by M. J. O'Shea
Mine.
I had a momentary reaction to the thought of her touching even a single honey-gold inch on Xan’s beautiful body before I realized she was my friend and was teasing me. I couldn’t believe how possessive I’d gotten. I forced myself to chuckle.
“Good luck with that. I’ve known him since we were toddlers.” I grinned at her. “But I will invite you next time we go out. The bar has lots of cute boys to look at. Some of them aren’t even vampires.”
Indigo snorted. “I can’t even imagine my mom’s face if I came home with a vampire. That would be worth it just to watch her fume.” Indigo’s eyes switched from blue to a lively kelly green.
“I can’t wait to tell my mom that her son’s a wolf. Or will be soon.”
I actually relished the look on their faces when I decided to tell them. I didn’t feel the need to trot on over there and do it right away. It was my life, not theirs. And since I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be a hunter anymore, they didn’t need to know what I’d become until I chose to let them know. When I felt like it. On my own time.
“Can you wait until I’m there?” Indigo asked with a laugh. “I’d be too terrified to actually stand up to my mother, so I’ll have to live vicariously through you.”
“Sure thing,” I said. I wouldn’t, of course. But the thought of extra backup did sound awfully nice.
THE FIRST time I turned into a wolf, it was really weird. Weird but somehow the most natural thing in the world. By the time I turned, I’d been having more and more wolf-like feelings every day. I swear I wanted to rip anyone’s neck out if they dared look at Xan, and I didn’t like when Zack or Noah came up to our greenhouse, even though they were my friends and it was perfectly rational for them to come up and grab us every once in a while. And then there was the food. I burned through food like there was no bottom to my stomach.
PC had been working with me, to help get me used to how I felt nearly all the time. I’d been getting frustrated, though, when he explained to me that I needed to be chill about letting people around my room. Especially in the summer, everyone would want to get on the roof to barbecue and hang out. I couldn’t be all weird and protective about it then.
“But that’s just for Xan and me. I don’t want to share,” I grumbled.
“Man, you are a wolf,” he muttered. “I’d hate to see what happened if someone hit on Xan in front of you.”
And that was all it took. Seriously. Just the thought of a stranger touching Xan without my permission triggered this crazy, ripping tingle to course through my body. Next thing I knew, I was sprawled out on the ground and scrambling to get up onto four legs. Four. I whimpered, but then turned to see a huge red-gold wolf standing next to me.
PC didn’t say anything, but I felt his presence next to me, letting me know not to freak out. I looked at the ground. My paws were pale, unlike his, nearly white if not completely. And they were far smaller, even though I wasn’t that much smaller than PC in human form.
The front door opened, and Xan walked in with Miles, Zack, and Noah, who had all gone out to rent a couple of movies for later.
“Babe?” Xan froze in the doorway, staring at me. I understood him clearly, which was surprising. I padded awkwardly across the room until my side was bumping up against his thigh. His smell was even stronger than usual.
Xan reached down hesitantly to touch my head, and I nuzzled into him. It felt natural to let him touch me. There was a slight energy burst at my side: it was PC shifting into human form. He grabbed the blanket that Zack and Noah had on their couch and draped it around himself.
“He did it by accident,” PC muttered. “Usually it’s really hard for a made lycan to shift the first time. I have no idea how he did it that easily.”
Yeah, but how the hell am I supposed to get back? I rubbed up against Xan again for comfort. He’d always been my comfort, and I supposed he always would be.
“He’s so pretty,” Zack said quietly. He reached forward to touch my face. He wasn’t threatening, so I let him. I liked how it felt when he scratched my muzzle.
“White wolves are pretty rare,” PC said. Of course, naturally blond adults are pretty rare too. “Wonder if he’ll always be small?”
I wanted to object to his comment, but there was no use. Of course I was small. Figured. I sat, again somewhat awkwardly, next to Xan and nuzzled my head into his hand. He automatically scratched between my ears and I shivered under my fur. I was really going to learn to like that.
PC chuckled. “I probably do need to take Charlie into another room with no distractions so I can teach him how to change back,” he said, giving Xan’s hand a pointed look. I raised my lips off my fangs.
“Stand down, junior. I’m just trying to help.” PC grabbed my ruff and tugged me back toward the guest room. “Babe, can you bring my clothes and toss them on the bed so I can change?” he called back to Miles. I thought it was cool how I could understand him just like I did when I was in person form.
When the door was shut, PC turned to me. “Okay, this is both really hard and super easy. You’ll need to picture your human body and just kinda melt into it. You’ll get tingly, but that’s normal, so don’t freak out.”
Oh, that’s it, is it? Just picture my human body and melt into it. Pshh.
It took me a good half an hour of picturing before I was standing in front of PC buttass naked in my pale, skinny human body. Talk about embarrassing. Of course, I blushed like a moron.
“Umm, lemme get some clothes,” I muttered and dug in my dresser for a new pair of underwear and some jeans.
“You did fine. I’ll work with you, and it’ll get to the point where you don’t even have to think about it.”
