"Let's start from the beginning then and we'll see where we go from there." It pisses me off that no matter how much I vent at him, he still remains as calm and collected as ever. I guess the sooner I get this over with the better. I sit down on the sofa and I can feel his eyes burning into the inner depths of my blackened soul. My body is all rigid from the built up tension, my jaw working overtime and I try to regulate my breathing by inhaling some sharp deep breaths.
"How are you feeling at the moment?"
"Seriously? Like a fucking knob Don. You know I don't want to be here so let's get on with it hey?" As soon as I'm done here I'll be hitting the surf. Why have I fucking come here anyway?
"Angry, frustrated? I can't help you if you're not prepared to help me Max. How about a trigger? Is there anything that could have happened to set these feelings off again?"
"Heaps of shit that I've let build up over time. The past few weeks have been one hell of a roller coaster to say the least." I knew my decision to go back to England was reckless but I thought I could control everything now. Don remains seated in his chair, analysing me while making notes in his file.
"I went home." I say on a defeated sigh. His head snaps up at my words.
"Home?" He says curiously, all note taking forgotten for a moment.
"Yes, home. Well the one true place that I first called home anyway. Mal, you remember my uncle Mal? Well he runs a property business back in England and I've been asking him to come over here for years to work with me."
"I see. The creativity obviously flows through the genes. So what happened when you were there? Is this when the memories and feelings returned?"
"Oh some fucking feelings were present alright, but nothing that I couldn't handle."
"Go on..."
"I'd rather pass on that Don." There is no way that I am bringing Jess into this if I can help it. No one else needs to know what happens with us but us.
"You know the steps Max. Start at the beginning and work your way up."
"Do you know what? Fuck this. Talking about it isn’t going to do shit. I knew it was a bad idea, but I needed to try it." I get up and storm out of the room without a backwards glance and almost knock Sasha out in the process as the fire door slams against the wall.
"Hey Max, wait." I hear her call after me. I stop and turn to see her sauntering towards me. She's still as beautiful and breath-taking as I remember but on closer inspection she seems to have lost her spark along the way. "I never expected to see you back here that's for sure."
"That would make the both of us then. What's with you? I never had you down as they type to stick around here for long either?"
"What can I say?" She laughs. "I guess the place must have grown on me after all. Plus Don's a good guy." She looks up at me from under her eyelashes, displaying that come to bed with me look that I know only too well. A few months ago I probably would have played along with her, a nice good easy distraction to take my mind away from the constant bullshit that’s suddenly occupying it. But now? Now I have to get my shit together and sort my fucking head out. I need to prove to myself and to Jess that I can be the man that she deserves.
"Well it's been good seeing you Sash. I hate to do this but I've gotta shoot. Tell Don I'll rearrange some other time when my heads not so jumbled." I feel her hand rest on my arm just as I turn to leave for the second time.
"Maybe we could grab a coffee, talk about it?"
"Maybe some other time? Now's really not a good time to be dragging up shit from the past." I should have seen this one coming.
"Okay. That's fine, I get it. How about you call me when you feel up to it?" I nod in her direction, anything to get out of here in one piece, yet I know that I have no intention to call her whatsoever. Call me a cold hearted bastard all you want, but it is what it is. I’ve found my angel and she’s all that I want. If I can’t have her then I don’t want anyone else as no one could come close to her, not in a million fucking years.
My lungs welcome the fresh air as if I have been starved of it and my head slowly begins to feel a little relived from the pressure that was there a few moments ago. Maybe I shouldn't have returned to Australia. Maybe I should have stayed with Luke and started all over again. If I have learnt anything over the last few weeks then it's that England is home. England is where I feel like the true Max. The guy that I have always wanted to be but the mother fucking demons inside of me have prevented him from shining through.
Maybe I have made a massive fucking mistake in coming back? Maybe coming back has opened the can of worms that I don’t seem to be able to get rid of.
Jess
"Green or orange? Oh, maybe this red one would be better?"
"How about you close your eyes and pick one at random?" I suggest to the very indecisive Melissa sat opposite me. She's been bloody sat here deciding what polish she should choose for the past hour. How bloody hard can it be?
"But the blue’s really pretty too."
"For fucks sake Liss, just choose one." I laugh at her as she pulls a sour face at me. I know she has missed out on having female company for a few years but this is taking the piss. "Here, this one will suit your complexion." I pass her the purple one and a mega-watt smile spreads across her face. I could get used to having a salon and spa in the workplace.
I arrived at the office to find that Melissa had already booked us in for a full afternoon pamper session. Bless her heart, she'd even rescheduled all of today's meetings too. Apparently she was very much entitled to so and according to her Max would agree so who was I to argue?
"Personally I'm just getting a mani and pedi, that right there makes me a happy girl. Please tell me you've decided what you're going to wear?" I dread the answer that is about to come from her mouth. I retract my previous statements. This girl isn't like Jen at all, she's bloody worse.
"No. Have you?"
"Erm, I kind of hopped on a plane without much variety. I should be here working not going out to parties."
"Oh shut up moaning. Let your hair down for once. Plus it's your boss' party anyway."
