by Grace White
"W-what?"
"After we... after it was over he said he needed a shower and that he'd call me."
"Oh, Len, come here." I wrapped her into my arms, hugging her close. "He doesn't deserve you."
And I was certain that when Allegra found out, she would make the Salamander pay for using our sister.
"I thought I’d felt it, you know? The connection."
I pulled her back. "What are talking about?"
She smiled wistfully. "You know, the Esse."
The Esse? But that was nothing more than myth. A story Undine mothers liked to tell their daughters to fill their minds with hope when they discovered their immortality.
"Allendra, it is a myth. Nothing more than a story passed from generation to generation."
"It's not. It's rare, Alora, but I think the Esse does exist."
My brows furrowed as I tilted my head at her. "And you thought Clint was... the one?"
Allendra pulled her lips together and nodded. "He understood me. Our situation. When we were together it was as if the stars were aligning. I've never felt that before, Alora. Never. And when we joined... together." A deep flush spread over her cheeks. "I felt it. The Esse."
"Oh, sweetie." I hugged her again. Did I believe her conviction that her connection to Clint was some higher order? Without doubt. But that was Allendra for you; she liked to justify her decisions through outside forces. I think it gave her some level of plausible deniability: ‘I didn't choose to do this, the mythical ancient Esse made me do it’.
"I'm tired, Alora. I'm so tired of being alone."
Although we were immortal, we were still young in the grand scheme of things. It would be years, even millennia, before we fulfilled our destiny as heiresses to the Undine Kingdom, when we would be expected to take a life mate. For Undines though, it wasn’t about love or a deep connection, it was about duty and obligation.
"Hey, hey," I soothed. "You're not alone. You have me and Allegra, and it won't be long until we're out of this place and back where we belong."
But as the words left my mouth, I didn't know who I was trying to convince more. My sister, or myself.
~
All weekend, I tried to push thoughts of Marcus Denegred and Allendra's talk of the Esse out of my head. Even if such thing did exist, it would not apply to an Undine and a Human. It was impossible. Yet, as I stared at the Lapisalia, a life unfolded in my imagination. A life with a silver-haired man and a fair-haired child with eyes the color of the Seas of Sequoia. Days spent watching him play and grow. An older Marcus, deep lines around his eyes as he stared back at me. Only, it wasn’t me. The woman had the same eyes, the same long hair, but where it was once as black as the night, it was now peppered with silver and, when she smiled, her face cracked with lines of age.
In this future, I wasn’t Undine—I was Human.
It was a future my father would never sanction. That my people would never accept…But was it the future I wanted?
Marcus
“Ugh," I roared, slamming my fist against the wall.
I couldn't sleep. Images of her haunted my mind. The look of hurt on her face as the words poured from my mouth. The way I’d turned on Patroni because of the things he’d said. I was a fucking mess.
For the rest of my shift at the farm, I'd done nothing but rack my brain for some way to apologize to Alora. We couldn't be together, but I also didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want her to think of me as the lowlife I really was.
She had me so tied up in knots—another eighteen months inside this hell was starting to look impossible. Maybe I could get a transfer to another zone? Somewhere I wouldn't feel her. Somewhere I wouldn't be looking for her everywhere I went.
She cared. Cared enough to walk straight into the farm. For a Meta, it was like walking straight into the lion’s den. And I'd said the worst thing I could.
My fist collided with the wall again and pain splintered up my arm.
I hoped the flower would lessen her hurt. After I finally calmed down, Kyan had suggested it, but it was Madam Dubraire that helped me locate the perfect flower. She knew things about most species living in the Complex and, like Alora, she was a water species. If anyone knew about Undines, it was Madam Dubraire. The Lapisalia hadn't been easy to find, but there was a Human that sold exotic plants and herbs for the right price. It had cost me almost a week’s earnings, but Madam Dubraire had explained that the Lapisalia was native to the Seas of Sequoia—the place Alora had once called home. Not to mention, it was the exact color of her eyes.
