by Bonnie Lamer
Mom interrupts. “Can you? Can you truly understand what it feels like to be floating around without a body for years? To learn that you were never really dead?”
Guilt washes through me with her words. Oh. My. God. I hadn’t thought of it that way. What if it’s true? What if I pulled them from their bodies too soon? Separated them before their bodies were dead. If I hadn’t, could they have been saved? Could they have been corporeal, whole, all this time? Did I condemn them to a bodiless existence because my magic was rash? Even if I didn’t know I was doing it, it is still my fault.
Reading my mind, Kallen turns me to face him. “Stop it,” he tells me. “Stop thinking this is your fault. You did nothing wrong. Your magic would not have pulled them from the wreckage if it was not for the best.”
“They were still alive,” I whisper.
“You do not know that,” Kallen insists.
“Xandra, Kallen is right,” Dad agrees. “We drove off the side of a cliff. We had no way of contacting anyone. There was no hope for a physical rescue. Our bodies were mangled in the crash and we would have died from our injuries. Pulling us free of those bodies was the only way to save us. It was the only chance of survival we had.”
I stare at him for a long time trying to determine if he truly believes that or if he is just trying to make me feel better. Pulling me close, Kallen says gently, “Believe him. It is the truth.” Maybe, but he doesn’t really know that. I will never know for certain now.
Adriel adds her voice to the conversation. “You would not have been able to call their spirits to you if they were not marked for death.”
My eyes grow wide as I stare at her. “What?”
Clearly uncomfortable dishing out Angel of Death knowledge, she reluctantly continues. “Since no dark magic was used, the only way you could have called their spirits to you is if they had already left their body. Meaning, they were close enough to death to be ready to move on. Otherwise, even your magic could not have done it.”
Adriel does not lie just to make someone feel better. If she says it, she believes it. “Are you certain?” I ask.
She nods. “I still do not know how you were able to do it, or how they have survived outside of their bodies in such a perfect state of being this long, but yes, I am certain about that.”
Dad floats to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, making both Kallen and me cold. “See, you saved us.”
“Saved you, but what did I turn you into?” I wonder aloud.
“You didn’t turn us into anything different,” Dad tries to reassure me. “I feel the same as I did before.” That cannot possibly be true. Unlike Adriel, Dad will tell little white lies to make me feel better.
“We need to find our bodies,” Mom says, trying to sound matter-of-fact even though I can see the excitement building in her eyes.
“Julienne, do not get your hopes up,” Isla urges. “It is unlikely anything can be done at this point. Even at the time of the accident, Xandra could not have saved your bodies.” She’s right. I didn’t even know I had magic then. And my Witch magic had been bound until I was seventeen. I was not at full power and probably could not have healed such badly damaged bodies even if I knew about my magic.
“We can try,” Tana insists. “How can we not?”
Dagda shakes his head. “I do not like it.” Turning his attention to Dad, he says, “No offense, but I will not risk my wife’s sanity. Even for the sake of your corporealness.”
Mouth in a grim line, Dad nods. “I understand.” Disappointment flashes in his eyes, but he really does understand. He would take the same position if it was Mom.
“Damn things,” Isla suddenly growls. A vengeful spirit flies into the kitchen and tries to make its misshapen way toward Mom. Isla says the exorcism spell and it disappears.
“They cannot spend eternity like this,” Tana says quietly. Her eyes meet Mom’s. “In my darker days, I often wished evil upon you for things that were not truly your fault. But faced with the reality of those thoughts coming true, I find I cannot live with myself if I do nothing to stop what is happening. Despite my past behavior toward you and your daughter, I hope you can trust that I mean you no harm.”
Mom cocks her head to her side. “Oddly, I do.” She means it. Unbelievable.
I shake my head in wonder. Just great. They have bonded over reanimating corpses. Mom and Dad’s corpses. I always think my life cannot get stranger. I am always, always wrong.
8 Chapter
“Maybe returning to the Cowan realm is a good idea,” Kegan says. “It would at least tell us if the vengeful spirits can jump realms.”
