by Jennie Jones
Jack cleared his throat. ‘Just a lesson.’
‘I got up to third gear.’
‘We were on your property, so it was legal. And we’re all safe,’ Jack said, ‘as I knew we would be.’ He threw that last bit of information Jax’s way, catching her eye.
She gave him an imperceptible nod. There was no way Jack Maxwell would have put Frances in danger.
‘So here’s the thing, ladies,’ he said. ‘From now on, until these idiots who might be trespassing on your property are out of our hair, the police advise you keep three dogs inside the house at night. The police also advise you two to stick together. The police will also be staying over each night. Jax, when are you returning to work at the café?’
‘Um …’ She shook her head to clear the sudden confusion. ‘I have to do three days a week. Frances will be with me. I’ve made one of the back storerooms her own private area.’
‘I’d like you to work five days a week.’
‘Five?’
‘Are we in witness protection?’ Frances asked.
‘No,’ Jack said. ‘You haven’t witnessed anything. But you are under orders.’ He nudged her with his elbow. ‘Otherwise I might have to arrest you. You saw how I handled those goats. Don’t mess with me.’
Jax got the shock of her life when Frances gave him a grin. ‘You’re lying about arresting us,’ she said.
He tweaked her nose. ‘Want to test me?’
Frances pulled back, but she was still smiling.
Panic surged. Her daughter was already enchanted with him. She wanted Frances to find friends, whether grown-ups or kids her own age, but one day Jack would walk out of their lives. Jax would cope, she was an adult, but Frances was still a child. A child who’d been abandoned by her father. So what was she to do? Could she keep Jack at bay, romantically, whilst allowing a natural friendship to blossom between him and Frances? Because Jack would help Frances; he already had. Frances adored him, whether she knew it or not. He was already her father-figure.
‘Come on,’ she said to Frances, and hooked a protective arm over her shoulders, glad that Frances allowed it. ‘Let’s get you inside where it’s cool. Rosie’s here. She’s in the kitchen. She came to watch the bull being unloaded.’
‘Jax, can I have a word?’
Something in Jack’s eyes told her he had more to tell her. ‘Go on inside,’ she said to Frances. ‘And don’t squabble too much with Rosie.’
They waited until Frances was in the house before speaking. Jax pushed her fingers into the pockets of her jeans. ‘What is it?’
‘The two men fighting. It was the Baxter boys. Frances got a fright so we had a little chat.’
That’s why she’d been red-eyed. No surprise, after what Michael had done to her. She wondered what form the chat had taken, but didn’t get time to ask.
‘There’s a man called Joseph Bivic,’ Jack said. ‘He works at Lizard Claws. I’ve got my eye on him.’
‘What has this got to do with me and Frances?’
‘Bivic is Roper’s nephew.’
She took a moment to think about this. If Jack was watching him, he must be some sort of criminal. ‘Is he dangerous?’ Apprehension got her by the throat. ‘Are you worried he might come here for payback because he’s friends with the Baxter boys and because I fired them?’
He took both her hands and eased them out from where she had them clenched in her jeans’ pockets. ‘Either Solomon or I will be keeping a night watch around your house. Will and Donna will do a number of casual drive-bys every day. But I’d prefer you both in town during daytime hours. It’ll be easier for me to keep an eye on you.’
She inhaled, gathering all this information in her head. ‘Are you in Mt Maria because of this Bivic man?’
He didn’t answer.
‘Does Mr Roper know his nephew is dangerous?’
‘I’ve arranged to talk to Roper today, once I get back to the station. But I can’t make it look like I’m interested in his nephew. That’s why I had the goats taken to the station. He’s meeting me there later.’
‘Because if you questioned him about his nephew, it would damage whatever operation you’re on?’
He smiled, but said nothing.
‘Why can’t you just tell me?’
‘You’re safe. You and Frances. We’ve got you covered. Can I sleep on your sofa again tonight?’
Unbelievably, she melted a little. But she couldn’t let that happen. She pulled her hands out of his. ‘You’re here because you’re undercover, doing something I know nothing about, but you’re still only here while you’re on a case.’
