“Nay, I’m with Adoron now,” Benir said with a wink.
Krishani felt a pit in his stomach. Benir beamed. Adoron was the most respected elder in Amersil, and to fail him meant certain shame. He regained his thoughts and looked back at Benir and nodded. “Congratulations.”
“Will you come down for the feast?”
More knots. “No, I would rather watch from up here.” Krishani’s stomach growled, giving away his hunger.
“Nay, that won’t do. Come. The Brothers will be thrilled to hear about your adventures.” He pushed off the balcony and moved towards the stairs. He looked back at Krishani expectantly. The boy sighed and trudged along beside him, pushing his black mask over his eyes.
He followed Benir into the Grand Hall. They passed the first few clusters of round tables and Krishani stopped in his tracks. Kaliel was with the kinfolk in the middle of the floor, spinning and giggling. Her laughter wafted through the air and he felt choked by her presence. The anxiety was too much. He turned to leave, but Benir had an arm on him.
“Come, they have a table near the servants’ quarters.” Benir went to lead them through the crowd again, but when he turned around he came face to face with an elven girl in a blue mask, edged with gold. She accidentally bumped into him and sheepishly looked up.
“I’m so sorry. Would you like to dance?” she asked.
Benir put up his hand to refuse and tried to go off in the direction of the Brotherhood. He looked behind him. Krishani still stood there without a word. Benir nodded his head at him, but Krishani refused to move an inch.
“Our friend Kaliel needs a partner. Perhaps you could step in?” the elven girl said. She was older, long brown hair and bright blue eyes. Krishani found her plain and unattractive, but with the mention of Kaliel’s name, he realized the elven girl was from Evennses, probably from Kaliel’s childhood. “Someone must save her from the younglings.” She giggled, glanced in their direction and looked back at Benir, who was still motioning for Krishani to go.
The song ended, the bards stopped playing, and the girl stood there for a moment. Benir shook his head and took towards the Brotherhood, while Krishani looked ahead at the fountain, attempting to find the strength to move. He wanted to leave, but something told him to stay. The elven girl was pulled away by the other kinfolk as the bards struck up a slow tune.
Krishani tried to turn away, escape into the courtyards, but as the dance floor cleared, Kaliel came into view. She was a vision. She wore a deep purple linen gown that clung to her body and a purple mask edged with silver tear drops. She twirled with the last of the kinfolk and her white hair danced around her. She smiled and laughed, but when she saw him, she stopped, letting her hands drop from those of the kinfolk. She nodded for them to go to the tables and ran her hands down her dress, trying to smooth out imaginary wrinkles. As the song hit a sorrowful lull she stepped towards him.
“Krishani.” She sounded surprised and confused.
Krishani searched the crowds beyond her for Benir. The scent of her was like freshly-cut herbs and grass and apples. Beautiful, he thought. Knots formed in his stomach as he longed to pull her into his embrace. He knew she would protest. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” she said. Her eyes had a pleading look to them, like she wanted something else but couldn’t say it. Krishani thought she must have seen the Brotherhood arrive. They were intimidating with their full robes and ignorant attitudes.
Krishani let out a sigh. He knew how much it might hurt, but he couldn’t take the tension any longer. He wanted to hold her closer, to smell her hair, and to feel her body pressed up against his. “Would you ...” he began.
She stared at him, curious, her green eyes meeting his. They were cloudy and full of despair.
Krishani let out a nervous sigh as he took her eyes in. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Would you like to dance?”
She glanced over at the kinfolk at the tables. Krishani followed her gaze. One of the elvens had her hands full with them and none of them seemed to be paying attention to her. She took a deep breath. “Aye.”
He caught her hand and pulled her into his embrace, rocking back and forth to the song. At first she was inches away from him, but as the song swelled he found himself against her tight, her head buried in his chest. It seemed so natural that everything but her faded away. Whatever the Brotherhood would say didn’t matter to him. He only hoped it was the same for her, that her kinfolk wouldn’t notice her dancing. Krishani carefully moved his feet in a small circle as the song reached its climax. The only question he wanted to ask pounded at the front of his mind.
