by Bonnie Lamer
A choked sound is wretched from Mom’s throat. “It’s too late,” she cries into Dad’s shoulder. He engulfs her in a hug, trying to hold back his own emotions.
“No,” Dagda calls back.
“What?” Kallen asks in surprise.
“They are…,” my biological father is suddenly at a loss for words.
“They are whole,” Tana finishes.
I echo Kallen. “What?”
Dagda’s eyes are wide when he turns back to us. “They are whole, unmarked. It is as if they were cushioned somehow from the damage done to the car.”
Kallen spins me around to face him. Voice filled with awe, he says, “You did this. You not only saved their souls, you saved their bodies at the time of the accident. Somehow wrapped them in your magic for safe keeping.”
I shake my head. “That’s impossible.”
“No, dear, it is true,” Tana says with a smile, coming closer. “These bodies have been perfectly preserved. It’s as if they were put in stasis, waiting for your magic to be strong enough to retrieve them.”
My eyes find Kallen’s again. “But, I don’t feel my magic.” I let the magic of the car retrieval spell go. All I feel now is the cold and snow.
Kallen shrugs. “Neither do I, which is not surprising. I have never felt the magic you use to hold your parents’ spirits, either. Yet, they are here.”
He has a point, but I am still not convinced. “Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe the Angels did it.”
“Doubtful,” Kallen disagrees. “For, that would affect free will and the course of nature. Angels are not allowed to interfere with death.”
“Then why do I still have my wings?” I argue. “If I interfered with death?”
“Perhaps because you are not a full Angel,” Tana reasons. “Your mortality saves you from such repercussions.”
“Whatever the reason, it can be discussed somewhere considerably warmer than here,” Dagda urges.
“Can you teleport the car?” Kallen asks.
Teleport a ton of metal? “I don’t know.” Holding my hands out, I call everyone to me. “I’ll teleport you guys home first. Then, I’ll come back alone and try.”
Kallen frowns. “I don’t like the idea of you being out here alone.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I think I’ll be fine.” Especially now that I know there isn’t a gruesome sight waiting for me in the car over there.
“Are you certain you would not like me to wait here? You can come back for me after you teleport the car.”
I shake my head. “No, I’ll be fine.” I am way past the fear of things that go bump in the night. I know I can take most of them. My husband knows this, too. Reluctantly, Kallen nods and takes my hand.
“We’ll meet you back there,” Dad says, a grin on his handsome face. He gives Mom a squeeze and they start off down the mountain in a state of excitement I have not seen since I don’t know when. I hope they remember there is still much to do before they are reunited with their bodies. If it’s even possible.
With a quick pull of magic, I teleport the rest of us. We are once again standing in front of my childhood home. “Go inside and get warm,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”
Concerned, Dagda asks, “Will you remember the way in the dark?”
I don’t believe I’ll ever forget that spot now. I smile. “I’ll remember.”
With a thought, I find myself once again standing in front of the old family car. I move closer to it this time, my curiosity getting the better of me. I believe Tana and Dagda, but I need to see for myself that my parents’ bodies are okay.
“I have kept watch over them.”
If my heart jumped any farther up my throat, it would be bulging out of my nose and mouth. I whirl around to the Angel who just scared the crap out of me. “Grandma, don’t sneak up on me like that.”
Lailah laughs the beautiful laugh of the Angels. “I am so sorry, dear.”
“So, you knew about this?”
“Not until I returned to Angel time.”
“Then, it’s okay that we do this?” I ask hopefully.
Beside my grandmother, another Angel appears. “Still asking questions we may not answer, I see,” Urim says with an amused smile.
I smile a greeting in return. “Hello, Urim. What brings you here?”
Urim begins walking around the car, peeking in the windows at different angles. “I simply came to say hello,” he says in such an off-hand manner it cannot possibly be true.
I cross my arms over my chest. Both for warmth and to express my annoyance. “Uh-huh. Spill.”