He didn’t agree; he merely said, ‘Go on.’
‘Even though I’m tempted to … be with you while you’re here, I can’t. Obviously.’
‘How much do I tempt you?’
‘Jack,’ she warned. ‘What are you going to do after all this is over?’
He took a breath, easing back into a lighter frame of mind. ‘I could be a kitchen hand at the café.’
‘Jack!’
‘Maybe I’ll buy an animal rescue truck and drive around the bush all day looking for injured animals.’
‘No,’ she said. ‘You’ll go back to Sydney.’
‘I could run the youth centre or start a karate club. I could definitely run the local pistol club.’
‘Be serious, Jack.’
‘Don’t you think being with me would be a good place to be?’
She nodded without meaning to, but his personal question caught her off guard.
‘But you’re not quite there yet.’
‘It’s not that—’
‘Honest to God, I don’t know what I’ll do, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find something to do. In the meantime, I’m going to take you out. We’ve got a mountain to climb and some wildflowers to steal.’
She blinked, bewildered. ‘Wildflower season is eight months away.’
‘Then I guess I’ll have eight months to keep taking you out.’
‘You have to get real about this. You have to think carefully and seriously.’
‘I am,’ he said. ‘Marry me.’
Seventeen
Jax sat in the warm, lasagne- and chocolate pudding-scented kitchen, plucking at a frayed thread on one of the tablemats.
It was strange knowing that Solomon would be outside after dark, keeping a watch on the house. She wasn’t comfortable with it but knew she’d never be able to persuade either Solomon or Jack to back off, and she wouldn’t ask them to because she was concerned, for Frances. Jack would be back later, after he’d done his interview with Mr Roper. If he was here early enough he’d have dinner with them, and he’d sleep on the sofa again.
She pulled another thread. They hadn’t even kissed again since he’d turned up in town, and he was asking her to marry him. He was out of his mind.
Jax was too, for giving his suggestion even the smallest space in her head.
When she’d first met him he’d put that word ‘family’ into her mind. The word was obviously still there, especially as she now had Rosie and Frances, but it still included Jack and she thought perhaps her heart was already a little bit broken just knowing she would lose him.
At the age of seventeen her life had changed and sharpened her. Long before it ought to have. She’d given birth to Frances with only the nurse and doctor present. Her mother was sitting outside the room, waiting for this tragedy to end so she could get back to being able to hold her head up in the street again. Jax had very little knowledge of her father, he’d died when Rosie was a two-year-old, and although her paternal grandmother, for whom she’d named Frances Adelita, had done her best to keep his memory alive, Jax’s memories of him throughout the first eight years of her life had dwindled. Now, she wished with all her heart he’d lived. Perhaps he’d have been a kinder influence in her and Rosie’s lives.
A little while after Frances had gone to school for that first time, their mother had died, leaving Jax as sister, mother and p
rovider for Rosie, and her life had changed all over again. Now it had changed for a third time, but it was good. She had Frances here with her.
She bit her lip hard, thinking about what it had taken to tell Jack about Michael and the night Frances had been conceived. The whole deal with Michael had eventually gone further than she’d thought it would. But she’d wanted to lose her virginity to him, thinking it would be cool to lose it to an older man. She’d thought she wanted it.
Still biting her lip, she concentrated on the threads she’d pulled from the tablemat. She hadn’t thought at all. She’d been sixteen, eager for life’s experiences. She was reasonably sure he’d enticed her to go the whole way and it hadn’t been enjoyable at all. Just fast and over before she knew it. But she’d told him she wanted it. She’d thought it was what she wanted. She had no-one to ask an opinion of now, except Jack, and they’d already had that conversation and she wasn’t going to make him angry about it again. Anyway, it was too intimate a conversation to have with a man. Rachel and Donna would listen and would understand, but might not be able to comprehend how Jax couldn’t see what had really happened. She didn’t want to look like a fool, but she had been. She ought to own up to it, even if only to herself.
‘Excuse me.’