Why?
“I’m afraid,” she whispered as though he had spoken his thoughts aloud. Krishani wound his fingers through her hair, caressing her neck and sliding them down her back. He wanted the moment to last forever. The song neared its end, the notes dwindling down. He opened his eyes and pulled. As the last notes were struck, he twirled her under his arm once and dropped her hand.
She pulled back and took a wide step away from him. “Thank you,” she said with a wan smile.
Krishani went to speak, but she turned and fled towards the lower west wing. He looked to his right to see the elven girl staring at him with a fiery blaze. He passed it off and looked towards the exit. Benir had taken off in that direction, the Brotherhood’s table was on the other side of the fountain. He took a deep breath and walked towards the west wing, determined to face Kaliel in private.
Kaliel pulled off the mask, tracing the faint outlines of her splotchy cheeks and red eyes in the crystal water basin. She was in the lavatory, the only place close enough for her to be alone. She clutched either side of the basin and stared into her green eyes. Her heart thumped aberrantly, palms sweaty, an uncontrollable urge to melt into Krishani’s embrace pulsing through her.
Stop it! she tried to command herself. Temptation, temptation, temptation! She recalled the nights she spent resisting the urge to end the silence between her and Krishani and allow herself to do what she wanted to do. She heard someone in the hallway behind the door. Luenelle or Pux, she assumed. One of them would come to tell her just how wrong this was, but she didn’t need their opinions. She wiped her face and tried to find her strength. Someone entered the room and she stiffened. The earthy scent wafted through the air and she knew who it was. She turned and Krishani stood there, looking defeated and broken. She pressed her back against the basin and clutched it with both hands.
Her eyes widened. “Why did you follow me? I wish to be alone.” Her voice was high-pitched and shrill and she hadn’t meant to sound that cruel. She cringed on the inside as his expression twisted into further anguish.
“Please, Kaliel,” he whispered.
She wanted to press herself against him and feel his lips on her hair, on her temple, on her cheek, on her lips. She gulped and tried to control the emotions thrashing within her. It hurt so much to keep her distance and his plea was making it worse. “You shouldn’t be here,” she managed.
Krishani boldly stepped forward. She was terrified, and she knew it was written all over her expression. He loved her, that was clear, but she couldn’t accept it. Wouldn’t.
“I can’t live like this,” he said.
A tremor rippled through her. She fought for control, but the Flame inside begged to come forward. Please, let go, the voice in her head pleaded. She closed her eyes and felt them changing color, felt her aura pulsating and wondered if he saw it. She bit her lip and her fingers ached as she gripped the basin harder.
“You can’t be with me, the Brotherhood won’t allow it,” she muttered, trying to gain some ground, something to make him turn from her. She opened her eyes.
He took another step forward, and she tasted his earthiness on her tongue. Her hand slipped off the basin and she faltered, trying to find her balance again.
Instead, his hand slid into hers and he pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest to steady her. His
eyes were wide as she stared at him. And then he brushed his lips against hers. All her barriers fell. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she sank into his kiss with longing as tears slid down her cheeks.
His hands moved along her back as he pulled her away from the basin, trying to move to the music echoing through the walls. She broke off, and doubled over, clutching her torso she sunk to her knees.
Krishani knelt next to her, his expression all compassion. “Kaliel, this is madness. I can’t stop feeling what I feel.” He brushed his finger down her face, wiping away another tear.
She buried her face in her hands. “I can’t stop feeling it either.”
Krishani slipped his hand into hers and pulled her up. He went to kiss her again, but she pulled away and moved towards the door.
“You will marry the land.” The words barely came out. She covered her mouth and left the room.
