by P.C. Cast
Aphrodite would understand and believe me. I hated that the thought was true.
"Zoey, just let me know whenever you're ready and I'll start the music," Jack called from the back corner of the rec hall where all the audio equipment was kept. Apparently the new kid was a genius with electronics, so I'd instantly drafted him to run the music for the ritual.
"Okay, just a sec. How about I nod at you when I'm ready?"
"Fine with me!" he said with a grin.
I backed up a few feet, realizing that, ironically, I was now standing almost exactly where Neferet had stood not long before. I tried to clear my mind of all the confusion and negatives that were swirling in it. My eyes traveled around the circle. There was a fairly large group of kids present—actually more than I had expected to show. They had quieted down, though there was still a general air of excitement in the room. The white candles in their tall glass containers illuminated the circle in a clean, bright light. I could see my four friends standing in their positions, waiting expectantly for me to begin the ritual. I focused on them and the wonderful gifts they had been given, and got ready to nod at Jack.
"I thought I'd volunteer my services to you.”
Loren's deep voice had me jumping and making an unattractive little squeaking noise. He was standing behind me in the entranceway.
"Crap, Loren! You scared me so bad I almost peed on myself!" I blurted before I had time to control my dorky mouth. But I was telling the truth, Loren had me clutching my pearls in a total freak-out.
Apparently he didn't mind my inability to control my mouth. He gave me a long, slow, sexy smile. "I thought you knew I was here."
"No. I was a little distracted.”
"Stressed, I bet." He touched my arm in a gesture that probably looked innocent. You know, friendly and professorially supportive. But felt like a caress, a really warm caress. His widening smile made me wonder about his vamp intuitiveness. If he could read any part of my mind I would just die. "Well, I'm here to help you with that stress.”
Was he kidding? Just the sight of him made me lose my mind. Stress free around Loren Blake? Not hardly.
"Really? How are you going to do that?" I asked with just a hint of a flirty smile, very aware that the entire room was watching us and that the entire room included my boyfriend.
"I'll do for you what I do for Neferet.”
The silence stretched between us as my mind wallowed around in the gutter wondering just exactly what he did for Neferet. Thankfully, he didn't let me wallow too long.
"Every High Priestess has a poet who recites ancient verse to evoke the presence of the Muse as she enters into her rituals. Today, I'm offering to recite for a very special High Priestess in training. Plus I believe there are some misconceptions that need to be cleared up.”
He crossed his fist over his heart in a gesture of respect people often used when they greeted Neferet. Unlike a cool, confident High Priestess, and very much like a dork, I just stood there staring at him. I mean, I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Misconceptions? As in someone might believe I know what the hell I'm doing?
"But I will need your permission," he continued. "I wouldn't want to intrude upon your ritual.”
"Oh, no!" Then I realized what he must think my silence and then my blurted oh, no meant, and I got hold of myself. "What I mean is that no, you definitely aren't intruding, and yes, I accept your offer. Graciously," I added, wondering how I had ever felt grown and sexy around this man.
His smile made me want to melt in a pool at his feet. "Excellent. Whenever you're ready, just give me the word and I'll begin your introduction." He glanced over to where Jack was gawking at us. "Mind if I have words with your assistant about the slight alteration in your plans?”
"No," I said, feeling utterly surreal. As Loren walked past me his arm brushed mine intimately. Was I imagining the flirting that was going on between us? I looked at the circle and saw that everyone was staring at me. Reluctantly, I found Erik where he was standing beside Stevie Rae. He smiled at me and winked. Okay, it didn't seem like Erik had noticed anything wrong in Loren's behavior toward me. I glanced at Shaunee and Erin. They were following Loren with hungry eyes. They must have felt me looking at them, because they both managed to pull their gazes from Loren's butt. They waggled their eyebrows at me and grinned. They, too, were acting completely normal.
It was just me who was being weird about Loren.
"Get yourself together!" I hissed at myself under my breath. Concentrate … concentrate ... concentrate .. .
"Zoey, I'm ready when you are." Loren had moved back beside me.
I drew a deep, calming breath and lifted my head. "I'm ready.”
His dark eyes held mine. "Remember, trust your instincts. Nyx speaks to the hearts of her priestesses." Then he walked a few paces into the room.
"It is a night for joy!" Loren's voice was not just deep and expressive, it was also commanding. He had the same ability Erik did to captivate a room using only his voice. Everyone instantly was silent, waiting eagerly for his next words. "But you should know that the joy of this night isn't found only in the gifts Nyx has so visibly allowed to manifest here. Some of tonight's joy was born two nights ago when your new leader was deciding upon the future she wanted for the Dark Daughters and Sons.”
I felt a little start of surprise. I didn't know if anyone else really got what he was saying—that I, and not Neferet, had come up with the new standards for the Dark Daughters, but I appreciated his attempt to set things right.
"In celebration of Zoey Redbird, and her new vision for the Dark Daughters, I am honored to open her first ritual as your Head Prefect and High Priestess trainee with a classic poem about joy being newly born that was written by my namesake, the vampyre poet William Blake." Loren looked back at me and mouthed, You're on! then he nodded to Jack, who hurriedly turned to the audio equipment.
