by Kay Moser
Sarah’s tears refused to stop flowing; her mind refused to formulate a plan. Father Neville fell silent. No one moved except Hayden Hodges. He strode up the side aisle to Sarah and leaned toward her.
“We must get to Victoria before anyone else does,” he whispered. “She needs to stay in bed.”
Sarah came to life, jumping to her feet. “Surely Frances and Delphie will watch out for her.”
“She will have sent them off to their church long before now.”
“We must all go,” Lee whispered as he stood.
“What can we do?” Lavinia asked. “Surely the Boyd house must be kept quiet if Richard is to have any chance at all.”
Lee nodded. “Yes, but I can assure them that the bank is all right. Mrs. Boyd—the whole town—needs that assurance. After all, Richard has shown me the books—” Lee stopped abruptly as Sarah turned startled eyes on him. “Never mind. I am a banker. Let’s just leave it at that.”
Mrs. Logan rose. “We must go help Christine. She is certain to be overrun with visitors, and … and there must be other things we can do for her. After all, she’s done so much—” She stifled a sob with her handkerchief.
As Hayden pulled Sarah into the aisle with a look of urgency, Sarah forgot Lee’s strange statement about the books at the bank. She forgot Lavinia and Mrs. Logan. She forgot the entire church. She simply ran up the aisle with Hayden in close pursuit. “There is no way to keep Victoria away from Christine at a time like this. No way on earth!” she called back to him as she burst out the front door.
CHAPTER 7
Sarah’s prediction proved one hundred percent accurate. As she and Hayden entered the main hall of the house, they were startled to see Frances galloping down the stairs.
“You gotta do something, Mr. Hayden! Miz Victoria heard ’bout Mr. Boyd, and she all riled up. She be up there right this minute dressin’. I can’t do nothing with her!”
“How on earth did she find out?”
“General Gibbes sent a boy over here looking for you, Hayden,” Victoria proclaimed from the top of the staircase. “It seems that Richard has regained consciousness and is asking for you. Also, quite a crowd is gathering over there, and the general needs help managing it.”
Victoria’s face was drawn, her skin ashen rather than its usual milky white. Her blue eyes, pools of tears, showed determination as she descended the stairs.
Hayden tried to stop her midway. “Victoria, you are not well enough—”
“Don’t waste your breath, Hayden. I am going over there to see to it that Christine has complete privacy. These may well be her last hours with Richard; she is not going to be forced to play the hostess.”
“Victoria, you must take care of yourself,” Hayden argued, “and Christine does have General Gibbes to protect her.”
“General Gibbes needs to be upstairs with her. Someone needs to be at the front door—or even better, at the front gate.”
“Victoria—”
“Enough, Hayden! Christine is my best friend; Richard has been your best friend since childhood. Is the buggy outside or must I walk?”
Hayden took his wife’s arm and ushered her down the remaining steps. “The buggy is outside. Sarah, come with us. We’ll have to turn people away at the gate if they are insensitive enough to come at a time like this.”
“They are coming even as we stand here wasting time!” Victoria struggled to soften her voice. “I’m sure they mean well—they just want to show their concern.”
Frances stepped forward. “Miz Victoria, if the whites is gatherin’ at the front of the house, the coloreds is sure to be gatherin’ at the back. They love Mr. Boyd just as much as the whites does.”
“Probably more,” Hayden muttered. “Heaven knows, no man has ever loved—” He choked on his words and turned his face away.
“We must go.” Victoria turned him toward the door. “Frances, you and Sam come over as soon as you can and manage the coloreds.”
“We take care of ’em,” Frances promised. “Don’t you worry yourself none ’bout the coloreds. They know they place.”
***
The yard of the two-storied, white house with its inviting porches was full, but the people were quiet, and many were praying. Hayden handed the reins of the buggy over to a man, jumped down, and lifted Victoria and Sarah down.
Sarah saw that Lee stood on the front porch.
