“So I was.”
Addie turned her attention back to the recipe box. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t find what she was looking for. She doubted she had the ingredients for it, anyway. She made a mental note to get to the Piggly Wiggly ASAP. Maybe she could find something quick, with just a couple of ingredients. As she leafed through the yellowed index cards, her nails scraped against a piece of paper that was larger than the cards. It wasn’t yellowed like the rest. It had been carefully folded over several times. In her aunt’s handwriting was a recipe for something called boiled tea.
Boiled Tea (You’ll need this for when you have company, Adelaide.)
In large glass pitcher add 1–2 cups of sugar. Place metal knife in pitcher.
On stove boil 2–3 cups of water. Add 2 family tea bags. Cover and let steep.
(Remember, Adelaide, the longer you steep, the stronger the tea.)
Remove the tea bags and pour hot tea slowly into pitcher.
(Remember, Adelaide, the metal knife will absorb heat so glass won’t break.)
Now add cold water until tea is the color you desire.
Stir well!
(Don’t forget what I said about the tea. People down in these parts like strong tea. But if you steep for too long, you’ll become bitter. There’s a fine line between strong and bitter, my angel. Don’t become bitter.)
Adelaide fought the tears she could feel forming in the corners of her eyes. Her aunt had known she’d come here. She’d known Addie wouldn’t throw away her beloved recipe box, and more importantly, she’d known Addie would open it.
“Do you think Aunt Tilda would be proud of me?” Addie asked her mother after a few minutes.
“Oh, honey, she is proud of you,” her mother replied. “I can feel her all around this house.”
Addie smiled. “I think I’m going to sit out on the porch for a while. Want to come?”
“I’m going to stay in here with Felix. You go on.”
Jerry was sitting in the porch swing. Long curls of smoke siphoned out through his nose and mouth. He gave his stepdaughter a sheepish grin. “Don’t tell your mother. She thinks I quit.”
“She’s going to smell it on you.”
“Have a seat,” Jerry said. “That is if you can abide my secondhand smoke.”
“I think I’ll be okay.”
“So,” Jerry began after a few minutes of silence. “Do you really like it down here?”
Addie shrugged. “I guess so.”
“You guess?”
“Yes,” Addie paused. “I mean, yes.”
“You don’t sound very confident.”
“I like it,” Addie said. “I guess I just thought things would be different.”
“Different?”
“Uncomplicated.”
Jerry ground his cigarette onto the rim of a soda can. “You’ve had a rough go of it for the last little while. I don’t think anybody could have handled it any better than you have.”
“Not counting my little outburst today.”
“Counting it,” Jerry said.
“Thanks.”
“I know I’m not your father. I know you were an adult when your mom and I met.” He furrowed his brow, and a cascade of wrinkles tumbled down his forehead. “But would it be okay for me to give you some fatherly advice?”
“I think it’s about time someone started giving me some fatherly advice.”
“No matter where you move, life is going to get complicated. It’s going to get messy.”
“I’m tired of messy. I’m ready for normal.”
“Good luck with that. I felt the same way about my life when I met your mother. I’d just gotten out of a divorce, just moved to a new city, just started out on my own for the first time in a long time. The last thing I wanted was to meet someone new.”
“So then why did you start dating my mom?”
“As if I had any choice in the matter. Do you know your mother?” Jerry laughed. “She’s quite persuasive. But it was more than that, Addie. I fought it for a while, but then I realized that it was silly to continue fighting what was right in front of me for some idealized version of life I’d built up in my head. That kind of normal just doesn’t exist.”
“You’re right,” Addie replied. “I know you’re right. It’s just that my whole life, all my plans, all my dreams, everything was destroyed with one accident. Now I’m starting all over, and I don’t want to be sad again. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to answer any more questions.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Well, no,” Jerry admitted. “I don’t know. Not really.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I’ve been waiting to give this to you all day.”
“What is it?”
“Just open it.”
Addie looked inside the envelope. It was a check. “Jerry, no. I told Mom I don’t want your money.”
“She told me. But you and your mother aren’t the only ones who can be stubborn, you know. She tells me you may be staying longer than you anticipated, and I thought you might need the extra help.”
“Just an extra month or two,” Addie said. “I’ll pay you back.”
“Just let me be your father this one time.” He put his arm around Addie and pulled her close. “Now, you like this Jasper fellow? The one we had lunch with today?”
“Yes.”
“Well, he seemed nice enough,” Jerry said. “Kind of stuffy, but nice. His father, he’s a real asshole, isn’t he?”
Addie covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. The giggle turned into a laugh, and before they knew it, both she and Jerry were roaring.
“What on earth is going on out here?” Addie’s mother demanded, sticking her head through the doorway. “Jerry, what’s that smell? Have you been smoking? Have you been smoking?”
“Of course not!” Jerry protested, trying to catch his breath. “Addie and I were just solving the world’s problems, weren’t we?”
