by Annie Lyons
They all raised their glasses before taking a sip.
‘Well if you’ll excuse me, I need to check on lunch,’ said Stella carrying her glass into the kitchen.
Lizzie approached Joe and Sam. ‘Hello, you two.’
‘Happy birthday, Lizzie,’ smiled Joe, reaching forwards to kiss her on the cheek. ‘And congratulations too,’ he added, raising his glass.
She smiled and looked at Sam. His face was fixed and impossible to read. Joe glanced at him and then back at Lizzie. He was clearly embarrassed by Sam’s unresponsiveness. ‘Sam,’ he said gently. ‘Have you wished Lizzie a happy birthday yet?’
Sam rolled his eyes. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Can I have a crisp?’
Joe gave Lizzie a pained look. ‘All right. Why don’t you go and ask Granny for a drink?’
‘So that you can talk to her about me?’ he said darkly.
‘Well you’re hardly being pleasant company for Lizzie at this second. Frankly I’m embarrassed by your rudeness,’ said Joe. Sam regarded them both coldly before sloping back inside.
‘Wow,’ said Lizzie after he’d gone. ‘I thought he might have calmed down by now.’
Joe shook his head. ‘I’m so sorry Lizzie. I’ve tried talking to him but I just can’t seem to get through. It’s like he’s shut off somehow.’
Lizzie felt a pang of guilt and sadness. ‘It must be something I’ve done.’
‘What have you done?’ asked Alex joining them.
‘Sam’s still furious with me,’ she said.
‘Why? What’s the matter now?’ he asked sounding exasperated.
Joe shifted with discomfort at the implied criticism but kept quiet.
‘I don’t know but I’ve got to find out,’ said Lizzie with a determined frown.
Alex put an arm round her shoulder. ‘It’s probably just hormones. You know what kids are like. He’ll come round. Won’t he, Joe?’ Joe did his best to give a reassuring nod. ‘See? And no one knows him better than his dad do they? So don’t let it ruin your day, okay?’
She sighed. ‘Okay. I’m just going to see if Mum needs a hand.’
Stella did indeed need a hand or rather the look on her face suggested that she needed a big stick, with which to beat Evelyn over the head. She was staring down at the tray with murderous intent as Evelyn critiqued her gravy-making skills.
‘Oh is that how you make yours, Stella dear?’ she was asking as she watched Stella tip corn flour into the roasting tray. ‘I hope it doesn’t go lumpy.’
Stella looked as if she was contemplating tipping the lot over Evelyn’s head but instead she said, ‘It will be fine. Thank you.’
It was fine; in fact it was more than fine. It was delicious. When they had finished, Lizzie sat back in her chair and picked up her wine glass. ‘That was lovely. Thank you, Mum.’
‘I’m glad you liked it,’ smiled her mother.
‘Well I must say it is nice to have you back on the scene, Lizzie,’ said Evelyn. ‘But where did you disappear to for all those years?’
Lizzie glanced at her mother and then Alex. ‘Oh here and there,’ she said. ‘But you’re right, it’s good to be back,’ she added, placing a hand on Alex’s back.
‘We’re delighted that you and Alex are engaged,’ said Arthur. ‘And you must tell us when you want to book the church. Next summer is already looking pretty full.’
‘Thank you,’ said Lizzie, smiling at Alex. ‘I’m sure we’ll set a date soon.’
‘So Sam, how is school?’ asked Evelyn.
Sam frowned at her but after a nudge from his father said. ‘Fine.’
‘And you’re starting secondary school in September?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you excited?’ She was addressing him like a five-year-old so it was hardly surprising when Sam merely shrugged. Evelyn Chambers was not one to give up. ‘Do you like music?’
‘It’s okay.’
‘You play the piano don’t you? Just like Alex,’ she beamed, pleased to be joining up the dots.
Sam ignored the comment. ‘Can I play on your phone, Dad?’
‘Not at the table, Sammy,’ said Joe, a fixed grin masking his embarrassment.
‘Very rude,’ muttered Evelyn to her husband just loud enough for everyone to hear.
‘Sammy, why don’t you come and help me with dessert?’ said Stella, standing up and starting to gather the empty plates.
