by Alexa Davis
“He’s the one who sent Pete out right away. I understood you not waiting, but I would’ve kicked my brother’s butt if he’d just let you go without telling me.” She let me go and laughed softly.
“I believe you.” I grinned at her. “You go ahead and take the kitchen to make your call. I think you might even find a snack and something to drink in the fridge. I still feel like I need to be able to see out the front window, so I’ll call the police from in here, and ask if we even need to go down to talk to them.”
I poured myself a glass of sweet tea while I sat on hold, waiting for them to figure out who was handling Libby’s case while I was on my paid leave. When Cynthia finally picked up, I grinned so hard my face hurt, glad Libby couldn’t see me from her couch.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Tucker. The fight between you and Mr. Jameson has been in the number one gossip slot the whole time I’ve been back,” she scoffed. “In fact, I overheard that you both have your hearings coming up, they’re just waiting to find out what time slot you got, to call you.” I felt a vise unclench from my shoulders as she spoke.
“Well, I’m certainly glad it’s gonna be over soon. I can’t wait to get back to, uh… less back-breaking work,” I laughed.
“Well, I’ll get Mr. Holden on the line,” she offered. I agreed and she put me on hold. Less than five minutes later, I was reinstated on a limited basis, and asked to be back in the office the next day for the partners meeting. The investigation was done, and even though I needed to give them my testimony in court, there was no reason for me to be out of the loop completely, since as far as the firm was concerned, I had done my due diligence. But I still couldn’t handle any of my case load until after I had testified.
The thought of being the one to answer questions on the stand was daunting. I’d given depositions, but never on the stand. There was a solemnity to taking the stand. It was a procedure I’d always had a great deal of respect for, and never thought I would find myself taking part in, from the other side of the questions.
Libby came into the kitchen while I sat, thinking about Carl, and how much of this fight I could’ve avoided if I hadn’t put up with so much for so long. I’d put my loyalty to my firm above my own happiness, and in the end, it hadn’t gotten me anything but more trouble and headache.
“I get to go back to work tomorrow,” I announced, and she clapped for me. “On a very restricted basis, security-wise, until after I testify, but that should be in the next day or so, as well.” I leaned back in the high back barstool and clasped my fingers behind my head. “You know, this means that holds on any of our court cases, including yours, will be lifted and the judge can give her decision. It will all be over, Libby.” She bit her lip, and I could see the sheen of tears under her dark lashes.
“Thank you, Tuck,” She sniffed. I slid of the stool and went to her. Tears soaked my shirt as I held her to me, her arms wrapped around my waist. “I’m not really crying, I’m just happy to move on.” I laughed and pulled away from her to see the dark blotches on the fabric, then held her tighter.
“I’m so sorry that my fight with my old coworker, put you in such a bind.”
“I thought about that,” she admitted, and a lot of other factors that led me, or us, to where we are now.” She stood back, and took my hands in hers, swinging them gently. “I’m really grateful for everything that put us here, together, right now. From Andrew pitching me out into the world without a life raft, to you leaving the old firm, to Kristy coming to stay with us.” She put my hands behind her back and reached up to draw my face down to her for a kiss. I kissed her chastely at first, then deeper as she parted her lips for me.
She was soft and alluring, and her sweet taste invited more of me in, so I delved into her mouth, exploring the wet heat of her mouth the way I wanted to taste her elsewhere. She moaned, and I pressed her against me, so she could feel how affected I was by her. Her hand slid between us, and I pulled away.
“I’m not saying I don’t want to, but I made a point that I wasn’t just around for that,” I reminded her, while my body screamed at me to shut up and take whatever she offered me.
“So, no sex?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Surely, we can go a little while without and still like each other, I mean, we did it for years.”
