Einstein the Class Hamster and the Very Real Game Show (Einstein the Class Hamster Series)
Page 4
Einstein excited about performing
again. But he had only a few minutes
before the director and sound
engineer returned.
If you turned on a faucet full blast and
let it run for 45 years, THAT’S how much
blood your heart pumps in a lifetime—
almost a million barrels. The average
person’s body has more than 60,000
miles of blood vessels, enough to wrap
around the earth—TWICE. Only one part
of the body receives no blood from the
heart: the corneas in your eyes.
In 1929, Dr. Werner Forssmann put
a catheter into a vein in his arm and
pushed it up into his heart, inventing
cardiac catheterization, a way to
diagnose and treat heart conditions that
we still use today. He won the Nobel
Prize in Medicine for his—dangerous!—
efforts.
YOU NEED
ANY HELP
WITH THAT?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
bUt wHeRe iS
tWiNkLeS?
Principal Decker heard someone
scream “SNAKE,” but all he saw were
people scurrying around the stage.
He searched the studio offices, the
cafeteria, the makeup department.
He searched the grocery next door
as well as the gift shop. Where could
Twinkles be?
The only places he hadn’t looked
were the offices at the far end of
the building. He ignored the flashing
red light and threw open the large
metal door.
Principal Decker looked around.
Was this a bank? Maybe one of the
tellers had seen Twinkles slither by.
The poor reptile was probably
disoriented and afraid.
The principal took his place in line
behind the woman with the service
dog and the young man with the large
bag. Principal Decker wanted to cut
to the front of the line but tried his
best to be patient.
When the young man got to the
teller, he opened his bag and started
shouting. “Everybody, down on the
floor! This is a robbery!”
Principal Decker helped the blind
woman next to him lower herself to
the floor. Her service dog wouldn’t
stop barking.
ARF! ARF!
“Somebody shut that dog up,” the
robber yelled. “Or he’s going to be
sorry!”
Both the woman and Principal
Decker tried to settle the dog down.
If Twinkles hadn’t escaped, Principal
Decker never would’ve ended up in
this mess. But what about Principal
Decker’s students? What if one of
them wandered away from the Kids
Know Stuff set and walked into
the middle of a robbery? Principal
Decker had to stop this NOW.
As the robber filled up his large bag
with cash, Principal Decker whispered
to the woman lying on the floor near
him. “On the count of three, I’m going
to rush this guy.”
The woman looked afraid. “I think
it’s safer to just follow instructions.”
“He’s not going to get away with
this,” Principal Decker said. “Here I
go! ONE, TWO, THREE!”
The principal transformed into
sumo-wrestler mode.
“What are you doing?” The robber
looked around, confused. “I told you
to stay down!”
Principal Decker grabbed the man
in a headlock and yelled for security.
The robber squirmed, not sure what
to do next.
The dog continued to bark.
“Cut!” A woman came forward
from the edge of the room. “Who are
you, and what are you doing? We’re
filming here!”
Principal Decker looked around at
the cameras and lights behind him. He
hadn’t realized he’d wandered onto
the set of a cop show. “The sign said
bank,” he said meekly.
“We’re PRETENDING it’s a bank!”
the director yelled. “These are
actors!” She called over the same two
guards who threw out Principal
Decker earlier.
The woman Principal Decker
thought was blind took off her
sunglasses. “You ruined that scene!”
she scolded.
Even the dog looked disappointed.
Helen Keller wasn’t born deaf and
blind; she lost her hearing and vision
after an illness when she was nineteen
months old. She was the first deaf and
blind person to graduate from college.
Helen spent her life lecturing, writing,
and advocating for people with
disabilities.
Like Helen Keller, Louis Braille was
not born blind; he accidentally poked
himself in the eye with one of his
father’s tools when he was three years
old. Soon, both eyes became infected,
and he was blind a few days later. He
became an inventor, designing the
Braille method of writing in 1824 when
he was just 15 years old. Braille is still
used today as the primary method of
reading by people who are blind.