‘I’ll come too,’ said Lizzie, irritated by her future mother-in-law’s comment.
Stella smiled at her daughter. ‘I’ve made a pavlova. I hope that’s all right.’
‘Probably too sweet for me but thank you, Stella dear,’ said Evelyn.
Stella followed her daughter to the sink and put down the crockery with a heavy sigh. ‘That woman is awful!’
‘I know. She had no right to speak like that.’
Sam appeared in the doorway. He looked so small that Lizzie longed to rush forwards and wrap him in a tight hug. He ignored her and approached Stella, who held him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes.
‘Ignore her. She’s a silly old witch who doesn’t know a thing,’ she said, planting a kiss on his forehead. Sam gave a small smile. It was the first time Lizzie had seen him smile since she’d arrived. ‘Now could you carry in the bowls for me please, Sam? And if she says anything else, just ignore it okay?’ He nodded and went back into the dining room.
‘You’re brilliant with him, you know that?’ remarked Lizzie admiringly.
‘A better granny than a mother eh?’ observed Stella with a wry smile.
Lizzie held up her hands and laughed. ‘I never said that.’
Stella put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. ‘I’m just glad we’ve got another chance at this mother-daughter thing,’ she said.
‘Me too. I’m also glad that you’ll be on hand to fight my corner when Evelyn eventually becomes my mother-in-law!’
‘It will be my pleasure,’ grinned Stella. ‘Now, seeing as we’re on our own, I’ve got something for you. It’s sort of a birthday present. I hope you like it.’
Lizzie smiled as her mother handed her a small box. She opened it to find the locket inside. She looked at her mother in surprise. ‘Elizabeth’s locket? Are you sure?’
Stella nodded. ‘You should have it. As a reminder not to let your past hold you back. Elizabeth didn’t have a choice but you do, Lizzie.’
Lizzie looked at her mother and suddenly threw her arms around her neck. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I shall treasure it.’
Stella looked surprised but pleased. ‘Happy birthday,’ she said. ‘And now for another birthday surprise.’ She walked over to the fridge and retrieved the pavlova. ‘Ta da!’
‘That looks amazing, Mum,’ said Lizzie impressed. They went back into the dining room and Stella started to dish it up.
‘So you don’t want any then, Evelyn?’
Evelyn pursed her lips. ‘Well it’s loaded with cream and full of sugar but I suppose I should, as it’s a special occasion,’ she said with a saintly smile.
Stella shoved a large piece onto a plate and passed it to her before giving Lizzie a conspiratorial wink.
‘Where are the boys?’ asked Lizzie noticing that Sam, Joe and Alex were missing.
‘I think Joe’s upstairs and Sam and Alex are in the garden. He went to see if Sam wanted to play football,’ beamed Evelyn. ‘Such a dear boy.’
‘I’ll just go and tell them that the pudding’s arrived. Sam won’t want to miss that,’ said Lizzie, giving Evelyn and Arthur a friendly smile. She had a sudden sense of foreboding.
She made her way through the doors that led out of the dining room and squinted into the sun. She couldn’t see Alex and Sam at first. They certainly weren’t playing football. She cast round and realised that they were standing out of sight around the side of the house. She could hear Alex talking. She couldn’t hear what he was saying but she could tell by the tone that it wasn’t a friendly exchange. She paused out of sight and listened.
&
nbsp; ‘You wouldn’t understand. You’re just a kid,’ said Alex. Sam didn’t reply. ‘And I won’t have you ruining Lizzie’s birthday, do you understand?’
Lizzie couldn’t hold back any longer. ‘What’s going on?’ she said appearing in front of them.
Alex looked surprised when he saw Lizzie but he masked it by walking towards her with arms outstretched. ‘You surprised us! How long have you been standing there?’ he asked with a casual smile.
‘Not long. What were you talking about?’ she asked, shrugging him away.
Alex glanced at Sam. ‘Nothing important. We were just having a little chat weren’t we, Sam?’ he said innocently. Sam scowled but said nothing.
Lizzie could see that Alex had had too much to drink. She glanced at Sam, who was staring at the ground. She spoke to him gently. ‘There’s pudding if you want some,’ she said.
