by Elin Wyn
Sharing personal details never came easily to me.
As fucked up as it might be, my personal belief was that the more people knew about me, the more they could hurt me. That belief rang true more often than not. Aryn had been the only exception.
And then I blabbed everything to Orrin.
Well, almost everything.
I hadn’t told Aryn everything, either. I trusted Aryn enough to tell her the rest of the story, but I liked the friendship dynamic between us. I didn’t want to risk changing that, and it was easy to tell she’d been keeping her own secrets. We were both good with that.
And Orrin?
I trusted him.
Maybe.
I wasn’t sure.
What I felt for him didn’t resemble what I felt for Aryn, my only other friend.
Somehow, they were different.
The concept of trust was relatively foreign to me. I wasn’t sure if what I felt for him was trust. It could’ve been, but it was complex, layered.
This is why I didn’t seek out genuine relationships with other people. I liked clean lines and clear definitions, that’s what made me so good at my job.
People were more complicated.
Complicated meant trouble.
And I’d had enough trouble to last me a lifetime.
However, something in me must have trusted him on some basic level if I felt secure enough to share that much of my story.
I didn’t know if I could ever tell him the entire truth.
It was true that I joined the Space Force for the money, but that wasn’t the only reason.
The day I turned eighteen, two doctors came to our tiny apartment.
Unbeknownst to me, my mother had signed me up for an experimental fertility treatment.
The treatment was one of many that had been tested over the years to increase the likelihood of conceiving male children. I was to start the next day. The doctors gave me pamphlets on the treatment before they left. Reading them turned my stomach. It was an invasive treatment, to say the least.
Nothing I would’ve consented to on my own.
Due to the nature of the treatment, I would be kept in a special room within the nearest breeding facility. The first round of treatment would take nearly six months to complete. After that, I would be matched with a suitable male.
In order to prove the effectiveness of the treatment, I was required to produce three sons consecutively.
A pipe dream if there ever was one.
No one cared what I had to say.
Since I had been too young have my own bank account, my compensation would be wired directly to my mother.
I knew I’d never see a cent of it.
I’d made a mistake, knowing she’d been secretive for months.
I hadn’t been paying attention to my mother, her plans. Hadn’t made my own plans for the future.
And that mistake had nearly cost me everything.
I didn’t fully remember leaving my home that day. But I knew that I stood up, walked out the door, and walked to the Space Force office four miles from my house. I don’t remember signing up, but I do remember brandishing my enlistment papers for the Space Force like a weapon.
There was some debate. The contract for the fertility treatment was signed first; however, the Space Force papers held my own signature. Eventually, it was ruled that the Space Force contract outweighed a contract signed by my mother on my behalf.
My mother was furious, told me never to come back.
I didn’t. I wasn’t so dense as to believe my mother’s betrayal had no effect on me.
I knew it fucked me up. I would deal with it one day.
Maybe not today, but eventually.
After I left my home for the last time, I set up secret accounts for my four younger sisters, created automatic messages that would tell them everything once they became legal adults.
I poured almost everything I earned in the Space Force and then at Persephone Station into those accounts.
When my sisters turned eighteen, they would have choices I didn’t have.
They would be able to escape.
I didn’t regret setting up those accounts. I might not have been close with my sisters, but they were still my sisters.
“Maris.” Someone called my name, pulling me from my memories. Kalyn stood at the end of my table looking concerned.
“Hi,” I said, only a little lamely. Surely not enough to be noticed. “Need something?”
“I came to ask a favor, but I noticed you’re looking a little sad,” she said. “Are you okay?”
Shit. She noticed. “Yeah.” I managed a weak smile. “I didn’t sleep well last night, is all.”
“Oh.” I could tell she didn’t believe me. “Well, if anything is ever wrong, you know you can talk to me, right?”
“Thanks.” My smile was less forced now. I wouldn’t ever take Kalyn up on her offer, but I appreciated the offer nonetheless. “What can I help you with?”
“We’ve got a job.” Kalyn took a seat at one of the empty chairs. “But it’s not exactly our normal delivery gig.”
“We have normal?” I laughed, then waved away my comment. “Never mind that. Any sort of job will help Dejar stop stressing about our finances, right?”
“Hopefully,” Kalyn frowned. “It’s a little unusual, and we’re going to need your help.”
“How so?”
“The package in need of delivery is a family.”
“A family…of people?” I asked.
“As opposed to a family of shipping containers?” Kalyn laughed.
“That was a stupid question,” I admitted. “But the Rogue Star isn’t a leisure vessel. Our current guests are sleeping on mats in the cargo hold.”
“The family has been made aware. They believe that it’s the perfect disguise. No one will suspect that a cargo ship is carrying a civilian family,” Kalyn pointed out.
“It sounds like they’re trying to hide.” I narrowed my eyes. “What are they on the run from?”
“They are,” Kalyn replied. “Like us, they’re being unjustly hunted by the Dominion.”
I pushed back from the table, alarmed. “How does this help us keep a low profile?”