THIS GUY
NEEDS SPELL-
CHECK.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
bAcK oN
tRaCk
Ned led Einstein through several
breathing exercises.
“I feel much better.” Einstein looked
out to the game show set. “But I’m
still not sure I can host.”
“You HAVE to host because I’m not
wearing this all day.”
Einstein turned around to discover
Marlon dressed as his game show
assistant. He felt himself choke up.
THIS IS
HUMILIATING.
“You’d do that for me?”
Marlon adjusted his wig. “If I’m
willing to overcome my fear of
wearing this silly outfit, then you
need to overcome your fear of public
speaking.”
Bill ran over with the director.
“I checked the sound, top to bottom.
The only thing left to check is the
electrical system.”
Einstein looked at Ned, Bill, and the
director. He looked at Marlon making
a huge sacrifice for him. His friends
were so supportive; now it was time
for him to do his part.
“We’ve got to finish the show,”
Einstein said. “I don’t want to
disappoint these kids.”
“You really are a good friend,” Ned
whispered to Marlon.
“Let’s get this over with,” Marlon
said. “These shoes are killing me.”
“Okay,” the director said. “Everybody,
take your places!”
Ned hurried behind the podium.
“I KNOW you’re up to
something,” Bonnie told Ned.
“I just can’t figure out what.”
Ned leaned in to Bonnie and pointed
to Einstein. “Prepare to be amazed.”
“LIGHTS...CAMERA...ACTION!”
the director called.
But all Bonnie and the others heard
was silence.
Benjamin Franklin proved that lightning
is a form of electrical energy; he did
NOT discover electricity. Similarly,
Thomas Edison did NOT invent the first
lightbulb. Heinrich Goebel did, 25
years earlier. Unfortunately for Goebel,
he never applied for a patent, which
would have shown that he was the
inventor.
But Edison’s lightbulb was an
improved version of Goebel’s—Edison’s
stayed lit longer than Goebel’s bulb.
Another big difference between Edison
and Goebel is that Edison DID apply
for a patent—1,093 of them.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
sIlEnCe
Ned thought for sure that Einstein
would be able to speak, especially
with Marlon standing beside him
giving him the evil eye. He raced to
the host’s podium to see what was
wrong with his friend.
“It’s not me this time!” Einstein said.
“It’s the mic. No one can hear me!”
One of the production crew hurried
over to Bill. “Looks like that missing
snake got caught in the electrical panel
and burned out the circuits. Tommy is
there now trying to sedate it.”
Principal Decker struggled to free
himself from the two security guards
escorting him out of the building.
“Don’t touch that snake!” he shouted.
“I’m coming, Twinkles!”
The director jumped up and down
like a kangaroo on fire.
“That snake has ruined this show
for the last time,” he screamed. “Get
him off my set!”
Principal Decker raced to get to
Twinkles. After a few moments, he
emerged from the backstage area
with Twinkles safely wrapped around
him. They were both followed by a
procession of serious-looking security
guards who escorted them out the
door.
“Can we FINALLY get back to
work?” the director asked.
This is it, Einstein thought. My
destiny!
“Thank goodness that snake’s
gone!” Just then Lance Weaver
strolled onto the set.
NO, NO, NO! Einstein thought.
Twinkles, come back! We need you!
The director turned to the sound
engineer. “Thanks for the animatronic
hamster, but we’re behind schedule.
Can you get Lance mic’d up?”
Bill removed the mic from Einstein.
“Sorry it didn’t work out, little guy. I
bet you would’ve made a good game
show host.”
“A GREAT game show host!”
Einstein said. “Just give me another
chance!”
“No can do,” Bill said. “I’m sorry.”
Einstein saw the makeup person
fussing over Lance to get him ready
for the cameras. When Einstein
turned to Ned, his best friend looked
almost as sad as he did.