Sam glared up at her but said nothing. He pushed past them both and went inside.
Alex shook his head. ‘Someone should teach that boy some manners.’
‘Alex! He’s been through a terrible time.’
‘So have you but you don’t go round treating people like dirt.’
‘He’s just a child – a very sad and lonely child.’
‘He’s not your child, Lizzie.’
‘No, but he’s Bea’s and that means the world to me.’ Tears formed in Lizzie’s eyes now but she batted them away. ‘I would have thought you of all people would understand that.’
Alex’s face fell. ‘I’m sorry, Lizzie. I do understand. Forgive me,’ he said, reaching out to take her hands.
She looked into his eyes. She wanted to forgive him. She loved him so much but she hated the way he had spoken to Sam both today and at the theme park. There was something about it that made her uncomfortable. It nagged at her brain. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me?’ she asked.
His face changed and the old Alex was back; charming, handsome and always ready to say or do the right thing. ‘Darling, there’s nothing. I just love you and want you to be happy,’ he said, wrapping her in a warm embrace. ‘I am sorry if I spoke out of turn. I just wanted to make your birthday perfect.’
Lizzie wanted to believe him, she really did. Surely he wouldn’t stand there and lie to her. But there was something about his demeanour that troubled her. He was too ready, too eager to brush it under the carpet. Whether it was the fact that he’d had too much to drink or that Lizzie was suddenly seeing things in a different light, she was starting to wonder if Alex was maybe a little too perfect. There was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on and she wondered with a combination of anticipation and dread if Bea’s next letter might provide the answers she was looking for.
Chapter Twenty-Two
June
Susie was standing in the middle of Lizzie’s living room throwing cheesy puffs up into the air and doing her best to catch them in her mouth. Lizzie was sitting on the sofa, nursing a glass of wine and laughing at her friend’s varied attempts.
‘Who needs to go out on a Saturday night?’ cried Susie. ‘You get all the entertainment you need just watching me. Better than that Britain’s Got whatsits thing.’
‘That could be the name of your cheese-puff eating act,’ giggled Lizzie. ‘Britain’s Got Wotsits!’
Susie snorted with laughter and fell onto the sofa next to her friend. ‘So, my Lovely,’ she slurred, slapping Lizzie on the thigh. ‘How are things with Mr. Perfect?’
‘Why do you call him that?’ asked Lizzie, a tiny alarm bell sounding in her brain.
Susie shrugged. ‘Well he seems pretty perfect to me. He’s gorgeous looking, very charming, intelligent, I mean I can’t vouch for his abilities in the bedroom,’ she winked.
‘They’re excellent thank you,’ laughed Lizzie.
‘Good, good. But all in all, I can’t see anything wrong with him. Can you?’
Lizzie shook her head. ‘Not really.’
Susie stared at her. ‘You don’t sound very sure.’
Lizzie didn’t know how to express what she was thinking. On paper, Alex was perfect, but there was something; something about his attitude to Bea and to Sam that puzzled her. She stole a glance at Susie. ‘He gets a bit weird when I talk about Bea. And he’s very dismissive of Sam.’
‘Maybe he doesn’t like talking about death or kids,’ suggested Susie through a mouthful of crisps.
‘Maybe.’
‘You should just ask him,’ said Susie.
‘Will he think I’m being daft?’ asked Lizzie.
‘Why would he? You’re entitled to know. And you’ve got to be sure about the man you’re marrying, haven’t you?’
Lizzie nodded. ‘More wine?’
‘Don’t mind if I do.’
Lizzie fetched the bottle from the fridge. She spotted Bea’s letter on the side. The penultimate letter; Lizzie couldn’t believe she’d nearly reached the end of them. She wondered how she’d feel when all Bea’s wishes were realised. It had been like having her sister still with her over the past year, guiding Lizzie towards a happier future. She hoped that she would be able to hold onto that happiness once all the letters were read.
Lizzie topped up Susie’s glass. ‘Cheers, my dear. By the way, I haven’t told you about Ben have I?’
‘What about him?’
‘He and Fran have split up. Again.’
‘Oh blimey! What happened?’