As they walked up, General Gibbes stuck his head out the front door. “Hayden, Victoria, thank God you’re here. Come quickly; he is conscious but failing fast. And, Sarah, find the girls and bring them upstairs.”
Sarah easily guessed where six-year-old Ceci and four-year-old Juli would be. When she entered the music room, she found them huddled under the piano, coaxed them out, and hurried them upstairs. Inside the master bedroom, she saw Dr. Shockley on one side of Richard’s bed and Christine on the other. Reverend Wright stood at the foot, and he turned around and motioned Sarah and the girls forward.
She led Ceci and Juli toward the bed and helped them crawl up on it. Then she backed away and stood next to Nancy and Josie, whose dark faces were wet with tears.
Richard weakly motioned the girls forward, and they scrambled to him and peered into his face.
“Girls, I’m going on a long trip. I will not see you for a long time, but I will not forget you. I will think about you every day.”
“I don’t want you to go, Papa,” Ceci insisted.
“I must go, honey.”
“No!” Juli cried. “We’ll miss you too much. Don’t go, Papa.”
“Where are you going, Papa?” Ceci asked.
“I am going to heaven, baby. I will be with Jesus, and someday you will come be with me, but until that time I need you to take care of your mother. Will you do that for me?”
“I will!” Juli volunteered.
Ceci began to cry, and Juli stared at her. “Why are you crying, Ceci?”
“Papa is leaving—” She turned to her mother. “Why is he breathing funny?”
Christine leaned over the bed. “Give Papa a kiss, girls. He is—he has to begin his trip soon.”
“But he hasn’t even packed yet,” Juli protested. “And he’s not dressed right either.”
Nancy sobbed.
“Why is Nancy crying?” Juli asked.
Christine bit her lip, drew in a long breath, then leaned over the bed, a hand stroking each girl’s head. “Jesus is waiting for Papa, girls. We must let him get on his way. Now give Papa a good-bye kiss and go with Nancy.”
After each girl kissed her father, Christine pulled her away and handed her to Nancy. Ceci was sobbing when the bedroom door closed quietly behind them.
Victoria moved to Christine’s side and stood with her arm around her waist.
Richard saw her. “Victoria.”
She stepped forward, leaned over the bed, and kissed his cheek.
“Promise me … promise me you will support Christine’s music. See to it that she is heard.”
“I promise you, Richard.”
“The boys are older, but the girls … so young … Promise me ...”
“Anything they need. I promise.”
“Where is Hayden?”
“Here.” Hayden stepped forward and took his friend’s hand as Victoria receded from the bedside and stood behind Christine, her arms wrapped securely around her friend’s waist.
Richard’s voice grew weaker. “In the safe at the bank … records of all my business dealings … some of it, complicated. General will need help ... Hire Lee Logan. Do as Christine says; she knows my heart.”
“You can count on me, my friend,” Hayden promised.
“Always have. Remember when we were boys … before the War … before all the death, all the loss.” Richard’s face contorted with pain.
“You mustn’t try to talk,” Hayden insisted.
Richard grabbed his hand. “Take care of Christine … my children.”
“I will. I swear it! As long as I bre
athe, they will be my family. Your children will be my children.”
“I am content then. There is no finer man.”
“There is. But you are leaving us.”
Richard’s breath staggered. “General?”
“Here, son.” General Gibbes stepped up to the foot of the bed.
“You are my hero, sir,” Richard croaked out.
General Gibbes flinched. “You are not of my flesh and blood, but you are my son, and I have loved you.”
“Good-bye, sir.”
General Gibbes drew himself up to full attention and saluted.
Richard feebly held up his right arm. “Christine!”
Christine flew into his embrace.
Richard gasped, drew a slow, raspy breath. “I love you …”
He was gone.
All around the room, people slowly sank to their knees, tears streaming down their cheeks, prayers ascending. Only one person remained standing. General Gibbes stood ramrod straight, eyes over-brimming, salute fixed.
