by Naitik Jain
Just when I had decided to move out, the train started its motion, and I conveniently blamed my inaction on the timing of the train, and, consoling and quieting down my conscience, sat down on my seat. The train went ahead, and there was an hour’s journey left.
The emptiness of the train somewhat reflected the emptiness of my heart at that moment. “Why do I always cower out from my responsibilities?” I thought to myself, as I stared into the blankness of the train. I was being the typical person I always loathed- full on words, yet nowhere on the actions. I did take resolutions, make decisions, and come to work out things. Yet, when I had to act on them, there was something that was holding me back, and it was not just my fear. It was this inherent inertia that I had in myself, which society imparts into every human being as he grows up. We resist change, and believe that it will come by itself, or will be brought by someone great. We refuse to accept that we are capable of changing things by ourselves, and thus quit every single time. I, at that moment, knew that the girl needed someone to stand up for her, someone to voice her mind’s opinions, yet my belief that I was not that someone stopped me from acting out at that point of time. “Some NGO would find and rescue her from this maybe, and there is so much of media coverage in Kolkata. There’s no way any injustice would be done to her out there!” Even I knew that these arguments were not convincing enough. It had to be my job to do, yet I was backing out from it, being the typical Indian citizen, staring at the victim, cursing the government for inaction, calling the society a disgrace, yet, at the time of action, backing out. Not doing what had to be done, thinking that someone else would do it someday. The concept of waiting till the last moment has destroyed the work culture of our country. We never take any action till the harm knocks on our doorsteps. Today I ignored one girl being ill-treated, and tomorrow the bad treatment could be with my best friend. Yet, all I did was sit back down, and stare into the emptiness, trying to fill in the void of my inaction with false assurances.
I reached college an hour after midnight, dragged myself to the top floor, flung myself on the bed, and lay there, looking at the blackness, with sleep refusing to come to me. My brain was too exhausted to bring up any more logic to this discussion, and I knew that once I’d get busy with my work, I’d forget about her again, refusing to acknowledge the fact that unless I did something, she would spend the rest of her life being raped and tortured by her husband, both physically and mentally, yet there would be no one to come to her rescue, because just like me, the others would also wait for someone else to do the job. We all want the drain clean, but no one wants to get his hands dirty. That girl’s sad smile had the ability to make any person feel bad for her, and I did too, but there was more that I had to do, and I had to do it soon. It was only that I chose not to do it, to live the same old ordinary life, adjusting to the system, happy as long as I was not crushed by it. I was content with earning enough and leaving this country for good, but was I really born into this country to run away from it? This was a question I was yet to answer, and the day I could answer it truly, would be when I would finally accomplish my true purpose.
CHAPTER 4
“Please Father! Stop this!”
He didn’t even slow down. His eyes showed a determination that wouldn’t budge even at the plea of Gods. He kept dragging her ahead, deaf to the pleas of his own daughter, the woman his religion made him worship. There was no doubt about him being a religious man; he went to the temple every day, and prayed for an hour before he left for work. This was not about religion. What it was about, I didn’t know then. I could just see that girl being dragged in front of my eyes, pleading hopelessly to her father.
She turned around, and looked at me. Those eyes had a hope in them as they stared straight into my blank face. I stood there, staring at her, hoping that something would come along to save her. I was powerless, just a little kid, who had no ideas of the working of things. How could I have saved her then?
She cried. For the first time since this episode had started, I saw tears in her eyes. Those tears were not of the sadness she felt at being dragged by her father, which was strange, I thought then. Back then, I couldn’t figure out why she had cried after she looked at me doing nothing. It was later that I discovered the reason, as I relived those moments again.
“No. Stop. Don’t take her away!” was all I had to say. But I couldn’t say it. He kept pulling her along, kept dragging her down the corridor, and she kept looking at me. She wanted me, her best friend, to stand up for her.
And she was right in expecting so. I had assured her that I would be with her through every moment in her life, no matter what happened. There was no way that anyone would be able to do anything to her. Of course, I hadn’t thought it through then. I probably didn’t even mean it. But she took it quite literally. She was expecting me to stand up for her, to fight with her father, and save her life from wherever he was taking her. Both of us knew that if she went there, there was no coming back for her. But where was she going, and how did it all happen so suddenly? I needed answers to my questions. After all, I was just a little kid, unable to do anything by himself. I needed my parents’ permission to go out and play, so how could I even think of fighting against another man? He was older, and very religious, so he must have been doing the correct thing. Besides, I was no one to interfere in the matters of another family.
But he was wrong! He couldn’t have been more wrong, if there was any such thing. Every action of his showed that it was his fault, that she didn’t deserve any of this. She was my best friend! I had to do something; I had to stop this madness.
