by M. J. O'Shea
I sensed his disappointment. He really did want to find the vampire who had killed his parents and nearly killed him as well. There was something else there other than disappointment, another vibe from Noah that worried me, but I couldn’t put my finger on the feeling so I tried to ignore it.
“So you guys hunt too?” I asked.
PC and Leila nodded.
“We try to deal with the problems before the human hunters catch wind of them. The bad seeds draw attention to us when we’d rather stay well under the radar. They don’t do much for our campaign to make the hunters believe that we’re decent, either. The more violence caused by rogues, the worse it makes us look.”
PC’s explanation made perfect sense, but it didn’t mean I wanted Noah out hunting. I wished there was some way I could tell him not to without sounding completely selfish. PC turned to my quietly frustrated boyfriend, who’d looped his arm around my shoulders.
“We’ll keep you in on what’s happening with this new group, Noah. You’ll know everything the second we find it out.”
“Thanks, guys.” He still seemed a little down, but it was understandable. I became even more resolved to talk to him later. I squeezed Noah gently with my hand that was resting on the back of his hip. He looked down at me and gave me a small smile before returning his gaze to the others.
“Hey, guys, I think Zack and I are going to head out. I need to make a snack run before we head home.” I got a warm little feeling in my stomach when he called the apartment home. Leila gave Noah a searching look. I thought maybe she could also tell there was something up. Leila and, surprisingly, Sabina gave each of us long hugs. Jason and PC both waved.
“Night, everyone,” I said as we headed for the door.
“Be careful, you two,” Leila cautioned.
Okay, she’s definitely reading it too.
Underneath the resignation, it was there. And I’d figured out what it was. That was one thing about knowing my boyfriend so damn well. I’d always been able to tell when he was planning something, and he was definitely planning something. It scared the hell out of me. I’d seen that look on his face when we were kids and he’d told his mother he wouldn’t climb the big oak in their yard. We’d ended up in the emergency room that night while he had his sprained wrist wrapped up. If I’d been there the night he slipped out on his parents, I’m sure I’d have seen it then too.
I knew damn well Noah wanted to go after those vampires. It would be better for him to be part of the group than to go off looking on his own. I knew he’d done it before—acted on a rash gut feeling. The result of that night was his parents’ death and his transformation. I was afraid this time would be worse.
Chapter Ten: Make Me Like You
WE WERE in a cab heading toward a neighborhood I knew wasn’t one you should be in during broad daylight, let alone in the middle of the night. I hadn’t been paying much attention when he gave the driver an address, but I sure was now. All my instincts were on overload. Noah may have been a vampire, but neither one of us was the biggest of guys, and there were large men with very large weapons in this part of town.
“Noh, what the hell are we doing here? This is the kind of neighborhood where guys like us get our asses kicked. Or worse.”
He grinned at me. “I can take them, babe. Don’t worry. I have to make a stop. I wasn’t kidding earlier about needing a snack.”
I gestured at myself silently, not wanting the cab driver to hear anything. I was beyond paranoid about Noah’s family. I had no idea who was working for them. Noah shook his head. I could see him trying to figure out how he was going to answer in generalities.
“You only have that nice gourmet stuff at your place. I wouldn’t want to waste it when I’m hungry,” he said. “It would be like gulping down my parents’ reserve label wine because it was hot out.”
“But if the reserve label is already at home, can’t you just drink it anyway?”
Noah shook his head. “Too thirsty. I need volume.”
I got it. He didn’t want to drink too much from me. It would be like using me instead of only drinking for our mutual pleasure. I got it, but I didn’t like it. I noticed we were pulling over in front of a bar that made the one back in Lewis County look like the lobby of a Sheraton.
“Why this place?” I made a face.
“They have great appetizers. Plus, since it’s such a hole in the wall, the foodies haven’t found it yet.”
Got it again. There wouldn’t be any of the usual crowd there to recognize him. We paid the driver his fare and climbed out of the taxi. I felt immediately uncomfortable.
“Do not leave my side in this place. I wouldn’t bring you in here, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”
I shook my head, eyes going a little wide. “Don’t worry. There is no way I’ll be wandering off.”
“Good,” he answered and held my hand tightly.
THE INSIDE of the bar redefined the word dingy. If the other place was glamorous and wild and lush, then this place was, well, it was disgusting. There really wasn’t a more descriptive word for it. I could imagine why the other vampires didn’t go there. It was the size of a closet and it looked as if it could impart disease to any susceptible creature. I didn’t touch anything, simply kept close contact with Noah as we worked our way into the room. There were a few shifty-looking characters sitting at the bar and a lady with half a mouthful of teeth swaying to whatever hit from the seventies was playing on the jukebox. I wanted to shudder but held it in. I didn’t think this was the kind of place where it would be a good idea to offend anyone.
It definitely was the kind of place where you wanted to get in quickly and get out. Noah found a willing guy to feed from over by the pool tables. He was the only halfway-decent-looking one of the lot. After Noah finished, we fended off a few annoying advances and got into a cab as quickly as possible. I was more than happy to get out of there—and looking forward to taking a shower the minute we got home.