“Absolutely. Come out and sit with us, Mom,” Addie replied. “You won’t believe the things your husband has been saying about you.”
THE NEXT MORNING, as Addie’s mother and Jerry packed their bags, she found herself wishing that they could stay longer. Part of her longed for the solitude of her empty house, yes, but she thought she could forgo that solitude for a few more days.
“Are you sure you all have to leave today?” Addie asked. “You never miss work, Mom. Don’t you have some time?”
“You know how busy this time of year is, Addie,” her mother replied. “The end of summer brings out the stupid in people. I can’t tell you how many drunks we stitch up on a daily basis.”
“Don’t forget about the guy who accidentally glued himself into a gorilla suit,” Jerry said with a wry grin. “That one’s my favorite.”
“How do you accidentally glue yourself into anything, let alone a gorilla suit?”
“We never got the whole story.” Addie’s mother laughed. “But I’m willing to bet my nursing license it had something to do with several shots of whiskey.”
“People are ridiculous,” Addie agreed. “But I still wish you could stay.”
“I know, sweetheart,” her mother replied. “We’ve had such a good time. Maybe we can visit again soon.”
“I hope so,” Addie said. “This house is too quiet sometimes.”
“Your aunt used to say that. That’s what she would always say when she called to ask if you could come and visit.”
“I remember.” Addie thought about the recipe she’d found the night before. She was filled with a longing for her aunt. She wanted to rush back into the kitchen and take out the recipe from the box and pore over it. She wanted to see her name written in her aunt’s scrawling cursive.
Addie’s mother leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “We should probably head on outta here. We’ve got to have that car back before noon if we only want to pay for half a day.”
“Will you call me when you get home?”
“Of course we will,” Jerry said. “Now, get over here and give me a hug.”
Addie bounded over to Jerry and wrapped her arms around his neck. “It was good to see you, Jerry.”
“You too, kiddo,” Jerry replied. “Don’t forget about our talk.”
“I won’t,” Addie promised.
“Let’s move it, Jer,” Addie’s mother said, pulling her rolling suitcase toward the door. “I’m not paying for a full day!”
CHAPTER 36
ADDIE COULD SEE LOREN SITTING ALONE INSIDE JENNIE’S. HE was concentrating on the menu, one hand stuck inside the peanut bowl. She thought about leaving, making up some kind of excuse so that she didn’t have to go in. She couldn’t remember why she’d agreed to the date in the first place. She felt the same pang of guilt she’d been feeling since she left her house—what about Jasper? Would he be angry if he knew she was going to dinner with another man, another man who was technically one of his employees?
It’s only dinner, she thought. Besides, she hadn’t even spoken to Jasper since her mother and Jerry’s visit. He hadn’t called. He hadn’t texted. He hadn’t made a single attempt to have any kind of contact with her, and it’s only dinner, she repeated inside her head.
Loren looked up and waved. His hand knocked over the bottle of beer in front of him as she stepped inside, and it spewed out onto the table.
“Well, you look right pretty this evening.” Loren stood up to greet her.
“Thanks,” Addie replied.
“Thought maybe you’d changed your mind.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I saw you standing outside.” Loren pointed to the window. “Looked like you were tryin’ to make up your mind.”
“I was just checking my reflection,” Addie said.
“Well, ain’t no reason for that.”
“Hey, y’all.” Jennie appeared in front of them. “What can I get ya?”
“I haven’t had time to look at the menu,” Addie said. “Do you have a suggestion?”
“Everything’s good, darlin’.”
“I’ll just have the usual.” Loren pulled the menu away from Addie’s face. “I’d recommend the burger. With everything.”
“I’ll have that, but with no tomatoes.”
“Good choice.” Jennie winked at her.
“How long have you been here, in Eunice?” Addie asked Loren once Jennie meandered off.
“A few months.”
“And you already have a usual?”
Loren grinned. “I come here just about every day for lunch. Jennie’s brother Jerome is a great cook.”
“I’ve just been here one time,” Addie admitted. Her cheeks flushed as she thought about that night.
“So what have you been doing since you moved here?” Loren asked. “Well, other than making the locals angry at parties.”
“That’s why I don’t go out. I always end up making people angry.”
“Something tells me Redd Jones is always angry.”
“Something tells me you’re right.”
“Do you know why Redd has it out for you?”
“I don’t know that he has it out for me.” Addie shifted in the booth. The bends of her knees were sweaty. “We just got off on the wrong foot is all.”
“You think it has anything to do with that dog staying with Jasper?” Loren took a swig of his beer.
“So you’ve seen her.”
“Everybody on the farm has seen her,” Loren replied. “It’s kinda hard to hide a big white pit bull.”
“She’s not that big.”
“Not since she’s had them pups.”
“So you’ve seen them, too.”
“They’re cute, but rumor has it that they’re not Jasper’s.”
“Oh, yeah?” Addie bit the sides of her cheeks. “Where did you hear that?”
