“Would you like to tell me why you took the food from the kitchen in the administration building?”
His head came up and he looked at her.
“I saw you run out the door with the pillowcase behind you,” she told him gently.
He looked away to stare at his shoes. “Oh.”
“People take things for a reason,” she continued. “If you’ll tell me why, we can talk about it and see if something needs to be changed so you don’t have to do it again.”
He let out a soft sigh and began to speak, without looking at her. “When I still lived with him—my dad—there wasn’t a lot to eat, so I found food so I wouldn’t be hungry.”
“Where did you find food?”
He shrugged again. “There are places.” He turned to look at her. “Did you know restaurants throw away a whole lot of good food?”
She imagined him scrambling through a Dumpster, looking for something to eat, and had to suppress a shiver of horror. “Yes, they do.”
He turned away. “And sometimes I stole from stores. An apple, a sandwich—not much, though. I didn’t think they’d miss anything.”
“Have you taken anything from the kitchen here before?”
At first he shook his head, but then he stopped. “Yeah.”
“You don’t need to do that, Kirby. We have plenty of food, don’t we? Breakfast, lunch, supper and sometimes even a snack.”
“I know.”
“So you won’t do it again, right?”
He nodded.
“And if you promise not to, I’ll make sure that any time you need something extra, all you have to do is come tell me, and I’ll give you a snack. Is that okay?”
Nodding again, he looked at her. There was a touch of humility in his eyes, but it was overshadowed by gratitude. “I promise I won’t do it again.”
Nikki smiled. As long as he knew he wouldn’t have to go hungry, she was certain he wouldn’t do it again. “Okay, then, let’s finish this job and go find a snack.”
His head tilted to the side as he looked at her. “Why?”
“Because I need one.”
It wasn’t long before they had everything tidied, and Kirby was on his way to his cabin to retrieve the pillowcase with the food to give to her. As she stepped out of the barn, Mac was waiting outside.
“You handled that well,” he said when she stopped in the big doorway.
Still not ready to forgive him for the things he’d said to her the day before about her clothes, she shrugged. “As I told you, punishment and even discipline aren’t always necessary.”
Mac turned to watch Kirby running toward the cabins. “I don’t know what could be worse than going hungry, but I guess it happens sometimes.”
“It isn’t uncommon for children to steal food when left on their own.”
Mac shook his head. “He knew it was wrong, but he didn’t like going hungry, and there was no one who could help him.”
“That’s what kids think. There are places they can go, but most don’t know about them.” Nikki remembered kids she’d met when she was growing up. She’d been lucky. Although she and her mom hadn’t had it much better, there’d always been enough to get by. She’d never been left alone to fend for herself. But there were so many others who had no one. “We help those we can, but too many fall through the cracks.”
“Jules said the same thing when I first came to the ranch. I never understood all it encompassed.”
“The sad thing is, we can’t help all of them.”
She moved to step out of the barn, thinking of Kirby and all the others like him. There were so many who would never get the help they needed.
“About yesterday…” Mac began.
She froze. After all that he’d told her, why bring it up? “Don’t worry about it,” she answered.
“But I have worried,” he said.
Her emotions were in turmoil, whirling inside her like a tornado. She didn’t want to revisit this. Not now. But she knew it would be better to get it over with.
“I apologize,” he said when she faced him. “It was completely uncalled for. I had no right to say those things to you.”
She couldn’t look at him. “It’s done.”
“It shouldn’t have happened. Please accept my apology. I was upset. I was concerned for your safety.”
She couldn’t stop herself from staring at him. “My safety? In what way?”
“I know you don’t see it,” he said, “but dressing like that can be a temptation to the older boys.” He smiled, but it was a wry smile and lopsided. “I know. I was that age once.”
Her anger rose, but immediately vanished when she realized that he had been looking out for her. Maybe, just maybe, he had a heart under that sometimes stony exterior.
“I accept your apology,” she said, knowing her own smile wobbled.
He offered his hand. “Friends, then?”
She put her hand in his, her smile feeling easier now. “Friends.”
He continued to hold her hand for several moments. Of course it was innocent, she tried to tell herself, but the look in his eyes said more. So, unfortunately, did her heart.
MAC SETTLED AGAINST the corral fence and watched as Nikki wrapped up the day’s riding lesson. He’d been amazed at how well they’d done, and chalked up her success to letting the boys get accustomed to their horses first. After that, each had taken a turn at dressing the horse, from brushing to saddling.
“Aren’t we going to get on them?” Billy asked.
“Next time,” Nikki answered. “You need to get to class, before I’m in trouble for keeping you too long.”
A collective groan rose from the group, but each boy began removing the saddle from his horse. Thinking she might need a hand, Mac started to climb through the fence, but he stopped when he saw Tanner and his partner walking his way.
“I guess we missed it,” Tanner said, disappointment in his voice as they reached the fence. “How’d they do?”
“Good,” Mac answered before acknowledging Dusty. “I hope it was all right to let them have a try at saddling the new stock.”
