by Gem Sivad
He couldn't explain his sudden overwhelming need to win her approval—maybe it was because spring was around the corner—maybe it was because every day she built the wall between them higher. He'd decided the wall was coming down.
They reached the barn and he tugged it open, shepherding her through the door he then closed and secured. Her eyebrows went up on the bar he set in place, locking out the world and them in.
But, he bided his time. First the present—then…
*
"Chickens?" Julie couldn't believe what she saw before her—three hens sharing nine baby chicks among them, to be exact.
Even as she asked, she crouched down beside the wire enclosure he had penned them in. Grady knelt beside her, opened the cage for a minute, and scooped up one of the yellow balls of fluff to hand to her.
Julie cupped the precious bit of life in her hands and tried to keep the moisture in her eyes from spilling over. "Why would you do such a thing?" The words trembled on her lips, but he shushed her question by covering her mouth with his.
"I want you, Julie. Want me too." He murmured the words against her lips, fumbling to get the chick back in its pen with one hand as he drew her into his arms with the other.
"It's too cold out here," she protested.
"I'll keep you warm."
She wasn't cold. He held her to him, lips hungrily tasting her, and she opened to him, relishing the feel of his tongue touching her own. Never lifting his head, he pulled her coat from her and shrugged out of his own, piling them behind them in the straw he'd already prepared.
When he cupped her breasts and kneaded them through the rough material of her dress, her moan of need broke free and loosed the hard control she'd maintained over the past two months.
He didn't ask permission but swept her under him, lifting her skirts as he tumbled her onto the bed of coats and straw. But, he didn't come into her as she expected. Instead, after he'd pushed her underclothes to her knees, then to the top of her boots, he parted her thighs and set his mouth on her.
"Grady, no." But even as she protested, her hips rose to meet the exquisite invasion.
"Yes," he mumbled against her folds, causing a tickling sensation that made her shiver. "Yes, yes, yes," he muttered the words from hole to clit and lifted her higher as his tongue, teeth, and lips set her aflame.
Julie's nipples were hard pebbles swollen with need. He aroused such want she pressed her hands against his head demanding more.
When his tongue entered her, she pushed against it. "More," she whispered. But he withdrew, causing a sob of distress, until he pushed two fingers into her, giving her what she begged for.
His drank the honey that flowed from her core, licked the soft inner flesh of her cleft, and sucked on the nub of nerves that seemed to swell and demand his attention. Her climax flowed over her in a stream of heat and bursting stars. She knew she shouted out, but had no recall of her own words later.
When she came back to herself, he was cradling her head on his shoulder. Her skirts were back in place, and he seemed content. When he nuzzled her neck, she could smell her scent on him, and it made her feel wicked at the same time arousal stirred again in her belly.
He hadn't come. She didn't have to slide her hand down his front and cup his jeans to know that. The length of his manhood was outlined as the denim stretched to contain it.
There are ways to pleasure a man without getting with child. Before she could lose her nerve or question her sanity, Julie tugged open his pants. When she touched his swollen member, his breath hissed out, arousing her even more. She parted the flaps of his jeans and brought the full length of him into the open.
"Julie, no." His protest mimicked her own so closely, her first taste of him was wrapped in laughter.
"Yes," she fluttered the words around the head of his cock, tasting his pre-cum with the tip of her tongue.
"Yes, yes, yes," she murmured against the velvet hardness of his length, swirling her tongue against his thickness, sucking him with her mouth.
"Julie." It was a desperate groan she ignored. "Sweetheart, you've got me so hot, I can't hold back. You have to stop now." The jerky confession came from a man who controlled every facet of his life. Instead of allowing Grady reprieve, Julie opened her jaw wider and angled her throat to take him even deeper.
He clutched her hair and held her to him as his seed shot from him in an explosive gush that filled her throat and then her mouth as his manhood softened. When the last drop was spent, Julie rubbed her tongue along his cock, savoring the taste of him before she sat up and tucked him back inside his pants.
He stared up at her from his collapsed position on the coats, and she spoke her thoughts aloud. "You make me lose control. I make you lose control. Reckon that makes us even, Grady Hawks."
Chapter Fifteen
Julie prided herself on how well she had adjusted to this new life. After their foray in the barn, tension between them lessened considerably. When the need for passion is on him, Grady Hawks always finds a place to ease it.
Her thoughts were wry, because she knew that her need for that passion was as great as his. Their secret trysts were always the same, his lips on her, her mouth taking him.
Only then did she let loose her control and give him the release he wanted from her.
In the bed at night, when he penetrated her and left his seed next to her womb, she refused to give into passion. Ridiculous or not, she felt that her body would refuse his seed as long as she remained unresponsive.
The cabin was considerably more comfortable than when she'd been brought here four months before, and she was proud of the improvements to the men's lives she'd made. The food was cooked on time and served hot, she washed the denims for all of them, and she and Dawn had made the barren cabin into a home.
For three months of Julie's stay, the Indian girl had been with her, both as a helpmate and a friend. They worked beside each other, communicating when they needed, but mostly they used sign and not words. It was already early February, and the winter so far had been fierce, but it would soon end. She dreaded that as much as she welcomed it.
