by Kay Correll
“What did you do with it?”
Cece smiled guiltily. “I put it in my room. Thought I might take it home with me.”
“Scents can bring back memories, can’t they?”
“They can...” Cece looked at Bree, hesitating. “You know that scent of pine trees? The heavy almost vanilla scent of their bark?”
Bree frowned, but it turned into a smile. “I do know what you’re talking about. I hadn’t really associated it with vanilla, but, yes, I get that.”
“Well... I can’t stand that smell...” Cece’s eyes clouded.
“Why not?” She frowned again, unsure where her sister was heading with this.
“Because—” Cece looked right at her. “I sat there with my back against that huge pine tree for hours after Peter fell off that cliff.”
She paused and sucked in a deep breath. “I worked my way down to him, scrambling over rocks and boulders until I could reach him. I didn’t know if I’d find him alive or not.”
Bree swallowed, not sure she wanted to hear this.
“But when I got there, he was alive. Barely. I rested his head in my lap and leaned back on this massive pine tree. The scent swirled around me. To this day...” She turned and walked over to the window, staring out at the lake. “I was afraid he would die in my arms. He was hurt so badly. I kept calling for help until my voice came out in croaks. But still I called out.”
“Mom said someone did hear you calling for help.”
“Hours later, yes. The rangers came and got us. Airlifted Peter to the hospital, but he was already... gone.”
“So you sat with him like that for all that time?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to leave him alone to... die. So I couldn’t go for help. Besides, I never would have made it back out of that ravine by myself. I thought maybe I’d die down there, just like him. I was...” She placed her hand on her belly. “I was so afraid that I’d lose the baby, too.”
She could feel Cece’s pain. It was like a stab to her own heart. Cece had gone through so much that day.
“Peter was such an accomplished hiker. He knew how to be safe, not to take chances. How did he slip off the trail?”
“We were arguing...” Tears filled Cece’s eyes. “I had just gotten up the nerve to tell him I was pregnant. He stopped in his tracks and whirled around to face me... then the next thing I knew he was losing his balance and he disappeared over the edge of the trail.”
Bree remained silent. She’d never heard Cece’s version of what had happened that day. What her sister had gone through.
Bree had always made the accident about what it had done to her. How she felt. How she’d lost Peter. How the pain of it all had almost crushed her very soul.
“He... died in my arms that day. You know what his last words were?”
She could barely hear her sister now.
“He said to tell you that he was sorry.”
Bree rested her hand on the back of a chair to keep her balance. The world as she knew it was exploding around her. Her pulse raced, and the room swam in front of her eyes.
Cece’s pain was like a real object in the room. A ton of rocks crashing down on them and burying them alive. Bree wanted to reach out and comfort her sister, but her body wouldn’t listen.
Cece turned away from the window and faced Bree. “I shouldn’t have asked him to go hiking with me that day. He didn’t really want to, but I think he felt obligated since... well, you know, he’d slept with me. By then we both knew what a big mistake we’d made. But I just wanted to be alone to tell him about Petey. Someplace... away from everyone. I was so scared and excited at the same time. But if I’d just told him anywhere, like say in town, or out by the lake. Well, he’d still be alive.”
“It’s not your fault he died.” Bree, finally broken out of her inertia, walked over to stand by her sister.
“Then whose is it?”
“It was an accident. A horrible accident.”
“But I asked him to go hiking with me. I blurted out I was pregnant because he was hiking so fast, annoyed at me, and I couldn’t keep up with him. I wanted him to look at me. At me. And not see you.”
“Cece, all these years you’ve carried this guilt?”
She nodded. “It was bad enough knowing what I’d done to you. It was terrible to add on the guilt of his death. It was like he paid the price for our mistake... but I didn’t. I got Petey.”
Bree looked out at the gathering snow clouds and checked her watch for the millionth time. Finally she heard the crunch of tires on the drive and Cody came bounding into the house.
“Hey, Mom.”
“I was getting worried.”
“It hasn’t even started to snow yet.”
And just like that, big, fluffy flakes started to float down from the sky.
“Okay, well, Hunt got me back before it hit. I’m going to go grab my computer and download these photos I took.”
“Are you hungry? I could make you some pasta.”
“We stopped and grabbed food at Antonio’s before he dropped me off.”
“Okay, well, I’ll let you work then.”
She wandered to her room, feeling off-kilter. So much emotional upheaval in the cabin today. Cece had gone to her room—Abby’s room—for a bit. Bree stood and stared out the window at the huge flakes coming down.
She grabbed her coat and pulled on her boots. A walk in the fresh snow would clear her mind.
“Cody, I’ll be back soon. Just want to take a walk.”
“Okay.” He barely looked up from his computer where he was so engrossed in his photography.
She stepped outside into the quiet late afternoon air. The ground already had a wisp of snow covering. She’d forgotten how much she loved walking in the snow. The peacefulness of it. The muffled quiet with only the sound of her footsteps.