Susie looked grave. ‘Ben found out that Fran didn’t have a miscarriage when they were married. She had an abortion.’
The words shot to Lizzie’s heart like an arrow. She put a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh no, that’s terrible. Poor Ben.’
‘I know. What a class A bitch eh?’
‘Is he okay?’ asked Lizzie. She felt a wave of fondness for Ben. He’d been there for her when she needed him and she wanted to offer the same support.
Susie nodded. ‘I was ready for a massive fall-out but weirdly enough, he seems okay. He’s less upset than he was last time.’
‘Maybe he’d come to expect the worst.’
‘Maybe. So are you going to talk to Alex?’
‘I am. You’re right. I just need to find out what’s bothering him so that we can sort it out.’
‘Attagirl. Right, I should go home and I need to call a cab because I am exceptionally drunk,’ said Susie staggering round Lizzie’s flat in search of her phone. After she’d left, Lizzie sent Ben a text.
‘Susie told me about you and Fran. Am very sorry. Always here for chat if you need one. Lx’
A minute later she received a reply. ‘Thanks. Might take you up on that. B’
She went to bed satisfied that she was being a good friend. Friends were worth hanging on to. You never knew when you might need them.
The next morning, Lizzie woke early and set about preparing breakfast. She even laid out a tray with everything she needed, including the letter and carried it into the lounge. Lizzie gazed at the unopened envelope and thought about what had happened since she’d opened the first letter all those months ago. She had gained so much; a family, a fiancé, but most of all a belief in her own strength. She was no longer carrying out the wishes because Bea needed her to. Lizzie was doing it because she wanted to. They were like an unfinished book and she had to know how the story ended.
She turned the letter over in her hands before slicing the envelope open with care. It was a sacred ritual now. She took a deep breath as she unfolded the note paper. The familiar writing looked oddly faltering as if Bea had been struggling to form the words as she wrote. Lizzie felt her throat tighten with sadness.
Dear Lizzie,
I met you for the last time yesterday and it really took it out of me so I have waited until today to write to you as I’ve got something important to say and want to get the words just right. I cried all the way home on the train after we said goodbye. I’m sorry I left you standing there. I can’t bear goodbyes at the best of times and as this one is pretty final, well I chickened out and
ran away.
I also felt sick from all the cake we’d eaten.
Lizzie brushed away a tear and smiled to herself. She remembered every detail of that day. They had met in town close to the mainline station so that Bea wouldn’t have far to walk.
They had met for lunch but Bea had said, ‘Let’s just eat puddings!’ Lizzie had looked surprised until Bea pointed out, ‘Well it’s not as if I need to watch my weight, cholesterol or cellulite any more!’
They ordered Banoffee Pie, Chocolate Fudge Cake, New York Cheesecake, a Strudel and a Knickerbocker Glory and set about demolishing them with childlike glee. At one stage Bea deliberately put her face close to the Knickerbocker Glory so that a large globule of cream sat on the end of her nose. Lizzie laughed.
‘What?’ said her sister, looking around feigning ignorance as she spooned ice cream into her mouth. ‘What is it? What? Why are you laughing?’ She carried on eating the dessert as if oblivious to the whipped cream decoration. Lizzie had laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks.
It wasn’t until they were due to say goodbye that Bea had turned to her with the words, ‘This is going to be the last time we see each other, Lizzie Lou. Things are only going to go downhill from now on and I don’t want you to come and visit me, do you understand? Remember me how I was today, not how I will be – all sick and shrivelled and waiting to die,’ she had said with some force.
Lizzie had tried to protest but Bea had just pulled her into a tight hug that left her sister breathless. ‘I have to get my train. I love you, sis,’ she had cried before rushing off towards the station concourse.
Lizzie had wanted to follow her but she knew Bea too well and had done exactly as she had asked. She didn’t know if she would do the same thing today. Probably not. Her eyes returned to the letter.
I wanted to tell you so many things yesterday, but I also wanted our last memory of each other to be a happy one. And it was, wasn’t it? We had fun, didn’t we? We’ve always had fun.
You’re probably wondering where this is going so I suppose I would call this the last confession of Bea Harris. This is where I tell you the truth about your perfect sister. I hope you’re ready for it.