by Nina Croft
The elevator doors opened, and he ushered her in. She stared at her feet while they rose then at his—he’d slipped on some trainers. Finally, she lifted her head and latched onto his face, trying to avoid the bits in between because they were too disturbing.
“You obviously work out a lot,” she said.
“I do?” His lips twitched.
Yeah, she was so funny. She waved a hand in the general direction of his body. “Well, you have a lot of muscles.” She sneaked another peek, and this time her gaze snagged once again on the bulge in his pants, and she looked away quickly, only to get hooked on his bare chest again. “Put the goddamn T-shirt on,” she muttered. “We need to talk.”
He chuckled. “Am I distracting you?”
“Hell, yes. I’m not used to half naked men.”
He frowned at that comment, but the doors opened at that moment, and he did actually pull the T-shirt on, giving her a quick flash of his armpits and more silky gold hair.
She sighed as she followed him. You reap what you sow. She was reaping the effects of five years of fantasies, and having to accept that he was better in the flesh than anything her imagination had ever conjured up.
They passed a few people, who all studied her curiously, then came to a desk in front of a set of mahogany doors. Sally sat behind the desk and smiled at Lexi, then Josh. “Hey, boss.”
Josh ignored her and pushed open the doors into a huge corner office. There was a desk and chair, and a black leather sofa along one wall. “Come in,” he said.
She followed him inside, and as the door closed she had a last glimpse of Sally craning her neck to see them, and then they were alone. Josh crossed to a coffeemaker on the side and poured two cups, brought them across, and put them on the table in front of the sofa.
“Sit,” he said. He really was good at giving orders, presumably from his time as a sergeant in the army. But she wasn’t one of his soldiers, and it made her want to do the opposite. She reminded herself that she needed something from him, so she perched obediently on the edge of the seat. He sat beside her but about a foot away, and she swiveled a little so she could watch his face.
“So talk,” he said.
She thought for a moment, but her mind was still on his chest, and she couldn’t seem to coordinate her thoughts. Instead she looked around the office. It was huge and impressive. “You seem like you’re doing well,” she said, if only to put off the main topic of conversation until she’d gotten her brain functioning again.
“Not too bad. For someone a little slow.”
She shrugged. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry. Luckily, I’m not the sensitive type.” He studied her for a moment. “Tell me,” he said. “Last night, did you set out to seduce me so we couldn’t get an annulment?”
She could feel the heat creep up over her face. “No… Not really.” She pressed a palm to her burning cheek. “Not at all, actually.”
“Which is it?”
She tugged on her ponytail. “It did occur to me while we were in the car after dinner. But then I decided that…” Crap, how did she put this?
“That…?”
“That I’d just make a complete idiot of myself if I tried. I haven’t got the faintest idea of how to seduce anyone, and I thought you’d end up laughing at me.”
“Why the hell would I laugh at you? Did you see me laughing?”
“No, but I don’t know you, so…”
“Wait a minute. Why don’t you have any idea how to seduce anyone?”
“Because I’ve never done it before.”
“Seduced anyone?”
She gave an exasperated sigh. “Slept with anyone.”
He went still, his brows drawing together. “Say that again.”
She pursed her lips. “I’ve never slept with anyone. And it’s no big deal.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “You reckon? So let me get this straight. You’re a virgin?”
She rolled her eyes. “Er…no. Not anymore.”
“You didn’t feel like a virgin.” He looked at her accusingly.
She shrugged and squirmed on the seat. “It’s not like I’ve never, you know… I’ve got a vibrator.”
“Fuck.” He closed his eyes for a second. “I wish you hadn’t told me that.”
“So, to answer your original question, no, I did not seduce you on purpose.” She picked up her cup and sipped her coffee.
“Why?”
She didn’t think he was asking why she hadn’t seduced him. “Why what?”
“Why were you a virgin?”
“It just never happened. But mainly because a lot of people know I’m married. It wouldn’t have felt right.”
“Did I hurt you?”
She frowned. “Of course not.”
“Jesus. A fucking virgin.”
Time to get off the subject. “Anyway, I was thinking after you left this morning, that we’re both reasonable people. As such, we should sit down and discuss why you need to be free so quickly. Then maybe we can come up with a plan that suits us both.”
…
Sounded good.
Problem was, right now he wasn’t feeling too reasonable. A goddamn virgin. He tried to remember back, but he hadn’t exactly been thinking straight at the time. She’d been tight…all tight and hot and wet wrapped around his dick… And maybe he’d better not go there because he was already semi-hard from the vibrator comment. Remembering what it had felt like being buried deep inside her was not going to help matters. But Christ, he’d been her first. That should mean nothing but it did. He just wasn’t sure what.
She was watching him expectantly. What had she asked?
“Sorry?” he said.
A flash of annoyance crossed her face. “Why do you need to end the marriage now? Is there someone else? Last night, you said you didn’t want to marry another woman.”
“Hell, no.” As soon as he spoke, he wished he’d not been quite so emphatic. Maybe he should have told her there was someone else. He planned on there being someone else as soon as he was free, but certainly not for marriage, and he had no one particular in mind yet. He didn’t believe in lying, though.