Eyes that would haunt me until death finally came for me.
~
"So, did she like it?"
"Like what?"
Kyan grumbled something before taking a long pull on his beer. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Don't go there, man," I replied, really not wanting to do this.
"Look, I'm just saying I've known you since day one. You don't let people in. I'm pretty sure you haven't once gotten your dick wet in here. And I know for a fact your conversational skills aren't a hit with the ladies, so that makes me think she's different."
Oh, she was different alright. A whole other species different.
"She's a Meta, Kyan."
"Kind of caught that when she summoned the huge wave that saved your ass."
"It could never work."
"Because she's a Meta? Or because you’re too shit scared to do anything about it?”
I glared at him, trying to make him understand without having to say the words. He’d witnessed the way I’d gone at Patroni—he knew that deep down I cared for her. But it didn’t change anything.
Did it?
"It’s complicated," I said.
"Complicated because she’s a Meta or because of whatever it is you're in here for?"
"Kyan," I warned, as if it was going to stop his thirst for answers. I was beginning to regret agreeing to meet him for a drink.
"Look, I'm just saying, if I was you, and thanks to the galaxies I'm not, I'd embrace anything to make the days in here a little more pleasurable, if you catch my drift."
"I'm not looking to put down roots."
"Who is? This whole thing is fucked up. Us down here while they sit up there in their shiny black orb watching us like some freak science experiment. But life's too damn short to worry about tomorrow, or the next day, or what happens when the breech doors open. Everything could be different when we finally get out of here, everything. For all we know, they've blown each other to pieces and we're the galaxies last chance at survival." He barked a wry laugh, but I didn't find it funny. Because if there was even a hint of truth in what he said, it meant I was here for nothing. Doing all of this for nothing.
"That's kind of depressing," I ran a finger around the bottle rim.
"Damn right it is. First thing I'm going to do when I get back to Wreston is go to Hattie's for a galaxy burger."
"You really do only think with your stomach."
He smirked. "And my dick, don't forget my dick."
"So, the redhead, how's that going?"
"Good, I think. I mean, it's early days, but I like her and she can do this thing with her tongu—"
"Please do not finish that sentence."
When Kyan's laughter died down his expression turned serious. "You should give her a chance. There were all kinds of chemistry happening between the two of you. We all saw it. So, she's a Meta, so what? She's hot and she obviously cared enough to not want to see your sorry ass drown."
When I didn't answer, he continued. "I'm not saying you have to marry the girl, just have a little fun. What's the worst that could happen?"
If only he knew.
For the past year, I'd wanted nothing but to die. To be free of my past. My regret. My shame. I hadn't thought of anything but walking out of this place and meeting my maker. Then Alora had put her hands on me and it was like something shifted. There wasn't only death in my future now. But what kind of man would it make me if I
went after her? If I pulled her into my world only to leave her once this was all over?
Because Alora wasn't the kind of woman you had fun with. She was the kind that buried herself under your skin and stayed there. And even if I hoped for something more permanent, it could never be, because Devin wouldn't let me walk. It was my life in exchange for my parents. I’d had a hand in taking away one of the most important things in his world. If our roles were reversed I wouldn't let me live either.
I was a dead man walking.
And until recently, I'd made my peace with that.
~
I sensed her before I saw her. I'd left Kyan at the bar when his woman had turned up. I was happy for the guy, I was, but I didn't need to sit around and have it rubbed in my face.
She was entering the housing dome. Alone. Before I could talk myself out of it, I followed her. She took the fasttrans lift. It made sense she had one of the better rooms, not like the crappy dorms on the lower floors, but I hadn't expected her to exit on one of the upper floors. They housed the larger suites, reserved only for the wealthier residents.
Who the hell was she?
