Serial Killer Princess

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by RJ Blain


  “Shouldn’t you have asked that earlier?” I shrugged, grimacing at the pull of strained muscles. “I shifted enough times that if I cracked anything, it’ll hold.”

  “I should have, but I didn’t realize how bruised you were. You seemed energetic. After, we were too busy wrestling to worry about it. I’ll know better in the future. You have no sense of self-preservation.”

  “Lately, I haven’t,” I agreed. “I’m usually a lot more careful. I’m just tired. I’m tired of running, hiding, and waiting to be hunted down, too.”

  “Well, there’s no reason you can’t rest, relax, and regroup for a while. Once you’ve had a chance to heal, we can evaluate the situation. I’ll definitely need to research your kills and find out how hard it’ll be to hide them—or create enough evidence to legalize your targets. I expect this’ll cost your father a great deal of money. It’ll make him feel better about himself, especially when he realizes you’re as much of a predator as him and your mother. Gorgon females are vicious, but only when they’re threatened. That’s a trait of the males, and males are rare.”

  “My father is an endangered species?”

  “Essentially. From what I can tell, he wants to begin rebuilding his hive with your mother as his harem queen. He was hoping to begin gathering new females by making an arrangement with another hive, trading the matured daughters of a hive. In exchange, you’d become a gorgon prince’s surrogate, his harem queen. Your father’ll have to make another plan, as I’m going to claim you for myself despite his wishes.”

  “You tricked me,” I accused. “You ran so I’d chase you.”

  “And I hoped you were as weak against bacon as your father. In case you were wondering, you’re even worse.”

  “I also have a weakness for lollipops.”

  “Only the ones with pixie dust in them.”

  “Well, yes. Why else would I want a lollipop?”

  “I can probably make sure you get a lollipop now and then if you’re good.”

  A better woman wouldn’t have fallen so easily to bribes. “How am I supposed to be good?”

  “You’ll let me carry you to bed, get you tucked in, and I’ll call in a doctor to make certain you’re all right. Then I’m going to join you in bed and mark my territory until there’s no doubt you’re mine.”

  “I have this tendency to want to bite,” I warned him.

  “I’m sure I can handle whatever you throw at me. If you like to bite, bite. You’re not going to hurt me. Even if you do, I’ll heal. I’m just worried I’ll hurt you.”

  I hissed. “I’m not a fragile little flower.”

  “No, you’re not. You didn’t even need us to come to your rescue, did you?”

  “The minotaur would’ve gotten bored and wandered off eventually—or I would’ve dropped on his stupid head and bitten him so many times he frothed at the mouth. Either way, I would’ve won. You just made my escape easier.”

  “And you really weren’t lured there?”

  “No. I told you, I was bored. I decided to see if I could solve a mystery. I just did a sweep of the forest and nosed around as a snake until I found the minotaur’s lair. I found a bunch of camping gear on top of one of those stone pillars, so I figured there was a body in the area. I’d been searching for bones. If I found any, I was going to send them to a lab for identification, then I’d handle it depending on what I found. That’s usually how I find a serial killer; I find the victims first, learn what I can about them, then go after their killer.”

  “How long can you go before you get bored?”

  I laughed and shrugged. “Not long. Sorry.”

  “It’s a good thing I appreciate a challenge. It wouldn’t do for either one of us to get bored.”

  To be continued…

  Want to continue reading more stories by RJ Blain? Check out her other novels or join her mailing list.

  Afterword

  Unlike other Magical Romantic Comedies (with a body count,) Serial Killer Princess is only the beginning.

  There will be other tales of Tulip and Justin told. I expect the continuation of their misadventures to release in 2019, although I’m not guaranteeing the date.

  Serial Killer Princess 2 will be fun, and I look forward to going on a brand new adventure with this crazy couple with you.

  As always, all mistakes found within this book are my own. (Hi, Evil Editor Lady! I swear, I was only trying to fix it…)

  ~RJ

  About the Author

  Want to hear more from the author? Sign up for the Sneaky Kitty Critic’s newsletter!

  RJ Blain suffers from a Moleskine journal obsession, a pen fixation, and a terrible tendency to pun without warning.

  * * *

  When she isn't playing pretend, she likes to think she's a cartographer and a sumi-e painter.

  * * *

  In her spare time, she daydreams about being a spy. Should that fail, her contingency plan involves tying her best of enemies to spinning wheels and quoting James Bond villains until she is satisfied.

  * * *

  RJ also writes as Susan Copperfield and Trillian Anderson.

  If you enjoy using bookbub, you can follow RJ and her alter ego Susan there.

  thesneakykittycritic.com

  Magical Romantic Comedies (with a body count)

  Playing with Fire

  Hoofin’ It

  Hearth, Home, and Havoc

  Whatever for Hire

  Serial Killer Princess

  No Kitten Around (Late 2018)

  Saddle Up (2019)

  Grave Humor (May 2019)

  Dragon Her Heels (Late 2019)

  From Witch & Wolf World

  Series: Witch & Wolf

  Inquisitor

  Winter Wolf

  Blood Diamond

  Silver Bullet

  * * *

  Series: Wolf Hunt

  Wolf Hunt (2018)

  Wild Wolf (2019)

  The Edge of Midnight (2020)

  * * *

  Series: Nature of the Beast

  Pack Justice

  Dual Nature (TBD)

  * * *

  Series: Balancing the Scales

  Karma

  License to Kill (TBD)

  * * *

  Standalones

  Beneath a Blood Moon

  Shadowed Flame

  * * *

  Tales of the Winter Wolf

  (Short Story/Novella Collections)

  Omnibus - Volumes One-Five

  Volume Six (Aftermath to Winter Wolf.)

  Other Stories by RJ Blain

  Jesse Alexander Novels

  Water Viper

  Steel Heart (late 2018)

  * * *

  Requiem for the Rift King (Epic Fantasy)

  Storm Without End

  Storm Surge

  The Tides of War (TBD)

  Witch & Wolf World Reading Order

  The Witch & Wolf world is all over the place. I’m sorry about that—really. I’m worse than a gnat sometimes, flitting from project to project, excited to write my next story. Here’s my preferred reading order of these books. While I wrote Inquisitor first, it actually happens after Winter Wolf.

  Note: You can jump in on any series with the exception of Blood Diamond, Silver Bullet, and later volumes—they are dependent on events that happen prior in the series.

  Winter Wolf (W&W #2)

  Tales of the Winter Wolf Vol. 6

  Tales of the Winter Wolf Vol. 1-5

  Inquisitor (W&W #1)

  Beneath a Blood Moon (Standalone)

  Blood Diamond (W&W #3)

  Silver Bullet (W&W #4)

  Wolf Hunt (WH #1, W&W #5)

  Wild Wolf (WH #2, W&W #6)

  The Edge of Midnight (WH #3, W&W #7)

  * * *

  The following books can be read at any time:

  Nature of the Beast

  Pack Justice

  Dual Nature (TBD)

  Balancing the Scales
/>   Karma

  License to Kill (TBD)

  Standalone

  Shadowed Flame

 

 

 


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