Chapter xi.
In which the Man of the Hill begins to relate his history.
"I was born in a village of Somersetshire, called Mark, in the year1657. My father was one of those whom they call gentlemen farmers. Hehad a little estate of about L300 a year of his own, and rentedanother estate of near the same value. He was prudent and industrious,and so good a husbandman, that he might have led a very easy andcomfortable life, had not an arrant vixen of a wife soured hisdomestic quiet. But though this circumstance perhaps made himmiserable, it did not make him poor; for he confined her almostentirely at home, and rather chose to bear eternal upbraidings in hisown house, than to injure his fortune by indulging her in theextravagancies she desired abroad.
"By this Xanthippe" (so was the wife of Socrates called, saidPartridge)--"by this Xanthippe he had two sons, of which I was theyounger. He designed to give us both good education; but my elderbrother, who, unhappily for him, was the favourite of my mother,utterly neglected his learning; insomuch that, after having been fiveor six years at school with little or no improvement, my father, beingtold by his master that it would be to no purpose to keep him longerthere, at last complied with my mother in taking him home from thehands of that tyrant, as she called his master; though indeed he gavethe lad much less correction than his idleness deserved, but muchmore, it seems, than the young gentleman liked, who constantlycomplained to his mother of his severe treatment, and she asconstantly gave him a hearing."
"Yes, yes," cries Partridge, "I have seen such mothers; I have beenabused myself by them, and very unjustly; such parents deservecorrection as much as their children."
Jones chid the pedagogue for his interruption, and then the strangerproceeded.
"My brother now, at the age of fifteen, bade adieu to all learning,and to everything else but to his dog and gun; with which latter hebecame so expert, that, though perhaps you may think it incredible, hecould not only hit a standing mark with great certainty, but hathactually shot a crow as it was flying in the air. He was likewiseexcellent at finding a hare sitting, and was soon reputed one of thebest sportsmen in the country; a reputation which both he and hismother enjoyed as much as if he had been thought the finest scholar.
"The situation of my brother made me at first think my lot the harder,in being continued at school: but I soon changed my opinion; for as Iadvanced pretty fast in learning, my labours became easy, and myexercise so delightful, that holidays were my most unpleasant time;for my mother, who never loved me, now apprehending that I had thegreater share of my father's affection, and finding, or at leastthinking, that I was more taken notice of by some gentlemen oflearning, and particularly by the parson of the parish, than mybrother, she now hated my sight, and made home so disagreeable to me,that what is called by school-boys Black Monday, was to me the whitestin the whole year.
"Having at length gone through the school at Taunton, I was thenceremoved to Exeter College in Oxford, where I remained four years; atthe end of which an accident took me off entirely from my studies; andhence, I may truly date the rise of all which happened to meafterwards in life.
"There was at the same college with myself one Sir George Gresham, ayoung fellow who was intitled to a very considerable fortune, which hewas not, by the will of his father, to come into full possession oftill he arrived at the age of twenty-five. However, the liberality ofhis guardians gave him little cause to regret the abundant caution ofhis father; for they allowed him five hundred pounds a year while heremained at the university, where he kept his horses and his whore,and lived as wicked and as profligate a life as he could have done hadhe been never so entirely master of his fortune; for besides the fivehundred a year which he received from his guardians, he found means tospend a thousand more. He was above the age of twenty-one, and had nodifficulty in gaining what credit he pleased.
"This young fellow, among many other tolerable bad qualities, had onevery diabolical. He had a great delight in destroying and ruining theyouth of inferior fortune, by drawing them into expenses which theycould not afford so well as himself; and the better, and worthier, andsoberer any young man was, the greater pleasure and triumph had he inhis destruction. Thus acting the character which is recorded of thedevil, and going about seeking whom he might devour.
"It was my misfortune to fall into an acquaintance and intimacy withthis gentleman. My reputation of diligence in my studies made me adesirable object of his mischievous intention; and my own inclinationmade it sufficiently easy for him to effect his purpose; for though Ihad applied myself with much industry to books, in which I took greatdelight, there were other pleasures in which I was capable of takingmuch greater; for I was high-mettled, had a violent flow of animalspirits, was a little ambitious, and extremely amorous.