I took the lift after her. She'd be inside by now, but it didn't stop me. The corridors looked the same as every other level. White. Clinical. Devoid of decoration. But the doors were spaced further apart, indicating that the rooms behind them were larger. I glanced left, then right and then swept my eyes around the whole outer ring. She could be in any one of the rooms. What was I going to do? Knock on each one? That was crazy. This whole idea was fucking crazy.
Scraping a hand over my head, I hit the lift call button when movement caught my eye. It wasn't Alora, but it looked like her. I'd seen her before, at the club. It was the sister with the sharp tongue. I watched as she slipped out of her room and knocked on the next door. It swung open just as the lift doors pinged. I slipped inside. Now I knew where she lived.
I just didn't know what I was going to do about it.
Back inside my room, I sat on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands, trying to figure things out. It was times like these, when everything felt out of my control, that I craved a hit. Yearned for the euphoric sensation and mindless bliss. But I hadn't done that shit in almost two years, after watching that poor kid slump to the floor.
I'd done some really fucked up things in my life, but fleeing that house and not calling for help was right up there with the worst. In some ways, I didn't only welcome death in return for my parents lives, it was for her too, the innocent child that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My fists clenched against my face, biting into my skin, but I welcomed the pain. I didn't deserve to feel nothing—to numb the memories. I deserved to live with the guilt and shame and regret. Even if it was slowly eating at my soul. It's why I was so confused at the Ice Spa, when she'd touched me. Alora made it hurt something fierce, but it was different. I wasn't only chasing the pain, I was chasing something else. Part of me wished our paths had never crossed, but another part of me wanted more. So much more. And I was tired of fighting myself. Tired of counting off the days until I walked out of here and to my death sentence.
If my time was ticking, maybe Kyan was right, maybe I should make the most of the precious days I had left.
Alora
I grasped the thin cover to my body. "Marcus? W-what are you doing here?"
Hooded eyes swept hungrily over my body. Despite being covered by the thin sheet, I felt naked with the way his gaze burned through me.
"Marcus?" I swallowed hard, my heart galloping in my chest.
He stalked forward, stopping before the foot of the bed. "I tried to stay away."
Shifting up against the headboard, the cover still pulled to my chest, I smoothed a hand over my hair. "What do you want, Marcus?" It hadn't even occurred to me to ask how he’d got in here.
Marcus’s eyes shuttered as he bowed his head, as if he was at war with himself. But when he opened them again, it was clear he'd made a choice. Marcus closed the distance between us until he was standing over me. I drank in the shadows of his biceps, the corded muscles in his neck, the way his hair sparkled under the strip lighting.
"Come here." He pointed his finger at me and curled it toward him. I swung my legs over the side, but Marcus caught my ankle, dragging it slowly to him. He stepped between my legs and hitched them against his thigh, the sheet bunching around me. I stared up at him, my body alive at his touch, bewitched by the way his eyes pinned me to the spot.
"What is it about you?" His voice was a caress. "You're in here." He released one of the legs to tap his head, sliding his hand down to his chest, right above his heart. "And in here."
"Marcus, I—" A single finger pressed against my lips, silencing me.
"I'm done talking. If I speak, I'll screw things up. I'll say things I don't mean, things that hurt you. I don't know how to do..." He searched my eyes. "This."
I rose from the edge of the bed, still clutching the sheet to me, and pressed up against his solid abs. My hand danced across his cheek and down his jaw. "I don't know how to do this either, Marcus. But you're in here." I tapped my head and slid my hand down the column of my neck and rested it above my chest. "And in here."
His eyes shuttered again as he let my words sink in. This moment would change everything—we both felt it—but there was no stopping it this time.
When Marcus's eyes snapped open, they were hungry with desire. I expected him to devour me the way he had at the club, but this time was different. His lips grazed mine, nibbling the corners, licking the seam of my mouth. His hands wrapped around my neck, holding me still for a second before burying deep into my hair. And then he unleashed the man I knew him to be. His tongue delved past my lips, tangling with my own as he pushed me down onto the bed, covering my body with his.
