by Karey White
“Are you going to the falls?” It was Barbara, and she didn’t look sleepy. How much of their conversation had she heard?
“Thought I’d take a quick look before I start fixing dinner.”
“I’d like to see it too. Do you mind if I come along?”
“Of course not.”
Barbara strapped on her sandals, and they left the campground.
Chapter Seven
“This is delicious,” Mike said as they ate dinner. Maggie had made stir-fried chicken and vegetables and served it over rice.
“Maggie’s the best camp cook you’ll ever meet,” Lucas said and took another bite.
“Until Lucas’s pizza feast Friday night,” Maggie said.
“How do you do pizza while you’re camping?” Siena asked.
“You’ll all be helping top them, so you’ll learn my secrets soon enough,” Lucas said.
“How often do you bring tours down here?” Emma asked.
“I don’t work during December and January,” Maggie said. “But the rest of the year, I come down here or on a Grand Canyon tour almost every week. Lucas only does about one tour a month.”
“I guess we came on the right tour then,” Jane said.
“Can we request you if we do this again?” Montana asked Lucas.
“Absolutely,” Lucas said.
Maggie was scooping left over rice into a storage bag when Lucas put his hand on her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. “A kiss for the cook,” he said, then started gathering dirty pans to wash.
“Can I cook tomorrow?” Montana asked.
“You girls,” Lucas said, smiling. “I’m not sure what to do with you.”
“I’m sure we can think of something,” Jane said.
“All right, you two. Leave him alone,” Barbara said.
“And as far as cooking goes, let’s leave it to the experts,” Dennis said. “We don’t want to be starving to death when we have to climb out of this canyon.”
Jane and Montana giggled, acting more like high-school girls than college students.
Maggie smiled and shook her head. Lucas had always had an easy and affectionate way about him. It was one of the many things to like about him. But tonight, knowing she might soon have to leave, she felt her smile falter.
Lucas pulled out a few card games and handed them to Montana. “Here. This should give you something to do for a while.”
“You should play with us.” Jane’s pouty voice set Maggie’s nerves on edge.
“Maybe another time. I’m on the job, remember?”
Jane and Montana looked disappointed, but soon they’d gathered some of the others for an unusual version of UNO.
Lucas and Maggie worked quietly, cleaning up the remains of dinner. “That was good, Maggie. You’ve become a gourmet cook out here.”
“I got tired of grilled sandwiches and hot dogs and hamburgers. I know the campers probably didn’t care, since they’re only out here once, but I was sick of the same thing over and over.”
“What do we have to look forward to tomorrow?”
“Salmon chowder and biscuits. And rice pudding for dessert.” She held up the bag of leftover rice before she put it in the cooler.
“Maggie,” Barbara said. “Would you mind showing me the part of the creek you told me about? You know, where I can clean up in the morning?”
“You go ahead and show her,” Lucas said. “I’ll finish up here.”
Barbara’s toes were still red, but the swelling had gone down some. The busiest time for tourists had passed, so campers were more scattered. Evening sun slanted through the trees, making long, thin shadows. They’d walked for several minutes before Maggie veered off the larger path and onto a smaller one that led back to the water.
“This is my favorite spot. It’s a little deeper, and if you stay out here by the edge, it moves so slow you hardly notice it.”
“Ah, I can see why you like it. Yes. This is where you’ll find me in the morning.”
“Anything else you want to see before we head back?” Maggie asked.
“Let’s just sit here for a few minutes and enjoy the view,” Barbara said.
They sat quietly, watching a dog run up and down the bank on the other side of the stream.
“Sorry about Jane and Montana,” Barbara said after a few minutes.
Maggie was startled. Had her annoyance been obvious? “They’re female. You can’t expect them not to notice Lucas.”
“But I’m sure it’s bothersome, especially since you like him.”
Maggie stared at Barbara, who laughed.