Looking at me over the roof of the car, he has the decency to look a tiny bit guilty. “A friend cannot come to say hello?”
“Sure, he can. But, a good friend also tells his friend the other reason he came,” I argue.
Grandma wraps an arm around me and rubs her hands up and down my sleeve. “You are freezing.”
“And you are changing the subject,” I insist.
“She has never been easily fooled,” another voice says from behind. I turn to find Tabbris standing there.
A feeling of dread builds within me. Tabbris never comes just to say hello. I want to cry. “We can’t do this, can we?”
Grandma’s arm hugs me closer. “Honestly, darling, we do not know.”
That was not the answer I expected. “What?”
“It has never been done before,” Urim says. “Spirits separated so long from their mortal bodies reunited.”
There is still something he isn’t saying. “There could be side effects?” I ask.
Tabbris joins Urim at the car. Her attention appears to be more on my parents’ bodies and him than on me, as she says, “Unintentionally helping spirits remain after they die is easily overlooked. Intentionally cheating death by reuniting those spirits with bodies that should have perished, that is uncharted territory.”
That was a clear warning. “Who decides if it’s okay or not?”
Grandma lays her head against mine. “Only you can decide what to do in this situation.”
“But,” I clarify, “afterwards, someone will judge my actions.”
Tabbris smiles and there’s a tinge of sadness in it. “Someone always judges afterwards.” Often, it’s her.
“Will it be you?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No. A decision such as this will come from a higher Angel than myself.”
Frowning, I admit, “I don’t understand how it’s different. What difference does it make if I just save their spirits and bodies or if I save their spirits and their bodies and put them back together?”
Grandma turns me to face her. “It is not the act of saving their bodies that is the problem. You have done that and there were no repercussions. Anchoring their willing spirits is not much different than spirits willing to stay on their own. You simply gave them more substance.” She pauses before continuing. “The gray area comes from reuniting spirit to body. You will be giving them another chance at mortal life. A real life, not simply as reanimated corpses with soul remnants inside as black magic can make happen. You are giving them a second mortal life. Something none of us are supposed to have the power to do.”
“Above my pay grade, in other words,” I grumble.
Grandma nods. She lived recently enough to understand my slang. Urim and Tabbris are a bit confused. “Yes, above your pay grade,” Grandma confirms.
I glance at each of them in turn. “Won’t you guys get in trouble for coming here to tell me this?”
Tabbris straightens and meets my eyes again. “You are facing a decision that extends past your mortal understanding. This decision must come from knowledge of your Angel heritage. For this reason, we have been allowed to come.”
Urim nods. “Fates are difficult things, yours especially.” He should know, they are his specialty. “Your ultimate fate may hinge on this decision. It was thought only fair to give you more knowledge from which to base your decision.”
Tabbris s
teps around the car and moves closer. “We have said what we came to say. I am afraid we must leave you now before we say anything to sway your decision one way or the other.” It may be too late for that. “Good bye, Xandra.”
Grandma kisses the top of my head. “Good bye, my precious girl.”
“Take care, Xandra,” Urim says with a wave.
In a blink, the three of them are gone.
12 Chapter
Alone again in the dark, I am weighted down by the knowledge I just received. My feet are like anchors as I try to lift them from the snow and move toward the car again. It seems to take forever before I finally reach it. Inside, I find what I was told I would find. Perfectly preserved bodies. I can’t help myself. I reach out to touch my mother’s golden blonde hair. Something I loved to do as a little girl, its color the opposite of my black hair. I meet some resistance as I do, and for the very first time, I feel the residue of my magic. The magic holding them in stasis. It feels like the magic of a circle which could explain why others can’t feel it even though it’s not truly circle magic. No one else would be able to see them if it was. I pull my hand back, afraid of somehow breaking the spell with my touch as I do when I touch circle magic. To be even safer, I back away from the car.