“Well, yes, but I was almost always thinking about it. I wanted you, even when I wasn’t allowed to have you. I had this fantasy of you and I together, and you didn’t care how I hung the dish towels up, or if I chose to eat steak instead of salad,” she laughed. The smile melted off her sweet face, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and I hugged her hard enough to pick her up off the floor. “The reality has turned out better than the fantasy. Apparently, my imagination needed a little, um, re-education about how some things worked.” I coughed and hugged her tighter, secretly glad I’d given her something she had never had. If things went the way I planned, I’d be doing that a lot more frequently in the future.
30. Libby
I hadn’t expected everything to go back to rainbows between Tucker and me with my apology, but I had hoped it would. Even though I couldn’t tempt him out of his clothes, he had come to help me. That was what had to matter. But sitting across from him at dinner after agreeing to leave my car behind and go back to the ranch with him, I wished we’d chosen to eat in. He hadn’t bothered to shave, and the rough stubble on his face made him look even more the part of the cowboy in a movie. He was rugged only as much as it made him masculine, pretty at the edges with long eyelashes. His soft, pouting lips made women, or at least this woman, melt every time he spoke or smiled.
“Libby, are you there?” He asked as I stared, and my face instantly colored.
“Yes. I’m sorry, I was… um, thinking. Were you talking to me?” He chook his head and I exhaled in relief.
“You looked so far away. You must have been thinking something good, though. You have the prettiest smile on the planet.” My face started to get hot from the blood that rushed to it.
“Thanks,” I chuckled. “I appreciate all the reasons I have to use it.” He met my eyes, and his hand reached out across the table. I took it, and my smile threatened to turn to tears, even though I felt so happy that my heart wanted to burst free of its bony cage.
“I love you, Elizabeth Grace Peele.” He held my hand tighter, and my bottom lip slid between my teeth as I tried to control my emotions.
“I love you, too, Tucker James Lancaster,” I giggled. “I can’t believe you remembered my middle name.”
“There isn’t a lot about you I have forgotten, Libby, even from the day we met.” He glanced at his watch. “I’d better get you up to the ranch. I have to get back home, so Kennedy and I can get back to our routine in the morning.”
“You aren’t staying the night?” He shook his head.
“No, I’ll have a better day if I just come back. Don’t worry, I’m still going to get you ladies home, I only have to go in to the office to sign the documents for the hearing.” I shuddered.
“Ugh. Hearing. Is it going to be as bad as it sounds, like a real trial?”
“God, no!” he laughed and pressed my fingers reassuringly. “It looks like a trial, I guess, if you’re watching the Committee ask questions, but, I’m not going to get fired, or disbarred for my responses, because I’ve done nothing wrong. Even if I had.”
“Like Mr. Jameson?”
“Well, fortunately for him, that’s not for me to decide. But even he is entitled to due process,” he reminded me.
“You really love the law, don’t you?”
“The law is what defines us as humans. It keeps people safe, helps us to protect those who can’t help themselves, and stands between persecutors and their victims when it’s applied properly. The law is the greatest achievement of mankind, aside from medicine. In my not-so-humble opinion, of course.” I laughed.
“Would you have become a doctor?”
“I’m not smart enough to feel conf
ident in holding someone’s life in my hand quite that literally.” He let go of my hand and picked up his beer. “To the end of trials, of any kind.”
“Oh, yes. Hear! Hear!” I laughed. “I am ready for some peaceful quiet… chaos of starting a new business,” I giggled. “Because even hard good things are easier than bad things of any difficulty.” Tucker’s decision to drive me all the way back to the ranch just to turn around and head back into Austin troubled me. He was justified by picking up Kennedy, but it seemed like a lot for very little payout.
“What’s up? You look worried. Everything is going to be okay, no matter what gets decided tomorrow, and once tomorrow is done, your case can go forward. I don’t have to remind you, that you’re ending that on a particularly high note.”
“Do you think Olivia would be okay out on the ranch without me? I mean, I don’t feel comfortable leaving her with Kristy, but she offered to watch her so you and I could spend some time together. You could always spend the night with me, then go back tomorrow, after your meeting.” He shook his head.