I nodded. “Thanks. I didn’t think it would happen like that.”
“You and me both. C’mon, let’s go out before they start the movie. We’ll end up on the floor if we don’t hurry.”
Chapter 19: The Forest Again
“YOU GUYS need anything else before you head out?” Zack asked. Noah was in the shower getting ready for the evening. Part of me was sorry that Xan and I weren’t going to hang out with everyone and blow off some steam, but I knew he really needed to get back to the Forest, and I was more than happy to go with him. Our little greenroom was a good substitute, but nothing was as good for Xan as his home.
Xan groaned. “Please don’t ask him that.”
I glanced at the duffel that was already overfull. I’d be lugging that all the way to the Forest, and I’d probably only use about a third of it. “Well, I do have a few midterms when we get back. I guess I could bring my books too.”
Xan pinched me hard on the side. “Don’t even think about it.” He turned to Zack. “You guys heading out on Tuesday night?”
Zack nodded. “And you’re sure it’s okay?”
Everyone knew that dryads didn’t react well to vampires, even on the best of days.
“Of course. You guys are practically family… well, family-in-law, I suppose.” He smiled at me and put his hand on my lower back. “My mom has even covered the windows on the empty cabin so you two and Miles have somewhere comfortable to stay during the day.”
“It’ll be nice to get out of the city. Noah used to spend so much time at his lake house that I think he gets a little claustrophobic here.”
Xan nodded emphatically. “I totally hear that. Anyway, we’d better head out if we’re going to catch the last bus to Connecticut. See you Tuesday?”
Zack nodded. “Yep. And you two have fun while you can.” He turned to me. “PC is already getting pumped about teaching you to be a real lycan, whatever that is. My guess is you’re going to be doing whatever he has up his sleeve for most of break.”
I snorted. “Fantastic. At least they’re not going to kill me.”
WE WAVED good-bye to Zack and caught a cab to the station. I fell asleep on the bus, head on Xan’s shoulder and hand loosely draped over his leg. I didn’t like the bus much better than Xan did these days. I wond
ered if it had something to do with the new wolf in me not wanting to be confined to a place not of my choosing.
It was late when we got to New Haven. I figured it was time to talk to my parents. Colin was being surprisingly cool about pretty much everything lately. I had to wonder if that had anything to do with our little showdown. Or maybe it was Amanda and the fact that he was most likely getting laid on a regular basis. Gross, but good for me.
At least I could still go to class once I got my body under control—and I’d be a hell of a lot harder to kill. Combined with Xan’s protection, which he gave because he loved me and not because of my dryad-avenger status, I was safer than I’d ever been in my life. I figured I’d smooth over the part where I was a wolf and focus on how safe I was. The conversation should go smoothly. I hoped.
My mom was waiting when I opened the door and she pounced on me with a huge hug.
“I can’t believe you didn’t come before now. It’s been weeks.”
I sighed. Here we go. “Mom, I told you on the phone that I was fine.”
Just about then my dad came into the room. Xan waited in the corner. He was giving me space to deal with my parents, but I knew that if I needed him, he’d step in immediately.
“What were you thinking, getting involved in that mess in the city, son?” my dad said. Even my mom shot him a glance.
Part of me wanted to cower, or just turn around and leave, but I was better than that and they needed to see it.
“I was doing what I was born to do, Dad. It was my job to take out Komarov and it was Xan’s job to be there with me. The only reason I’m not dead is because of him and because Noah helped me learn a few things.”
My father’s face went angry. “We told him not to.”
“But don’t you see how stupid that was to keep me in the dark? What happened out there, that was going to happen no matter what. It was time. Komarov was out in the open—he had to be taken down or he’d have kept going until he leveled the whole damn city.”
“Charlie, language,” my mother muttered. “Maybe if we just sit down for dinner and talk about it later….” I’d never seen my mother so interested in keeping the peace.
“No. You need to hear this. Both of you.” I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand. Just get it over with. “It was stupid and irresponsible of me to take off to Romania on my own. No doubt.” My dad started to speak and I raised my hand up to stop him. “But it was just as stupid and irresponsible for you two to refuse to train me, especially after Komarov escaped and was out on the loose. All the signs were there that this was the time, that it was me who’d have to deal with him. If I hadn’t had Xan or Noah….” I shrugged.
“We were just trying to keep you safe,” my mom said quietly. “This life isn’t the place for you.”
“It might not be. I might never be a hunter, but I’m in this life no matter what. Komarov turned me.” Talk about a room silencer. Both my parents gaped at me. “I’m a lycan.”
My mom reached up to touch my hair, like it would feel different, or maybe like she wasn’t sure I was her son anymore. “How did we not hear?”
“Nobody knows yet. We’re going to the council next week when we get back to the city. They’ve had enough on their plate since the break-in. Only my friends have been told… and Colin, who actually kept his mouth shut for once.”
“Are you sure?”
