We reached Hackney, and a neighbourhood full of low buildings. It was the only thing I could make out at that moment — apart from the empty roads. It struck me as odd. At this time of day back in Greece, not only would everyone still be awake, but also out in the streets. There was nobody there.
Pavlos pulled up the car in front of a building with red bricks.
«Here we are», he told me and entered the block of flats. Theirs was on the second floor.
«Welcome to your new home», said my brother, holding the door so I could enter first.
Stepping in, I found myself in a spacious room painted orange, consisting of the sitting room and the kitchen, separated by a wooden counter. On my left, a small living room was occupied by two sofas, a wooden coffee table and a television. In front of me, on the broad wall was a big, rectangular window, framed by long, red curtains. On my left was the kitchen, painted in a variety of greens. Further away, to the right, a corridor led to two bedrooms, a bathroom and a tiny storeroom.
Samantha was the one behind the décor. She’d done a marvellous job. The space was a little bit over the top in terms of colours, but they were all welcoming and well matched, exuding cosiness. On the walls hung black-and-white posters depicting famous movie scenes and photos of architectural landscapes. In a corner, a Spanish guitar awaited my glance.
«Who plays the guitar?»
«I do», Samantha said.
I smiled. Out of the big window, I looked across the neighbourhood and at the street down below. Nothing had changed.
After assuring them I wasn’t hungry, Pavlos and I sat down in the small living room. Samantha asked us not to stay up late and, excusing herself, went to her room.
My brother assumed a serious, solemn look. «Do you want tell me what happened?»
«No.» I was too tired to explain it all. I looked at him, seeking his understanding.
«Okay, then. We’ll talk in the morning. You’ll meet Bob tomorrow. He’s coming for lunch.»
I had no strength left to voice my reply. I simply smiled as we stood up and he led me to the guest room.
«From now on, it’s not the guest room. It’s your room.»
It was exactly what I wanted. A warm, cosy room with a comfortable bed and nice photos on the walls. It was more than enough.
«I’ll leave you to unpack, okay? Sleep tight.»
«Good night, Pavlos.»
I was about to say Thanks for everything, but I didn’t. I knew my brother didn’t want to hear thank you. It may even have angered him.
I was in his childhood room and he was in our parents’. It symbolised his taking me under his wing, until I was ready to fly on my own. After all, he was my big brother.
Closing the door and looking around me, I experienced a strange feeling. I wanted to flee, out into the empty streets, running in any direction. Overwhelmed by many different emotions, they hovered around me and touched me at random. I felt hatred that my parents hadn’t taken me with them, that Aunt Urania had raised me as if I were her own child, that Pavlos hadn’t come earlier into my life. No, I didn’t feel different emotions. It was only one.
Hatred.
I felt like a stranger once more. It was a feeling I kept handy, like a favourite old, faded T-shirt you wear at home. I had always believed everything would be all right when I found my parents. Instead, I found Pavlos and everything seemed to be all right. But it was only for a moment. So many things remained unsolved. Emotions, questions, dilemmas.
I was sitting in bed, pondering. I felt insignificant, as if thought had abducted my body and dragged it along its travels. Body and thought had met Angelique by chance.
Remembering her game, I tried to fly. It wasn’t difficult this time. As though defying gravity, I began to float. I saw my bed fade away beneath the roof of the house, and then I saw other roofs. It was still dark and, as I was flying, I saw more and more lights, until I stumbled upon the picture I had seen through the plane window hours before. I was hovering above the English Channel. I had to choose: Greece or England?
I dozed off.
28
I woke up twelve hours later — as if from hibernation — wearing the same clothes I’d worn for three days. My feelings and thoughts, though, were very different.
Standing at the window, a wintry sun looked down at me, winking and trying to placate me. Summoning up my courage, I opened my suitcase to take out some clean clothes. I decided to throw the old ones away and, along with them, that old T-shirt of mine — the feeling of the stranger.