The magical sounds of Enya's orchestral song "Aldebaran" filled the room. I swallowed down the last of my nervousness, and began walking forward, tracing a path around the outside of the circle, like I'd watched both Neferet and Aphrodite do in the rituals they'd led. As they had, I moved in time with the music, making little impromptu turns and dance moves. I'd been really freaked out about this part of the ritual—I mean, I'm not clumsy, but I'm also not Ms. Cheerleader/Pom Squad. Thankfully, it was lots easier than I'd imagined it to be. I'd chosen this particular music because of its beautiful, lilting beat, and also because I'd Googled Aldebaran and found out it was a giant star—and I thought music that celebrated the night sky was appropriate for tonight. It was a good choice, because it seemed as if the music was carrying me, moving my body gracefully around the room and overcoming my initial nerves and awkwardness. When Loren's voice began reciting the poem, he, too, echoed the cadence of the music, just like my body was, and it felt like we were making magic together.
" `I have no name,
I am but two days old.'
What shall I call thee?
`I happy am,
Joy is my name.’
Sweet joy befall thee!"
The words of the poem thrilled me. And as I moved toward the center of the circle I felt like I was literally personifying the emotion.
"Pretty joy!
Sweet joy but two days old,
Sweet joy I call thee;
Thou dost smile ...”
Echoing the words of the poem, I smiled, loving the sense of magic and mystery that seemed to fill the room along with the music and Loren's voice.
"I sing the while—Sweet joy befall thee."
Somehow Loren timed it perfectly, and his poem concluded as I reached Nyx's table at the middle of the circle. I was only a little breathless as I smiled around the circle and said, "Welcome to the first Full Moon Ritual for the new Dark Daughters and Sons!”
"Merry meet!" everyone responded automatically.
Without giving myself an opportunity to hesitate, I picked up the ornate rituali
stic lighter and moved purposefully to stand before Damien. Air was the first element called when casting a circle, as well as the last to leave it when the circle was closed. I could feel Damien's excitement and expectation as if they were a physical force.
I smiled at him, swallowed hard to clear the dryness in my throat. When I spoke I tried to project my voice like Neferet. I'm not sure how good of a job I did at it. Let's just say I was glad that the circle was a relatively small one and the room was quiet.
"I call the element air first to our circle, and I ask that it guard us with winds of insight. Come to me, air!”
I touched the lighter to Damien's candle and it flared to life, even though he and I were suddenly standing in the middle of a very obvious whirlwind that lifted our hair and sang playfully within the full skirt of my beautiful dress. Damien laughed and whispered, "Sorry, it's all so new to me that it's hard for me not to be a little overexuberant.”
"I understand completely," I whispered back to him. Then I turned to my right and continued around the circle to Shaunee, who was looking unusually serious, like she was getting ready to take a math test. "Relax," I whispered, trying not to move my lips.
She nodded jerkily, still looking scared to death.
"I call the element of fire to our circle and ask that it burn brilliantly here with the light of might and passion, bringing both to guard and aid us. Come to me, fire!”
I started to touch the end of my lighter to the red candle Shaunee held, but before I could get it there the wick burst into a flickering white light that lifted up well past the lip of the glass jar holding it.
"Oopsie," Shaunee mumbled.
I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing, and I moved quickly on to my right to where Erin was waiting with the blue candle clutched before her like it was a bird that would fly away if she didn't keep hold of it.
"I call water to this circle and ask that you guard us with your oceans of mystery and majesty, and nurture us as your rain does the grass and trees. Come to me, water!”
I lit Erin's blue candle, and it was the weirdest thing. I swear it was like I was suddenly transported to the shores of a lake. I could smell the water and feel it cool against my skin, even though I knew I was standing in the middle of a room and absolutely could not be anywhere near water.
"Guess I should tone it down a little," Erin said softly.
"Nah," I whispered. Then I headed to Stevie Rae. I thought she looked kinda pale, but she had a big grin on her face when I moved into the space in front of her.
"I'm ready!" she said, so loud the kids standing around us laughed softly.
"Good," I said. "Then I call earth to the circle, and ask that you guard us with the strength of stone and the richness of wheat-filled fields. Come to me, earth!" I lit the green candle and was washed in the scents of a meadow—surrounded by birdsong and flowers.
"It's just so cool!" Stevie Rae said.
"So is that." Erik's voice surprised me and when I looked at him he pointed to the circle. Confused, I followed his hand to see a beautiful silver thread of light connecting each of my four friends—the four personifications of the elements—and making a boundary of power within the candles that had already lit the circumference.
"Like it was for us alone, only it's stronger now." Stevie Rae whispered the words, but I could tell by Erik's startled look that he'd heard her. Guess I'd have some explaining to do later, but now was definitely not the time to worry about that.
I moved quickly back to Nyx's table at the center of the circle to complete the casting. I faced the purple candle that sat on the table.