She looked up and smiled at Frances. She had her child, living here with her. If this was the result of every hardship that had occurred in her younger years, then she was thankful for all of them.
‘There’s no need to be so polite,’ she said. ‘Not to me, anyway.’
Frances came into the kitchen and stopped by the bench.
‘Is everything all right?’
Frances nodded, then looked down and said nothing.
Rosie had gone back to the café to check on the girls who’d been left in charge for a few hours and who’d done exceptionally well, but had returned after she’d closed the café to help prepare dinner, which was now in the oven. She’d gone back to Davidson now, but while she’d been here Frances had seemed quiet but at ease, even answering one or two of Rosie’s flippant questions. Frances had also helped with the cooking. She’d made the chocolate pudding, without need of a recipe.
‘Did you like driving?’ Jax asked, knowing Frances had come into the kitchen for a reason, and knowing she had to fill the gaps until Frances said whatever it was that she wanted to say.
‘Yes and no. It was all a bit odd because I didn’t feel not right.’
Jax took her time, digesting whatever this might mean.
‘I had to talk about my dad.’
Jax released the hold she had on the tablemat and sat up straighter. ‘Did Jack ask you?’
Frances shook her head. ‘No. I meant, I had to talk.’
‘I see.’ She didn’t, but Frances was opening up and obviously wanted to say more. ‘If there’s something you need to know about your dad, or about Linda, or about anything, you can ask me.’
Frances looked doubtful.
‘If I don’t know the answer I’ll find it.’ She paused. ‘Do you want to get in touch with him?’ she asked tentatively.
Frances shook her head, then stopped. ‘I don’t know.’ She stuck her hands into the pockets of her shorts and, for a second, she reminded Jax of herself. Suppressing real emotion by remaining firmly detached. Shoving hands into pockets.
‘I just want you to know that I realise why I’m here,’ Frances said, her eyes still firmly on the floor, ‘and I get that you’re trying to help.’
Jax found a smile as something warmed inside her. ‘You know something, Frances? You remind me of me sometimes.’
Frances looked up and their eyes caught. ‘That’s odd too, isn’t it?’
‘It is,’ Jax agreed, ‘since we don’t know each other.’ There was a chance here and she wanted to take it. ‘I love you, Frances. I always did and I always will. I know you don’t want to hear that but it’s true. And just so you know—and I really want you to know this—’ Tears were threatening and she had to blink to get rid of them. ‘I think we can be friends. I don’t expect you to think of me as your mother,’ she added. ‘I don’t expect to mean that much to you but I want you to know that I never stopped thinking about you. That I realised, after I’d given you away, that I shouldn’t have done it.’
‘You didn’t really give me away though, did you? You said my dad and your mum made you.’
‘They wanted me to. They persuaded me to and I was very young and thought it would be best for you.’ Her heart was like a weighted stone, sunk in a river. ‘I should have stood up for myself and for you. I’m sorry, Frances. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to do that.’ Her chest was so tight now, it was nearly choking her.
‘I kind of understand,’ Frances said in a small voice. ‘I mean, I get now that you felt something for me.’
‘You were my whole world for one hour. You’ve been my hidden world for thirteen years.’ She blinked harder. ‘I’m probably doing it all wrong now, and I’m sorry about that. I’m trying but I’m getting it wrong.’
‘Not wrong,’ Frances said, sounding hesitant.
A ray of hope softened the boulder of emotion in Jax’s chest. ‘Do you think we can start again? Do you think there’s a chance we might get to know each other a bit more? I’d like that. I’d love that,’ she said, her heart swelling as all that hope engulfed it. ‘You’re my daughter. There isn’t a minute of every day that’s gone by since you were born that I didn’t acknowledge you in some way.’
‘I’d kind of like it if you didn’t do this,’ Frances said, nodding at Jax’s eyes.
‘Sorry,’ Jax sniffed hard and blinked a lot more. ‘I’m feeling overwhelmed.’
‘I feel that way all the time.’
Jax paused, getting herself under control as she heard the bemused pain behind Frances’s words. ‘I bet you do.’