What do I do? Before me is the answer to the prayers I have been saying since I was fourteen years old. My parents can be whole again. They can function in the world around them as living, breathing beings. They can be real parents to Zac. Scratch that, they are real parents to Zac. But they can do things with him that are beyond their reach now. Hug him, hold him, and teach him to do all the things they taught me. Dad can take him fishing and camping. Mom can teach him Witch magic on her own. Assuming her magic returns in full force with her body.
But, what could doing this mean for me? There is a very real possibility that I would lose my wings for overstepping my limits. I would lose my Angel magic. As a Witch Fairy, I am strong. But, would I be strong enough to do the job destiny laid before me? Could I be a force in the universe strong enough to unite realms and help bring peace? Hell, am I strong enough to do that now? Somedays, it doesn’t feel like it. Other days, when a crisis has been averted and long standing issues resolved, it feels like I can do it. Am I ready to give all that up? Do I have the right to give it all up?
Yes, we say our destiny is our own. We are given free will to make our own choices, but there are consequences which must be considered. How many lives could be lost, how much peace left unfound, if I give my parents their life back? How selfish of an act would it be?
If I don’t return them to their bodies, how long before I would need to let my parents go for good? They will be haunted by vengeful spirits for as long as they remain in their spirit form. Words Rashnu spoke come back to me. Adriel is too loyal to leave, even if she is to spend her mortal life as a target. As long as Mom and Dad are around in their spirit form, Adriel will be forced to share their misery because her boss is right. Adriel would never simply walk away from a friend in need.
Slumping against the mangled metal at the front end of the car, I hang my head. I have no idea what to do. How do I make such a choice? Whether it was Voltaire or simply the dad in Spiderman who said it, he was right. With great power comes great responsibility. I owe it to all those I could help to retain my power and be the person I am destined to be. But, my parents sacrificed so much to keep me safe. Don’t I owe it to them to let them finally be happy? To live the lives they should have had if they hadn’t had me to worry about? Or, am I simply falling into the power trap? Lord Acton wrote, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Am I simply deeming myself powerful enough to make choices regarding life and death that are most definitely above my station in the universe to make? Do I have the right to give back to my parents something that rightfully should have been taken from them years ago? It was their time to die. Wasn’t it? Or not since I was able to save them?
I don’t know how long I sit here in the snow and cold before I feel a stabbing pain in my head. Words flow through my mind as a message from Kallen comes to me. We are worried. Is everything okay? No, not at all. I wish I could send him a message back. Not that one, of course, but something letting him know what is keeping me.
I glance back over my shoulder. I need to do something. Now that the car is lifted from the side of the mountain, it can’t sit here for long. It could be discovered tonight, tomorrow, next year. At some point, someone will travel this road. I am not certain, but I suspect that once their bodies are removed from this area, the spell will be broken. If humans find them, they will be taken down the mountain and treated as dead bodies. All hope of reuniting Mom and Dad with them would be lost. I certainly can’t put the car back where it was, even if I decide not to reunite spirit and body. Who knows what natural disaster that could cause?
I need help. I need the one person I turn to when faced with these types of decisions. The Fairy who will love me no matter what I decide to do. I need Kallen. Before the thought fully processes, I am already back at the house. I find him outside, pacing in the snow.
His relief at seeing me is palpable. Placing hands on my shoulder, he asks, “Are you okay? I have had this strange feeling since you left that something was wrong.”
Placing a hand on his cheek, I smile sadly. “You are too perceptive sometimes.”
“Tell me,” he insists. So, I do. When I am finished, his is almost as depressed as I am. “I am so sorry you are forced to make this decision.”
“There is no decision to make.” Dad’s voice resonates in the night, scaring the hell out of me and even making Kallen jump a little. I said it before, they need cow bells or something. “You will not risk your destiny to change ours,” Dad contends.
“Dad, it’s not polite to eavesdrop,” I scold.
