. Say goodbye properly, and let D’arcy know how well ye are both doing”.
D’arcy leaned in and gathered me in a big hug, almost squeezing the life out of me as he whispered his goodbye into my ear. I put my arms around him and squeezed back, thanking him for being such a good friend to me over the years. D’arcy put me from him, and looked over my head towards Liam.
“You are a lucky man, Liam, and I know you know it”.
Without another word, he gave me a kiss on the forehead, straightened, and took a few strides to his horse before mounting it, nodding goodbye to us all before turning and leading his men away.
I watched them go, leaning into the quiet support of Liam’s strong body, and then turned to look up into the strong face of my husband.
“Thank you Liam, for your understanding. Not every man would have stood by and watched his wife embrace another man like that”.
Liam looked down at me, putting a crooked finger under my chin and bending down to brush a light kiss over my lips.
“Anything for ye Mary. I know it’s me ye love as a husband, but I know that D’arcy holds a special place in yer heart. It would have been cruel of me to pretend otherwise”.
Later that night as we prepared for bed, Liam seemed quiet. I nestled against his strong body, enjoying the feel of his hand idly rubbing my arm, before asking him why he seemed so preoccupied. Liam drew a deep breath then turned his head to look at me before answering.
“I spoke to D’arcy before he left. He told me about yer husband and himself, and that ye knew all the time. That must have been very difficult for ye Mary, living without love all those years”.
At first I was shocked, not only that D’arcy had told Liam, but that Liam seemed so unperturbed by the news. I knew that very few people would have listened to what D’arcy had to say, and still to have treated him no differently afterwards. Liam’s acceptance of my friend confirmed what I knew about him – he was not only a good man, but was prepared to accept people as they were, without judging them as so many people would have.
“But I did have love, Liam. Not the same as what you and I have of course, but both Edmund and D’arcy loved me in their own way”.
“It’s not really the same, Mary, and ye know it. Ye are a passionate woman, it must have been very difficult for ye to see them together, knowing that they loved each other, and no matter how much they might have loved ye, ye were on the outside of their love, and ye deserved someone to love ye for yerself, and for ye to be the most special person in someone’s life”.
I raised myself on one elbow as I looked into Liam’s eyes.
“But Liam, no-one could have loved me like that, because I hadn’t met you yet”.
With a smile and a growl, Liam pulled me over until I was on top of him, kissing me urgently as he surged upwards and entered me in one strong thrust, using his hands on my buttocks to steady me as he thrust upwards into me with a fierceness I rarely saw. Later, when we were both lying beside each other, trying to catch our breath, Liam rolled to his side, throwing an arm and a leg over me so that I couldn’t have got out of our bed, ev
en if I had wanted to.
“Sometimes, woman, ye say the most amazing things. Every time I think I couldn’t love ye any more than I do, ye say something like that and make me love ye a little more”.
I smiled to myself and then decided to see if I could rile Liam up a little more.
“I don’t know Liam. You say that you can love me a little more, but I think after that last effort, you might have trouble doing any better”.
Liam raised his head and stared at me for a moment, then his eyes twinkled as he saw the half smile on my face.
“Daring me, are ye? Think I’m not up to loving my wife twice in one night?”
As I chuckled, Liam rolled over onto me, and showed me just how wrong that idea was.
Liam.
Mary would be the death of me. As time wore on, and her belly grew bigger, I wanted to stop making love. After Rose’s rejection of me, I was completely unprepared for Mary’s increased appetite for me in our bed. She assured me that it was normal, that often women in the early stages of pregnancy often wanted to lie with their husband’s more often, and I was not in any mood to refuse her. For all the women I had bedded before Mary, I realised that I had been wasting my time. Nothing compared with the pleasure I found in Mary’s body, and that she found in mine. I must admit that it made me puff up even more with pride when Mary fell apart in my arms, her tight little channel squeezing my shaft as she panted my name in the throes of her ecstasy. It was the evidence of her pleasure that was often the thing that drove me over the edge, causing me to lose myself as I spilled my seed inside her, not needing to be careful about that now that there was no doubt that she was pregnant.
Also what became obvious, was that I could no longer rest my weight on Mary’s body due to her growing belly. We became quite inventive, trying out many positions which would not make Mary uncomfortable, with the added benefit that some of the positions allowed for different pleasures. I particularly liked to get Mary onto her hands and knees, her pert little arse in the air, and thrust into her from behind, reaching places I could not reach from any other position. Mary, on the other hand, seemed to prefer to push me onto my back, and climb on top, trying to get me to let her take control of our lovemaking. At first, I would let Mary control the pace, reaching up my hands to fondle her growing breasts, but no matter how I resolved to let my Mary have her way with me, I would always end up thrusting upwards with my hips trying to match her downward thrusts, trying to wring the most pleasure out of each encounter for the both of us.
Taken by a Highland Raider Page 18