Luenelle headed towards the powder room, determined to have a word with Kaliel about what she had seen on the dance floor. Love was a peculiar emotion to her, not something she had experienced, and she feared how far the connection had gone between Kaliel and Krishani.
“Where are you going?” Pux asked as she approached the west wing.
“Leave it,” Luenelle snapped. She turned to face him. “This business does not concern you.”
Pux playfully narrowed his eyes at her. “Business never concerns me. Come on, I need a dance partner.”
She sighed as she realized everyone else was in good spirits and nobody seemed to have noticed the vibes between Kaliel and Krishani. She looked passed Pux towards the group of younger kinfolk they had brought with them. “Eurida will dance. I can’t at this moment.”
Pux frowned. “Kaliel!”
Luenelle followed his gaze and noted the girl fleeing from the lavatory. She gave the feorn a hard look as she moved towards her. The girl was fast as she neared the staircase and ran up the steps. Luenelle followed as she turned down the ninth hallway and closed the door behind her. She paused for a moment then knocked. No matter what her gut told her, she couldn’t let this go.
“Leave me alone, I have nothing more to say,” Kaliel said, her words choked with sobs.
Luenelle softened. “It’s Luenelle. Will you speak to me?”
The door opened and Luenelle came inside, closing the door behind her. She quite enjoyed the room before her. Kaliel’s magical chest was open and was full of herbs and oils she had collected and made in the past few moons. On the bureau was a burning candle, its light reflecting in the mirror.
“How are the kinfolk in Evennses?” Kaliel asked as she tried to hide her face.
Luenelle continued to survey the room. “They’re fine. I have been told I will be called soon.”
“I long to go back there.”
Luenelle gave her a stern look. “And pass up an opportunity to learn from the greatest elder in Avristar?”
Kaliel sighed and sat on the bed. She grabbed the journal on the end table and opened it.
Luenelle idly eavesdropped on the images Kaliel had sketched—two beings with elaborate crowns and the sun shining down on them. It didn’t make sense to her, but she didn’t question what it meant to Kaliel.
“That isn’t the reason I wish to return,” Kaliel said.
“The elven boy you danced with tonight ...”
Kaliel looked at the floor. “Aye.”
Luenelle paced, uncomfortable. “Love is a dangerous thing,” she began, though she was at a loss for words herself.
“Love is meant to be when it is given by the land or the elders. Or so it has been in every story I have ever read.”
“You’re right about that. It still doesn’t answer why you’d disobey the land so carelessly. You know what has happened to others who did.” Luenelle stopped and crossed her arms.
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Desaunius.” Luenelle sighed. “You spent more time with her than I did, didn’t she tell you?”
Recognition dawned on Kaliel’s face. “Yes, she is in solitude.”
“Exactly. She wasn’t given to him and look where it led.”
Kaliel looked sick and Luenelle felt guilty for approaching her like this. “She said it wasn’t like that on Tempia.”
“It doesn’t matter, history matters,” she said like a true lorekeeper.
Kaliel furrowed her brow and twisted her hands in her lap. She looked agitated by something more than just the elven boy, but Luenelle was hesitant to pry.
“Who is he?”
“Lord Istar’s apprentice, and a member of the Brotherhood of Amersil.”
“How does he feel about you?”
“Love.” The look in her eyes was sincere, happy but forlorn. “He hates this as much as I do, but I’ll resist it. I must obey the laws of the land. When Avristar is ready she’ll allow me a mate.” Kaliel spoke the words as though they were out of some history textbook in the library.
Luenelle felt uncertain and cautious at the same time. She nodded in approval. “You don’t believe you’ll marry the land?”
Kaliel looked at her as she curled herself around the foot of the bed and sat down beside her. “Why would I?”
Luenelle knew it was a very real possibility, but the frivolous idea of settling down in one of the villages in Orlondir or Nandaro seemed more comforting.
“Desaunius is convinced you’ll go to the Lands of Men. She hasn’t said why.”
