“I do not give any man that which he does not deserve,” Gaidres said, though he knew that was not the answer Caelius likely wanted. “I have great respect for the care you show those who rely on you.”
“Gratitude.” Caelius sighed and looked like he might say more, then stopped, seeming to change his mind. “How was it in the market? Someone or another often has need of an escort into town. I would not send you, however, if it was not something you would favor. But if you would like…” He let the question trail off.
Gaidres’s brows furrowed. “It was strange. It had been years since last I went anywhere without a heavy guard or chains.” He thought about it and then shrugged. “I would sooner stay here and teach the little ones or train.”
“They are fond of you.”
“And I, them.”
Gaidres set down his goblet and reached for Caelius’s hand. It was smooth, not the hand of a man who worked hard. There were no calluses and scars like there were on his. Still, after coming to Caere, seeing Caelius most of the day instead of only when he called for him, he’d discovered that Caelius worked as hard as anyone else in the household to make sure everyone had what they needed. He was a bit blind to life perhaps, but he was neither lazy nor thoughtless. He let that soft hand go.
“What deep thoughts occupy your mind, my gladiator?” Caelius stepped closer to him with a curious light in his dark eyes.
Gaidres grinned at him and shook his head. He’d had enough of deep thoughts today. “Felix also told me of the havoc you caused here when you were young.”
He watched, delighted, as Caelius’s eyes widened and his cheeks became a trifle pink. “Did he? I am sure there were far more interesting things to discuss than my escapades. It is a wonder my father did not have me beaten.”
Gaidres chuckled as Caelius looked away from him. Here was a new side to the other man. “Surely you could not have been as bad as he claimed. Not that he went into any great detail.”
Caelius winced a little, casting him a sheepish, smiling look out of the corner of his eye. “I do not think he needed to…what did he say?” He looked as if half of him wanted to know while the other half was afraid to ask. It was the most amusing thing Gaidres had experienced in some time.
He crossed his arms over his chest, intending on enjoying this to the fullest. “Oh, he did not say much. He did, however, imply a great deal.” Gaidres laughed at Caelius’s expression and moved to stand in front of him. “Were you truly so wild a lad?”
Caelius shoved him, which only made Gaidres laugh more. “I am going to kill him, you know. And the fault will lie at your feet.”
He snorted. “Oh no, I’ll not be taking the blame. Now enough empty threats, tell me. I have visions of you running naked through these halls, pouncing the first ready man you see.”
Caelius closed his eyes while the color on his cheeks deepened. “You are not too far from the target.”
His jaw dropped. “But I was just jesting.”
He opened his eyes and shrugged. “I was curious and had not learned discretion yet. No, I did not run through the halls naked. That came later, after my father passed. I’ve had some rather notorious parties. My poor father. I was determined to seduce every man who caught my eye. Men of all ages. I was not afraid to experiment and my father had quite a few visitors.
“For the most part, I was not interested in those I had known most of my life, so the household was spared that. I did try, and failed to lure Felix in. But any other who stepped through those doors? Well, let us just say they were caught between me and my father’s displeasure.”
Gaidres had a flash of wicked eyes and beckoning lips. He knew just how devastating a look from Caelius could be. He groaned under his breath. “Now that would have been a sight to see.”
What was it about the man that made him so much of a temptation? Caelius was beautiful, yes, but many men were. He had spent the last years surrounded by men in the very best condition, the finest specimens. And while he’d slaked his lust with them, he’d never found himself drawn to them the way he was with Caelius.
He took a step forward, intending to take those smiling lips and see if he could coax forth a few more blushes, when a piercing wail echoed in the hall and Helene appeared with her arms full of red-faced, shrieking infant.
A second later, it was his arms full of wailing infant as she handed Faustus to him with a shake of her head.
“He will not eat. He will not sleep. He only cries.”
A heartbeat later the wails ceased and Faustus hiccupped, his splotchy little face relaxing. His eyes, so like his father’s, peered up with an expression that Gaidres would have sworn was satisfaction.
“What now? Got what you wanted, did you, my boy?” He chuckled. Faustus waved a hand at him and grasped Gaidres’s finger when it strayed too close.
Helene exhaled in relief. “Thank the gods.” She left the room, apparently eager to escape.
Gaidres glanced up to find Caelius watching him. He hesitated, taking a step forward. “Here.” He held the babe toward him. “My apologies, Dominus, she just…”
Caelius waved him off with a laugh. “I am learning that my son has a mind of his own. When he doesn’t get what he wants, he makes his displeasure known to all. He bonds with you.” Caelius’s voice took on a strange note. “As do many here in Caere.”
Gaidres looked sharply at him, but Caelius was eyeing his son with a tender, unguarded expression on his face. Caelius brushed his fingers over Faustus’s dark, sweat-damped wisps of hair and the baby gave one of his chirps, though it sounded sleepy. “Perhaps you would have better luck in getting him to sleep than Helene. Now that he is calmer, he must be weary from making all that noise.”
