For all of her talk about finding a home in Seagull Point, he wasn’t sure she genuinely believed herself capable of settling down. Nor was he sure if she saw that owning a small town bed-and-breakfast could compensate for the glamour of running elegant intercontinental hotels. He suspected she still saw this as a project to tide her over a rough patch in her life and viewed him as an intriguing distraction. He would just have to convince her otherwise.
He bought the fanciest bottle of champagne he could find, scrounged up some caviar from Helen’s well-stocked pantry and made a quick trip to the finest jeweler in Richmond. He waited until dusk, when the air was soft and still with only the twinkle of fireflies lighting it. Then he went looking for Gracie in her brand-new third-floor office, where she had taken to ending the day.
She took one look at him with his tuxedo pants and fancy pleated shirt and her mouth dropped open. Instantly, wariness darkened her eyes.
“Going to a party?”
“Bringing one,” he corrected, holding up the tray laden with champagne, glasses, and caviar.
“What’s the occasion?”
“I told you this morning that I wanted to talk to you.”
“It must be something pretty important if you’ve gone to all this trouble to butter me up.”
“Just trying to point out the benefits of having a man around to see to your every whim.”
“And you think my whims include champagne and caviar?”
“Don’t they?”
“Sometimes, I suppose.”
He grinned. “Name another one then. I’m flexible. I can improvise.”
“Kevin, what’s really going on?” she demanded, her expression more guarded than ever.
“I’m trying to set a mood, darlin’.”
“Why?”
“So you’ll hear me out.”
“Kevin, you don’t have to go to all this trouble just to get my attention.”
“Too much?” he inquired. “What put me over the top? The caviar?”
The tight line of her lips eased into a slow curve. “I’d have to say the tuxedo. It made me feel underdressed.”
“That’s why I left off the jacket and the tie.”
“My shorts and T-shirt are no match even for what’s left.” She wiggled her bare toes. “I don’t even have shoes on.”
“I think you’re beautiful just the way you are. And that red polish on your toenails is sexier than shoes.”
“And I think you’re full of it. Would you just get to the point. You’re making me nervous.”
He moved to the window and beckoned to her. “Come over here by me.”
Barefooted and clearly reluctant, she slipped up beside him. He tucked an arm around her waist. “Look out there. What do you see?”
“The river.”
He nodded. “That river will take you anywhere you want to go if you follow it far enough. It’ll carry you into the Chesapeake Bay, into the Atlantic, all the way to Europe.” He gazed down into her eyes. “If you want to go.”
“I’ve told you before, this is where I want to be.”
“Forever?”
She hesitated for the space of a heartbeat, long enough to make his pulse thud dully.
“I think so,” she said eventually.
“Then marry me,” he said. “Commit to me, to staying here. If the lure of the river ever gets to be too much, it’ll always be there, ready to take you wherever you want to go. We can always go together.”
She sighed and turned to rest her head against his chest. He felt the dampness of tears soaking his shirt, touching his skin. A cold, wrenching fear swept through him then. He was going to lose her.
“I can’t,” she said, confirming his fear. “I can’t make that kind of commitment.”
“Tell me five good reasons why we shouldn’t get married,” he demanded, angered not so much by her words—he’d anticipated them—but by the aching emptiness left in their wake. He hadn’t expected to feel so panicked by her refusal.
“I could give you a thousand,” she countered.
“I’ll settle for one.”
“Ambition,” she said readily. “I have it. You don’t.”
Ambition? That was it? It might have amused him if she hadn’t been taking it so seriously. “I thought you’d stopped worrying about climbing the corporate ladder,” he said.
“What made you think a thing like that?”
“Have I missed something? Are you planning on running this little bed-and-breakfast of yours long distance? Maybe from France? Were you planning on having Aunt Delia cooking and straightening up after everybody while you raced back to be at Max’s side?”
“Of course not.” She hesitated. “I guess the truth is, though, I haven’t really thought much beyond getting the doors open the first weekend in September. I just assumed, well, that I’d take things as they come. One day at a time.”
She seemed totally bemused by how little thought she’d given to tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. Nothing she might have said could have given him more hope. He regarded her with approval. She was coming along very well, after all. He only needed to give her a little more time and she would see how well suited they were. His day-by-day philosophy was taking hold nicely.
“Seems to me that’s evidence you’re getting to be almost as laid back as I am,” he told her.
She seemed shocked by the assessment. “That can’t be.” She regarded him worriedly. “Can it?”
“Looks that way to me.”
“Then why are you asking me to plan a whole future? You never think that far ahead.”
“Because it’s time, Gracie. For both of us. I love you. I think you love me. Marriage is what people in love do.”
“But I still haven’t figured out when you work,” she said a little plaintively.
“I get most of it done when I can’t sleep for thinking about you.”
“I keep you awake nights?” She seemed very pleased by that.
“Darlin’, it’s a wonder I’ve caught a wink of sleep since the day we met. I figure the only way I’ll ever catch up is for you and me to get married.”
She laughed at that. “Now there’s a romantic proposal if ever I’ve heard one.”