"You always sleep like this?" he murmured and I smiled against his mouth, as one of his hands left my hair and swept down my body to my bare legs.
"By the galaxies, you're going to be the death of me." He stilled. Just for a second. And I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I didn't want to break our connection, ruin the moment.
"Marcus," I panted as his fingers dipped inside my cotton panties and slid over my center. My whole body jerked with pleasure. But it wasn't enough. I needed more. So much more.
"I wanted to go slow, to kiss every inch of you, but I'm not sure I can wait." His fist curled around my hair and pulled tight, tilting my face up to him, searching for permission. But my hands were already at the waistband of his scrubs, trying to free his erection.
"Easy, babe," he whispered, withdrawing from my body as he yanked his top over his head and kicked out of his scrub bottoms. His body was a sculpted work of art. A silver-haired Adonis looming over me.
"Scoot back," he commanded and I complied, moving into the center of the bed. Marcus rolled on top of me and rocked back onto his heels, his hooded gaze raking down my almost naked body. Slowly, he inched down the scrap of material covering me and hovered over me, kissing me softly.
"Let me in, Alora."
My legs wrapped around his waist as he pushed inside of me, stretching me full, and his mouth swallowed my moans.
Marcus wasn't a gentle lover. He slammed into me over and over, pinning my hands above my head, kissing and biting my neck, soothing the sting with his tongue. It was fast and hard and primal...and I felt it. I didn't want to give it a stupid name, or define it by an ancient myth I wasn't sure I believed, but I felt the connection between us. More than just lust or attraction. This moment would bind us together.
As he moved above me, inside of me, Marcus consumed me, and I felt something shift. As if he could read my thoughts, he whispered, "You feel it, don't you?" He pulled away and I groaned at the loss of contact. "Tell me you feel it, this thing between us? Feel it flow from me to you and back again." He slammed into me and my head fell back as stars glittered in my vision.
"I feel it," my voice was breathless. "Don't stop, never stop." My
fingers dug into his shoulders, searching for more, urging him for more, and Marcus was all too happy to comply. His thrusts became harder, frantic, until his own groans mixed with mine, filling the small room and he sprawled on top of me, tucking his face in the crook of my shoulder.
Heavy silence enveloped us, only the sounds of our breaths interrupting the peace. There was so much I wanted to say, to ask, but I didn't know where to start. Marcus had resisted this—me—but now he was here, in my arms. Possibly asleep as I listened to his breath even out. I didn't want to disturb him. I just wanted to enjoy this moment with the Human that had become more than just a strange fixation of mine.
My eyes fluttered shut and I fell to sleep smiling.
~
I woke confused. Heat radiated from behind me and that's when I felt him.
Marcus.
One of his legs was thrown over mine, caging me in, as his hand rested possessively over my hip. I couldn't move.
I wasn't sure I wanted to.
I lay there, in this complicated Human's arms, and listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing, remembering last night. The things he'd said, the things he'd done to me. A full body shiver worked its way through me and I sighed. Marcus's arm tightened as I felt him stir, and my stomach fluttered with nerves. What would happen now? Would he go back to ignoring me? Pretending we were nothing to one another? He'd already insinuated that me being a Meta bothered him. His being Human should have bothered me.
What in the galaxies were we going to do?
"Stop thinking so much, you're giving me a headache," he grumbled, his warm breath hitting my neck.
"Morning," I said.
"Morning." He pressed a kiss to my shoulder and I melted. "What time is it?"
"Seven thirty."
"I really should get going, but you feel so good.” Rolling me onto my back, he stared down at me, a wicked grin on his face. “Damn, I wish I had more time.”
I stifled a giggle, feeling just how much he wanted me as his erection pressed into my leg. Marcus nuzzled my neck and I soaked up his affection. This was a new side to him, a side I wanted more of. He peppered kisses under my jaw, his hand slipping underneath the sheet and grazing my breasts. But then he paused.