“Don’t try to deny it. I can tell.” She watched Maggie’s face. “Well? How long have you liked him?” Barbara was a nosy woman. And far too perceptive. If she weren’t so likeable, Maggie would have been tempted to tell her to mind her own business.
“We’ve been friends since eighth grade.”
“When did your feelings change?”
Maggie laughed, but her face was burning.
“Now don’t worry. I consider my duties as a matchmaker to be like those of a doctor or lawyer— strictly confidential. I won’t announce it to anyone. But I know things. Maybe that’s why I’m good matchmaking. I can tell you have feelings for him.”
Maggie looked away.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. He looks like a good catch to me.”
Suddenly all of the feelings Maggie had kept to herself for so long came spilling out. The stream and the trees blurred together in front of her tears. She wiped her eyes and started talking.
“We’ve been best friends forever, but our senior year, I started to feel differently. At first it was just a crush, but then the summer before our senior year, his mom was diagnosed with cancer— she’s cancer free now— but she was so sick. She had surgery and then chemo, and Lucas took such good care of her. Sometimes she said the only thing that sounded good were oatmeal cookies, so he asked me to teach him how to make them so he could make them for her.
“He’s good and kind and funny. I love that he reads and that his favorite book is East of Eden.”
“Did his parents stay in the states?” Barbara asked.
“They live in Phoenix. And that’s another thing. He loves it here. He even cheers for the United States in the Olympics.” Maggie knew she was throwing out random, crazy facts about Lucas, but she couldn’t help it. She’d never told Dan how she felt, and, of course, she’d never confessed her feelings to Lucas. He and Dan were her best friends. Who else would she have told?
Maggie had kept her feelings dammed up for so long that once the dam had sprung a leak, it was only a matter of moments before the whole reservoir flooded poor Barbara.
But Barbara didn’t seem to mind. When Maggie had gone on for several minutes, she fell quiet, mortified at her deluge. If she hadn’t had a job to do, she’d have taken her backpack and some food and hidden in the little cave she’d found on the other side of Mooney Falls, but she couldn’t abandon her job.
Barbara smiled. “You know, Maggie, the things you like about him tell me as much about you as they do about him. I’ll bet your mother is so proud of you.”
Maggie wiped her eyes again.
“What do you think you should do?” Barbara asked.
“I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time to move away. It’s so hard to see him and not let him know how I feel.”
“Hmm. You know, I think that’s probably a good idea. You don’t want to spend your life stuck in a rut because you can’t see beyond Lucas to someone else. You’ll end up a lonely old maid.”
Hearing someone else say what she’d been thinking was both jarring and comforting.
“I could move to Gilbert or Mesa. It wouldn’t be hard to find a teaching position.”
“You could always come to Fernway if you want to put some distance between you two. I know the principal there, and I could keep my eyes out for a good match.”
Maggie picked up a rock and rolled it over a
nd over in her hand before she threw it in the creek. “I don’t think I could ever leave Arizona.”
“I thought you might feel that way. I think you should do one thing, though, before you move away.” Maggie looked at Barbara, a question on her face. “You have to let him know how you feel.”
Maggie let out a gust of air and shook her head. “I can’t. What if I ruin everything?”
“Do you really like him?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure it’s not a little passing crush?”
“More than seven years doesn’t feel little, and it sure hasn’t passed.”
“So how much do you like him?”
“I love him.”
“Then don’t be a chicken. You can’t run off scared and start another chapter somewhere else until you close the chapter here. Be brave and go after what you want. If it doesn’t work out, you can leave knowing you tried. You can be proud of yourself. If you go without him knowing, you’ll always wonder what might have been. Trust me, you’ll have a boatload of regrets, and your boat might just sink.”
Maggie stared at the water for a long time; Barbara let her think. Finally, she put her hand on Maggie’s back. “Maybe he’ll love you back.”
Maggie shook her head. “I’m afraid he won’t,” she said softly.