The second cab had a plastic partition between the driver and us so we could actually talk without worrying about being overheard. I finally let out the shudder I’d been holding onto for the past twenty minutes. Noah laughed.
“I’d never been to that place. Only heard about it. Pretty gross, huh?”
“Yeah. I don’t ever want to go there again. I feel like I contracted something just by breathing the air.”
He chuckled again. “Next time I think I’ll risk being seen and go to the regular place.”
“There’s a ‘regular’ place?”
“Uh-huh. It’s up off of Park and 104th. You’d be amazed how many vampires live on Park Avenue.”
It was my turn to laugh, picturing the Chanel-suited socialites whipping out their fangs to suck down blood. I sat quietly for a few moments, watching the lights of the city creep by. It wasn’t long before I had to talk, though. I was bursting at the seams. There was so much I didn’t know.
“Okay, so I have a few questions.”
“More?” Noah teased. “Just kidding. I’m sure you’re going to have a million questions. There are things that I don’t even understand yet.”
“Why does PC’s mother look like a teenager?” I’d been collecting my list all night. I hoped that was an easy one to start with.
“Mainly the same reason why I’ll still look like one in twenty years. Their maturing process freezes when they start phasing. If they stop phasing for a long time, they’ll start to age again, but none of them ever really do.”
“So they’re immortal too?”
“Basically. But lycans are on the endangered species list just like vampires are. Neither one of us tend to last long enough to prove the immortality theory.” He smiled. “Except Leila. I’d call that pretty damn close to immortal.”
I wasn’t done with the confusing lycans. “But PC said she married a human. His father is human?”
“Was. She changed him. He’s not a full lycan. You have to be born one to be considered that. But h
e phases too, and he doesn’t age anymore. Changed lycans can’t control it as well, I’ve heard. You know, I don’t know all that much about them. These lycans are a close-knit group. A bit closed off from the rest of us.”
“What about Jason? Is he getting older?”
“Really slowly. I think he’s about seventy. Witches outlast regular humans by a lot, but they’re not quite like us. They’ll still get older.”
I chuckled sarcastically. “This sucks. I’m the only one aging and I’m the only one without cool tricks. Speaking of tricks, what is the deal with glamouring anyway? Have you ever done it to me?”
“No. Of course not. I would never do that to you. How could I ask you to trust me if I did? Besides, you’d know. You can tell when you’re being glamoured. From what I’ve heard, you know you’re being convinced to do something you don’t want to do, but you can’t bring yourself to care.”
“So when have you done it?” I could see Noah’s face turn red even in the darkness of the cab. I smiled and poked him in the side. “Tell me.”
“Well, your mother didn’t want to let you come to New York with me.” He looked so ashamed that I had to laugh. I’d have given anything to be able to pull that kind of trick on my mom when I was younger.
“You know I would have come anyway. I’m old enough that I don’t have to listen to her. You just made the whole situation more pleasant.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Of course not. Envious is more like it.” He winked at me. “So how did you know she wasn’t going to come around on her own?”
“I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people. From what I could tell, she doesn’t have any problems with us being a couple; I just think she didn’t like the idea of us living together in the city. She doesn’t think it’s… proper or something.”
“Oh Jesus. Is it the eighteen hundreds?”
Noah grinned. “Give your mom a break. She’s just watching out for you. She probably doesn’t want me to take you for granted. I wish I could show her how I feel about you. I don’t think she has a clue what you mean to me.”
I leaned over and kissed him, slow and soft. “I know how you feel. That’s enough for me.”
“NOH? ARE you awake?” We’d been lying down for about twenty minutes but the silence was making me itchy. It was probably close to dawn, but I wasn’t tired at all. The night had given me so much to think about that the idea of sleep was impossible.
“Yeah, I’m awake.” He scooted closer to me and turned me so we were facing each other, faces only inches apart. “I can hear your brain spinning. What’s going on in there? More questions?” He ran his fingers through my hair, pushing it off my face.
I took a deep breath. Here goes….
“Listen, Noah. I don’t want you to have to protect me. I know you said you would, but wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t need to?”
He sighed, then leaned his face in and nuzzled my lips softly. “How long have you been thinking about it?”
“Consciously? Since last night. After your grandpa.”
“I’ve thought about it too. Even before that,” he confessed. I was shocked. I’d expected a huge argument out of him.
“So you’d be willing to turn me?” I was quiet and hesitant, not wanting to push my apparent luck.
“You’d be willing to turn for me?”
I thought about it for about two seconds; then I nodded. “It would be for both of us. I need to be with you, and I don’t want you always to have to be watching over me. It’s not fair to either of us. I want you to be my boyfriend, not my bodyguard.”
“But if you become a vampire, you’re going to be hunted. Just like I am.”
“I’m already hunted. Wasn’t your grandfather going to kill me so I’d be quiet?”
“Yeah, but he’d forget about you. If I weren’t here, you could disappear and no hunter would ever come looking for you.”