He grinned unrepentantly. “I suppose we could go on sleeping together instead. That would probably solve the problem every bit as well. In fact, we could get up to speed right now in that fancy new honeymoon bedroom you just decorated downstairs. Somebody ought to test it before you take in your first paying guests.”
“Nice try,” she said, but her heart wasn’t in it. In fact, she seemed distracted.
He studied her worriedly. “Gracie? What’s really going on? Talk to me.”
“Nothing,” she said, and wandered off without giving him a chance to ask her any more uncomfortable questions.
Fighting disappointment, Kevin let her go. He’d been thinking about marrying Gracie for a long time now, ever since Aunt Delia and half the town had begun planting the idea in his head. He supposed Gracie deserved a little time to get used to the idea.
There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she hated the idea at the moment. Hated it almost as much, in fact, as he’d disliked this scheme of hers to go into business with Aunt Delia. Not that that was working out too badly, something she liked to point out to him on a regular basis. Those two were like two peas in a pod, a couple of born conspirators. No wonder Delia had been so taken with Gracie from the moment they’d met.
Living with Aunt Delia had never been dull. Marrying Gracie promised to be equally rewarding. More so even, if you threw in the way she aroused him without half trying.
Besides, Gracie was the only woman—the only person—he knew who didn’t need anything from him. Her independence was her best—and scariest—trait. Until he’d spoken with his grandmother, he hadn’t had a clue about where he’d fit into her life if she didn’t have to rely on him the way everybody else in his family did. Now it all made sense to him.
Even when she’d been scurrying away, anxious to escape the pressure of having to say yes or no to his proposal, he’d seen a hint of longing in her eyes. Gracie wanted what he was offering. He knew it. It just terrified her, the same way it did him. Committing to forever was a risky business.
So he’d give her the time she needed to think it over and evaluate it, do a damned cost-benefit analysis if that’s what she needed to do. If she came up with any more rational objections, he’d counter them. After all, he had love on his side, and rumor had it, especially among a certain group of Seagull Point gossips, that love conquered all.
26
There wasn’t a single moment all through August when Gracie wasn’t a hundred percent aware of Kevin watching her, and waiting for an answer to his proposal. Not even the thousand last-minute details for opening the bed-and-breakfast and planning Bobby Ray and Marianne’s wedding served as much of a distraction.
To his credit, though, he didn’t push. Whether it was a tactical decision or just more evidence of his take-life-as-it-comes way of living, she was grateful for it.
She wanted to say yes. Oh, did she ever. But Seagull Point was such a far cry from the life she’d envisioned for herself, the life she’d worked so hard to attain. She felt as if she were betraying her dream, drifting into something because it was comfortable and easy, when she’d always, always wanted a challenge.
Was that the real problem? she wondered. Did she want to have to battle for Kevin’s love, the way Marianne had had to wait and fight for Bobby Ray’s? Was Kevin making it all too easy for her, the same way he smoothed over rough patches for everyone else?
“That’s absurd,” she muttered. Perverse, in fact.
“Talking to yourself?” Helen inquired, sneaking up behind her. “That’s definitely a bad sign.”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize anyone else was around.”
“Which must be why you had only yourself left to talk to,” Helen retorted. “Now that I’m here, want to talk to me? For all of my chatter, I can also be a pretty good listener.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s Kevin.”
“No,” Gracie insisted sharply. “It’s the reservations and the wedding and the fact that the rest of the beds were due this morning and still aren’t here.”
“Quick excuses,” Helen praised. “You’re good at avoiding the real problems, aren’t you? Is that what you’ve always done? Filled your life with so many details and crises, you didn’t have time left over to deal with your own life?”
Hearing the truth startled her. It also stung more than Gracie would ever have admitted. She busied herself with the stack of reservation slips that Delia had filled in over the past week. That Helen had seen through her so easily was a shock. No one had ever taken the time to look beyond her surface calm and competence before.
“I’m not judging you, you know,” Helen persisted. “I can relate to exactly what you’re doing, because it’s what I’ve always done. It’s been worse since Henry died. I was in so much pain I couldn’t stand it, so I filled my days with shopping and charity events and parties. I was so busy I thought I must be happy. It was only after I met Max that I realized what had been missing.”
“Love?” Gracie asked.
“Love,” Helen agreed. “And, every bit as important, someone to share things with. What fun is it to buy a gorgeous dress if there’s no one around to appreciate it? How rewarding is it to hand over a few thousand dollars to charity or even raise a few hundred thousand if there’s no one at home to remind you that it’s the people, not the dollars, that count? And who wants to go to a party if there’s not going to be someone to laugh with you afterward about the drunken guests’ tasteless jokes?”
Helen met Gracie’s gaze directly, then sighed. “I don’t know about you, but I miss the companionship as much as I miss the sex. I miss having someone sleeping beside me at night and looking at me across the breakfast table. I miss the tenderness, the quick, heated glance across a crowded room, the shared confidences, the stolen kisses when you think no one’s looking.”