Kallen nods. “It would be good to know if the issue is specific to our realm.”
Mom narrows her eyes. “Are you suggesting we move back there if it is?”
“Not at all,” Kallen quickly assures her. “But, it would help to know if the spirits are limited in where they can find you. The more knowledge we have about them, the more likely we can stop them from attacking you.”
“Not to mention, get you closer to their bodies,” Dagda says dryly, glaring at Kallen. “We are not stupid.”
I swing my eyes upward to study my husband. Is he on board with this crazy plan? Does he really believe my parents’ bodies could possibly still be alive? He is usually so pragmatic. Strange.
“Nobody thinks you are stupid, dear,” Tana says absently to Dagda. Her mind is already making plans. Plans I am not certain I agree with yet.
I guess it wouldn’t hurt to assess the situation, though. “Dad, can you find the site of the accident?”
He smiles sadly. “The site of my physical demise? Yes, I believe I will remember that spot forever.”
A deep frown on her face, Adriel gets my attention. “Xandra, this is a serious gray area. I am not certain you should be involved in whatever Tana and your parents are planning to do. You have a lot more to lose than they do.” She means my wings. But, are my wings more important than giving Mom and Dad their bodies back if it is at all possible? I don’t know.
“I am not committed to anything. I need way more information.” Glancing around the room, I add, “We all do.”
“Agreed,” Dagda concurs. In his mind, more information means ‘we’re not doing this.’
Kallen smiles proudly at me. “You are the voice of reason. It suits you.” I roll my eyes but smile back.
A screeching from the living room gets our attention. A few seconds later, Naja is hurrying into the room. “I do not believe the Pixie will survive the journey to the palace jail,” she informs Dagda. To me, she says, “It has agreed to let you save it.”
I glance down at my now healed finger and grimace. “Fine, but I will only try one more time.” If she hurts me again, she is on her own healing-wise. “Oh, and I want Taz and Felix standing by in case she has some tricks up her sleeve.” Not that she’s wearing clothes, but Naja knows what I mean.
“I believe they are on the beach. I will call for them to join you and have several guards continue the chase of the other Pixie.” She heads back the way she came to set these things in motion.
Kallen accompanies me to the living room. The Pixie is still curled up in a ball in the cage. She is trembling with pain and is still bleeding in several spots. She is in bad shape. With the amount of blood she has lost, I can’t believe she is still alive. Pixies are made of pretty sturdy stuff.
I move closer until I am in touching range. “Pandora,” I call. I doubt that is really her name, but it’s the only one I have. “You have one chance. If you don’t let me heal you, we will let you die.” I feel guilty saying it, but what choice do we have?
“F-f-fine,” she stutters just as Taz and Felix come in through the terrace door.
Tentatively, I reach out and put my finger through the bars of the cage. The Pixie flinches when I touch her, but that is her only reaction. So far. “This will hurt a little as things mend,” I explain. Drawing magic, I send it out. Only to have it repelled by something. I tr
y again. The same thing happens. It will only go so far and then it’s like hitting a wall. Slowly, it dawns on me and I slap myself in the forehead. I am so stupid. Felix explained this would happen. I turn sad eyes to Kallen. “I can’t heal her.”
Realization sets in for him, too. “Pixies don’t feel the effects of magic like other beings.” So, no magical healing for Pandora.
An annoyed sigh rings out behind us. “Let me through,” Tabitha tells the guards. Reluctantly, they step aside but are still on high alert in case the Pixie is somehow faking her injuries in some sort of escape plan. Once Tabitha is close enough, she peers into the cage, assessing the Pixie’s wounds. When she has a clear picture of what needs to be done, she turns to Kallen. “I need some things from the garden for a poultice.” She gives him a list and he leaves to retrieve the items. I am sent off for bandages and Kegan is sent for hot water and towels. She is going to heal the Pixie the old fashioned way.