Marlon yanked off the wig. “This is
all Twinkles’s fault.”
Einstein fumed. “Twinkles ruins
EVERYTHING.”
“Come on,” Marlon said. “Let’s go.”
Today was a disaster for me,
Einstein thought. But let’s hope my
classmates can still win this! He took
one last look around the stage. HIS
stage. Then he and Marlon hurried
to the sidelines to watch Boerring
Elementary compete in the final round.
Kangaroos are native to Australia
and are surprisingly good swimmers.
Kangaroos are marsupials, which means
they give birth to immature young that
finish growing in their mother’s pouch.
A baby kangaroo is called a joey. Joeys
stay in their mother’s pouch for seven
to ten months—and yes, they pee
and poop inside it! Kangaroo
mothers must really love their
joeys because they clean the
pouches out by licking them.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
tHiS
iS iT!
The audience was so happy to finally
have something to watch, they gave
Lance a standing ovation.
“I could’ve had a standing ovation
too,” Einstein complained.
“It’s better this way,” Marlon said.
“How is it BETTER?” Einstein asked.
“People all around the world could’ve
discovered my game-show-hosting
talents.”
SORRY, I’M
THE HOST
NOW.
SHOW OFF!
“Exactly,” Marlon answered. “There
would’ve been newspaper articles and
interviews and talk shows. You could
be president of the Game Show
Hosting Association.”
“President?” Einstein sighed. “And
why is that bad?”
“You’d be mobbed by fans. Everyone
would try to be your friend.”
“Again—WHY wouldn’t I want that?”
Marlon sat down next to Einstein.
(His feet were still killing him from
wearing those heels.) “This way you
have me, you have Ned—people who
really care about you.”
“Don’t forget Bill. He could hear me
too.” Maybe Marlon was right. Maybe
having a few good friends who
appreciated him was enough.
Einstein suddenly jumped up.
“We’re missing the final question!”
He concentrated on sending good
thoughts—and fun facts—to his
classmates.
“Okay, here we go.” Lance turned
to the team from Perfect Ed
Elementary. “How many bones are
there in the body?”
The teacher, Hannibal Tompkins,
hit his buzzer. “The human body? A
chimpanzee body? You need to be
more specific.”
This guy’s good, Einstein thought.
He cares about details.
“The human body,” Lance answered.
“How many bones are in the HUMAN
body?”
All the members of the Perfect Ed
Elementary team hit their buzzers at
the same time. “There are 206 bones
in the human body,” they answered in
unison.
“Are you sure those kids are
human?” Marlon asked. “They seem
like robots to me.”
“The answer’s correct. It’s 206,”
Einstein said. “Unless—”
Ned slapped his buzzer, which
caused Bonnie to jump. “Is that an
ADULT’S body or an INFANT’S body?”
Ned asked. “Because the answer is
different.”
Einstein ran in place, missing his
hamster wheel back in the classroom.
“You tell him, Ned!”
Lance fumbled with his index cards.
“Let’s check in with our
judges.�
��
“A game show host
should never be
PERPLEXED!”
Einstein complained.
“Come on, Lance!”
The director
threw off his
headset. “There ARE
no judges! We’ve NEVER
had judges! What are you talking
about?”
“Why is the director yelling again?”
Ms. Moreno yawned and looked
around the set. “I had a dream all the
class pets were here—”
“I think the director’s having a
nervous breakdown,” Marlon said.
The cameraman zoomed in as the
director stomped around the stage,
knocking over the host’s podium.
“The show is over! It’s a tie! Take your
prizes and go home!”
“Hey, that’s not fair!” Bonnie said.
“We had a real chance of winning!”
“What about our free lunch?” Ricky
shouted.
The curtain suddenly flew open,
revealing two sets of prizes. “An
encyclopedia!” the announcer boomed.
“And a Segway!”
The team from Perfect Ed
Elementary rushed to the front of
the stage.