"Finally, I call spirit to our circle and ask that you join us bringing insight and truth with you, so that the Dark Daughters and Sons may be guarded by integrity. Come to me, spirit!" I lit the candle. It blazed even brighter than Shaunee's, and the space around me was filled with the scents and sounds of all of the other four elements. They filled me, too, making me feel strong, calming and steadying me, even as they energized me. With steady hands I took up the braided length of eucalyptus and sage. I lit it with the spirit candle, let it burn for a little while, and then blew it out so that the fragrant smoke billowed in waves around me. Then I faced the circle and began my speech. I had been worried about what I was going to say since Neferet had showed up and literally stolen the biggest part of what I'd planned to talk about. But now, in the middle of the circle I'd cast, filled with the power of all five of the elements, my confidence had been restored as I hastily reworded lines in my head.
I wafted the braided smudge stick around me as I walked the circle, meeting kids' eyes and trying to make everyone feel welcome.
"Tonight I wanted to change things from the type of incense burned, to the abuse of our classmates." I spoke slowly, letting my words and the smoke they mingled with soak into the listening group. They all knew that under the leadership of Aphrodite the incense used during Dark Daughters' rituals had been heavily laced with pot, just as well as they knew that Aphrodite had loved bleeding some poor kid they called "refrigerator" and "snack bar" and mixing his or her blood into the wine everyone sipped. Neither was going to happen again as long as I had anything to do with it. "I chose to burn eucalyptus and sage tonight for the properties the herbs contain. For centuries eucalyptus has been used by the American Indians for healing, protection, and purification, just as they used white sage to drive out negative spirits, energies, and influences. Tonight I ask the five elements to empower these herbs and magnify their energy.”
Suddenly the air around me moved, drawing the smoke from the smudge braid with it in curls and wisps, carrying it throughout the circle as if a giant's hand was wafting through the air currents. The fledglings in the circle murmured in awe, and I sent a grateful, silent prayer to Nyx, thanking her for allowing my power over the elements to manifest so clearly.
When the circle quieted again I continued. "The full moon is a magical time when the veil between the known and the unknown is thin, and can even be lifted. That is mysterious and wonderful, but tonight I want to focus on another aspect of the full moon—that it is an excellent time to complete, or end, things. What I want to end tonight is the old negative reputation of the Dark Daughters and Sons. As of this full moon night that part of us has ended, and a new time has begun.”
I kept walking, moving around the circle in a clockwise direction. Choosing my words carefully, I said, "From here on the Dark Daughters and Sons will be a group filled with integrity and purpose, and I believe the fledglings Nyx chose to gift with elemental affinities represent the ideals of our new group well.” I smiled at Damien. "My friend Damien is the most authentic person I know, even when being true to himself has been a hard thing to be. He represents air well." The wind around Damien picked up as he smiled shyly at me.
I turned to Shaunee next. "My friend Shaunee is the most faithful person I know. If she's on your side, she's there whether you're right or wrong—and if you're wrong she'll tell you about yourself, but she won't desert you. She represents fire well." Shaunee's mocha skin glistened as her body glowed, unburned but alight with flame.
I went to Erin. "My friend Erin's beauty sometimes fools people into thinking she has great hair, but no brains. It's not true. She is one of the wisest people I know, and Nyx proved that she looks to the interior when she chose Erin. She represents water well." As I walked past her I could hear the sound of waves crashing on a shore.
I stopped in front of Stevie Rae. She was looking tired, with dark circles bruising the otherwise pale skin under her eyes, which made sense. Obviously, she'd been worrying too much about me—as usual. "My friend Stevie Rae always knows when I'm happy or sad, stressed or relaxed. She worries about me; she worries about all of her friends, sometimes she is too empathetic, and I'm glad that now she has the earth she can draw strength from. She represents earth well."
I grinned at Stevie Rae, and she smiled back at me, blinking fast so that she wouldn't cry. The
n I walked to the center of the circle where I put down the smudge braid and picked up the purple candle. "I'm not perfect, and I'm not going to pretend to be. What I promise you is that I sincerely want what is best for the Dark Daughters and Sons, and for all of the fledglings at the House of Night." I was getting ready to say that I hoped I would represent spirit well when Erik's voice rang across the circle.
"She represents spirit well!" My four friends agreed loudly, and I was pleased (and more than a little surprised) to hear several other fledglings chime in with them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
When I started talking again everyone instantly quieted down. "Each of you who believes you can uphold the ideals of the Dark Daughters and Sons, and will try your best to be authentic, faithful, wise, empathetic, and sincere—you may continue your membership in this group. But I want you to know that there will be new fledglings joining us, and they won't be judged on the way they look or who their best friends are. Make your decision, and see me or any of the other Prefects and let us know if you want to stay with the group." I caught the eyes of some of Aphrodite's old buddies and added, "We won't hold the past against you. It's how you act from here on that counts." A couple of the girls looked guiltily away from me, and a few more looked like they were trying hard not to cry. I was especially glad to see Deino meet my gaze steadily and nod somberly—maybe she wasn't so "terrible" after all.