“So why? We’ve been…married for nearly five years. Why not wait another six months?”
Shit. He stood up, strode to the window, stared out. This was going to sound so fucking lame. Finally he turned back to her. “I want sex.”
“Now?” The word came out as a squeak. Her eyes were wide, and he realized what she thought.
“Shit. No. Not now, and not with you.”
Her face fell. He guessed that had been a little harsh. But really, it was a bad idea. It had been a bad idea last night and was an even worse one this morning. No way did he want her to get the impression that this marriage was in any way real. He did not want to go there. Had she been a different sort of woman, he might have considered it, and gotten this inconvenient attraction out of his system. They could spend the next six months having fun, screwing each other’s brains out, and at the end of that time, they could get a nice, easy divorce and say good-bye.
But she wasn’t a different sort of woman. She was the sort of woman who let homeless people share her house, who rescued chickens and three legged dogs. She was nice and probably wanted children of her own and who knew what else. And he didn’t do any of that stuff.
She looked hurt. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but as she’d said, they needed to get things clear between them.
“Sex between us would complicate matters.”
“You should have thought of that last night.” She sniffed. “And for your information, if you had wanted sex now, I would have said no.” She sounded almost like her grandmother, haughty and upper class, and he had a really stupid urge to prove her wrong. He’d seen the way she looked at him earlier. She was aware of him as a man, and she wanted him. He could change her mind within minutes. He could have her flat on her back on that sofa. Or bent over his desk, her ass in the air.
He hadn’t seen her ass yet. This time he’d strip her totally. He wanted to see her breasts as well. His dick twitched at the thought.
Down boy.
Not a good idea on so many levels.
“Good,” he said. “Then we’re on the same wavelength.” Of course they were. Only his dick was not quite in agreement.
Her brows drew together, her nose wrinkling. She was cute. “So you want sex. I’m not stopping you. I presume being married hasn’t stopped you over the last few years. What’s changed?”
He was silent for a minute, suddenly almost embarrassed that he’d been celibate. And he hadn’t even had a vibrator or whatever the male equivalent was. It was nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of men were celibate for lots of reasons. But in some ways, it made the marriage seem more real.
Finally, he spoke, “I don’t cheat.”
Her frown deepened. “It’s not cheating if we’re not really married.”
“I know,” he said. “But all the same, that doesn’t work for me. Call me old fashioned, but even if it’s not technically cheating, it’d still feel like it to me.”
She sucked on her lower lip as she thought through his statement. “So let me get this straight. You haven’t had sex since we got married?”
He gave a curt nod.
“Not at all?”
“Except for last night.”
A faint wash of color tinted her face. “Five years?”
“Like you said, it’s no big deal. I was busy building up the business. There was no time for anything else.” In some ways, he hadn’t wanted a woman, had been in a bad place back then. He’d left the army, which had been his home for many years, and then he’d in effect lost Evie for the second time. He’d just wanted to be alone. He’d used the whole marriage thing as an excuse if anyone came on too strong. And really as an excuse to himself. Though he was telling the truth; he didn’t cheat—even if it was a technicality. His mother had never been faithful to any man, and no way was he going to be like his mother.
Lexi was still staring at him, disbelief clear in her eyes. It wasn’t that big a deal. Or maybe it was. “Well, neither have you.”
“But I didn’t know what I was missing.”
And now she did. Would she miss it now? “And you had your vibrator.” Why the hell had he brought that up?
She ignored the comment. “Well, if you’ve managed for five years, surely you can manage for another six months.”
He really didn’t think that was an option. He’d awoken the ravenous beast and there was no putting it back to sleep. All he could think about was sex. Right now, sex with Lexi, but that would change once he got away from her and severed the ties between them. It was only proximity that had him thinking about her naked. That’d had her playing the starring role in his fantasy while he’d jerked off in the shower that morning. She’d been giving him a blow job, her sweet rosebud mouth wrapped around him, her hands—
“Josh?”
He came out of his fantasy to find her watching him a perplexed expression on her face.
“I made a vow,” he said. God, that sounded pompous.
She shook her head, rubbing at the spot between her brows. “You made a vow to have sex?”
“Yeah.” Now he sounded belligerent. He took a deep breath, then came and sat down beside her, noticing the way she inched away from him as if he were some dangerous madman. He needed to make this sound plausible. “I told you. A few weeks ago, I was on this ship that went down. It was touch and go for a while whether I’d make it. I broke my leg, and we were cut off by fire. Anyway, I did make it and…well, that sort of thing has a way of changing your life.”
“And so you decided to have sex. Very deep and meaningful.”
He shrugged. “In a way.” God, how did he explain this when he didn’t really understand it himself? But she deserved an explanation. “I’ve been a little restless lately. The business is doing great, there’s no reason for me to work all hours, but when I stopped working all the time, I started thinking again. And I realized I’d put my life on hold.”
“Because of the marriage to me?”