She shoved her hair back, eyes closed. The dark smudges under her eyes made me wonder how much Kalyn was staying up, worrying about the figures with Dejar. “I know, trust me. But Dejar is convinced that this is just a personal matter between this family and a local official. And honestly, there’s not much else coming our way.”
“Alright.” I bit my lip and swallowed any other comments I might have about the advisability of the job. “How can I help?”
“They’re hiring us to take them to a small planet less than a day’s journey from here. There’s a small colony forming, and they’re sure no one would ever think to look for them there.”
“How many passengers are we talking about?” I asked.
“Four in total. A husband, his wife, and their two children,” Kalyn explained.
I relaxed a little when she mentioned children. “That must suck for the kids,” I said.
“It can’t be easy.” She shook her head. “They’re young. They probably don’t understand what’s happening.”
“I hope the colony is the right choice for them,” I frowned.
“If they’re safe from the Dominion, I think it is,” Kalyn replied.
“What does this have to do with me? Do they need my room or something?” I asked.
“No,” Kalyn laughed. “The father is concerned about our ship being tracked and scanned during the voyage. We told him that we’d ensure our stealth systems were up to date. That falls to you and Orrin.”
“Does he know about this?” I asked.
“Not yet. I don’t like to disturb him while he’s in the workshop,” Kalyn admitted. “I was hoping you’d break it to him.”
“I think disturbing him is fun,” I smirked.
“I’m sure you do.” Kalyn flash
ed a grin and waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
“Don’t you make that face at me,” I warned her. “Just because you’re enjoying a taste of what a Shein male has to offer doesn’t mean the rest of us are following suit.” Her expression snapped to something halfway between outrage and amusement.
“Too far, Commander?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she laughed, cheeks a bright pink.
“I don’t always think before I speak,” I said by way of apology.
“No kidding,” Kalyn snorted. “Although, a little straightforwardnes is a commendable trait.”
“Maybe for people, but not for the ship, not on this run.” And, it was more than time for me to go. “I’ll go see what we can do to make the Rogue Star stealthier.”
Orrin
I had the Skimmer sitting in pieces around me. I was cleaning, reboring, and replacing parts from the engine to make it run smoother, faster. With everything we’d been up against lately, I figured making the Skimmer stronger wasn’t a bad idea.
“Wow, you really meant it when you said you were gonna tear things apart.”
I looked up from a converter that I was contemplating throwing away to see Maris standing over me.
“Did you really think I was exaggerating?”
“No, not really. What are you going to do with your hand?” she asked as she knelt down next to me. She was staring at my prosthetic arm, but not in a pitying way.
Almost in an envious, wouldn’t-that-be-useful way.
I’d designed my prosthetic to include a few gadgets that I utilized frequently. Once I got used to it all, I quite liked the convenience – it was like having tools always at my fingertips.
No pun intended.
“I’m working on the converter,” I answered her.
“What are you doing with the converter?” she asked.
“Probably going to throw it away. Or try and exchange it for something else before we leave the station. I’ve rebuilt this Skimmer thing so many times, I don’t think I can do it again.”
She held out her hand and I handed it to her. “Yeah, looks like it’s about done. Wow, and you haven’t replaced it?”
“Replaced it? I built it. They don’t make the converter I need anymore, so I had to build this one to fit the Skimmer.”
“Hmm,” she said as she handed it back to me. “Impressive.”
“Thank you.”
“Have you heard of the new job Captain Dejar took on?”
I set the converter down and grabbed a rag. “No. What are we doing?”
“Apparently, we’re picking up a family that’s looking to get somewhere in a hurry. Kalyn tells me the pay is decent, but we have some work to do.”
This piqued my interest. “What work?”
“It wouldn’t hurt to update the stealth systems again,” she answered.
The work we had already done on the engine in order to stay off sensors was mostly Maris’ work. She had also been the one that had been capable of changing our engine signature. “Okay. What did you have in mind?” I asked, wondering where this was going.
“We need to head back to the market and get a few things. I’ve got some ideas,” she said.
“Okay. While you get your disguise on, I’ll get this cleaned up.”
“You can put it back together while I’m getting my makeup on? You’re that fast?”
I snickered a bit as I got to my feet. “No, but I can order one of the others to put it back together. And you’re not that fast with the makeup, anyway.”
She stuck her tongue out, but remembering how upset she’d been about the smearing before, I knew she’d be extra careful.
“While we’re out, I’ll get what I need to build a new converter and finish it up when we’re done with your system.”
She headed off to get her makeup on while I went to find Dun, my second. I instructed him on what needed to be done with the Skimmer, then went back to the bay door to wait for Maris.
When she eventually appeared I could barely recognize her. She had gone with a light blue skin and had her hair tied back in a traditional Shein bun, purple lines swirling across her cheekbones.
I was at a loss for words.
“You might wanna close that up, you’re drooling,” she teased as she lightly tapped my chin.
“Uh, I…you…we…” I stammered as I followed her to the door.