Kaliel looked worse. Her forehead knitted in grief as she ran her hands along her torso. “My parable.”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Bloom the weed of temptation and expire the great garden of life. Bloom the flower of sacrifice and sustain the great garden in strife,” Kaliel whispered.
Luenelle assessed the waif of a girl who looked like she had seen better days. What had happened to her since she left Evennses? She averted her gaze, looking at the window instead while sorting out her thoughts about the parable. She had only heard parables which were similar to her own and most were light and fluffy. However, Kaliel’s parable carried a weight with it that perplexed her. She considered the words. Kaliel was so broken and she wanted to fix her. “So? Don’t �bloom the weed of temptation,’ it’s not hard is it?”
Kaliel looked at her, worry still etched on her face, crossed with a certain peculiar confusion. “I don’t know.”
“You have misinterpreted the parable,” Luenelle said. She stood with the eminence of an Avristar Priestess and took towards the door. “I would be very careful about that elven boy. You don’t want Avristar to get involved.” She opened the door and left Kaliel to her thoughts.
Krishani stood in the lavatory, stunned by Kaliel’s departure and by her strong words.
He reluctantly left the room that had grown stale and entered the Grand Hall. Most of the dancing had continued, but he noticed the elders were gone. He wondered if they had left to Tirion Mountain to meet with the Gatekeeper. Istar, who had invited him to come for this portion of the festival, was also gone.
“Have the elders gone forth already?” he asked one of the kin from Araraema.
“Aye, and the festivities will continue for a while longer yet.” The girl paused. “Would you care to dance?”
“No,” Krishani spat. He brushed her off and wended his way through the empty tables and chairs that had been set for the feast.
He emerged in the courtyard, and heard horses neighing. There wasn’t enough room in the stables to hold them all. He smelled the crisp smoky scent of campfires and felt a soft breeze on his face. However, none of this mattered as he solemnly walked the path to the waterfall. He needed a place to be alone to think, to be, to wonder, and to find some glimmer of hope.
He tilted his chin towards the sky and looked at Mount Tirion. Istar would be disappointed with him for not attending, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be with Kaliel. He heard the rushing waters of the falls ahead of him and then shrieks of kinfolk. He frowned when he
arrived. Around the edges of the pool were dozens of kinfolk milling about, stretching their legs into the water and darting in and out of the bushes on the other side. Krishani felt uneasy. This was his place, the kinfolk weren’t supposed to be there.
Who told them of this place? he wondered as he scanned the kinfolk, hoping to find someone he knew. He recognized the elven girl on the other side with her arms crossed. She was eyeing the younger ones and seemed to be glaring at a feorn in particular. Krishani’s mouth gaped open as the feorn’s eyes met his and he began to cross the forest brush to confront him. He didn’t look happy.
“Are you Krishani?” the feorn asked.
Krishani narrowed his eyes to slits and glanced over at the elven girl who was trying not to watch them. He realized this feorn must be one of Kaliel’s kinfolk from Evennses. “Yes. And yourself?”
“Pux,” he answered. He shifted, obviously nervous and looked back towards the elven girl for help, but she was still refusing to pay attention to their conversation.
“Who told you?” Krishani tried not to glower at him, but the feorn had trespassed.
“I found it long ago,” Pux answered, an air of defiance to his tone. He seemed nervous and agitated about something, and Krishani assumed it had to do with Kaliel, but he couldn’t be sure. He looked past Pux at the waterfall and shook his head.
“The waterfall is forbidden,” he said. He so desperately wanted to retreat into the cave behind the falls and forget about the kinfolk defiling what he considered his secret.
“Aye, many things in Avristar are forbidden. Or so the elders have told me.”
Krishani sighed. “Please leave.” He shook his head as thoughts of Kaliel made him feel hollow and broken. He moved towards the stone staircase and gave Pux a hard stare.
SURRENDER (The Ferryman + The Flame) Page 14