She kept staring at me, tears flowing through her eyes. They were tears of disappointment, seeing her best friend, who had promised to stay by her side at every moment in life, doing nothing for her when she needed him the most. All I did was wish I could’ve done something for her. And I promised to stay by her side.
She was dragged away from me, her eyes fixed at me, her silence speaking more than anything anyone had ever said, and her tears telling me how wrong I had been for her. Moments after she left, everything began to shake, as if the earth had been struck by an earthquake. However, it was just me who was struck, as I slowly whirled and fell down on the ground, unconscious.
It was late in the evening when I regained consciousness, and I woke up with a burning pain in my head.
“He’s running a temperature of a hundred and four degrees. This kid is on fire. We may need to admit him.” Said dad, as he took the thermometer out of my mouth and checked the temperature.
“No! He stays at home. Let’s wait for a few days before taking any such decision. He will get better under my care.”
A week had passed since that incident, and the fever had not come down. My mother and grandmother had tried everything, from cold compresses to prayers. Nothing seemed to work, and the medicines seemed like useless pills piling up in my stomach.
It is said that the ability of the human mind is seamless. Psychology can often do wonders in situations where medicine seems to do nothing. However, this time, it had the reverse effect. The mind remained where it was, in the eyes of that girl, staring at me, looking hopefully, desperately, and then bowing down in disappointment. She had given up on me then, and I could see it in her eyes. I was not a bad person, but I couldn’t just show it to her.
“Mom?”
My mother was sitting by my side, caressing my forehead. “Yes?” she asked in the sweetest voice she could make, without letting her worry come forward.
“Am I a bad boy?”
“No! Of course not! Why would you think that?”
“A week back, I saw her dad take her away. I didn’t do anything about it. I should have done something.”
She didn’t need to be told who I was talking about. Everyone in the community now knew what had happened. “Son, you’re not a bad person. It was just not a situation you could do anything in. The matter was not in your hands! It was not a decision for you to take. You
are a good boy son, and that is why this incident has affected you so much.”
“But she was my best friend!”
“There are times when you just have to let things be. When you cannot make a decision between what should be done and what shouldn’t. Even if you would’ve tried, he wouldn’t have budged. It was meant to happen.”
“I saw her eyes mom. She was crying. It hurt me so much!”
“I can understand son, that it feels bad to see all this at this time. But you have to learn to forget. It was not your fault. Remember, how you were asked for a pen yesterday but you couldn’t give it to your classmate because you had just one?”
“Yes.”
“This is just like that. You wanted to help him, but you couldn’t. You didn’t have the means to do so. Similarly, you couldn’t possibly have helped her in this situation, because it was not in your control. You did feel bad, but you will have to learn to forgive yourself. It is a lesson you must learn in life.”
“Okay. Thanks mom!”
“Take good care of your health son. Get well soon.”
In two days, I was back to my normal self. I was attending classes, talking to people, playing out in the open, having fun with my friends.
But that day left a memory in my mind that I couldn’t clear from my head. I had to take it out of me, and today was the chance.
I had gone back on my word once, and had ended up destroying a life because of it. There was no way that I could do the same thing again. Repeating one’s mistakes is foolishness. I had been given a chance to come clean, to clear my conscience of the guilt that had been on my heart for so many years. It was time to set things right. I had let one life be destroyed because of my folly, but I couldn’t let another life go down.
It was time to do the right thing. It was time to get rid of this nightmare. It was time to prove to myself that I am a man of my word, and I do keep my commitments. It was only right on my part to go fight for her rights, even if it meant fighting against impossible odds.
Two days later, with permission from the director of the institute to leave the college for a week, I was sitting in the same local train. However, this time, my destination was not home.
An hour into the journey, the train stopped at a nearly empty station. A few people got down, and a few people got up. The train picked up speed as it left, for the driver was running behind schedule. As the train raced along the tracks, my heart started to beat faster and faster. Only that I wasn’t in the train.
There I was, on the deserted station, standing at the only platform on Panskura Junction. All I had was a bag on my back, and my phone in my pocket. I plugged the earphones in, and played some calming music. I was about to embark on one of the most adventurous journeys of my life, and it all was to start here.
I walked towards the bench and sat down for five minutes, and then stood up, and stared at the town. The journey had begun.
CHAPTER 5
Panskura is a small town located about a hundred kilometers away from Kolkata. It has nothing much except for its fields, on which most people depend on for livelihood. Agriculture is the primary occupation of the people there, and the one college there is unknown to most people outside. Despite the presence of two schools, the level of education in the town is quite low, which in turn leads to a greater belief in superstitions.
As I entered the town, the first house that I saw on the right had a rather large gathering of people, and quite a few of them had morose faces. It wouldn’t have been wrong, therefore, to assume that someone had died. I walked into the house, hoping to find the girl’s family in that gathering. What I saw instead shocked me beyond imaginable limits.