Dawn and her husband would be gone, and Julie would be alone with Grady Hawks and the girls. She hated the thought of the lonely days after the other woman left. She also feared the growing affection her daughters had for Grady. Already, they climbed on him in the evening, demanding his attention.
" Ate, " Emma would coo, wobbling in front of him. Amy's babble was still just that, but Emma's Kiowa " father" was very clear when he pretended to ignore her. Dawn was busy teaching them the Indian word that had an English meaning Julie refused.
"You have a good man." It was something that Dawn told her often, as though she wanted Julie to understand.
Julie always nodded agreement and let it go. She did not consider Grady Hawks her man. We made a bargain. I am doing my best to fulfill it. Come November next, we'll be gone. If she told herself that enough, she thought she could prepare herself for the departure.
"I don't want the girls to get too attached to him," she tried to explain hesitantly.
"He's not their father, you know."
Dawn had shaken her head in denial, repeating, " Cetan Ate," and then stubbornly, in English, "Father Hawk."
It rattled her. She didn't tell Dawn that she planned to leave, but the other woman knew anyway.
One day they stood watching as Dakota and Julie's husband rode into the ranch yard.
There were icicles hanging from the horses' manes, and the men's breaths pumped out white in the air.
Grady Hawks looked as cold and proud as the mountainous landscape that surrounded him. Dawn nudged her and then picked up a length of Julie's hair.
"Your man is warmed by your fire." She tugged on the end of the red strand as though scolding Julie for ignoring something she should understand.
He'd been so sure he'd get her with child immediately they hadn't discussed the possibility that she could be carrying but undelivere
d at year's end. She had already been here four months, and in spite of his nightly attentions, and her former fertility, her womb was empty.
In eight months' time, Julie intended to be gone. The first month here, she could feel this place weaving bands around her heart. She'd worked hard to make herself useful. At first she'd been silly, falling back into her what-ifs.
What-ifs had stopped shortly after Grady Hawks made it clear she was here for one reason—to present him with a child as soon as possible.
The day she handed the twins over to Dawn to nurse, she vowed she'd get her little family away from Grady Hawks and the Hawks Nest Ranch and never look back. Julie could tell that the longer she stayed, the harder it would be on her daughters. She refused to think of the passion that he unleashed in her. She preferred to think of it as gratitude that her daughters would have a grubstake in life.
The cow had wintered in comfort, giving her milk to her calf, while Dawn had assumed the role of wet nurse. When her resolve to remain aloof weakened, Julie reminded herself of the painful swelling of her breasts when he'd forced her to wean the girls.
This is a business deal to him. Presents are just his way to make the medicine go down smoother. So when Grady Hawks came to her each night to plant his seed, she lay still and passive, and willed her body to remain barren.
* * * *
March came and went, the winter turned into early spring, and Dawn weaned the twins, preparing to leave with Dakota. As soon as the mountain passes thawed enough for traveling, the two were headed to Mexico.
Grady watched enviously as the once-solemn Indian girl flirted with her husband. It was spring and the two were in love. Sometimes he caught Julie discreetly peeking at them, a puzzled look on her face. Did she expect that from him? Did she want that?
He thought about asking her to stay beyond the year if she remained without child, wondering what he could offer beyond the girls' land deal. But remembering how Julie had wanted a written contract, he kept silent, figuring she'd see it as his intention to weasel out of their original agreement.
Every morning, he and the rest of the hands were out at first light, rounding up the cattle that had survived a hard winter. It kept Grady busy and his mind off what he couldn't change. The first break in the weather, he'd ridden to the high country and visited Hawk Canyon. The cave was swept clean, the fires cold.
When the Indians had gone, he didn't know. Dakota was unsurprised, and Grady felt the old resentment—he would always be part of two worlds, accepted in neither. On the way back to the cabin, Grady spied an elk and brought it down with a rifle shot.
"Be good to have fresh meat," he said to the Indian as they dressed out the carcass.
Dakota rolled the skin out to dry in the sun, and motioned at it. "For your woman—
give—maybe she stay in your lodge."
He was the second man urging Grady to give Julie a gift. It embarrassed him that the other men could see the weakness of his marriage.
* * * *
Spring sunshine melted the snow in the high elevations, and by April, Julie's friend prepared to leave. Grady loaded a pack horse with provisions for Dakota and Dawn as the two women said their good-byes. With silent tears wetting her cheeks, Julie watched until the two figures on horseback disappeared into the mountains.
The cabin seemed empty with Dawn no longer there. Julie dreaded the lonely days, and looked for excuses to wrap the girls in warm clothes, exploring outside the cabin. But this morning she could hear rain hitting the roof, playing a dreary tune.
Grady had risen early to join the hands who were already working the foothills in the spring roundup. He'd leaned over the bed, tucking blankets around her as he always did, and then dressed. Before he'd left, he said, "Don't worry about meals this week; we'll be camping in the hills, branding calves as they come in."
That had brought her awake immediately. "You won't be here tonight?" She tried to be casual.
"I can ride back in, if being alone here bothers you." He waited for her answer.