Reverend Wright opened his Bible and began to read from the Scriptures.
Sarah backed away. What is wrong with me? I just want to run. Everyone else is praying, and I want to run. Her heart beat frantically as she fumbled for the door knob. I must get out of here! She bolted from the room, raced down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door. Lee caught her, and with a wretched sob, she burrowed into his arms in full view of those waiting and praying in the front yard. A soft wail swept across the crowd. Lee walked her back inside, led her to the shadowed music room, and sat her down.
“I am so ashamed!”
“Why?” He sat next to her and held her.
“I just ran. Everyone else is up there praying, and I ran. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve seen death many times. Just two years ago I held my new baby sister, Rose, as she—” Sarah choked and began to sob.
“I think that’s exactly why you are reacting so strongly. I know you love Christine and Richard, but this sudden, unexpected death has cast you back to that horrible experience.”
“I never want to love anyone again! It just hurts too much to lose people.”
“You don’t mean that, Sarah. Life is empty without love, and you know that. It was love for all the children you could help as a teacher that made you come back to town after Rose’s death. It was love that gave you the courage to take the entrance exam for college. Love made you study so hard to become a teacher.”
“I don’t have any more love to give. I am finished with putting my heart on the line and—”
“Miss Sarah,” a tiny voice, Ceci’s voice, called from under the piano. “Has Papa gone to see Jesus yet?”
“No!” Juli scrambled out, followed closely by her big sister. “I don’t want him to go.” She stamped her foot. “I hate Jesus! He made Papa come see Him, but we need him here. Who’s going to love us now?”
Sarah’s tears stopped instantly. She flew across the room, threw herself on her knees, and scooped the girls into her arms. “Your mother loves you; she adores you.”
Ceci sobbed. “What if Jesus makes Mama come see Him too? Then no one will love us.”
“That’s not true.” Sarah pressed the girls into her own body. “I will love you. I will always love you.”
Lee rose, walked over to Sarah, and stroked her head. “So much for not loving anymore, my darling Sarah. You were born to love; don’t fight it.” He squatted down in front of Ceci and Juli. “There’s no need for you to be afraid, girls. Many, many people love you, and we will take care of you and your mother.” He kissed Sarah lightly on the lips. “I must go see where I’m needed. You are what the girls need now.”
CHAPTER 8
“You are troubled, son,” Mrs. Logan said as she pushed open the screen door onto the wide, rounded porch of her Queen Anne-style home and joined Lee. “I know Richard’s death has shaken you; it’s shaken us all. Somehow, though, I think you have more than that on your mind. Perhaps it would help to talk about it ...”
“It’s late, Mother, and you need to sleep while it’s a little cooler.”
“Do you really think I could sleep, knowing my son is in turmoil?”
Lee embraced her. “You’ve always been able to read my mind.”
“And why shouldn’t I be able? You are a part of me and the very image of your splendid father.”
“I wish Father were here now.”
“My ears can listen just as well, and as for advice, you already know what he would say.”
“Yes, I know he would advise me to take the job Richard Boyd offered me before he died, assuming, of course, that General Gibbes approves.” Lee’s eyes suddenly swam with tears. “Father would want me to live closer to you and Lavinia.” Hastily he wiped his eyes. “Look at me. A grown man weeping! I should be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself.”
“A grown man rightly weeps when he loses a dear one, and Richard Boyd has been more than a mentor to you. He has been like an older brother.”
“I can’t believe he’s gone.” Lee whirled away from his mother and slammed his hand against an ornate, carved white post. “Suddenly I feel ten years old and totally unsure of myself.”
“Son, your reaction to death is perfectly normal. The death of a close one always makes us aware of our own mortality. It always reminds us that we do not have control of our futures.”
“But I don’t remember feeling this insecure when Father died.”
