by Harlequin
‘I’ll see how I go for time this evening,’ he hedged, cross with himself that he couldn’t seem to make such a simple decision. ‘Otherwise you’ll see her when she comes to collect you in the morning.’
Quinn stifled a groan of disgust as he parked his car in front of the Barton’s imposing front door.
‘As if there was any question that I’d come here,’ he muttered as he released his seat belt and reached for the folder on the passenger seat. He hardly needed DJ to give him an excuse. The Barton itself was reason enough, with the preliminary brief from the architect to discuss with Faith before the detailed plans could be made for the conversion.
The fact that he’d been miserable without some sort of contact with her, especially their midnight conversations, was something he’d only admitted to himself.
Even as he went to ring the bell he heard the sound of music floating towards him and changed his mind, opting instead to enter the house by his usual route.
This time, when he reached the French doors he found that they were wide open with the last of the spectacular sunset pouring over Faith like the most exotic of spotlights.
In her simple summer dress she looked so much like the girl he’d seen the first time he’d heard her pouring her soul into her music. She was playing their tune again—the one that would always remind him of the day when she’d promised to love him for ever—and in spite of the anger still tying him in knots, he knew he’d never stopped loving her.
As she had that long-ago time, her hands grew still and she lifted her head to look towards him standing in the doorway.
The difference this time was that her eyes were sad.
‘How do you do that?’ he murmured, certain he hadn’t made a sound.
‘It could be that I just know when you’re there,’ she said, turning on the stool to face him.
‘Or it could be that DJ phoned to tell you I was coming,’ he guessed, and was rewarded with a brief flash of that smile she shared with her son…their son.
That thought was enough to douse his pleasure and send him stalking towards her, the sound echoing in the enormous room as he crossed the polished wood floor.
‘So, now that I’m here, are you finally going to tell me why you kept my son away from me all these years?’ He stopped within arm’s reach, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets so that he couldn’t give in to the temptation to haul her off that stool and into his arms.
What was it about Faith that made him want to comfort her when she was the one who had caused him so much pain? And the fact that it wasn’t just comfort he wanted to offer…
‘What really happened?’ he continued with renewed determination. ‘You said you disappeared so I wouldn’t give up my place at medical school but that can’t be the whole story. Did your mother find out that you’d been consorting with the son of the local drunk and whisk you out of harm’s way before the well-to-do neighbours found out? I’m surprised she didn’t pay for an abortion for you so that you could have a child worthy of the family name. Was it her idea to cut me out of his life, as if I’d never existed? Just an inconvenient sperm donor who—’
‘Stop it!’ she hissed on a broken sob, and he was finally shocked into silence when he realised that tears were streaming silently down her face. ‘It wasn’t like that…none of it. She didn’t know.’
‘She didn’t know what?’ he demanded grimly, having to fight every decent urge to console her when she was so distraught—having to remind himself that this tearful woman was the one who’d promised to love him for ever and had then disappeared out of his life when she’d discovered she was pregnant.
‘She didn’t know any of it,’ Faith declared heatedly. ‘For several months, even she didn’t know where I was. I got myself a temporary job playing show tunes and special requests in one of the London hotels while I tried to sort my head out. Then I found out about DJ and I wanted to come home where I had friends and could feel safe, but I knew I’d have to wait until it was too late for my mother to make me get rid—’
‘Hang on a minute,’ he interrupted. Something wasn’t quite right here. ‘What do you mean, you found out about DJ several months after you left Rookmere. You left because you were pregnant with my baby, because you didn’t trust me to be a good father, or—’
Faith shook her head and the misery on her face was enough to break Quinn’s heart all over again. Then he watched her draw in a breath and pull herself together in front of his eyes.
‘I almost wish it had been that simple, but it wasn’t,’ she said in a voice that was so calm and steady that it could have belonged to an automaton.
This time he knew he was going to hear the whole story and he suddenly wished it could remain a secret for ever. He had an awful feeling that his world was never going to be the same.
‘That summer I’d been having…a few health problems,’ she began.
‘Health problems?’ he interrupted immediately. ‘What health problems? You never said anything—’
‘Please, Quinn,’ she pleaded. ‘This is hard. I need to tell it in my own way.’
‘Ok,’ he said grudgingly, suddenly realising that there was so much about Faith that he didn’t know, in spite of the fact that he’d followed her career every step of the way. He’d certainly never heard a whisper of the fact that she had a child. ‘But I’ll need to ask questions afterwards.’
‘Afterwards,’ she agreed, but with a flash of insight he realised that she somehow didn’t believe there would be an afterwards.
‘My mother arranged for me to see a specialist,’ she continued. ‘The appointment was the day after you took me out for our special celebration meal.’
The day after he’d told her he loved her and had asked her to marry him. The day after she’d told him she loved him, too, and had accepted his ring. The day after they’d joined their lives together, believing it was for ever. But she didn’t have to say any of those things because they both knew.