“You’re in charge of that decision,” Tanner reminded him. “You know more than I do about what she can do and what she can’t.” He looked out at the corral where Nikki was showing Leon how to fold the saddle blanket. “I’d say you made a good one. I don’t think I’ve seen the boys this happy.”
Mac laughed. “You missed all the grumbling when she told them they couldn’t ride today.”
Dusty stepped up to the fence next to Mac, grinning. “How do you manage to keep your mind on work?”
Mac had gotten to know Dusty well since he’d come to the ranch, and he returned the grin. “Do I need to remind you that you’re a married man?”
“Very married, as a matter of fact. Happily, too,” Dusty replied, his grin widening. “But I’m just saying…”
“He means well, Mac,” Tanner said, laughing. “He did the same thing to me about Jules. We managed to turn the tables on him when it was his turn with Kate.”
Before Mac could explain that his relationship with Nikki was business and nothing like what Dusty might be thinking, Nikki walked up to the fence. “Great horses, Tanner,” she said, but her smile seemed nervous. “They were as nice as can be with the boys.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I’m sorry we weren’t here earlier. We’ve been trying to acquire a bull that Dusty’s had his eye on for some time. We had the chance today, so we took it.”
“And a damn fine bull he is,” Dusty added, but turned to Nikki and touched the brim of his hat. “Excuse my language, ma’am.”
“No problem. I’ve heard worse. Just be careful around the boys. By the way, I’m Nikki,” she said, smiling, and stuck out her hand.
Dusty looked at it, then grinned at Mac as he took it. “Nice to meet you, Nikki. I’m Dusty McPherson. I’m glad the horses suit the boys. You sure have a way with them.”
“The horses?” Tanner aske
d.
“Or the boys?” Mac finished.
“Both,” Dusty answered, winking at Mac.
Mac chuckled and shook his head. If he hadn’t known Dusty was harmless, he might have worried, but he’d seen the man with his wife, and Mac knew Dusty was not only a gentleman through and through, but he was head over heels in love with Kate.
As Tanner and Dusty talked to Nikki about her methods, he thought about how lucky both men were. What they had was what he someday hoped to have. But feeling unsure of himself and what he wanted to do with his life, now that he’d left the corporate world, he wasn’t any nearer to settling down than he’d ever been. If he had been— He stopped the thought. Adding a relationship with anyone at this point would be wrong. Nikki struck him as someone who knew who she was and where she was going, while he continued to sort out his life.
“If Mac will give me a hand,” Nikki said.
Mac looked at her and the others. “With what?”
Dusty elbowed him. “Pay attention to what the lady’s saying.”
Tanner explained. “We were talking about letting the boys ride again today.”
“It would be better if you were there to help, Mac,” Nikki added. “With both of us there, two can ride at a time.”
Knowing how eager the boys were to ride, he didn’t want to be the one to disappoint them. He might not understand them or be able to relate to them well, but he could understand how much they wanted to get on the horses, after spending so much time learning how.
“If you’ll wait until later this afternoon,” he said, “and if you can get the boys to wait that long, I can help you then.”
“Great!” She turned to Tanner. “Thank you. I mean, well, the boys will thank you later, but—”
Laughing, he nodded. “Go on. Go tell them.”
Nikki hesitated, but turned for the barn, where the boys were putting away the equipment.
“She really does have a special connection with the boys,” Tanner said.
“She cares,” Mac added, without meaning to.
“Like Jules,” Tanner replied. He watched her enter the barn, his head tilted at an angle, as if he was studying something.
“What?” Mac asked.
Tanner shook his head. “I don’t know. There’s something…” He shrugged and turned away. “Come on up to the house. We’ll see what Bridey’s cooked up for lunch.”
“I think I’ll stick around and see how the boys react when she tells them,” Mac said, hanging back.
“Good excuse,” Dusty said, and chuckled as he followed Tanner.
Mac hoped his attraction to Nikki wasn’t that obvious. But it was hard to ignore her. Besides, she deserved the praise. Chuckling to himself, he leaned against the fence to wait. He sure didn’t want to hear how Dusty would twist that around.
Nikki appeared sooner than he expected. “Need some help?” he called to her as she headed toward him. She was only a few feet away when he realized something was wrong. Her dark eyes appeared larger than normal in a face that had paled. “What is it?” he asked, ready to vault the fence. “Are the boys all right?”
“They’re fine,” she said as she drew closer. “I just—” She shook her head as she reached him. “I have to leave.”
“Leave?” he repeated as she climbed through the fence.
“I’ll be back in a few hours,” she answered. “Would you watch the boys? I know I shouldn’t be asking, but I have to—” She frowned as she straightened beside him. “It’s a personal matter,” she hurried to say, moving quickly away. “Could you let Jules know I had to leave?”
“Nikki, what—”
“A family emergency,” she said. “Please, Mac.” She was still facing him, but she was walking backward now. “I’ll explain later.”
He stared after her as she disappeared behind the row of trees, unsure what he should do. Tempted to go after her, he couldn’t. She’d asked him to watch the boys.
The sound of her car starting and then the spin of tires in sand got him moving. Maybe the boys knew something. He’d do what he could until she returned, but he expected a reasonable explanation of what had sent her running off in the middle of the day, when she’d been so excited only minutes earlier about telling the boys they’d actually be getting on the horses later.