She headed down the road, then climbed the path up the hillside. Up to the gazebo. Up to the view of the lake and the mountains. The clouds hung low, wrapping the tops of the mountains in their cloak. She stood there breathing in the fresh air and the scent of the pines.
She paused. She would never feel the same when she caught the smell of the pines. Not after what Cece had told her. So many emotions rolled through her, overpowering her. She held onto the railing of the gazebo, steadying herself.
Suddenly she knew what she wanted to do. Needed to do. She needed to talk to Jason. He always listened, always understood. He’d always been able to help her sort things out.
She turned and headed to the path down toward the lodge. She looked down at the lodge, covered in a thin blanket of snow, and smiled.
There he was, on the steps of the lodge, looking up at her. As if he’d known she needed him.
Chapter 17
Jason looked up from where he was shoveling off the first of the snow from the front steps of the lodge. Bree stood at the top of the hill. She lifted a hand in a wave and headed toward him.
He wasn’t really surprised. She loved to walk in the snow. He remembered that about her. He remembered so many things about her. She loved strawberries and croissants. She loved helping her mother pick flowers and arrange them in the bazillion vases her mother had. She loved cinnamon anything. And the color teal.
And walking in the snow.
He put the shovel away, for now, but knew he’d be out again because the snow was really beginning to dump its fury.
“Hi.” Bree looked at him.
“Hi, yourself.” He could tell something was wrong, but she would talk to him on her own time. That’s always the way it worked. “Why don’t you come in for some hot chocolate? Get warmed up.”
She nodded and followed him into the lodge. They headed to the kitchen where Nora was busy putting finishing touches on the evening’s meal.
“Well, hi, you two.”
“We came for hot chocolate.” Jason pulled off his gloves.
“I’ve got a pot of it heating on the stove. Figured we might get requests for it ton
ight. I doubt if we’ll have more than just the people here at the lodge for dinner with the storm coming in.” Nora grabbed two mugs and pressed them into his hands. “Good thing, because two workers called and said they weren’t going to make it in.”
“We can help.” Bree offered.
“I can’t let you work again.”
“But of course you can.” Bree shrugged off her coat and took the mug of hot chocolate from Jason. “Let me text Cody and let him know I’m staying here awhile so he won’t worry and think I got lost in the snow.”
“Well, I appreciate it. I could use the help.”
Jason knew why Bree was jumping in to help. She wanted to talk, but she wasn’t ready. Sometimes she was so easy for him to read. That was fine. She could take her time. They’d talk after the dinner rush.
Once again they worked side by side. He readily admitted to himself he was enjoying every minute of it, not that waiting tables was his favorite thing to do at the lodge, but it was fun to do it with Bree.
The crowd thinned out and Bree finished clearing all but the last two tables of diners. His mom came out from the kitchen. “Judy is going to spend the night with me at the cabin instead of trying to drive home and get back in the morning. You two let us finish up tonight.”
“You sure?” Jason had already started untying his apron. He wanted to give Bree a chance to talk before he took her back home.
“I’m sure.”
He led Bree out into the lobby area. “You want to come to my cabin for a bit? I can drive you home after that.”
“That sounds great.” She pulled on her coat.
They headed out into the night. The storm had really hit them full steam while they’d been busy waiting on tables. They walked side by side through the deepening snow. Bree started to lose her balance at one point and grabbed his arm. She kept her hand on his arm, steadying herself as they walked along the path to his cabin. He covered her hand with his own gloved hand.
They went inside and stomped the snow from their boots. He took her coat and gloves and put them on a chair by the door. “I have the fire all ready to go. I’ll just light it. Why don’t you wander into the kitchen and see if you can find us something to drink.”
He lit the fire and watched as the flames slowly ignited the kindling and a plume of smoke rose from the wood. He turned when he heard Bree come back into the room. She handed him a bottle of beer. They clinked bottles in a silent toast and each took a swallow.
He sat back on his heels. “So, you ready to talk now?”
The magical tones of Bree’s laughter filled the cabin. “Of course, you know I need to talk.”
“Of course, I do.” He nodded gravely, then flashed her a grin. “Come on, let’s sit on the couch.”
Bree slipped off her boots, and they settled on the couch. She curled her legs beneath her, one hand wrapped gracefully around the beer bottle. He watched as she raised the bottle to her lips and took another sip. His gaze remained on her lips long after she’d set the bottle on the coffee table.
She turned to face him. “So... I think...” She glanced away then back at him. “I think I’m a self-centered, terrible person.”
“No, you’re not.” His response was automatic. She was one of the kindest, most giving people he’d ever met.
“I’ve always made Peter’s accident about me. How it affected me. Today Cece and I were talking, and she told me all about those last hours of his life. How she held him until he died. And then still held him. How she was afraid no one would find them and she might lose the baby. I can’t even imagine her fear.”
He stayed silent and let her talk.