‘His diagnosis…’ She drew in a shuddering breath and had to visibly push herself to continue. ‘His diagnosis forced me to realise that if you were ever going to have your dream—if you were ever going to be a doctor—I would have to leave you, because if I stayed…’ She bit her lip in a fruitless effort to steady her quavering voice. ‘It was only later, several months later when you’d already started your medical training, that I realised I was pregnant. You’d been so careful to protect me each time we…we were together that it never even crossed my mind.’
She closed her eyes as though picturing it all over again.
‘I’d been so lonely because I didn’t dare contact any of my friends, frightened that word would get back to my mother and she’d drag me off to yet another doctor when I knew it was a waste of time…
‘Somehow, when I knew about the baby, that I’d have a part of you with me for ever, it gave me the determination to go on, and within a matter of weeks someone came into the hotel lounge and heard me playing some of my own compositions on the piano.’
He’d read a version of that story when Faith Adams had burst upon the music scene all those years ago and had discounted it as a slick PR invention, but all the while she was talking his doctor’s brain was running through every illness he could think of, trying to work out what could possibly have been wrong with Faith that he’d never guessed.
‘Dammit, Faith,’ he exclaimed, unable to bear it any longer. ‘What was the matter with you that you didn’t think I could cope with? Was it cancer? For heaven’s sake, you had a place to study as a doctor at one of the top hospitals in the country. You could have had preferential treatment if you’d only said something.’
‘It wasn’t cancer,’ she said quietly, then put her hand out to steady herself against the piano as she stood up to face him, tilting her face up towards him. ‘I was going blind.’
‘Blind?’ he whispered in disbelief. He gazed into those unforgettable blue eyes, trying to see any evidence, but she was looking directly at hi
m the way she always had—the way many blind people could when they focused on the voice of the person speaking to them.
‘Mother was devastated and kept wanting to find another specialist and another one—anyone who could give me a different diagnosis—but after the third one said the same thing, I refused to go to any more. That’s when I left Rookmere.’
‘Why didn’t you come to me?’ he demanded, wounded to the core all over again. ‘You knew I loved you. I would have taken care of you and our baby.’
‘That’s why I couldn’t come to you,’ she insisted sadly. ‘I wanted to…you’ll never know how much I wanted to. I missed you so much I thought I would die, but I couldn’t do anything to stop you becoming a doctor.’
‘And when I qualified?’ he challenged. ‘What was your excuse then? Afraid of what the publicity might do to your career, or that I might want your money?’
‘Those thoughts never crossed my mind,’ she said quietly. ‘By that stage, my mother and I had settled our differences and even though she never knew who his father was, she loved DJ, unconditionally. I had actually decided to tell you but then I found out that you’d just got engaged and I was concerned that I might spoil your happiness. Your fiancée might not have been very understanding if a former girlfriend turned up with a child in tow.’
Quinn felt sick with the realisation that if it hadn’t been for that disastrous engagement, Faith would have told him about DJ years ago. He’d known that it had been a mistake to propose when he could never love Nerys the way he’d loved Faith…still loved her, in spite of everything. The thought that their short-lived engagement had stopped Faith from telling him about DJ was enough to bring him to his knees with regret.
‘I’m sorry, Quinn,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you—I never wanted to hurt you—but I didn’t want to ruin your life—’
‘You stupid woman!’ he exploded, finally giving in to the need to hold her. ‘Don’t you know that you ruined my life when you walked out of it? It’s only half a life if you’re not in it because you’re the other half of me.’
He bent his head to kiss her and unerringly she met his lips. He could taste the salt of her tears and wondered just how often she’d shed them in the years since she’d made her fateful decision. He could only imagine the courage it had taken to strike out on her own when it had seemed as if everything had been against her.
He would always regret that he hadn’t been there for her then, but if he had anything to say about it, she would never have to be lonely again.
‘So, how much can you see?’ Quinn asked Faith some time later, pressing a kiss to her head where it rested on his shoulder. The more he thought about it, the more obvious her lack of sight became, not least because of her frequent use of dark glasses. And he’d thought they were the affectation of a music star!
‘I wondered how long it would take you to ask.’ She chuckled. ‘I’m glad you decided there were other more important things to do first.’
‘First and second,’ he reminded her, his heart swelling at the happy sound of her laughter. ‘And if we’re lucky, there’s still dessert to come…but I mustn’t boast.’
‘Why not? To have the stamina of a teenager at your age is worthy of a bit of boasting,’ she teased.
‘At my age!’ he objected. ‘There are only a few months between us, so watch what you’re saying!’
Instead of retaliating, she grew silent for several moments.
‘That’s something I hadn’t thought about before,’ she murmured, lifting a hand to stroke his cheek and trace his jaw with exploratory fingers. ‘I can see light and dark and sometimes I see shadows of people moving, like fuzzy silhouettes against a screen, but without any details. In my mind’s eye you’ll always be the tall, dark, handsome young man I fell in love with because I’ll never see you grow old.’
He made a teasing reply, but he now had the knowledge that Faith wasn’t completely blind. Was there a chance that, with so many new techniques having been developed since her original diagnosis, there might be a chance for some improvement in her sight—enough at least for her to be able to see when his hair went grey?