‘I’m sorry I lied about the youth centre brochures.’
‘No harm done.’
‘I don’t want to make you upset.’
‘You don’t.’ Jax stood, and smiled through the torrent of emotions engulfing her. ‘You make me happy. You’re a beautiful young woman and you make me proud.’
Frances’s eyes remained fixated then suddenly the fear and wariness in them subsided a little and Jax took heart. ‘I like your dogs,’ she said. ‘And I quite like my bedroom. It’s cosy.’
‘That’s great!’ Jax reached across the table for the tissue box and pulled a handful. ‘I cried or worried about Rosie much more than with you,’ she said on a strangled but comfortable laugh, lying and hoping it wouldn’t sound that way. ‘You’re a lot easier to be with.’
‘Really? Me?’
‘Really. You.’
There was a pause while Jax got herself under control, then Frances asked a question. ‘Do you think I’ll have the same size boobs as you and Rosie?’
Jax was shocked to stillness for a moment, then her smile arrived so fast and hard that she had to sit down. ‘Possibly. Probably.’ Did she worry about this? Rosie never had, but Frances wasn’t Rosie, Frances was part Jax and Jax understood. ‘Do you get sick of boys looking at you sometimes?’ she asked. ‘Like, looking you over.’ She might have a bad haircut and she might still be teenage-gangly, but it was going to change and the signs were already there.
Frances nodded. ‘I think they’re looking for my boobs, but I don’t have any. I don’t think I want them.’
Darling child. Innocent, put-upon beautiful young girl. Hadn’t Linda spoken to her about any of these important issues? Probably not. Jax’s own mother hadn’t either. When Jax first got her period at the early age of nine, she’d thought she was going to bleed to death at school, on the toilet cubicle floor. She’d made damned sure Rosie knew everything there was to know about growing into womanhood. She’d do the same for Frances.
She sniffed again, finished with the tissues and scrunched them into a ball in her hand. ‘Shall I tell you something? When I was your age, I didn’t have boobs either. I thought I was the odd
girl out. Then suddenly, about five months later, I sprouted them.’ She gave her daughter a wry look. ‘And I wished I never had.’
‘I don’t actually care about this stuff,’ Frances said, pushing her hands further into her pockets. ‘I just sometimes think about it. Since it’s going to happen.’
She meant that she hoped it happened. That she felt awkward that it hadn’t yet happened and therefore scared of how she’d handle it when it did happen.
‘I think we need a big shopping expedition,’ Jax said. ‘We need to go out and shop up a storm and buy all the silly, stupid things we don’t need but want anyway. That’ll take our minds off our troubles and our boobs.’ She flashed a smile.
Frances looked at her from beneath dark lashes. ‘I didn’t get a lot of things from Linda.’
Damn you, Linda Fellows.
‘I got what I needed, but I never had things I didn’t need but might have liked. I had a budgie and it died and I never got another one. Once, I found a lost dog and she made me let it go outside the front garden fence. It ran off and I don’t know if it ever got home or if it ever got rescued.’
Jax stilled her expression and her emotions. She kept her eyes on Frances.
‘And my dad didn’t know I was fairly good at sports. He was always out.’
Jax waited. Give the girl a chance to speak. A chance to get it all out.
‘I think I’m weird.’
Jax shook her head, heart compressed. ‘There’s nothing weird about you. Except that you now have to live with me and all my animals, and you have Rosie for an auntie. That’s got to be weird.’
Was that the shadow of a smile?
‘I don’t have to do the cleaning here, do I?’
‘Absolutely not. Except maybe some chores, but you do most of them anyway, instinctively.’ She took a long breath. ‘Did you have to do more chores than usual for Linda?’
Frances’s eyes took on a wary glaze, as though she expected a slap in the face. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
It did. ‘Why don’t I write a list of all the things that have to be done in the house and you can choose a few you would like to do. It will be a great help if you do some things, like the dishes and making your own bed. I was also wondering if you might like to help me feed the dogs each evening.’