“I was so mad. So hurt. I felt so betrayed. It was all about me and how what they did affected me. I mean... I still think it’s terrible that Peter cheated on me. That Cece slept with him. I mean she’s my sister. But I’ve come to realize that I’ve put so much of my energy into this anger. I didn’t think about how it affected Cece and Petey. Or how my pulling away from my family affected everyone. I was so self-righteous.” She took another swallow of her beer.
“It was a really tough time for everyone.” He reached over and put his hand on her knee. “Everyone was scrambling to find their footing.”
“But don’t you see? I never brought Cody here to Sweet River Falls. He would have enjoyed coming here with his grandparents. I didn’t give my parents much chance to get to know Cody. I rarely brought him to any family holiday. All I could think about was how I was wronged.”
“And now?”
“Now... now I wish I could have a do-over. I wish I’d spent more time with my folks when I could. I wish Cody could have grown up coming to the cabin all the time like I did. I wish...”
A lone tear trailed down her cheek, and he reached out to brush it away.
“Well, we can’t change the past. We can only change the future. But we can learn from our mistakes.”
“I hope I have learned. I’m trying to fix things with Cece. I’m trying. But I can’t fix things with my parents. It’s too late. I have so many, many regrets.”
“And somehow you’re going to have to find a way to forgive yourself. Move on. Change things.” He took both her hands in his. “You’re a wonderful, caring woman. We were all young when Peter died. It affected all our lives. The important thing is how we go forward from here.”
“I want so many things to change.”
“Then change them.”
“I’m going to try.”
He pulled her close and tucked her against his side, one arm draped around her shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll figure out a way.”
It was always easy to talk to Jason. She loved that. She felt so safe and accepted tucked up against his side, watching the flames dance in the fireplace.
Jason was mindlessly trailing his finger up and down her arm, staring into the fire. His touch soothed her in ways she couldn’t put into coherent thoughts.
Soothed her and stirred something inside her at the same time. She turned her face up to his. “Hey, Jason?”
“Hm?”
“Were you going to kiss me last night?”
His face broke into a wide grin. “You always were direct.”
“Were you?”
“I was. But I spent too long thinking it over.”
“So, have you thought about it long enough now?”
He laughed, throwing his head back with a chuckle. “I have. I do think it’s time I kissed you.”
She raised an eyebrow.
He slowly leaned closer and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. The warmth of his touch burned through her. She closed her eyes waiting for his kiss. A kiss she realized she might have been waiting for for most of her life.
His lips closed on hers, and she swore she heard singing and bands and fireworks. Her heart pounded so hard she could barely breathe, and heat rushed through her. He finally pulled back and she blinked.
“Wow, that was worth the wait.” He grinned at her.
“It was... good.”
He laughed again. “It was much better than good. It was fantastic. Perfect. Great.”
“Yes, all of those things, too.” She smiled at him. “Can I have another one?”
“If you insist.”
He kissed her again. And again. They sat and watched the fire with breaks to kiss some more. And some more.
Jason finally pulled away from her. “I should get you home. It’s getting late. I’m going to go out and start the truck and scrape the windshield. You stay in here until I finish.”
She didn’t really want to leave, but she really should head back. The roads would only get worse as the storm raged on.
Jason kissed her one final time and rose to put on his coat. “I’ll be back.”
She should really get her boots on and get her coat, but still she sat looking into the fire. The night had been magical. His kisses ignited something inside of her. Something fascinating and new and... she’d never felt it before. Not with
Peter. Not with her ex-husband.
The door opened, and a cold blast of air slammed through the cabin. He closed it with a shove.
“So, got some bad news. The truck won’t start. I could go get mom’s car and jump it, but really, the roads are terrible already. I’d take you over on the snowmobile, but I have it torn apart in the shed working on the motor.”
“I guess we’ll have to walk back.”
“Breester, it’s almost a whiteout out there. I think you should stay until morning. I’d say you could stay at Mom’s, but she already has Judy staying in her extra bedroom. The third bedroom she’s turned into an office. So... I guess you should stay here. With me.”
She swallowed.
Stay.
Here.
In Jason’s cabin.
But, honestly, it did make the most sense. There was no reason to risk it on the roads.
“Let me text Cody, so he’ll know where I am and not worry.”
She typed in her message. Erased it and started again.
* * *
Cody, I’m staying at the lodge overnight. The roads are bad. I’ll be back in the morning.
* * *
There was no way she was telling him she was staying at Jason’s cabin... She watched while the words disappeared into the air. Soon Cody replied with a thumbs up.
Jason knocked the snow off his boots and placed his coat on a hook by the door. “So, how about I open a bottle of wine? We can stay up for a while? Or are you sleepy?”
She wanted to stay up. Sit on the couch... and just let him kiss her. But that might not be the smartest plan.
“I am pretty tired.”
“That’s fine. Let me make up the extra bedroom for you. It’s probably a good idea to hit the sack. I’ve got to get up really early and start the plow.”
And just like that, the magic of the night was over. He made up the bed, gave her an old flannel shirt of his to sleep in, and left her at the door to her room as he headed to his.