"I had not long contracted an intimacy with Sir George before I becamea partaker of all his pleasures; and when I was once entered on thatscene, neither my inclination nor my spirit would suffer me to play anunder part. I was second to none of the company in any acts ofdebauchery; nay, I soon distinguished myself so notably in all riotsand disorders, that my name generally stood first in the roll ofdelinquents; and instead of being lamented as the unfortunate pupil ofSir George, I was now accused as the person who had misled anddebauched that hopeful young gentleman; for though he was theringleader and promoter of all the mischief, he was never soconsidered. I fell at last under the censure of the vice-chancellor,and very narrowly escaped expulsion.
"You will easily believe, sir, that such a life as I am now describingmust be incompatible with my further progress in learning; and that inproportion as I addicted myself more and more to loose pleasure, Imust grow more and more remiss in application to my studies. This wastruly the consequence; but this was not all. My expenses now greatlyexceeded not only my former income, but those additions which Iextorted from my poor generous father, on pretences of sums beingnecessary for preparing for my approaching degree of batchelor ofarts. These demands, however, grew at last so frequent and exorbitant,that my father by slow degrees opened his ears to the accounts whichhe received from many quarters of my present behaviour, and which mymother failed not to echo very faithfully and loudly; adding, `Ay,this is the fine gentleman, the scholar who doth so much honour to hisfamily, and is to be the making of it. I thought what all thislearning would come to. He is to be the ruin of us all, I find, afterhis elder brother hath been denied necessaries for his sake, toperfect his education forsooth, for which he was to pay us suchinterest: I thought what the interest would come to,' with much moreof the same kind; but I have, I believe, satisfied you with thistaste.
"My father, therefore, began now to return remonstrances instead ofmoney to my demands, which brought my affairs perhaps a little soonerto a crisis; but had he remitted me his whole income, you will imagineit could have sufficed a very short time to support one who kept pacewith the expenses of Sir George Gresham.
"It is more than possible that the distress I was now in for money,and the impracticability of going on in this manner, might haverestored me at once to my senses and to my studies, had I opened myeyes before I became involved in debts from which I saw no hopes ofever extricating myself. This was indeed the great art of Sir George,and by which he accomplished the ruin of many, whom he afterwardslaughed at as fools and coxcombs, for vying, as he called it, with aman of his fortune. To bring this about, he would now and then advancea little money himself, in order to support the credit of theunfortunate youth with other people; till, by means of that verycredit, he was irretrievably undone.
"My mind being by these means grown as desperate as my fortune, therewas scarce a wickedness which I did not meditate, in order for myrelief. Self-murder itself became the subject of my seriousdeliberation; and I had certainly resolved on it, had not a moreshameful, though perhaps less sinful, thought expelled it from myhead."--Here he hesitated a moment, and then cried out, "I protest, somany years have not washed away the shame of this act, and I shallblush while I relate it." Jones desired him to pass
over anything thatmight give him pain in the relation; but Partridge eagerly cried out,"Oh, pray, sir, let us hear this; I had rather hear this than all therest; as I hope to be saved, I will never mention a word of it." Joneswas going to rebuke him, but the stranger prevented it by proceedingthus: "I had a chum, a very prudent, frugal young lad, who, though hehad no very large allowance, had by his parsimony heaped up upwards offorty guineas, which I knew he kept in his escritore. I took thereforean opportunity of purloining his key from his breeches-pocket, whilehe was asleep, and thus made myself master of all his riches: afterwhich I again conveyed his key into his pocket, and counterfeitingsleep--though I never once closed my eyes, lay in bed till after hearose and went to prayers--an exercise to which I had long beenunaccustomed.
"Timorous thieves, by extreme caution, often subject themselves todiscoveries, which those of a bolder kind escape. Thus it happened tome; for had I boldly broke open his escritore, I had, perhaps, escapedeven his suspicion; but as it was plain that the person who robbed himhad possessed himself of his key, he had no doubt, when he firstmissed his money, but that his chum was certainly the thief. Now as hewas of a fearful disposition, and much my inferior in strength, and Ibelieve in courage, he did not dare to confront me with my guilt, forfear of worse bodily consequences which might happen to him. Herepaired therefore immediately to the vice-chancellor, and uponswearing to the robbery, and to the circumstances of it, very easilyobtained a warrant against one who had now so bad a character throughthe whole university.