I didn’t feel hatred for anyone anymore. I didn’t feel anything. Fatigue loomed behind all that had crossed my mind the previous night. It was like a disease afflicting my mind. I was a blank piece of paper and I would simply let fate write whatever she wanted across it.
Leaving my room, I shouted Good morning. Pavlos and Samantha were impressed by my good mood and cheerfully returned the greeting. I asked them to show me around the flat so I could have a bath. I emerged awhile later, rejuvenated. Wondering about breakfast, I didn’t expect to be told it was one o’ clock and that lunch was already under way. It was another thing I needed to adjust to.
Pavlos suggested that, though he had already notified Aunt Urania of my safe arrival, I’d better do it myself as well.
Hearing her voice on the other end of the line, I was moved. I reassured her everything was fine and that she needn’t worry. Asking how long I’d be staying in London, I answered Three to four weeks, as Pavlos and I had agreed. After the month, I would call her to say I had no intention of returning.
I hung up and dialled the number of my bookshop.
«Yes?»
«You should say Hello», I advised Natalia.
«Vassilis! Where are you?»
«In London, my dear. Don’t worry. I’m fine.»
«Why did you leave? How could you leave me alone with all this?» she complained.
«You’ve got Thanos. You can count on him. There’s no one else», I said, without elaborating. Natalia didn’t either. She figured out I didn’t want to talk about anything more.
«When are you coming back?»
«In three to four weeks.»
This time, I felt my voice crack. I could lie to everybody, but not to Natalia. She was the only one who would get hurt when she discovered my decision.
We didn’t say much. I gave her some advice on the bookshop and said goodbye.
«Everything all right?» Pavlos frowned.
«Yes. Everything is fine.»
Not long afterwards, the bell rang. Pavlos opened the door and greeted Bob with a macho sort of salute, fists clenched. «Come meet my brother.»
He brought him closer.
«Hi, Bill. I’m Bob», he introduced himself, examining my bruises. «I hope you punched him back», he added, feinting an expert uppercut.
I smiled. «I did.»
He winked at me.
I took to him immediately. He was a tall, brawny, pleasant sort of guy with a shaved head. He looked fierce at first sight, but there was a childlike innocence in his smile. He really was like a child; spontaneous, naive, full of beans, which was uplifting — albeit tiring — at times. Unlike Samantha, he hadn’t learnt any Greek, barring a fistful of swear words, which he used only in joking with Pavlos.
He went to the kitchen and kissed his sister. «Oh, pasta! Cooked with the traditional English recipe!» he said, turning to me. «Scared, eh? Don’t worry, Bill, I’m just pulling your leg! I may be proud to be English, but I sure know as hell our cuisine is shitty!»
I couldn’t help laughing. He was a comedy troupe all on his own, putting on shows in the most unlikely places.
Samantha’s pasta ready, we sat at the kitchen table.
«So, brother, welcome home», said Pavlos in English as raised his glass.
«Welcome, Vassilis.»
«Welcome, Bill.»
We sipped from our glasses of white wine, though Bob preferred beer. We ate without talking. I had
so much to tell them, but I preferred to savour my first meal in England silently.
I needed to attach more importance to moments like this. Small things can only be beautiful because they are too small to hold anything else. That’s why they are the only things you remember after years have smudged away everything else.
«You must wonder what exactly happened», I said, slowly putting my knife and fork together.
«Are you going to tell us?»
«Yes. Let’s get it over and done with, now that we’re all here together.»
Those three words, all here together, sounded good to my ears. They made me feel as if they were my new family. And so they were.
I began to recount my story, from the moment Thanos arrived at the bookshop, to the fight with Michalis and my decision to leave. They listened carefully, sympathy climbing up their faces for the way I had suddenly lost a friend and a lover. When my story came to an end, I let them rest in a pause.