“Just around.” Loren shrugged. “You know anything about it?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Why do you care what I know?” Addie reached down to scratch her sweaty legs. “I thought this was dinner, not an interrogation.”
“Why are you being so defensive?”
“You know,” Addie said, twisting herself out of the booth, “I think I’m just going to leave.”
“Aw, come on, don’t be like that.” Loren followed Addie outside. “I was just curious, that’s all.”
“What’s it matter to you, anyway?”
“It doesn’t.” Loren jammed his hands down into his pockets. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. You came in looking so pretty. I didn’t know what to say.”
Addie sighed. “It’s all right.”
“Come on back inside.”
“I can’t,” Addie said. “Look, you’re really nice. And you seem like a good guy, but this was a mistake.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“It’s not like that.” Addie struggled to come up with the right words. “I just can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.”
“Are you seeing somebody?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I don’t even know how much longer I’ll be living here. I hadn’t planned to be here this long.”
Loren gave her a half smile. “You don’t know much, do you?”
“I don’t know anything right now.”
“Come on.” Loren reached out and clapped her on the back. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
JASPER WAS SITTING on the front porch when Addie got home. She wondered what it was about her front porch that made people think they could just walk on up and sit down. He didn’t say anything when he saw her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Is everything okay with the puppies?”
“They’re fine.” Jasper stood up. “How was your date with Loren?”
Oh, shit. Addie scratched the back of her head. Her ponytail suddenly felt very tight. “It was dinner.”
“I heard you two looked pretty cozy up in that booth.”
“We were on opposite sides. And I left after about ten minutes. Whoever calls that cozy needs to consult a dictionary.”
“What were you doing there with him, Addie?”
“I was having dinner.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it!” Addie threw her hands up in the air. “That’s it. And I didn’t even get to eat because I left.”
“Why?”
“How much do you know about him?” Addie asked. “I mean, did you run a background check or something before you hired him?”
Jasper narrowed his eyes at her. “What do you mean?”
“He was asking a lot of questions about Delilah. Wanted to know if she had anything to do with Redd.”
“What did you tell him?”
“Nothing!” Addie exclaimed. “And it’s a good thing since everybody seems to have a Dixie cup attached to a piece of string in this damn town.”
“You can trust Loren,” Jasper said.
“I tell you what,” Addie began. “Why don’t you make me a list of the people I can talk to and the people I can’t talk to. Go ahead and make me a list of the people I can go to dinner with while you’re at it.”
“Don’t think I haven’t thought about it.”
“I can go to dinner with whoever I want!” Addie slammed her key into the lock. “I can talk to whoever I want! Last time I checked, you didn’t want to have that conversation with me.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Jasper said. “I want to have that conversation, but not right now.”
“Well, I want to have it right now.”
“I can’t.”
“Then what are you doing here, Jasper?”
“I don’t know.”
Addie opened her door and stepped inside. She turned around to face him one last time and said, “Maybe it’s about time you figured it out.”
CHAPTER 37
THE CHECK FROM JERRY SAT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE, AND ADDIE sat staring a
t it. She tipped back in her chair, thinking. It was more than enough to get her through for the next few months—enough for her to fix the house and enough for her to survive until she could start selling some of the pieces on which she was working. It was enough for her to start a life in the Delta, a life that wasn’t temporary.
Addie couldn’t bring herself to do anything with it other than stare. She stared and stared. As she stared, she heard a sharp crack beneath her. Before she could react, Addie was on the floor in a heap of wood.
It wasn’t the first time she’d broken a chair. Once before, several years ago, she and Jonah had been perusing a flea market just outside of the city. Addie found a vintage wingback chair and fell in love. Jonah had argued with her, said that the structure was weak. But all she’d seen was an opportunity to reupholster the chair in a funky fabric for one of their clients.
“Can’t you just see Carmelle in this chair?” Addie had asked. “It’s exactly what she’s been looking for.”
“No way,” Jonah had replied. “That chair is good for one thing and one thing only—kindling.”
That was when Addie had plopped herself down into the chair. She teetered for a moment on the cushion before falling completely through it to the asphalt below. It seemed like everyone at the flea market stopped to stare as Jonah and the chair’s owner struggled to pull her out from its clutches.
She remembered laughing about it during the ride home, but Jonah hadn’t thought it was quite so funny, especially after paying the two hundred fifty dollars to the owner. They argued for hours about it, a running theme in their relationship those final months.
She lay on the floor of her kitchen. She’d never told anyone about that day; there were so many days she never mentioned. It didn’t make sense to her how those memories could feel so far away and also as if they happened yesterday. How could she feel both free and tangled up? How could she, after those years with Jonah, move on? But Jonah would want that, wouldn’t he? From her? He’d wanted that from people and furniture. He’d reveled in the reaction of his clients when he showed them what he’d done with their once dirty and decrepit pieces of furniture. That revival of life had been Jonah’s greatest joy.
It was time for her to find her greatest joy.
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