I slugged him on the arm. “That’s the last time I want to hear about you taking off on me. We’re in this together, whether I’m a human or a vampire or a horny toad, got it?”
He made a little snorting noise and smiled. “And you really would be okay with becoming like me?”
“Yes. Then we could watch out for each other.”
“You know, it’s not the protecting thing at all, Zack; at least not for me. As far as I’m concerned, that has nothing to do with it. I’d defend you in a heartbeat, just like you did with my grandfather. Even if you become a vampire, I’ll still want to protect you because I love you.” He stopped and kissed me. “For me, it’s more the idea of getting to have you by my side always. I can’t imagine ever finding someone else like you. Not in a hundred lifetimes.”
I wrapped my upper leg around his hips and pulled him as close as I could. “Me neither,” I whispered and gave him a soft kiss. “So when are we going to do this? Now?”
He chuckled softly. “Impatient, aren’t we? No, I don’t want to rush into it before I know what I’m doing. I’ve never even seen someone get turned. I want to talk to Leila and make sure I’m doing it the best way for you.”
“But you won’t back out?”
He closed his eyes and squeezed me close. “No. If you’re really sure that this is what you want too, then I won’t back out.” He kissed me slowly, his lips lingering. “I can’t wait to be with you forever, Zack Parker.” He trailed his lips down the side of my neck. If it was physically possible, I would’ve melted into a puddle all over my bed.
“I can’t wait either.” I was trying to stay rational. It was just hard with him licking and sucking and breathing on the tiny hairs of my nape. “I will miss the, uh, biting a little,” I confessed.
Noah growled softly and nicked my skin, licking the tiny drop of blood that came from it. I shivered violently and grabbed at him, wanting more.
“It won’t be gone, just different,” he told me when we’d both gained a bit of equilibrium.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know what it’s like from personal experience, but vampires can feed off of each other. It doesn’t sustain us at all, but it’s supposed to feel amazing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, kinda like being the vampire and the human all at once. Or so I’ve heard.”
I couldn’t even imagine. “And you never tried it?”
He shook his head. “Didn’t really want to. I mean, it’s incredibly intimate and vulnerable, way more than sex. It would have to be with the right vampire.”
“Like me?” I gave him a sly smile.
“Yes, like you,” he replied, rubbing his nose against mine.
“So you’re going to talk to Leila?” He nodded. I wound my fingers into his hair and gave him a long kiss. “We should go to sleep. It’s nearly dawn.”
“Okay,” he mumbled against my lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whispered and closed my eyes. I still had a million more questions—maybe two or three million—but I felt much better. I hadn’t realized just how much that conversation needed to happen. It was such a relief to know that he actually wanted it too. I closed my eyes, my body finally feeling restful and quiet. I couldn’t wait to be with Noah forever, just like he’d said. I smiled and finally let myself fall asleep.
WHEN I awoke, the faint glow from the afternoon sun was pushing in around the edges of my curtains, and Noah’s soft lips were brushing little kisses across my chest and my collarbone.
“Morning, babe,” he said in that rough, barely awake voice I loved. “Or should I say good afternoon?”
I smiled sleepily at him. “Hi.”
I reached up for a kiss. His lips were warm and familiar. I hummed happily.
“You know, you promised me something yesterday. I think I’m going to hold you to that promise.”
“What did I promise?” It was so hard to remember anything at all with him kissing the curve of my ear.
“That you’d finish what you started,” he breathed a
nd pulled my boxers over my hips.
Oh. That.
My heart pounded in my throat. I wanted him more than anything, but I was afraid I would hurt him or not make it good enough. What if he didn’t like it?
“So, I have a confession.”
“What, babe?”
He kissed my neck. It took a second for me to remember what I was trying to tell him.
“Well….” It wasn’t a big deal, but I hated to admit it. “I’ve never exactly been on top before.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It seemed like too much responsibility—you know, to make sure it was good for the other person. But I want to with you. I really do. I’m just afraid that I’ll suck.”
He chuckled and rolled us over so I was on top of him, straddling his thighs. “You won’t suck, I promise.”
“So you aren’t worried that I don’t know what I’m doing?”
He smiled and pulled me down so I was sprawled across him. “Do you love me?”
“You know I do.”
“And you care about making me feel good?” I nodded. “Then it will be fine. I actually like the idea. I’ve been wishing that we’d waited for each other. Now in a way, we have. We’re both about to do something we’ve never done before. That’s one way to look at it, right?”
I smiled and nodded, feeling dumb because there were tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. “And you’ll tell me what feels good?”
“Yeah, I’ll tell you, just like you always tell me.” He grinned. My face turned red. “Shut up,” I grumbled, mashing my face against his chest. He threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead, chuckling.
“You have to know how much I love when you tell me what you want. When your voice gets all out of control.”
“Well, in that case,” I murmured kissing his lips, his cheeks, the tip of his nose. “What do you want?”
His eyes grew heated. “I want you.” He breathed and arched his neck into my groan. “Make me yours, Zack.”