“You’ll have all that again,” Gracie told her, praying that she hadn’t misjudged Max’s intentions the last time they’d spoken. He’d sounded as if he’d reached a decision about Helen.
“Yes, you will,” a masculine voice assured them both in one of the best bits of timing ever.
Both turned startled gazes on the sight of Max standing in the doorway. Gracie thought the always self-assured Max looked a bit uncertain of his welcome. She could have told him he needn’t have worried.
“Darling, I had no idea you were coming,” Helen said, rushing over to brush a kiss across his cheek.
Max shot an apologetic look toward Gracie, then swept Helen into his arms and kissed her soundly. When Gracie started to slip past them, Max snagged her hand.
“Stay for this, please. It’s important and I want a witness.”
“Witness to what?” Helen demanded, not leaving his embrace.
“I want someone around to see if you will put your money where your mouth is. Marry me, Helen. Let me give you back all those things you were telling Gracie you missed.”
“You were eavesdropping?” Helen demanded, ignoring the proposal.
“It’s the only way to find out what’s going on in that head of yours,” he said. “You’ve been amazingly reticent with me on the phone lately. So, darling, what’s it going to be? Will you marry me?”
Helen searched his face. “You’re serious? This isn’t just an impulsive gesture.”
Max smiled ruefully. “I don’t make impulsive gestures,” he assured her. “Ask Gracie.”
Helen grinned. “I believe she has mentioned that once or twice.”
“Well, then. Will you marry me?”
Eyes shining with tears, Helen didn’t hesitate. “Yes. Oh, Max, yes.”
This time when Gracie tried to leave the room, no one tried to stop her.
All around her people were saying yes and preparing to walk down the aisle. So what was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she take that same leap of faith when her love for Kevin was so powerful she ached with it? She was sure of it, sure of the kind of man he was. Maybe her reluctance was because, like Max, she was not inclined to impetuous decisions.
Yet everything she had done since coming to Seagull Point had been impulsive. She wandered into the almost completed kitchen, where the new appliances gleamed and the glass-fronted cabinets were filled with elegant china and sassy everyday plates covered with bright, bold flowers. The contradiction wasn’t lost on her. It was as if the dishes matched the two sides of her personality—one cautious and old-fashioned, the other daring. She was just discovering the joy of being daring once in a while.
“Something troubling you?” Delia asked, coming in the back door and peering at her worriedly.
“No. I’m fine. I just have a million little details on my mind.”
“A million details and one man,” Delia countered, busying herself at the stove. “I came in to make some tea. Sit down and have some with me.”
“I really should get back upstairs.”
“And interrupt Max and Helen?”
Gracie managed a smile. “You saw him arrive?”
“Arrive and dash up the steps two at a time. Unless I miss my guess, he’s asked her to marry him by now.”
“He has,” Gracie confirmed. “I was a witness.”
“Perfect. That just leaves you and Kevin.”
“Please, don’t start.”
“You know I love you both. I just want to see you happy. Maybe if you told me what’s worrying you, I could help.” She gestured toward the table again. “Please. I’ll pour the tea.”
She brought two cups to the table, taking Gracie’s acquiescence for granted. Gracie noted she chose the bright ones with the daring red and sunny yellow design. Maybe that was an omen.
“Talk to me, Gracie,” Delia encouraged, her voice soft and coaxing.
&n
bsp; It took her a while to gather her thoughts and work up her courage, but she finally forced herself to begin.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Gracie told Delia. “I saw this house. The idea of a bed-and-breakfast just came to me and, wham, I was all caught up in it. I never meant to stay here, not when I came. I just needed some time to think.”
“Maybe what you really needed were some roots, a real home,” Delia responded. “Traveling all over the world’s bound to be exciting for a time, but settling down has its rewards. Obviously some part of you knew that.”
Maybe so, but Gracie couldn’t think of any rewards. Both of her parents had had a bad case of wanderlust and no money to act on it. She’d spent her whole life listening to them complain about being stuck in a one-horse town, though neither of them had had the ambition to leave. She’d vowed not to get caught in that trap. She’d had ambition and drive to spare.
“Name one reward,” she said. It would have to be a dandy one, too, if it was going to counter a childhood of terrible memories of an economically depressed town where no one, least of all her own parents, had seemed happy.
“I can list three off the top of my head. A good man, children, growing old together,” Delia said, her expression suddenly far away. “That was always what I wanted. Never seemed to find a man that suited me, though. Not after Kevin’s grandfather abandoned me. Probably my own fault. I never quite trusted another man’s feelings. I suppose I turned cynical.”
She regarded Gracie intently. “Don’t you do that. Don’t turn your back on love and family when a man like Kevin is just waiting for you to say yes. He’ll be a good husband and a wonderful father. You’ve seen for yourself how deep his kind of caring can run. He loves you, too. That can be more exciting than traveling the whole danged world, if you ask me.”
Gracie wasn’t so sure. In her experience—which was not so dissimilar to Delia’s except for the pregnancy—men took off when the excitement of the chase wore off. They married someone else. She had the track record to prove it. It hadn’t made her bitter, but it had made her cautious.
Amazing Gracie Page 28