“When your father died, you were only nineteen, full of confidence in your abilities. Now you are nearing thirty years of age. You know what it means to be a man; you have carried the weight of a professional career and taken care of this family.”
Lee nodded.
“I can’t help wondering … I know that, in addition to your grief, you are trying to decide whether to take the job and move back to Riverford, but is that all that is bothering you?”
Lee stared out into the yard a while before admitting, “It is Sarah. I desperately want to marry her and create a family. I love her. I want to take care of her. Is that so wrong?”
“Of course not. Those are the feelings of an honorable man when he loves a woman. Have you asked her to marry you?”
“Not directly. She has made it plain she would not welcome the question.”
“Perhaps this fall when she returns from her studies in Colorado.”
“That’s what I’ve been hoping, of course, but Richard’s death has filled me with new anxieties. What if something happens to her?” Lee whirled to face her. “Mother, I have been a complete fraud. I see now that I am no more modern than any other man. I don’t want Sarah to leave Riverford by herself.”
“I doubt that you have much to say about that.” Mrs. Logan sank onto a wicker settee and looked up at her son. “She is the most independent-minded young woman I’ve ever met.”
Lee sighed. “Heaven knows the last several years have taught me that. Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with a conventional girl?”
Mrs. Logan laughed. “It is Sarah’s independence that attracts you, son. It is her intelligence, her spirit of adventure that intrigues you. You would be miserable with a traditional girl; she would bore you to death within a week.”
“As much as I adore Victoria Hodges, I would like to throttle her for encouraging Sarah to spend the summer in Colorado.”
“If Victoria Hodges had not intervened three years ago, Sarah would have been forced to marry one of the Sykora boys when she was sixteen years old.”
“I know. There’s no doubt that Victoria saved Sarah by lifting her out of a life of drudgery.”
“She made it possible for Sarah to blossom. You must be careful, son. You don’t want to stop that process. Trust me on this matter. I can think of no better basis for a miserable marriage than for a woman like Sarah to be imprisoned in domesticity.”
Lee sighed as he settled by her side. “Sarah is like a bird who must fly in order to sing. I know that, Mother.”
“In Sarah’s case, she is like a lark. The higher she flies, the more beautiful her song. So you must let her go and hope she returns to you. That’s what you’re really concerned about, isn’t it? You are afraid that out there in the world she may find someone she likes better than you.”
“Yes, of course I am. That glittering world will present many eligible young men. Men more gifted, more interesting than I am.”
Mrs. Logan took her son’s hand in hers. “Lee, I believe with all my heart that Sarah truly loves you. It is unfortunate that you are a good bit older than she. It means you have had to wait longer for marriage than most men.” She sighed. “And the wait is not quite over.”
Lee’s voice hardened. “Mother, I cannot let her leave without some kind of agreement. I thought I could, but Richard’s death has changed everything for me. It’s made me feel frantic.”
“Son, all you can do is ask. Perhaps some agreement could be made that is less than an actual engagement.”
Lee pulled away, his body rigid with agitation and frustration. “I want to put an engagement ring on her finger! I have—” Lee paused. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about this, but I have taken Grandma’s ring out of the safety deposit box. I want to give it to Sarah.”
“It will not be a ring that binds Sarah to you, Lee—even one as beautiful as Grandma’s. It will be Sarah’s integrity. Speak to her. Ask her directly to marry you. If she cannot agree to that at this time, ask her to consider herself bound to you in some other way.”
“I haven’t much time,” Lee muttered. “She leaves in a little over a week, and for the next few days I can’t expect her to think of anything but helping Christine.”
“Then you better go to bed. Tomorrow will be a full day.” Mrs. Logan patted her son on the knee as she rose. At the door, she paused and looked back at him. “Lee, you are a fine man. Your father would be proud of you. I am proud of you. I shall be praying for the best outcome between you and Sarah. Remember, son, God is your best counsel. Talk it over with Him.”