"No, don't worry, we'll be fine." But she was already tense at the notion of being isolated in the cabin. It was foolish, but she had become accustomed to all of the layers of protection that Grady Hawks provided—especially his own presence.
Confined to the cabin by the weather, she worked, keeping the oven going all day to produce baked goods since there was no one to eat a meal. She hulled the last of the fall pecans and made pies.
At the end of the day she was exhausted, the cabin smelled like a bakery and was filled with treats for the ranch hands with no way to deliver them.
She faced the night with trepidation. Bold claims made to Sheriff Potter notwithstanding, she did not know how to shoot a gun, handle a knife as a weapon, or fight like a man.
As soon as she tamped down the fire in the oven, the chill of the wet spring evening seeped through the cabin walls. Shivering, she dragged out the big baby crib that Grady had built for the twins and stationed it in front of the fireplace in the main room.
After she made a pot of coffee and watched the twins toddle and play until they were weaving with tiredness, she bathed them in the tub of water she'd heated, and put them to bed. She would have relished their company but both were fast asleep, leaving her in the eerie quiet of the cabin as rain pelted against the roof.
Julie rocked in the big chair that had materialized shortly after she'd arrived. She was snuggled in a blanket, staring mesmerized at the flames when she was jerked from half-sleep by pounding on the cabin door.
"Who is it?" She wasn't going to lift the plank, unbarring the door, without knowing who stood outside.
"Let me in, Julie." She was enormously relieved to hear Grady's gruff voice. When she swung open the door, he took in her nightgown, the crib in front of the fire, the rocking chair pulled up close, and he smiled.
It was such an unusual expression on his face Julie smiled back. He sniffed the air,
"Sure smells good in here."
Before she could hurry to get supper for him, or pour him a cup of coffee, he pulled her into his arms.
"Hmmmm," he murmured into her hair. "You smell good enough to eat." Moisture from his shirt and pants seeped into her nightgown as she stood in the circle of his arms.
When she shivered, he pulled the blanket tighter around her and stepped back, releasing her. "Sorry. Forgot I was all wet."
Unexpected feelings of tenderness welled up in her throat. Julie took the blanket from her shoulders and wrapped it around his. "I don't want you getting sick. You work too hard and don't take care of yourself."
When she would have stepped away again, he pulled her close inside the cocoon of the blanket. "You should get out of those wet clothes," she whispered, trembling, but not from cold.
"I think you need to get out of that damp nightgown too," he murmured, walking toward the fire without releasing her. He stopped by the crib where Amy snored softly at one end and Emma smiled in her dreams at the other.
She grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. He untied the ribbon on her nightgown and pushed it off her shoulders to fall at their feet. And then he kissed her.
His lips settled gently over hers, asking without words. She opened for him, and his tongue explored her mouth. A moan escaped her throat as she felt the brush of his hot skin against her breasts.
She liked the feel of his callused hands, thumbs circling her nipples erotically as he continued to plunder her mouth.
"I want you, Julie—want me too." He used the words that always inflamed her.
*
Grady lowered Julie to the blanket, covering her with his body. Both of them fumbled at his waistband, freeing him quickly from his pants. His cock was hard and ached to sink into her sheath, but tonight, he wanted more, he wanted her to need him as much as he hungered for her.
He buried his face in the crease between her neck and shoulder, breathing the scent of skin perfumed with the aroma of cookies, as he nuzzled his wa
y to her ear, murmuring his pleasure. He pulled loose the leather thong that bound her hair, and then, conscious of the hard floor under her, he rolled on his back, pulling her on top of him.
The silken strands of red fire caressed his chest as she sat up. "Ride me," he ordered.
Before she could think, or lose the passion he'd unexpectedly ignited, his lips closed over her nipple, making her arch into his suckling attentions.
He held her, one hand on her hip, urging her forward, the other pulling and tweaking her other nipple. She clasped his head and stroked his hair as he pleasured her with his mouth.
His cock stood tall, a pillar of iron ready to melt in her internal heat, and when she centered herself and slid down, taking him into her body, they both sighed thankfully.
"Yes." Her eyes were closed; her hair curtained them as she rode his thrusts and tilted her pelvis to take him deeper than he'd ever been.
She was wet and ready for him. His cock ground against her mound as her internal muscles gripped him, demanding more. Her knees straddled his body, as she swiveled her hips and thrust back. "Please," a whispered plea escaped her lips, asking him for relief.
He slid his hand between them and stroked her pearl. Lightning forked through her body, her muscles spasmed, squeezing his shaft as her climax caught him and carried him along too. In a straining mass of tangled limbs, they soared together and collapsed as one.
Grady petted her back, smoothing his hand up and down as aftershocks pulsed through both of them. He didn't want to move—ever.
Her head rested against his shoulder; his cock, unwilling to stop the delight even now, twitched inside of her, reveling in the slide of soft heat that enveloped him.
When she lifted her head, her expression was grim. "That wasn't supposed to happen."
"Why? Why withhold pleasure from coupling when we have it so many other ways?"
Her truculent expression accompanied the shake of her head.
"It's best not to have feelings for you." Her lips were firmed in an almost frown, and her eyes were brimming with tears ready to overflow.