“Women,” he muttered to himself. But deep down, he was worried.
NIKKI PULLED OFF the highway and into the gravel parking lot of the truck stop. Parking near the door of the small diner, she took a deep breath, got out of her car and walked inside the building. She glanced around the dingy interior until she found who she was looking for.
Sitting in a booth near the back of the diner, a middle-aged woman pulled off a pair of dark glasses and smiled. But the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “You made good time,” she said when Nikki slid onto the seat across the table from her.
“What’s this about, Mom?” Nikki asked.
Sally Rains O’Brien Frederick frowned and replaced the dark glasses, but not before Nikki noticed how red her eyes were.
She’s been crying. For a moment, Nikki felt bad, but then she thought about what Mac must have been thinking when she left without a real explanation.
“You’re angry,” Sally said.
“Damn right I am,” Nikki answered, leaning forward.
Sally stiffened and sniffed. “Not half as angry as I am. What do you think you’re doing at the Rocking O?”
“Who said I was at the O’Brien ranch?” Nikki asked, leaning back and crossing her arms in front of her.
Sally shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you went there, when I warned you years ago not to ever try to contact anyone there.”
“It was Grandmother, wasn’t it?”
Turning away, even though her glasses were dark enough to hide her eyes, Sally pressed her lips together before speaking. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Nikki had expected this. She’d been thirteen when her mother had revealed the secret she’d begged to hear all her life. They’d gone to Desperation, driving down the main street, her mother quiet beside her, never saying anything. Nikki had asked several times what they were doing, but Sally had only replied, “Just looking.”
Afterward, they’d driven slowly by the ranch, and Nikki had wondered who lived in the big white house. Some time later, they’d stopped at this same diner. “That house was where I lived,” Sally had said softly as they sat sipping soft drinks. “That’s where my boys live. And your father.” Her mother hadn’t been aware then that Brody O’Brien had died.
There’d been no explanation of how or why, and Nikki closed her eyes, wishing the memory away. And all it had done was cause friction between her and her mother. She’d learned never to mention the trip or her brothers, but she’d sworn that someday she would return. And she had.
“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d try to keep me from going there,” Nikki answered. Sighing, she leaned on the table. “Mom, look at me.”
Sally turned her head and slowly removed the sunglasses, placing them on the table. “I warned you then, Nikki. I don’t want your heart broken. They didn’t want us. If they had…”
Reaching across the table, Nikki laid her hand on her mother’s tightly clasped hands. “It’s time to forget. It was a long time ago. You have a good life now. I have a good life.”
Tears glistened in Sally’s eyes, and she shook her head. “You could have had a better life. I should have thought of that. But I was a selfish young girl who only wanted to have fun.”
“I’ve never blamed you, Mom. I understand.”
“I wanted to get away from Tahlequah,” Sally whispered, her head lowered. “And my parents. I thought marriage to Brody O’Brien would be fun, nothing more than riding the rodeo circuit together. But he wanted to settle down and start a family. He loved me, but…” She shook her head. “I couldn’t stay, so I left.”
“You left?” Nikki asked, her thoughts spinning. She’d th
ought Sally had been told to leave. “Did he send you away?”
Sally shook her head. “It was my decision. Raising two little boys was more than I’d bargained for, even with a man I thought I loved.”
“But—”
“I didn’t know I was pregnant again, not for several weeks after I’d left,” Sally continued. “When I realized it, I quit riding and went home to Tahlequah to live with my mother.” She raised her head and looked into Nikki’s eyes. “After you were born, I realized how much I missed my boys. You were two when I had enough courage to call and ask to see them.”
Nikki felt tears gathering in her own eyes and willed them away. This was the story she’d begged to hear. Shouldn’t she be happier? But now she understood what all her mother’s tears had been about for so many years. It was guilt.
Sally’s smile was sad as she went on. “A woman answered. She told me the boys were fine, they didn’t need me and not to call again or try to see them.” Her eyes cleared and she smiled. “But I still had you.”
“He didn’t know about me?”
“I was afraid he might try to take you away from me if he knew, so I didn’t say anything to the woman on the phone.”
Stunned that none of her father’s family even knew about her, Nikki also didn’t want to upset her mother. That explained why no one had questioned her or seemed to notice a family resemblance. Now, after hearing the story, at least she knew why her mother had always been so protective of her.
“Why didn’t you tell me these things before?” Nikki asked.
“I thought that the less you knew, the better off you would be. Maybe I was wrong to think that.”
Nikki wasn’t sure how to answer. She understood that her mother had been trying to protect her. She didn’t agree, but it would be useless to tell her so now. Instead, she glanced around the diner until she spied the waitress. “Would you like something to drink, Mom?”
“I think I would, yes.”
Nikki waved to indicate they were ready to order. “Tea or soda?” she asked her mother. “Soda.”
The waitress slowly made her way to the booth and stood holding her pad and pencil. “What can I get you, honey?” she asked around a piece of gum that popped when she spoke.
The Reluctant Wrangler Page 7