“Then, you should not stand so close to the door when you speak,” Dagda says, as he opens said door to address us.
Hands on my hips, I scowl at him. “You were eavesdropping, too?”
“We were coming to find you two,” Tana explains. “When we heard you speaking, we did not want to interrupt.”
Kallen cocks his head to the side in annoyance. “Between interrupting and eavesdropping, the former would have been more polite.”
Tana’s cheeks can clearly be seen turning red in the light from the living room. “Be that as it may, that is not what we did.”
“Obviously,” I grumble.
“Come inside,” Dagda insists, stepping aside so we can move through the door. “You are freezing.”
I am freezing. The temperature has fallen since we arrived and my nose may never have feeling again. Moving past my biological father and his wife, I step into the warmth of the house with Kallen close behind. My exposed skin is so cold, it actually hurts as it begins to thaw. Like tiny needles poking my cheeks, nose and forehead. A fire has been lit in the fireplace and I move closer to it, removing my gloves and holding my hands out toward the warmth.
Mom floats next to me but is careful to keep her cold form from touching me. “Xandra, your father is right. We cannot ask this of you. I think it is time to move on.”
“We will not ruin Adriel’s life,” Dad adds. “Your brother will be well cared for by you and others in his life who love him. We are ready.”
“What does your heart tell you to do?” Tana asks.
I turn my head to look at her. “My heart is pretty damned confused at the moment.”
She shakes her head. “No, our minds get confused. Our hearts rarely do.”
Sighing heavily, I unwrap the scarf from around my neck and remove the coat I am wearing. Kallen makes them disappear before they reach the couch I toss them to. I don’t speak yet. I let Tana’s words sink in and I search my heart instead of my head for an answer.
Behind me, a loud wailing comes from the kitchen, growing louder with each heartbeat. I close my eyes and hang my head. The question of whether or not the vengeful spirits can find my parents in
any realm has been answered. Magic flies at the thing and Dagda speaks the exorcism spell. The room fills once again with blessed silence.
After several long moments, I believe I find it. The choice I want to, and will, make. I find the courage to speak it aloud. “My heart is saying that I’ve already done it.” I turn first to Kallen for support, and then my parents. “My magic made the decision years ago. It was just waiting for my conscious ability to catch up. I committed myself to saving both you and your bodies the night you died. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have the intention of reuniting you. Selfish as that may be, I am going to do it.” Consequences be what they may.
Kallen comes to me and wraps his arms around my waist. “That is a brave choice to make.” He lowers his lips to mine. “Whatever the consequences, you and I will always be happy together.”
I smile up at him. I suspect there could be some pretty nasty consequences. But, having him by my side will make them bearable. Nodding, I say, “Let’s do this.”
13 Chapter
Bundling up again, Kallen, Dagda and I brave the cold, icy mountain. I teleport us back to the spot where my parents’ bodies await. “I am going to get them out of the car and the two of you are going to pick them up,” I tell the two Fairies. I could probably lift my mom’s body if I had to, but I’m worried about dropping her soon after. Better to have Dagda or Kallen do it. Approaching the car, I reach my hands in and lay one on each body. I think about a spot several feet away and teleport myself and the bodies there. The bodies land with a thump on the snow and ice. Oops. That might leave a mark. Now that the bodies are out of my protective spell, I assume they can be harmed. Good thing Mom and Dad were dressed warmly for their trip. At least they won’t get frostbite before we get them home.
Approaching the two figures, Kallen and Dagda each carefully reach down and, a bit shyly on Dagda’s part for he has my mother, pick up a body. Honestly, it would probably be weirder for him if my mother’s spirit was still in it. Kallen easily lifts my dad’s six foot, two hundred pound frame. Laying my hands on my husband and my biological father, I teleport us back to the house feeling good about all of this now that the decision is made. I press the thought of possibly losing my wings to the back of my mind to worry about later.