I nearly laughed at that. I was surprised by how quietly they were taking everything. I guess something in me had changed. Or maybe my nearly getting skewered by Komarov had shaken them.
“Pretty sure, since I’ve already turned into a wolf—oh, and I claimed Xan as my mate.” Might as well lay it all on them at once.
“Bu—”
“Listen,” I interrupted my father. “Xan and I are going to head out to the forest for the break, but I’ll stop by on the way back into the city. We can talk some more.”
Yeah, I’d needed to tell them how I felt about everything they’d done, or not done, but they were still my parents and I loved them. There was no point in being mean.
They simply nodded.
I gave both my parents a hug and turned to leave, sticking a hand out for Xan to grab it.
“Charlie?” My mom called when we were about halfway down the walk.
“Yes?” I paused.
“Be safe out there.”
I smiled at my mom. “Don’t worry. I think I’ll be fine.”
“SO THAT wasn’t too bad, right?” I asked. I was still a bit high from nerves.
“Not at all. You were hard core,” Xan teased me. He nudged my hip with our twined fingers. I laughed and hip checked him back.
Xan and I walked, hands loosely linked, from the station to the trailhead at the woods. The walk used to seem long, but my body was teeming with energy I never used to have. That had been hard to get used to as well. I was usually either ready to take off running and jumping or ready to slip into a nap. There didn’t seem to be much middle ground. I didn’t hate it at all, but my energy swings made normal human life a bit hard. Something else I’d have to talk to PC about, I supposed.
The night was full of sounds, of the world awakening after a long freezing winter. Birds and bugs, and the ground quickening, warm wind coming from the south. Spring was on its way in full force. I couldn’t wait to lie out in the warmth and bask in the sun.
“HERE WE are,” Xan murmured with a smile when we came to the waterfall.
And that’s when I felt it, coming from the other side of the cave. The Forest was calling me, like it never had before. It sensed that I belonged there, that I was one of its magical creatures, and it welcomed me.
“C’mon, Xan. Let’s go!”
He chuckled at my enthusiasm and let me lead him under the spray and through the cave until we came out in the summery darkness of the Forest. Yes. This is where I belong. I felt it in my bones. I lifted my head to the new moon and let it rush through my body. I wanted to run, free in the woods with no one near other than my chosen mate and the sparkling stars. I unbuttoned my shirt.
“What are you doing, babe?”
I couldn’t explain it other than the fact that I needed to be free of the normal world. “I want to run,” I told him. “Will our bags be safe here for a while?”
“Of course,” Xan answered with a smile. He put everything on the ground. I slipped the rest of my clothes off and concentrated like PC had taught me until I felt it, that odd tingling feeling that started in my belly and radiated out to my toes until I was on all fours, my paws sinking happily into the ground.
“You’re so beautiful,” Xan said reverently, running his hands through my fur. It tickled. I sank down onto my haunches and let him scratch my back before I rolled over so he could pet my belly too. It was different than when he touched me when I was in human form: Amazing and full-body-shiver-inducing, but nothing sexual, just comforting. “Ready to go?” he asked me.
I whined in response. Xan grinned and stripped his shirt off as well, removed his shoes and socks, and rolled his pants up. He cocked his head as if to say “Follow me” and took off running into the trees. I followed him in an easy canter, still getting accustomed to my new legs.
We ran through the trees for hours, sometimes with me on the ground and him hopping through branches, sometimes keeping pace with each other weaving through the underbrush. We didn’t stop until it was nearly dawn when we trailed ourselves, tired but happy, to the little hidden pool where only guardians and their Fitzgeralds ever went. We collapsed on the soft grass as the first morning rays warmed our skin. I slid into my human form, shivering at the tingling sensation, and wrapped my naked body around his.
“Morning,” I murmured. “That was fun last night.”
“Mm-hm. Happy spring break.” Xan’s fingers trailed up my back, still sweaty from our long run through the woods. “Sleep here for a while?”
“Sure, if no one’s missing us.” I was comfortable on the soft mossy shore with Xan’s arms
around me. I didn’t want to move if I didn’t have to.
“Nah. They know we’re here. It’s fine. Go to sleep, love.”
“’Kay,” I murmured and burrowed into his chest, rubbing my face against him. He smelled so good, familiar and sexy and perfect. “Love you,” I mumbled just before I fell asleep.
“Love you too,” he answered.
Then we fell asleep, bathed in sunlight, in the place that to me was already beginning to feel like home.
M.J. O’SHEA has never met a music festival, paintbrush, or flower crown she can stay away from. She loves rainstorms and a perfect cup of tea, beach days, music, bright colors, and more than anything a cozy evening with a really great book.
She is from the Pacific Northwest. While she lives there still and loves it, M.J. has the heart of a wanderer. So she puts all her dreams of far-off places and extraordinary people in her books.
Except for every once in a while when she does what all travelers have to do on occasion… come home.
E-mail: [email protected]
Website: mjoshea.com
Twitter: @MjOsheaSeattle
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HARMONY INK PRESS
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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© 2016 M.J. O’Shea.
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