“Aren’t you the articulate one?” she giggled as she entered her code to leave the ship. She teased me about my lack of speaking prowess for half the trip, as we headed into the market.
Even if the crooked shopkeeper wouldn’t recognize Maris, I didn’t feel like giving that thief any more of our money. There were plenty of other merchants happy to sell us the parts we needed, all without trying to overcharge us.
On the way back, Maris was in the middle of commenting on how nice our new merchant contacts were, when she suddenly stopped walking.
She got on her tiptoes and tried to see over the crowd.
I looked, but I didn’t know what I was looking for.
“What is it?”
With an impatient wave, she moved forward through the crowd. I followed.
“What is it?” I repeated.
She looked back at me, her eyes narrowed with concern and confusion. “I don’t know. Have you seen any of the other women on the ship? Not the humans. Do you know what they look like?”
“A bit,” I acknowledged. I’d seen them as they’d been brought on board but hadn’t wanted to be too close to them. I could imagine what they’d been through. They didn’t need another strange man in their space.
“Have you seen the one with the amber-colored eyes, doesn’t talk to anyone?”
“Oh, you mean the one you almost got into a fight with? Yes, I’ve seen her.”
She shot me a look, “You knew about that? Never mind,” she interrupted herself with a strong shake of her head. “I could have sworn I just saw her talking to some big, burly guy over there.” She pointed over by some textile vendors, their brightly colored wares bringing a desperate splash of color to their drab surroundings. I didn’t see who she was describing.
“I don’t see her,” I admitted, searching the area again.
Maris let out a muttered curse in surprisingly fluent Shein, which caused a mother to cover her son’s ears as they passed. Maris apologized and turned back to me. “Amber eyes. Claws for hands. Pissy attitude. Are you sure you didn’t see her?”
I nodded.
She threw her arms up, cursed again, and started walking towards the vendors. “What are you trying to do?” I asked as I caught up to her.
“Trying to find her, what else?”
“Well, do you see her?” We both looked around but saw no signs of the woman. “Because I don’t,” I said.
“No. I could have sworn I saw her here. What do you think?” She looked up at me and I could tell she was looking for validation.
“I think we need to get back to the ship and do what our three fearless leaders want us to do,” I said. I knew she was disappointed, but it didn’t last long.
“Three leaders?”
“Well, Dejar and Aavat run the ship, but Kalyn is starting to get some influence, so…”
“You forgot Kovor,” she shot at me good-naturedly as we headed back to the ship. “He’s going to have his feelings hurt. You’re such a meanie.”
In mock surprise, I shot back. “Me? I’m the soul of civility. A prince of kindness. The epitome of manners.”
We teased one another back and forth as we made it back to the ship.
But it all stopped when Shar and Dun met us at the door. “The alarm went off again,” Dun said. “We stopped it, but everyone is pretty riled up.
I apologized to him, then apologized again when they showed us the surveillance footage.
Again, there was nothing on the video.
“What the hell?” Maris was at a loss, as was I.
Dejar came down to ask about the
alarm. “We’ve got nothing, sir. It’s making no sense and pissing me off,” Maris answered him.
“Understandable. Just do your best to figure it out. Thank you,” he said and walked away.
“That was short and sweet,” Maris said as she took the wall panels off again. Dun already had my tools ready for me, so I merely nodded as I connected the diagnostic cables to the wiring and to my tablet. Yet again, nothing showed up as wrong.
“Okay, now I’m getting upset,” I said as I showed Maris the tablet. “Could we be crossed with another ship’s system, or maybe somehow connected to another door within the ship that is causing the sensor to go off?”
“I don’t know. It makes zero sense to me. Everything is wired right, so either there’s a short in the system somewhere like you’re suggesting, or…” she didn’t finish the thought.
I couldn’t finish it either. Something wasn’t right, but we couldn’t figure it out.
“Do we take it apart, again?” I asked. There had to be something else, something we hadn’t looked at.
“We might have to. Wait,” she turned around to look at the keypad. “What if we’re doing something wrong with the codes or something? What if the keypad is programmed wrong?”
“It’s the only idea we have, so let’s use it.” We got to work on the keypad, the wiring, and the panels that the keypad was attached to. While working, Maris’s hand brushed against mine.
Heat ran through my skin at her touch, and I froze.
Maris, brilliant, beautiful Maris had taken my words away dressed as a Shein.
But it wasn’t the disguise, it was her, olive skin and stormy eyes, her fast temper and her quick mind.
Just for a moment, I leaned into her, breathing her sweet smell, the urge to kiss her almost overwhelming.
Then I forced myself to stop.
While we had been getting along very well lately, I still remembered how she was at first and how I had treated her.
What if she didn’t want a kiss?
What if she only saw me as someone that she could work with and a kiss would violate her trust in me?
I didn’t want to lose that trust, or the friendship that I felt we had created.
Nothing was worth risking that.
“Can you hand me that?” I asked, pointing to the laser drill at the other side of her, and keeping my eyes fixed on the panel in front of me.