It wasn’t someone’s death. Instead, it was one of the most joyous and happy moments of a person’s life. The family had just been blessed with a baby. However, they weren’t really happy about it. The reason was something that the world has been trying to fight for decades – it was a baby girl. The birth of a girl was considered as inauspicious in this part of the world. The family, instead of being congratulated, was being consoled. “It’s alright, I’m sure you’ll have a boy next time.” said one of the people around. “Maybe it’s the punishment she is receiving for the sins of her past life! This is her second girl child after all!” suggested another.
The birth of a girl child is met with a great amount of disappointment in India, especially in smaller towns and villages, where the level of education is much lower than in other parts. Indians have the belief that the son will stay with them forever, and will be their support in their older years, whereas the daughter would have to be married off, for which the father would have to pay a large amount of money as dowry. Daughters were often given no respect at all. They were made to work in kitchens and denied education, for it was believed that the sole purpose of their existence was to serve their husbands after they got married. They would wear the old and worn out clothes of their elder brothers, for spending money on them now would be a waste, since the father would have to spend a huge sum of money later on for their marriage. How the girl of the house behaved mattered a lot, since if she wasn’t ‘proper’, nobody would marry her.
The sons of the house, however, were free to do whatever they wanted to. Nobody would raise a finger at them, and nobody would care about how drunk he comes home at night. He was the ‘light of the home’, as the elderly would put it. The sons would be loved by everyone in the house, while the daughters would be made to sit in a corner and mind their own business.
I saw one person leaving the place, fuming. I immediately recognized him as the girl’s father. I started to follow him.
“These people are sad by the birth of a girl child! Idiots these people are. I have a daughter and a son, and I will always love my daughter more. Poor girl had just completed her fifteenth year, and they I had to let her go. I love my daughter so much.”
“That’s coming from the man who married her off to a random stranger to clear his debt!” I shouted form behind.
“He turned around and looked at me with an angry expression. He remembered my face. “I couldn’t help it! I didn’t have a choice in this! It was a trade-off between my family’s life and her marriage.”
“What had happened?”
The expression of anger slowly changed into that of hopelessness. The same sad expression that I had seen that day on the train was back. He looked at the ground, and said, “The elders had predicted that the harvest would be great this year, so I decided to plant better crops. I needed more money for that, so I borrowed some from him. He is a moneylender from Kolkata, and visits our town from time to time. He lent me money quite easily, and I used it to plant the crops, in the hope of a good harvest.
It seemed all good, till the rains got delayed. I don’t have the money to invest in those sophisticated irrigation systems, so I am heavily dependent on the rain to water my crops. The rains were disappointing, and the crops were destroyed. All my money was gone, and the money I had borrowed had to be returned. His goons would come every day, threatening to rape my wife and daughter, kill my son, and burn my house down, unless I paid him back.
Then, one day, he paid another visit to our town. He came to my house to threaten me again, when he saw my daughter. He said he was interested in her, and wanted to marry her. He said that he would lay off my debt if I agreed to it; otherwise he would destroy everything I loved. I had no choice in this matter! I had to agree to him, or he would’ve taken away every single thing I had.
So, we went to Kolkata, to marry my daughter to him. The marriage was a quiet one, and was done quickly at his house. She would visit us once every six months, for a day. She never complained about anything to us, so we thought that everything was fine there. He also helped me get back on my feet, and feed my family. We had nothing to complain about now.
But very recently I found out that it was not this way. He was not the man I had thought him to be. I used to think that he was strict about his money, but good other
wise. However, there is nothing good about this man. He makes my daughter work day and night, and treats her like a servant there. If she complains, he beats her, and denies her food. There is nothing left in my daughter’s life now. She has been reduced to a slave in that man’s house, and has no independence whatsoever. She was the brightest light of my family, the one person who inspired me to work hard. I had sent her to school, and she was the brightest student there. She would even do better than all the boys! I wouldn’t listen to the neighbours when they passed comments about her upbringing, for I knew that I was doing the right thing in helping her grow.
Everything is gone now. My daughter, who was everything to me, is now the slave of that evil man. I even tried offering him his money back, but he wouldn’t take it. He says that the debt has been settled now, and there is nothing I can do to change it. He is a very wealthy and powerful man, and I can’t even do a thing to him. He can crush me like an insect whenever he wants to. All I can do now is sit and weep for my daughter, waiting for her to come for one day every six months, and then waiting for another six months, just to get a glimpse of her!”
He began to cry, his tears dropping on the dusty road that he kept staring at. He was disappointed in himself, and I knew that he felt guilty enough about it already. I was wrong to assume that he was unfeeling. He did love his daughter, but there are situations where you just can’t help it, when the person you love the most is taken away from you, and all you can do is stare at them hopelessly. There was no question for him, there was no choice. He had to do what he was told to, or his entire family would have been wiped out.