"Luckily for me, I lay out of the college the next evening; for thatday I attended a young lady in a chaise to Witney, where we staid allnight, and in our return, the next morning, to Oxford, I met one of mycronies, who acquainted me with sufficient news concerning myself tomake me turn my horse another way."
"Pray, sir, did he mention anything of the warrant?" said Partridge.But Jones begged the gentleman to proceed without regarding anyimpertinent questions; which he did as follows:--
"Having now abandoned all thoughts of returning to Oxford, the nextthing which offered itself was a journey to London. I imparted thisintention to my female companion, who at first remonstrated againstit; but upon producing my wealth, she immediately consented. We thenstruck across the country, into the great Cirencester road, and madesuch haste, that we spent the next evening, save one, in London.
"When you consider the place where I now was, and the company withwhom I was, you will, I fancy, conceive that a very short time broughtme to an end of that sum of which I had so iniquitously possessedmyself.
"I was now reduced to a much higher degree of distress than before:the necessaries of life began to be numbered among my wants; and whatmade my case still the more grievous was, that my paramour, of whom Iwas now grown immoderately fond, shared the same distresses withmyself. To see a woman you love in distress; to be unable to relieveher, and at the same time to reflect that you have brought her intothis situation, is perhaps a curse of which no imagination canrepresent the horrors to those who have not felt it."--"I believe itfrom my soul," cries Jones, "and I pity you from the bottom of myheart:" he then took two or three disorderly turns about the room, andat last begged pardon, and flung himself into his chair, crying, "Ithank Heaven, I have escaped that!"
"This circumstance," continued the gentleman, "so severely aggravatedthe horrors of my present situation, that they became absolutelyintolerable. I could with less pain endure the raging in my ownnatural unsatisfied appetites, even hunger or thirst, than I couldsubmit to leave ungratified the most whimsical desires of a woman onwhom I so extravagantly doated, that, though I knew she had been themistress of half my acquaintance, I firmly intended to marry her. Butthe good creature was unwilling to consent to an action which theworld might think so much to my disadvantage. And as, possibly, shecompassionated the daily anxieties which she must have perceived mesuffer on her account, she resolved to put an end to my distress. Shesoon, indeed, found means to relieve me from my troublesome andperplexed situation; for while I was distracted with variousinventions to supply her with pleasures, she very kindly--betrayed meto one of her former lovers at Oxford, by whose care and diligence Iwas immediately apprehended and committed to gaol.
"Here I first began seriously to reflect on the miscarriages of myformer life; on the errors I had been guilty of; on the misfortuneswhich I had brought on myself; and on the grief which I must haveoccasioned to one of the best of fathers. When I added to all thesethe perfidy of my mistress, such was the horror of my mind, that life,instead of being longer desirable, grew the object of my abhorrence;and I could have gladly embraced death as my dearest friend, if it hadoffered itself to my choice unattended by shame.
"The time of the assizes soon came, and I was removed by habeas corpusto Oxford, where I expected certain conviction and condemnation; but,to my great surprize, none appeared against me, and I was, at the endof the sessions, discharged for want of prosecution. In short, my chumhad left Oxford, and whether from indolence, or from what other motiveI am ignorant, had declined concerning himself any farther in theaffair."
"Perhaps," cries Partridge, "he did not care to have your blood uponhis hands; and he was in the right on't. If any person was to behanged upon my evidence, I should never be able to lie aloneafterwards, for fear of seeing his ghost."
"I shall shortly doubt, Partridge," says Jones, "whether thou art morebrave or wise."--"You may laugh at me, sir, if you please," answeredPartridge; "but if you will hear a very short story which I can tell,and which is most certainly true, perhaps you may change your opinion.In the parish where I was born--" Here Jones would have silenced him;but the stranger interceded that he might be permitted to tell hisstory, and in the meantime promised to recollect the remainder of hisown.