“She’d be fine, but I need to be alone tonight, go through things in my head, make sure I’m ready to answer unexpected questions. Unfortunately for me, as appetizing as time alone with you sounds, you’re just too distracting.” He let his gaze wander down from my eyes to my mouth and then farther. My blush and abrupt throat clearing made him grin, and I glanced over his shoulder at the approaching waitress.
“Then we should get the check,” I suggested. I raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked.
“It’s almost early enough to go back to your place first,” he said, exhaling. If it had been anyone else, I’d have called it self-pity.
“It’s your ban on sex, not mine,” I countered. “Anytime you’re finished fooling with that nonsense, you let me know.” He laughed loudly enough that the people at the booth across the aisle from us glanced over. I bit off a laugh of my own, and averted my eyes. The light at the end of my tunnel got brighter, just sitting there, laughing with the man I loved. I hated that he felt he couldn’t touch me, but I had a few ideas how I was going to celebrate when he broke the ban, and I was looking forward to it.
The drive back to the ranch was uneventful and quiet. It felt like Tucker had already started looking ahead to his hearing, and I left him to his thoughts while I watched trees go by in the shadow of dusk. I already missed Olivia. I wanted to scoop her into my arms and dance with her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, and she wouldn’t see me worried anymore.
Honestly, I hated myself for wasting so much time filled with fear for our future. I had managed to graduate high school as an orphan. I had gone to college with a scholarship, and once upon a time, I had loved spending time with people who I could help. That person was peering out of me into the growing darkness, excited for tomorrow.
I wanted to share with Tucker how it felt to watch the part of me I despised the most, all the weakness and fear, receding into the shadows while the person I recognized as me pushed her way into the light. But I knew it would keep. It was enough that I saw a glimpse of her. I had butterflies in my stomach, and my fingers started to fidget. Without hesitation, without even looking over, Tucker’s hand found mine, and he threaded his long, graceful fingers through my littler ones.
There had never been a moment in my life where I felt more ready for what lay ahead. But even as I celebrated finding myself in the rubble of the woman Andrew had tried to create, a shadow crept over the edge of my thoughts. I hadn’t had true happiness in so long. What was I going to do when the other shoe dropped, and my happiness was taken from me?
I kept my thoughts to myself, and let Tucker soothe me as he gently rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. I couldn’t tell if he’d meant to calm me, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he could read me so well, he knew when there was turmoil below a calm surface. Releasing the tension from my shoulders, I inhaled deeply and sighed out my frustration with my lingering doubts.
“What’s up, good-looking?” he glanced over, then his eyes went back to the road.
“I was just thinking about how I wasn’t going to talk to you about what’s going on in my head, because you looked like you were concentrating.” He chuckled. “You got all tense, and I could see your reflection in the windshield when we passed under lights. You got pretty intense there. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”
I shrugged.
“Do you remember what I was like when we met?”
“You mean back when you were the first one to get naked and dive into the pool after hours? Yes, I believe I remember that girl.”
“I want to be her again.” I didn’t say anything more, and he went quiet for so long, I wondered if I’d offended him somehow.
“You know,” he finally said, “You haven’t ever stopped being her, not completely,” I wanted to argue, but he held up a finger, and I paused to hear him out. “I saw her when Olivia was born. In your fierce protectiveness. Remember when Mrs. Peele got drunk, and she wanted to hold her?” I groaned. I remembered too well.
“I remember telling her to get out of my house until she sobered up, or she’d never see her grandchild or son ever again.” I peeked sideways at him. “As it turned out, she was only worried about half of that threat.” He made a rude noise and I smiled.
“I saw her the day you moved out of your home, while Andrew stood there, drink in hand, refusing to help, just watching to make sure you didn’t take anything he wanted.” I frowned.
“I didn’t fight that day, Tucker. I just took what he gave me and left.”