"Maybe my lovely housemate could kindly loan me the use of her wardrobe?" I say while fluttering my eyelids and flashing her my most innocent smile.
"Only." She points her finger at me, "If I get to choose." I agree, not sure if I'm going to live to regret this. But I need something to wear and fast.
"Don't look so horrified Jess. You'll look fucking hot and you know it."
We spend most of the afternoon lounging around in the spa. It’s becoming quite habit and I may need to watch I don’t get addicted to this place, yet right now I have no intention whatsoever of moving anytime soon. At least not until I hear the high pitched cackle of the she-demon.
"Oh well. Don't we look cosy, sat down here doing nothing?" Her tone is laced with sarcasm and has my back up instantly. I wish she would just piss off once and for all. Before I get my say, Melissa pipes up.
"What do you want Stella? Not even all the cosmetics in here are going to do you any favours love." The ice in Melissa's eyes is clear to see and I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees her for what she really is.
"I would like to know why my staff are down here having a jolly good time while I'm busy picking up the pieces."
"Your staff? Don't make me laugh. Did Max hand all of this over to you too when your imaginary relationship started? What's up Stella? Do you not think that me and my brother talk? Oh and a little FYI, you're the one who clearly isn't doing your job as the amazing glorified secretary that you are, because if you were then you would have noticed that there is nothing in the diary today."
I watch as Stella's eyes narrow as Melissa sing songs all of this too her. Finally her eyes land on me, pure cold anger is staring back at me. Well that feeling is mutual.
"I told Max not to hire you."
"Excuse me?" I finally say after the shock of her hurling that at me slowly sinks in. "Who Max employs is none of your business." I reply but she ignores me as if
I haven't spoken.
"Melissa, you're shocking at what you do. The only reason why you are here now is because you’re Max's little sister and he feels sorry for you. Yes me and your brother also talk you know."
"... And why are you here exactly?" My chest aches at the pain that is suddenly in Melissa's voice at Stella's words. I don't believe any of it. Not for a bloody second. Anyone can see how much Melissa means to Max and he’s not the type of person to have someone hanging around just because he feels sorry for them. Family or not.
"Because Max needs me. He always has and he always will."
"Fuck off Stella. You’re one delusional cow. How does he need you? He's never needed anyone in his life. Well, until she walked into his life anyway." Melissa points her finger in my direction and Stella looks at me as if really seeing me for the very first time and she remains deadly silent. "Oops... Did your loveable Max not tell you that he and Jess have sorted everything out now, No? Well that's a mighty shame. I guess you won't be able to play your bullshit games with people’s lives anymore will you? Maybe next time you need to try a little bit harder Stella."
"You would do well to remember who you are speaking to Melissa, especially when you start to hurl out allegations."
"Oh piss off. Why are you still here? Max is never going to want you so deal with it instead of hanging around like a desperate fucking woman that can't get laid. It's embarrassing."
I just sit here and watch them bouncing off each other and it takes everything I have to remain seated. If I thought Stella was a bitch before then today has only confirmed it. I really didn't think it was possible for someone to dislike Stella as much as me, but Melissa is doing pretty good job. Needless to say, it's not long before Stella turns on her designer clad heels and storms off to only god knows where.
I decide to head back up to the office before we leave just to see if I have any important emails that need singing off for the day. After my pamper day all I want to do is sleep but I know that Liss will never let that happen. Just as I exit the lift I see that beautiful face looking back at me. The pure image of him all suited and booted causes shivers of excitement to course through my body and my heart begins to race. I stop dead in my tracks which in turn caused Melissa to crash into the back of me.
"Seriously guys, can you stop fucking each other with your eyes for a few minutes. It's sickly."
I feel my face heat over at her words but the chemistry that is still between us is evident. He stands facing me, Melissa's words having no effect on him whatsoever. His eyes search mine and I have to fight to stop my hands from reaching out to touch his ruffled hair. Desire pours from him and he doesn't even try to hide it. Shitting hell this man is bad for my health.
Melissa's clears her throat to try and break the connection between us and I just about make out her words. "Guys come on; this really isn't cool for me to see."
"So you finally decided to pull your lazy arse to work then?" Max says. At first I think he's talking to me but then his eyes reach Melissa's and I can't help but feel confused. To be honest it doesn't take all that much these days, it’s like a regular occurrence.
"I thought I'd get out of the house for a bit, you know stretch my legs and all that?"
"What do you mean?" Both heads turn in unison to look at me.
"After all this time you and still haven't told her hey?" A huge mischievous grin dances across Max's face. Obviously he feels like he now has something over Melissa and now I am curious to know what that is. "Melissa here is your or should I say was your unruly personal assistant. Not that she's assisted you much on the work front anyway."
"Seriously?" I look to Melissa to gage some kind of reaction from her. How could she have kept this from me? I don't mind doing the work that I have done so far, I'm used to going solo and I love it that way, but I guess it would have been nice for her to tell me if she didn't want to do it. "Why haven't you told me?"
"Hey... I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it in the first place. Come on, would you work with that fucking dragon full time? It was a nightmare while Max was away." Well she has a pretty valid point on that front, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel hurt that she kept this from me.