Bob nodded his head. «That bloke... Michalis... malakas!» he commented, using the most famous of Greek swear words.
I laughed.
«And that Ellie...»
«Don’t say it!» Pavlos was quick to stop him.
I laughed again.
«How do you feel now?» Samantha asked me.
«Now I feel fine. In the beginning, I was all at sea, drowning, but my journey gave me time to think. I won’t allow myself to be occupied with it forever. I decided to never look back.»
«I didn’t have time to really get to know Michalis, but Ellie?» my brother said to himself.
«Well, kid, leave everything behind and say to yourself that this is the first day of the rest of your life», Bob advised me, raising his glass. «Cheers!»
I drank to that. To the first day of the rest of my life.
29
In the afternoon, I stopped by the pub. It wasn’t very far — about a twenty-minute walk. We walked in the light of a day that was drawing to a close. I enjoyed my first walk along the streets of Hackney. The others adjusted their pace to mine, so I could see whatever I wanted to see. This way, I gave them the chance to enjoy their walk too. Time had worn it to something merely mechanical and automatic.
With each step, I learnt something new. Samantha talked the most, teaching me about the history of the area. How the first houses had been built, how the first inhabitants had arrived, how Hackney had changed into one of the most infamous areas of London. That’s why there was nobody out in the streets at night. Fear had bolted shut their houses. Yet another thing I had to get used to.
Looking around me, I noticed how the bricks all shared a uniformity of shape; a kind of brick I’d never seen before, except in photos. Bricks of all colours and size: big, small, yellow, brown, white, black. Every building wore the same suit, made of the same pattern, but not of the same colour. The pavements were dark, dull strips, while the roads were pitch black, as though they’d been paved with asphalt just two days before. Every now and then, red buses passed by, most of them double-deckers, as they were called. How badly I wanted to ride on one of those. I knew the delight would soon wear off.
«Here we are», said Pavlos, showing me the facade of the pub.
It had been built with classic, English-style wood. Two big windowpanes, painted bright blue, framed the main entrance. Overhead there was a wooden inscription that read JJ’s, lit up by a bright yellowish light.
«JJ’s? What does it stand for?»
He smiled. «What name could a Greek woman coming to stay in London give? Jupiter’s Joint. That was the initial name by which the pub went by, but when I took over, I decided to change it. It sounded like a cheap tourist taverna on a Greek island», said Pavlos, opening the door.
He intentionally concealed the fact that, when they were thinking up a name for the pub, my mother wanted it to remind her of me. My father, though, wouldn’t listen, so a potential BJ’s or VJ’s turned into JJ’s.»
«You may think the worst of him — I did up to a point —, but you must know that it never stopped hurting him that he left you behind in Greece», Pavlos would tell me one day, only to come up against my indifference.
The locals welcomed my brother, Samantha and Bob warmly.
«May I have your attention, please?» Pavlos shouted, drawing me closer to him. «This is my younger brother, Bill. From now on, he’s with us — our boss!» he said, causing a commotion of applause, which became a strong, rhythmical beating on the tables. «If you’re still sober and can see the bruises on his face, you should know they’re made by someone who realised, far too late, that he should never have messed with him!»
Everyone burst out laughing, putting an end to their table drumming. Pavlos left them to their laughter and led me to the bar. Behind the counter stood Sylvia, an English girl — the only employee who had no connections to our family.
«Sylvia, this is Bill.»
«Hi, I’m Sylvia», she introduced herself, extending her hand over the wooden bar.
«Hi.»
«Troubles?» she asked, looking at the marks on my face.
«Not any more.»
I couldn’t help but stare. She was certainly an asset to the pub. Tall, blonde, with delicious cleavage and a fantastic smile, but smart enough to politely turn down the more obscene proposals from the not-so-sober patrons. Though she was five years older than me, nobody would’ve argued if she’d said she was nineteen. She exuded a strange scent of innocence, but provocative sensuousness mingled with it to form a magnetic, mysterious blend.