Partridge then proceeded thus: "In the parish where I was born, therelived a farmer whose name was Bridle, and he had a son named Francis,a good hopeful young fellow: I was at the grammar-school with him,where I remember he was got into Ovid's Epistles, and he couldconstrue you three lines together sometimes without looking into adictionary. Besides all this, he was a very good lad, never missedchurch o' Sundays, and was reckoned one of the best psalm-singers inthe whole parish. He would indeed now and then take a cup too much,and that was the only fault he had."--"Well, but come to the ghost,"cries Jones. "Never fear, sir; I shall come to him soon enough,"answered Partridge. "You must know, then, that farmer Bridle lost amare, a sorrel one, to the best of my remembrance; and so it fell outthat this young Francis shortly afterward being at a fair at Hindon,and as I think it was on--, I can't remember the day; and being as hewas, what should he happen to meet but a man upon his father's mare.Frank called out presently, Stop thief; and it being in the middle ofthe fair, it was impossible, you know, for the man to make his escape.So they apprehended him and carried him before the justice: I rememberit was Justice Willoughby, of Noyle, a very worthy good gentleman; andhe committed him to prison, and bound Frank in a recognisance, I thinkthey call it--a hard word compounded of _re_ and _cognosco_; but itdiffers in its meaning from the use of the simple, as many othercompounds do. Well, at last down came my Lord Justice Page to hold theassizes; and so the fellow was had up, and Frank was had up for awitness. To be sure, I shall never forget the face of the judge, whenhe began to ask him what he had to say against the prisoner. He madepoor Frank tremble and shake in his shoes. `Well you, fellow,' says mylord, `what have you to say? Don't stand humming and hawing, but speakout.' But, however, he soon turned altogether as civil to Frank, andbegan to thunder at the fellow; and when he asked him if he hadanything to say for himself, the fellow said, he had found the horse.`Ay!' answered the judge, `thou art a lucky fellow: I have travelledthe circuit these forty years, and never found a horse in my life: butI'll tell thee what, friend, thou wast more lucky than thou didst knowof; for thou didst not only find a horse, but a halter too, I promisethee.' To be sure, I shall never forget the word. Upon which everybodyfell a laughing, as how could they help it? Nay, and twenty
otherjests he made, which I can't remember now. There was something abouthis skill in horse-flesh which made all the folks laugh. To becertain, the judge must have been a very brave man, as well as a manof much learning. It is indeed charming sport to hear trials upon lifeand death. One thing I own I thought a little hard, that theprisoner's counsel was not suffered to speak for him, though hedesired only to be heard one very short word, but my lord would nothearken to him, though he suffered a counsellor to talk against himfor above half-an-hour. I thought it hard, I own, that there should beso many of them; my lord, and the court, and the jury, and thecounsellors, and the witnesses, all upon one poor man, and he too inchains. Well, the fellow was hanged, as to be sure it could be nootherwise, and poor Frank could never be easy about it. He never wasin the dark alone, but he fancied he saw the fellow's spirit."--"Well,and is this thy story?" cries Jones. "No, no," answered Partridge. "OLord have mercy upon me! I am just now coming to the matter; for onenight, coming from the alehouse, in a long, narrow, dark lane, therehe ran directly up against him; and the spirit was all in white, andfell upon Frank; and Frank, who was a sturdy lad, fell upon the spiritagain, and there they had a tussel together, and poor Frank wasdreadfully beat: indeed he made a shift at last to crawl home; butwhat with the beating, and what with the fright, he lay ill above afortnight; and all this is most certainly true, and the whole parishwill bear witness to it."
The stranger smiled at this story, and Jones burst into a loud fit oflaughter; upon which Partridge cried, "Ay, you may laugh, sir; and sodid some others, particularly a squire, who is thought to be no betterthan an atheist; who, forsooth, because there was a calf with a whiteface found dead in the same lane the next morning, would fain have itthat the battle was between Frank and that, as if a calf would setupon a man. Besides, Frank told me he knew it to be a spirit, andcould swear to him in any court in Christendom; and he had not drankabove a quart or two or such a matter of liquor, at the time. Lud havemercy upon us, and keep us all from dipping our hands in blood, Isay!"
"Well, sir," said Jones to the stranger, "Mr Partridge hath finishedhis story, and I hope will give you no future interruption, if youwill be so kind to proceed." He then resumed his narration; but as hehath taken breath for a while, we think proper to give it to ourreader, and shall therefore put an end to this chapter.
History of Tom Jones, a Foundling Page 100