That was a topic for another day, and would come with a solemn promise that whether she decided to see a specialist or not, he would accept her decision.
Today, in just a few more hours, their son was going to be released from hospital and they had a meeting with the architect about the plans for the Barton and…and none of it was as important as having Faith in his arms with no more secrets between them.
‘So, when are we getting married?’ he asked, hoping he sounded more confident that she would accept than he felt. If she’d been out of his sphere as a teenager, as a wealthy international star she was light years out of his orbit.
‘You still want to marry me, in spite of…?’
‘I’ve always wanted to marry you,’ he growled. ‘If you hadn’t come back into my life, I’d have turned into a crusty old bachelor, forever pining over my lost love.’ He may have sounded as if he was joking, but he wasn’t. He meant every word.
Suddenly, Faith turned away slightly to reach for the framed photograph on the bedside cabinet. When she slid seeking fingers over it he noticed the fine gold chain draped over the frame, and hanging from the chain…
‘It’s the ring you gave me,’ she whispered when she settled her head back against his shoulder. ‘It’s gone all around the world with me because I couldn’t bear to be without it.’
Quinn took the chain from her and released the catch to slide the ring off.
‘Will you wear it again, Faith? Will you marry me this time and be my love for ever?’
‘I’d love to wear your ring,’ she whispered, this time her eyes gleaming with happy tears. ‘And I can’t think of anything better than to be your love for ever.’ ‘Mum…Dad? I’m back!’ DJ called as he burst in through the renovated front door of what had once been the farm manager’s house on the Barton estate.
Quinn’s heart still leapt with pleasure every time he heard his son acknowledge their relationship, then he chuckled, knowing that their peaceful morning was shattered. Well, it would have been peaceful if they hadn’t been waiting on tenterhooks for DJ to return from school with his long-awaited exam results. If he got the grades he wanted, he would be taking up a place at the same hospital where Quinn had trained.
‘This is almost as bad as when we were waiting for our own results,’ Faith whispered, and he squeezed her hand in silent support.
‘So?’ he said when DJ finally appeared in the kitchen doorway. ‘Did you get good enough grades?’
‘Of course,’ he said airily—as though he hadn’t been driving them mad for weeks while he’d stewed over every paper he’d sat—then the ultra-cool pose shattered in a rafter-rattling whoop of elation.
Once the first round of hugs and congratulations were over Quinn wrapped an arm around Faith’s shoulders.
‘That’s three pieces of good news in one week,’ he announced. He brushed a kiss over Faith’s hair, knowing she was nervous about DJ’s reaction.
‘Three?’ DJ frowned, trying to work it out. ‘The first was the inspection that gave the official OK for the first kids to start coming to the Barton and the second’s obviously my results. What’s the third?’
‘The third is that in about seven months you’re going to be a big brother,’ Faith said with a smile that could have powered a small country.
‘Wow!’ DJ exclaimed, clearly stunned. ‘Really? Oh, wow!’ Then he chuckled. ‘Hey, Dad, you’ve been giving me the old birds-and-bees routine before I go off to med school. Perhaps you should have been taking your own advice.’
‘You don’t mind, do you?’ Faith asked anxiously. After the way his son had accepted him, Quinn wasn’t in any doubt about the answer, but he knew that she’d been wondering whether DJ would get his nose bent out of joint at the prospect of a sibling after all these years as an only child.
‘Mind? Why on earth
would I mind?’ he exclaimed, already part-way out of the room, doubtless on his way to run up another large bill on his mobile phone while he compared grades with his friends. ‘Now I’ll have everything I ever wanted.’
‘He’s right, you know,’ Quinn said as he kissed away the happy tears from Faith’s cheeks, gradually working his way towards her waiting mouth. ‘It might have taken us a little longer than most to get there, but we’ve finally got everything we ever wanted.’
‘The only sad thing is that my mother isn’t here to see it,’ she murmured softly. ‘After all, if she hadn’t put two and two together when you moved to Rookmere…’
That was something that still amazed Quinn
‘The last thing I expected when we returned from our honeymoon was Mr Protheroe delivering the letter he’d been holding for her on the off-chance that her matchmaking had been successful.’ It had also answered the questions left in his mind by that strange conversation he’d had with Constance Adamson.
It was Faith’s turn to chuckle as she settled her head on his shoulder. ‘Somehow, I’d never pictured my mother in the role of Cupid, in spite of the fact she was always telling me that I would be happier if I had a husband. Once she saw just how much alike you and DJ are…well, changing her will like that was one way to make sure we would be thrown together.’
‘There’s only one thing I miss, and that’s our midnight phone calls,’ he said over the sudden sound of a driving bass beat upstairs. ‘I never forgot the special intimacy of them when we were teenagers, so when we started talking again, it gave me hope that there was still something special between us.’
‘You don’t need the phone any more because I’m right there beside you,’ she pointed out logically.
‘I also don’t need to wait till midnight,’ he added, surprising a shriek out of her as he swung her off her feet and into his arms. ‘As your personal physician, I think it would be very good for you to go to bed for a rest now that you’re pregnant.’