Gaidres studied the babe, torn between handing him off to Caelius and caring for Faustus himself. He’d not had opportunity to look after a child in years and he couldn’t bring himself to let go of him now. “Gratitude, Dominus.”
Caelius smiled and returned to the table with its pile of scrolls. Gaidres sat on the edge of the bed, bending his head close to look into wide, curious eyes. “Ah, little one, you do not know what you wish for, just like your father. I am not one to bond with. Do you hear me?”
Faustus only made an innocent, happy sound, ignoring the warning as he lifted another little hand to tug on Gaidres’s nose. Gaidres pretended to growl, making the babe coo and wiggle.
Gaidres glanced up again, unable to keep his gaze from Caelius. The other man sat, legs tucked up under him as he pored over one of his scrolls, a frown of concentration between his brows. Despite the frown, he looked content.
Was this what Caelius dreamed of? It seemed the other man was skilled at creating a world that did not, could not, exist outside these walls. And for whatever reason, he’d included Gaidres in the newest daydream.
Gaidres looked down to find Faustus sound asleep, thick lashes dusting soft, round cheeks and tiny fingers clutching one of his.
It was not a bad dream. But that was all it was. He could not forget that. Whatever fantasies Caelius spun in his head for how all could be righted and all could be well…Gaidres knew better. And eventually, so would he.
There were no walls high enough that Rome could not invade. One way or another.
Chapter Fourteen
“They’re outside the gates?” Caelius rubbed the bridge of his nose as Felix gave him a rueful look.
“My apologies, Dominus, but I believe that they received word of your plans to depart soon and they insist on seeing you.”
He despised Valeriana’s relations. They had filled her head with all kinds of notions even as they bartered her away to him. He’d known he wouldn’t be able to leave Caere without seeing them again, but he kept putting it off.
“Hold them off while I find Gaidres and then allow them in. I believe he’s in the eastern courtyard with the little ones.” He didn’t think they would attempt to slay him, but in truth, they would have guardianship of Faustus and control of his inh
eritance if something did happen. And that was a powerful motivator.
One look at his exasperating lover should give even the most zealous of Valeriana’s family pause. As Caelius hurried to the courtyard, his thoughts turned more to Gaidres than the upcoming confrontation. The past weeks had been both bittersweet and glorious. He didn’t want to leave but every time he thought Gaidres had become accustomed to his new freedom and that he might change his mind and want to stay, the gladiator would bring up Lupercalia and the need to train with his men.
It was disheartening. And Gaidres’s changing moods added to the frustration. One moment he would be tender, then angry, and other times distant. He had given up trying to predict the whims of the man’s mind and decided to take each moment as it came, to enjoy the pleasant ones and be patient during the others. He’d found that being patient worked far better than pestering Gaidres for answers he wouldn’t give.
As Caelius came around the corner, Gaidres glanced up. He straightened from where he’d been showing one of the younger boys how to grip the hilt of a small, wooden sword.
“Gaidres, I have need of you.”
The words were true. He had come to need the other man. He valued his counsel, his keen observations and craved the comfort of his arms. Passion and pleasure were one thing. What he was finding with Gaidres was something else.
Some of his concern must have showed, because Gaidres only nodded in acknowledgement before turning to the youngsters. “Practice what I showed you, and no trying to slay each other…Nerva.” He gave the lad a pointed look, then ruffled his hair before turning back to Caelius.
“This way.” Caelius gestured back toward the courtyard, thinking of Felix facing Valeriana’s family on his own. Felix could handle it. Caelius had never known anyone so even-tempered.
Gaidres followed him, brows furrowing. “Is something wrong?”
Caelius glanced over at him, then sighed. “Valeriana’s family is here. Her father and brother. They are…much like my wife was, only far more grasping.”
Gaidres hurried his steps, forcing him to scramble to keep up. As his lover entered the front hall, his eyes sought out the slave Felix had left behind to await their return. Caelius signaled to her and she slipped away to let Felix know that he wasn’t alone anymore.
“Dominus.” Gaidres glanced to the open doorway. “Shall I remove them?”
“Ah, you tempt me, Gaidres, but I suppose that would be cowardice on my part.” Caelius sighed. “And I would say yes if I did not think they would just be back again. I’ve postponed this unpleasantness too long and I would not have them harass my people when I am not here.”
“What do they seek?” Gaidres frowned.
“Money, my support in their trade ventures, slaves to toil in their homes after they wear their own out.” Caelius shook his head. “I have given them quite a bit of money over the years and supported the trade that wasn’t foolhardy. I don’t mind being generous, but I detest seeing my gifts squandered.”
“Where is Faustus?” Gaidres’s hand tightened on his sword and Caelius was not surprised to see how protective Gaidres was of his son. He spent almost as much time with Faustus as Caelius did. “They won’t try to use him as leverage, would they?”
“Helene will see to it that he stays safe with her until they are gone. She knows my feelings regarding them.” The sound of footsteps and murmured words neared the room and Caelius smoothed his expression. “They’ll use the blood tie to try to force more concessions, but I do not see how else they can use Faustus.”