"I expect you to be here on Monday Liss. The time that you have had off can be classed as a holiday." I say to her and Max chuckles beside me. My heart swells a little at this, knowing that he approves of my ways. He really is something else.
"You're going to be a fucking nightmare to work for aren't you?" She asks which makes Max laugh even more
"No, not at all." I smile back at her and right in this moment I know that she's going to bloody hate me.
After raiding Melissa's wardrobe for the evening I decide to settle in some simple yet sexy black skinny jeans. I'm immensely thankful that my arse just about squeezes into them without an overhang. I team this with baby blue patent heels and a floaty blue top which shows off my curves in all the right places. After toying with my hair for the past half an hour, I decide to leave it down and straighten it for a change in the hope that I give off the casual look. My make-up is kept simple with nudes but I add my fail proof red lipstick which never fails to draw attention to my already generously sized lips.
I'm excited to see Mal and Daisy in their new home but I'm nervous as hell about bumping into Max. I know the whole Stella situation has been dealt with but something about me getting close to him causes me to panic. I just hope that as soon as I've got a drink in me I'll start to calm down.
"Fucking hell Jess. Are you trying to out my brother in hospital? I think we've had enough heart attacks in this family girly don't you?"
"Shit, is it too much? I was aiming for casual.” I say as I wander into the living room.
"Nothing about you could ever be causal. You look hot as hell." Suddenly I feel very self-conscious and begin tugging at the hem of my top. "You look fucking amazing, quit messing okay." She pulls my hand away from my top and gives me a stern look. A look that scarily has Max written all over it.
"Is Heath going to be there?" I ask trying to change the subject.
"You bet he is. He'll most likely be with Max all night so I'll have to admire him from afar. Plus neither of us want to raise any suspicions."
"Do you really think he'll care that much if you tell him? Maybe he'd be more pissed with the fact that you kept it from him."
"I'm not even going to give that a fucking response." They've got to be overreacting. Yes I get the whole protective big brother scenario, but this is going a little too far, even for a control freak like Max. From what I have learnt so far it seems that all Max has wanted is for someone to look after her and who better than his pal?
While Liss finishes off touching up, I draw out my phone from my clutch and type out a quick message.
I miss you like crazy. X
"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Max
This house still feels fucking empty. I spent years designing the perfect home where I'd feel comfortable and what for? What used to feel like my perfect getaway now feels void of anything. It's like a show home. It looks fucking good, but what use is that if I don't enjoy being here anymore? The place feels bare, it's far too quiet, something that I used to thrive on after a busy day and dare I say it, now it all feels fucking pointless. I have all this space with nothing but me to fill it. Space also used to me my thing but now my heads getting more and more fucked up there more time I spend here alone. I need to find a way to get Jess to come back to where she belongs. With me. I don't like knowing that she is more comfortable with Liss than she is here with me.
Fuck my life and what it's become.
Setting my Cadillac into park, I look out at Mal's new house. He sure seems happy here and that in itself makes me happy. It's all I've ever wanted to try and repay him in someday for everything that they have done for me and Liss over the years. They have both been there for us, no matter what and to see them happy gives me a sense of pride that maybe, just maybe,
I have done something worthwhile in this life.
Tonight, I really need to talk to Jess. I need to know what is happening with us and if she feels like it’s worth giving it another shot. I know that I have fucked up so far, but the Stella issue was purely bad timing of a fucked up situation and I’ve explained that to Jess.
Jess
"Oh what do you know? My so called daughter finally answers her goddamn phone to mummy dearest." My mother’s voice echoes down the line and I can tell she is drunk from the slurring of her words.
"Hi mum. What's up?" I say sharply. I can't help the snap in my tone even though I try my best to hide my irritation. Holding my finger up, I signal to Melissa that I'll only be a minute.
"I don't see you anymore Jessica. Why don't you bother to call me? You’re supposed to be my daughter or are am I not good enough for your fancy life anymore?" Oh god. Here we go. As soon as alcohol touches her lips the world and everyone is suddenly against her.
"You know why I don't call you anymore mum. You made it pretty clear last time we spoke that you wanted nothing to do with me. I believe your exact words were that you wished me dead." At my words, Melissa's head whips around to face me, causing her unruly curls to bounce a few times. I just shrug at her to try and remove the outrageous look she has on her face.
"What is it with you? Every fucking thing always has to be about you don't it? You’re just like your father you know? Only out for yourself in this world and you don't care who you hurt in the process."
"Well it's been lovely taking to you mum as always. I've got to go." I desperately want to get her off this phone. Normally I'd be okay to deal with it, but I know that Melissa is stood before me all I want to do is cry. My hands begin to shake as I press the end call button on my phone and I bite my bottom lip to prevent the tears that threaten to fall. After everything, she still has ten audacity to blame me because dad walked out on us. I understand that she's still hurting, I completely get it but jeez, she's never tried to let go. Instead hate and anger have been bubbling away inside her ever since and all she can do is spit her poison. Not to mention that my mother can hold a grudge for a bloody long time. I wouldn't mind but I haven't spoken to her for months, so why is she suddenly calling now after all this time?
Fallen Down Under (Down Under #2) Page 6