When all the supplies are gathered, Tabitha mixes the poultice in a large ceramic bowl Alita brought from the kitchen. When she is finished, the guards move in close as Tabitha untwists the heavy wire holding the cage door closed. Taz and Felix are at her feet, ready to catch the Pixie if she tries to make a jump for it. She doesn’t. She can hardly move. She is definitely not faking the extent of her injuries.
Explaining what she is doing every step of the way, Tabitha cleans the Pixie’s wounds. There is a lot of cussing and name calling involved in the process. On both sides. When the wounds are as clean as they are going to get, Tabitha applies her poultice and the bandages. More cursing and complaining ensues. Again, on both sides. The Pixie is discovering that Tabitha can be just as crotchety as she is.
The whole process takes about half an hour before the cage door is once again closed and rewired. The guards sigh with relief. They were not looking forward to a Pixie chase. I wonder how the guards still looking for Pandora’s mates are doing. Not well, I assume, since we have not seen them since I called Taz and Felix back.
“I will make you some tea to drink for the pain and a little snack to get your strength back up,” Tabitha tells the Pixie. She bustles from the room to get it. If I didn’t know better, her old heart is softening toward the thing. She better be careful. It has been made quite clear that Pixies are not friend material.
Kallen, Kegan, Alita and I follow her out. Everyone else had remained in the kitchen to continue discussing the pros and cons of attempting to reunite Mom and Dad and their bodies. The discussion is still going strong. Glancing around the room, I take in the general vibe. My biological father is apoplectic, Isla is furious, Mom and Dad are growing ever more hopeful and Tana has an excited gleam in her eyes reminiscent of her crazier days. Adriel is sitting at the counter with her hand against her head trying to ward off the headache she is getting. Kallen and I take our places at the counter again and try to pick up on where the conversation has ended up.
From what I can tell, the discussion has become circular. Dagda and Isla say no, no. Tana, Mom and Dad say yes, yes. Over and over again. Adriel doesn’t say anything but she is starting to look a little green around the gills the more the rest of them talk. Good lord, this is getting us nowhere. Something needs to happen.
Kallen agrees. “Xandra and I will go to the Cowan realm and retrieve the remains of her parents’ bodies.” He says this with a straight face, but underneath, I can tell he is recoiling. Me, too. I don’t want to retrieve the dead, mangled bodies of my parents, either. Talk about traumatizing. But, what else can we do? It’s the only way to determine if there is any merit to Tana’s argument.
“I will come with you,” Tana informs us. Her hands are on her hips, ready for a fight if we try to say no.
I simply shrug. “Okay. You’ll know better than the rest of us if the spell you are debating is even possible.” Relieved, her posture relaxes.
“I will be coming, as well,” Dagda growls. One look at his face and I know better than to argue with him. Not that I mind if he comes. If Tana does go over the deep end, we will need all the help we can get trying to rein her in.
Enough talk. “Let’s get this over with.” I walk to the kitchen door and open it. Normally, I open passageways on the beach, but I don’t want to give the Pixie a clue I am about to use magic. She’s in a really bad mood and would eat my magic just to make herself feel better, I am sure. It’s best to avoid walking past her which we would have to do to get to the terrace door and the beach.
Everyone gathers around me in the driveway. I look at the eager and angry faces before me. I wonder which ones are going to turn out to be right. Only time will tell, but I really hope it’s Tana. I have never wanted so badly for someone to be right as I do at this moment.
Isla has her arms crossed over her chest and she is glaring at each of us in turn. “I cannot believe you are going through with this.”
I shrug. “What harm can there be in checking? In bringing their bodies back here?” I hope I didn’t just throw a challenge out into the universe.
Kallen attempts to appease her. “At the very least, Grandmother, we can give their bodies a proper burial.”
Dropping her arms to her side with a sigh, Isla accepts this idea. “That would be for the best.”
Before she changes her mind and tries to talk us out of it again, I reach out and rip the fabric between realms. A hole opens in the air before me and there stands my childhood home. I get a pang in my heart when I see it. It has been a while.