“Sometimes a man’s like an egg. Inside are feelings he may not even know he has. But guys like their shell. It may keep them from knowing their feelings, but it also keeps them from being too emotional or too mushy. The shell protects those feelings and lets them look tough and in control. It also keeps them safe from all those scary things on the outside.”
“Am I a scary thing?” Maggie laughed, and Barbara shook her head.
“You’re not scary. Feelings are scary. Sometimes they’re terrifying. But sometimes all it takes is cracking through that shell to get to the feelings inside. Be brave. Crack the shell. You never know what you’ll find.”
“I don’t know if I can do it. If he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll ruin everything. He might decide he can’t even be friends with me anymore.”
“Or you both might discover he loves you. If you’re not brave, you’ll never know. And really, Maggie, how happy are you going to be working together and being friends the rest of your life when you want so much more than that? Or leaving without ever knowing what would have happened if you’d just had more courage? You think this is hard? This is only hard for a short time. Regrets are hard forever.”
Maggie stewed in her thoughts. The sun had slipped behind the hill, and the world had become a dusty lavender. “I’m sure you’re right,” she finally said. “But I don’t know how to crack the shell.”
“There’s no one way. Look for a chance. Be brave. Surprise him. And don’t wait. The longer you wait, the harder it gets.”
Shadows were settling in. They hadn’t brought a flashlight or a lantern, and Maggie knew if they didn’t get back soon, they’d be stuck out in the dark. It was time to be a guide instead of a scared girl. “We’d better get back.”
They walked back to camp in silence. Up ahead they made out the lanterns Lucas had lit. Just before they reached the circle of light, Barbara grabbed Maggie’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Be brave, dear. I don’t think you have much to be afraid of. And I’m a very perceptive woman.”
Maggie couldn’t argue with that.
Chapter Eight
Dogs barked somewhere in the distance, and a few campers laughed quietly as they walked by. Maggie had been in her tent for more than an hour, but no matter how hard she chased sleep, it kept darting from her reach. She’d be exhausted tomorrow if she didn’t get some rest.
Maggie tried to rationalize away what Barbara had said, but she was right. It was time to face her fears and let Lucas know how she felt, regardless of the outcome. Maggie tried to picture a life in Mesa teaching school. She could do it if she had to, but what about Lucas and Dan? She’d miss them. And what if she didn’t have to?
For a few minutes, she indulged in the daydreams she’d always cut short. Instead of imagining Lucas saying he loved her, she imagined a life with him. And that life looked good. Maggie was a brave woman. She guided people into canyons and knew how to rough it. She’d camped by herself on more than one occasion. The howling of coyotes didn’t bother her, and she didn’t panic when things on the trail didn’t go according to plan. It was time to gather her courage and put her feelings out there for Lucas. Once she did, she’d be able to move forward with more confidence.
After another sleepless half hour had passed, Maggie quietly unzipped her tent and stepped out, into the chilly night air. This was why she loved November tours. The night air was cool and bracing, and the days were warm enough to enjoy the water, but never reached the scorching temperatures of summer. She pulled her hoodie closer around her. As quietly as she could, she filled a pan with water and lit a burner on the camp stove.
“Can’t sleep?” Lucas whispered, but he might as well have shouted. Maggie nearly dropped the pan.
“What are you trying to do? Give me heart failure?” Maggie whispered back.
“Sorry. I heard someone out here and decided I’d better check it out.”
“I was trying to be quiet. I didn’t want to wake anyone.”
“You didn’t wake me. I’ve been reading.”
“What are you reading?”
“Great Expectations. That’s one of the books I was supposed to read in high school but didn’t. I’m going back now and making an honest man of myself.”
Maggie laughed softly. “I didn’t really like that book. I thought it dragged on too long with people afraid to say what they mean.” She smiled at the irony of her words. “Want some hot cocoa?”