It would be easy to give that as the reason, but it wasn’t true. “No. Marrying you was a symptom. Not the reason.”
“A symptom of what?”
“It doesn’t matter. Anyway, floating in that lifeboat afterward, realizing how close I’d come to dying, I decided to change that. A couple of other guys were with me, and we all made these vows to go back and change something in our lives. And I vowed to have sex.”
“Because to have sex you first needed to sort out the other stuff that was holding you back? Mainly your marriage to me.”
She was bright. “Yeah. And once I’d decided, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I need that annulment.” Christ he sounded like a selfish bastard.
“And…last night didn’t help?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and sat back. “Made it worse. I haven’t felt this horny since… Hell, I’ve never felt this horny.”
“Oh.” She thought for a moment, licked her lips, cast a quick glance at his face and then away. “We could…”
He knew exactly what she was suggesting, and the blood shot to his groin. He ignored the sensation. “No, we couldn’t. I want no-strings-sex, not married sex.”
“I don’t have any strings.”
He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.
“Hmm. How about I give you some sort of dispensation. Say it’s all right, that you can go out and have your no-strings-sex, and I don’t mind.”
“You don’t?”
She tossed him a haughty look. “Why would I?”
Because you want me, baby. But he kept those words to himself. They wouldn’t help. “No can do. I’d still feel like I’m cheating.” He’d thought about it, had been eyeing up women all morning. Sally was beautiful, and in the past, she’d made it more than clear that she’d be there if he needed anything—anything at all. But he couldn’t envisage it happening.
“Jesus, you’re difficult.” Lexi scowled at him.
“We men can be single-minded.”
“Maybe we can get you some bromide or something to add to your coffee.”
He chuckled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed. Logan was right—he was a miserable bastard.
Her eyes widened at the sound, and she stared at him. Without thought, he found himself inching closer along the sofa.
Whoa. Don’t go there. Not happening, remember.
But somehow he couldn’t seem to stop. She still clutched her cup in her small hand, and he pried it free and placed it on the coffee table. He wasn’t going to do anything. Really, he wasn’t. Just maybe see if her skin was as soft as it looked. He reached out and trailed a finger down the curve of her cheek. Softer. And warm. He traced over her full lower lip, and her breath feathered his fingertip, sending shivers down his arm.
He was leaning in, intent on her parted lips, when her cell phone rang. She jumped, and he jerked back as she cleared her throat and rummaged in her bag. She pulled out the phone, got to her feet, and talked for a moment, though the words made no sense to him.
He was in big trouble.
He needed to stay far away from Lexi until he had sorted this out. He was obviously not to be trusted around her. So the answer was distance.
She popped the phone back in her bag and turned to him. “That was Sadie—my secretary. Apparently, my grandmother and Daniel are on the way. I have to go.”
“We still haven’t worked out what we’re going to do.”
“I’ll call later. If I deal with this, maybe they’ll disappear back to New York.”
“You want me to come with you?” The words were out before he could think better of them. Where had that idea come from? She was not his responsibility. It was nothing to do with him that the brightness had faded from her eyes as she spoke on the phone. But he realized he didn’t want her facing that couple alone. She shouldn’t have to.
>
She frowned. “Why?”
“Moral support.”
“I don’t need moral support. I’ve managed so far.”
Why was he pushing this? “We can have lunch afterward and discuss our divorce in a nice, civilized manner.” Except she didn’t make him feel civilized.
She studied him for a moment longer, head cocked to one side. “Civilized?” She gave a quick nod. “Okay.” And with that she was gone.
Chapter Seven
Half an hour later, Lexi let herself into her office and collapsed onto the chair behind her still very tidy desk. The orderliness made her twitch, and she pulled some stuff out of the drawer and scattered it over the surface. From the midst of the rubble, the photo of Josh stared back at her.
He hadn’t had sex in over five years. She still couldn’t get over that little piece of information.
Presumably that was the only reason he’d done it last night. He’d been desperate. Probably under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even look at a woman like her.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
He didn’t cheat.
But he didn’t want sex with her. Because he wanted no-strings-sex. And he reckoned she came with strings.
Ha! How wrong could he be?
Bastard.
In that case, he was going to have to keep it in his pants for the next six months. After they got rid of her grandmother, she would explain what was at stake. She didn’t know him well, but she knew him enough—he wasn’t a bad person. She didn’t believe he would jeopardize all she had worked for, just for a no-strings-shag.
At least, she hoped he wouldn’t.
He’d dropped her off in front of the office and then gone to find somewhere to park—not an easy thing in this part of the city. In the meantime, she’d make him a sort of mini-presentation to show him what the organization did. She was proud of what she’d achieved in a few short years.
After she’d married Josh, she’d sort of known what she wanted to do with the money; she just hadn’t been entirely sure how to go about it. She’d lived a very sheltered life until then. Boarding school most of the time. Holidays at the family’s estate in Northumberland, usually alone, as her grandmother preferred the city. So she’d just taken off. Bought a round-the-world ticket and gone around the world. In the end, she’d been away for two years.