Kallen steps through first. Mom and Dad float after him. Tana and Dagda are next. When Kegan and Alita make a move to come with us, I shake my head. “You guys should stay here. It’s freezing in the Cowan realm this time of year and Alita, you and the baby are not used to that.”
“She is right,” Kegan says softly when Alita opens her mouth to argue. “You have been under enough stress with the ghosts and my dad. We should not add severe climate change on top of it all.” On the other side of the passageway, snow is being whipped around trees by a fierce wind. I shiver at the sight. I hate winter. Always have.
Reluctantly, Alita nods in agreement and puts a hand to her belly. “We can feel the cold through the passageway and the baby is already kicking in protest.” Excited, Kegan puts his hand over hers so he can feel the kicks, as well. That’s how we leave them. I step through and close the passageway.
9 Chapter
Running my hands vigorously up and down my arms, I not so subtly hint to Kallen, “Speaking of cold…”
He gets it. Suddenly, I am wearing a black parka, a hat, scarf and gloves. On my feet are heavy boots. “Better?” he asks as he dresses himself similarly.
I smile in appreciation. “Much.” Glancing at the house, I say, “Let’s go inside and get a map. I have no intention of trudging through the snow and cold but I’ll need an idea of where to teleport us.”
Dad nods. “Good idea.” He leads the way to the front door with Mom right behind him and they float through.
Kallen waves Dagda and Tana in front of us in a polite gesture but the two don’t move forward. Brow furrowed, Kallen asks, “What is it?”
Dagda clears his throat. “Are you certain we are welcome in their home?”
Rolling my eyes, I start walking toward the house. “Do you really think my mother would have held back in telling you if that wasn’t the case?”
Dagda chuckles. “Good point.” Taking Tana’s arm, he gently urges her shivering form forward.
At the door, Kallen unlocks it with magic and we enter. Inside, I am as surprised as I was last time I was here to find that the house no longer feels like home. It’s comfortable and holds a lot of memories, but I have a new home now. One that I love filled with people who I love.
The house is exactly the same as how we left it when we moved as a family to the Fairy realm. Aunt Barb still comes up here from time to time to check on things, and when she needs a break from the stress of her lab in Denver. She hasn’t made the house hers, though. The furnishings, th
e bedrooms, everything is left like a museum exhibit of how our lives once were. It’s kind of weird. “We should give the house to Aunt Barb. Let her redecorate it,” I tell my parents.
“It is a lovely house,” Tana says politely. “You must have been very comfortable here.”
“We were,” Dad agrees, wrapping a loving arm around Mom. She lays her head on his shoulder, lost for the moment in memories.
“A little lonely, but we were happy here,” I add. Not that I would ever want to move back. I’ve had my fill of Colorado mountain winters. Even with the heat on in the house, it’s still chilly. I glance toward the window. “We should get a move on. It’s almost dark and the snow doesn’t look like it’s going to let up anytime soon. I’ll grab a map.” It was early in the day in the Fae realm, but time moves differently here.
The others settle around the kitchen table while I go to the old classroom where my brother and I were homeschooled. I rummage through a drawer in a desk where Dad kept maps of the area and grab several of them. I have a general idea of where the accident occurred even though I never actually saw the site. Mom and Dad thought it was too morbid to bring us there. As I said before, we moved forward after the accident. We didn’t grieve the loss of their physical bodies, we accepted the new path life gave us. Looking back, what we thought was a positive thing may not have been the right thing to do. Not if Mom and Dad’s bodies could have been saved. But, we lived in a different world then. Not one filled with magic like we do now. There are different possibilities now.
Back in the kitchen, I find Kallen getting some coffee going. He has water in the kettle and is putting it on the stove to boil. “We need something warm in us for the trip up the mountain,” he explains. With a wink, he adds, “I remember how cold it gets out there.” Memories flash in my mind of our time in the mountains and I smile. When we began to fall in love. It seems like forever ago.
Clearing his throat, Dagda is clearly uncomfortable with the trip down memory lane. “Yes, well, I do apologize for driving you to such extremes.”