“Sure.” Lucas pulled out two cups and two envelopes of cocoa mix from the food boxes. When the water was hot, Maggie poured it over the powdered mix. Lucas took his to one of the camp chairs a few feet farther from the tents, and Maggie followed him. “No need to wake up anyone else, or we’ll have to make cocoa for everyone.”
They sipped their cocoa quietly. Lucas seemed to be enjoying the stars overhead.
Maggie was trying to figure out how to tell him she loved him.
“They’re amazing out here, aren’t they?” he said.
Maggie looked up. The cloudless sky was filled with brilliant, twinkling lights. “Yeah. They don’t look like this in town. They’re even better from Dan’s ledge.”
It wasn’t really Dan’s, but years earlier, he’d found the spot and named it Dan’s Ledge, a rock that jutted out about twelve feet above the trail. Just past the outcropping was a steep but climbable path that cut back to the ledge. From the wide slab of rock, there was an unobstructed view of the sky.
“I haven’t been there for years,” Lucas said. “I’m not even sure I’d remember how to find it.”
“I can. I go there a couple of times every summer.”
“Let’s go tomorrow night,” Lucas said. “When everyone goes to bed.”
Maggie felt the kind of relief known to every procrastinator when they realize that they can put off a hard thing until sometime later. Tomorrow night. That’s when she’d tell him. Out on the ledge, under the stars, just the two of them. It would be perfect.
“I’ll bring a blanket,” Lucas said.
“And I’ll make a thermos of cocoa.”
“It’s a date.”
Chapter Nine
The great thing about camping is that you can really see what someone looks like at their worst. Something about the night air and a sleeping bag gives even the loveliest of people circles under their eyes and wild hair. When Jane and Montana stepped out of their tents the next morning, Maggie bit the sides of her mouth to hide her amusement. If they could see themselves, they’d be horrified.
“Good morning, ladies,” Lucas said.
“Is it?” Jane said, stretching her clasped hands high above her head, showing several inches of stomach.
&n
bsp; “She needs coffee,” Montana said. “And so do I.”
Lucas poured two cups of coffee and handed them to the women. “I hope you’re hungry. I’m cooking up some sausage, and Maggie’s making French toast.”
“I never eat breakfast,” Montana said.
“I’d be willing to wager you change your mind when you smell that French toast cooking. She uses cinnamon bread.”
“I’ll eat hers if she doesn’t want it,” Dennis said, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Lucas was right. Everyone ate breakfast, and Montana even slipped an extra sausage link onto her plate when she thought no one was looking.
“So tell us about today,” Mike said. “I’ve heard Mooney Falls is spectacular but a tough hike.”
“That depends,” Maggie said, whipping the eggs with a fork. “It’s an easy hike if you just want to go see the falls from the top, but hiking down to the water is pretty aggressive. We’ll be climbing through a cave, then down the side of the mountain, and it’s really steep. Some stairs are carved out and there are some chains to help you get down, but those are still pretty primitive, and it’s hard work. At the bottom, there’s a ladder that gets you down the last twelve or fifteen feet but it’s missing a few rungs.”
“It requires a lot of focus and no horseplay,” Lucas said. “The falls are called Mooney Falls after a miner named Mooney fell to his death. We don’t want any casualties today, so let’s be very careful getting down.”
“It’s probably scarier going down, but it’s harder coming back up,” Maggie said.
“Is it even worth it?” Siena asked.
“If you’re asking me, I’d say yes,” Maggie said. “The water under the falls at Mooney is even better than the water under Havasupai. It’s a gorgeous pool of water, and the setting is spectacular. But it really depends on you. If you’re not comfortable with the hike down, you can come along to see the falls from the top, then come back to camp. You could also spend the rest of the day at Havasupai. Whatever you choose.”
“I’m staying here,” Barbara said. “So anyone who wants to keep me company is welcome.” When no one responded, she added, “But don’t worry about me. I plan to soak my feet and spend the day reading and napping in that hammock right there.” She pointed at the hammock closest to the stream.