“True. You packed, moved, and not once did you cry, or fall apart, or beg him to let you stay. I believe the last thing you said before I escorted you to the car, was something like: ‘You always take what you want Andrew. What will happen to you once you find out none of it was what you needed?’ Ahh.” He sighed. “I was so proud.”
“I felt stronger when he came out and said he didn’t want a family than I had for months before, wondering what was wrong, trying to fix whatever I had done to make him even colder and more distant.” I shuddered. “Enough about that, though. Haven’t we passed the point in dating where we can talk about the ex?”
“In this situation, I think it does us both a lot of good, honestly,” he countered. “He let us both down, and I think it’s okay to admit that. Especially if neither of us wants to fall into the same patterns with the other, now.” I clutched his hand tight.
“I love you a little more than I did five minutes ago,” I admitted, looking out the passenger window so he wouldn’t see me cry. He didn’t say anything, just pressed my fingers to his lips. He let me stare into the darkness that had enveloped the car, leaving me to my thoughts until the big “Lago Colina Ranch” sign appeared in the headlights.
Olivia was bathed and ready for bed, cuddling with Kennedy and another ranch dog, while Rachel read “The Borrowers” to her. She said she was “practicing for the baby,” and asked if they could read another chapter together, to Olivia’s delight. I went upstairs to check on Kristy, and found her huddled in the corner of her bed.
“I blocked his number,” she said as I entered the room. I knew without asking who “he” was. “Did you know that only sends them to your voicemail? I have fifteen new messages, and I’m afraid to open my voicemail to delete them, because of what I’ll hear.” I sat on the edge of the bed and she reached out to me. “But how about some not-so-crazy news? Did you and Tucker make up all the way?” I shook my head.
“You knew about that?”
“Honey, he makes you glow. You haven’t been glowing since we got here. But tonight? There’s something different.” I pursed my lips.
“I’m different. Or rather, I’m who I used to be, more than I have been in a while. If that’s got a glow, then that makes me even happier.” She wriggled and leaned forward, her troubles pushed away with the ease found in the young and resilient.
“Are you a badass now? Be
cause that was a sore point in my marriage, if you don’t mind me saying so.” I blinked.
“What?” I gasped.
“Andy said, more than once, ‘Why can’t I find a nice girl who doesn’t fight?’” She whined, approximating my ex-husband well enough that I cringed.
“Wow. I am so sorry. If we had met, I would’ve warned you.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” she scoffed, “I wouldn’t have listened. Stubborn, you know?” I laughed.
“I like to be right, too. Which made the situation I found myself in even worse.” She leaned in and hugged me.
“Would it mean I was a bad person if I told you I wasn’t really in love with him?” She asked, watching my face. “I cared about him, and I liked being with him,” she paused, “I just felt, I don’t know… rushed.” I scoffed.
“No. It wouldn’t make you a bad person. It would make you a woman who was in a relationship with a controlling person, who got bulldozed into marriage, because Andrew got weird and paranoid at the end because of his tumor, and thought he needed you to protect his money from me—or worse—Olivia.”
“Right before he died, I talked to his doctor once, by myself, and told him how things were. He said that paranoia and stuff was ‘par for the course’ with his condition.”
“I won’t lie, I wish I’d known that. It could’ve saved me a lot of hours hating him. I had to find out he was sick from a near-stranger.” I cringed. “We have to talk about other things. I felt so good about myself, and it’s like his ghost is stealing that from me.” She shuddered.
“No kidding. I say we sneak downstairs to the kitchen. Patty taught me how to make hot cocoa on this ridiculous machine she has.” I raised an eyebrow. “She also showed me where she keeps the Baileys.” I bounced off the bed.
“Lead on, sister, lead on.” I held out a hand to her and helped her off too, then followed her out to the suspended walkway. Olivia was still snuggled into Rachel’s lap, their heads close together as they read. Families were a package deal, I’d learned from having the mother-in-law from hell, and again when Aunt Kristy had come into our lives.