«From now on, Bill is the second boss. Nothing will change, of course, but I just wanted to let you know.»
«Okay», she said, almost indifferently.
I sat at the bar, looking around more carefully. The style of the décor was pure rock ‘n’ roll — the perfect backdrop for the music travelling along its old wooden beams. I liked it.
Samantha moved over to a table in the corner to chat with some friends, while Bob joined Sylvia behind the bar, leaving me with Pavlos. People arrived in droves. My brother introduced me to whoever came to greet him, so I’d get to know all the frequent customers. The fly in the ointment was the repeated replies to the endless questions about my bruises.
«So, from now on, just watch and learn. Nothing else. You’ve got one week to learn the ropes. Next Monday, you start work», he said when we were alone.
«Why not earlier?»
«With that face?»
He was right.
«These are the changes that will take place from now on. Now that you’re here, Samantha is going to stop working — she’s been wanting it all along — and I’m going to do the morning shift, so we can spend more time together. This means that Bob and I will come in at nine, to have the pub open by ten, and we’ll both leave at five. You and Sylvia will run the place till midnight, and then you’ll have to clean and tidy up the bar, and lock up for the night. Is that okay?»
«Yes.»
«On weekend nights, I’ll be at the pub, and Bob sometimes too, so there’ll be at least three of us when there’s more work.»
I nodded in the affirmative.
«Anyway, you needn’t worry about the job. It’s easy and pleasant. Most of our customers are friends and acquaintances, so they don’t cause any trouble. But if you ever need anything, let Sylvia step in. She’s extremely savvy when it comes to those sorts of things. So, my last advice is keep calm and carry on.»
He patted me on the shoulder and winked; then he joined Samantha and her friends. I stayed behind with Sylvia, while Bob served some customers who had just sat down.
«So, Bill, what’d you think?» the blonde English girl asked me, without stopping her work in the bar.
«Fine. It’s still early on in the game, but I think I’ll learn fast enough.»
«When are you starting?»
«Next week. We’ll have our shifts together.»
«Hmm, great. I’ll be your teacher.»
She spoke without looking up, but the
way she moved and the song in her voice made those words anything but innocent. I had no idea if another woman with Sylvia’s looks could have come across as modest or innocent, but Sylvia certainly couldn’t.
«How long have you been working here?» I asked her, but I didn’t hear her reply. Bob had already called her from the other side of the counter. Yet, Sylvia found a way to reply, showing me three fingers. I smiled at her and she at me, before serving the round of beers a table had just ordered.
JJ’s suddenly filled to the brim around eight o’ clock, and just as suddenly emptied around half past eleven. My brother told Sylvia that she could leave earlier than usual, since we all four were there. After the pub close, what had to be done was cash up, wash all the glasses and dishes, dry them, replacing them in their cupboards, ready for the morning shift. Mornings, on the other hand, involved sweeping and mopping the floor, ordering and fetching the new supplies, and various other chores.
After showing me how to cash up, Pavlos revealed the pub’s secret: every night, the day’s takings were hidden away in the shed, and only the four of us knew about the hiding place. It was too dangerous to go out in the street with so much cash on you.
Pavlos was all too aware of this fact. He’d been mugged three times before. The first time, the mugger made off with all his money. The second and third times, he had only been carrying a small amount, to minimise the loss if followed and mugged. Hence, the money was kept in the shed until the next morning, when it was hurried straight to the bank.
When we were about to go, Pavlos gave me two keys. «Take them. This one opens the shop and the other the flat. Come and go whenever you please. You don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.»
Walking through our apartment door that night, I felt relieved. I would finally sleep like a log, in a normal bed, under a warm duvet, my head on a soft pillow. The day had been full and satisfying, and that was the perfect way to end it. Without troubling thoughts, without worries, without unwanted feelings, without any dirty T-shirts.
A Life In A Moment Page 7