Two men appeared in the doorway ahead of Felix, and Caelius stepped forward to greet them. “Varius,” he greeted the older man with heavy jowls and a receding hairline. “What brings you and Avitus? I thought I made myself plain when we last spoke at Valeriana’s funeral.”
It still angered him that the men would use such an occasion to further their greed.
Caelius sensed Gaidres right behind him with bared sword in hand. He should have thought to have Gaidres sheathe it before coming here. Varius’s brows shot up at the sight of his guard.
“Such a harsh greeting for family, Caelius. Surely you would share a cup of wine with us to discuss matters?”
Caelius glanced at Gaidres, then shook his head. “There are no matters left to discuss, Varius. As I said, I plan to continue providing my support for your trade endeavors, those I find prosperous, but nothing more.”
He sensed Gaidres’s tension at the look of fury that flashed across the old man’s face before he managed to mask it. That same, hateful expression had been on Valeriana’s face too often for his tastes.
Avitus, her brother, took a step forward and Gaidres did, as well, putting himself slightly in front of Caelius as if daring the young man to make an attempt. Instead, Avitus had the intelligence to back down, gesturing angrily instead.
“You know of our state, Caelius. Valeriana would have insisted on giving aid. How can you dishonor her memory so soon after she was stolen from us all?”
Caelius laid a hand on Gaidres’s arm and Gaidres fell back to position just behind his left shoulder. “Your state is no longer my concern, Avitus. In truth, it never was. What I did for you I did out of kindness for my wife. But you press too far. Surely you did not think I intended to supplement your incomes forever?”
Caelius was surprised by the anger he sensed seething in Gaidres. He had not expected such an outright defense unless one of them actually tried something. But his lover had bristled from the moment Caelius had told him of the situation.
“You will ruin us!” Avitus tensed as if to move forward, though another glance at Gaidres seemed to disabuse him of the idea.
“No, you ruin yourselves. The money and goods I gave you when I took your daughter as my wife should have been enough to see to you for a very long time. I’ve given you other gifts over the years, as well, and allowed Valeriana to give more.”
Varius sneered at Gaidres and stepped forward to stab his finger toward Caelius’s face. Whatever he had been going to say was lost in a cry of pain as Gaidres grabbed that finger and used it to leverage Varius back several feet before releasing him.
“Shall I see them gone now, Dominus?”
“Call off your guard!” Avitus shouted, reaching for the dagger at his waist.
“I wouldn’t do that.” The implied threat to his lover infuriated him. “He’s more than skilled enough to take the both of you out if you press him. Gaidres’s place is at my side, always. You would do well to remember that.”
Varius’s face was white, pinched with pain, and he gestured to Avitus, who let go of the dagger. He wet his lips and peered over Gaidres’s shoulder as if he could forget the man standing between them with a naked sword in his hand. “Caelius…please…we share blood. You have my daughter’s son. How can I trust that you’ll care for him after you failed to care for her?”
“You poisoned Valeriana. I’ll not allow you to poison my son. There will be no contact. Never. Not even if I die. I’ll see to it that you have nothing if something unexpected were to happen to me.”
Avitus snarled and strode forward. And that seemed to spark the end of Gaidres’s patience. He did not just block him this time. He caught him by his collar and hauled him up on to his toes so they were face-to-face. “Leave this house,” he growled, eyes darting to Varius, as well. “Leave and do not come back.”
Varius’s eyes grew huge and he sputtered. “You…you have no right!”
Gaidres shoved Avitus toward his father and began to move forward with crowding steps that forced them backward even as they continued to protest. “Caelius has made his position clear.” He glanced back at Caelius. “A moment while I escort them out, Dominus.”
He nodded and Gaidres caught both men by the back of their tunics and propelled them out the door. Curious, he followed close enough to watch and listen. Before Gaidres released them, he leaned down to give both a hard, dangerous look.
“Return to this place, threaten Caeli
us, threaten Faustus or any other within these walls and know that the next time I will not escort you to the gate. I will deliver you to your daughter’s side in the afterlife. Even if it means I take you there myself. These people are under my protection now and I do not take lightly your unspoken threats. Keep that thought in your small heads.” He gave them both a shove and they scurried away as the gates shut behind them.
Gaidres turned to find Caelius watching, and his lover’s jaw flexed. “They will not return, Dominus.”
Caelius tilted his head, trying to find words that would not come. All of his anger had disappeared in the face of Gaidres’s protectiveness. Gaidres hadn’t feigned that fury, and it filled Caelius with even more confusion. “I…I thank you, Gaidres.”
Gaidres stepped forward, laying his hand on Caelius’s arm. “They’ll not hurt you, nor Faustus. I swear it, Caelius. I won’t let them.”
He stared down at Gaidres’s hand, his throat working as all of Gaidres’s strange behavior this last month began to make sense. Gaidres cared. He cared deeply and was fighting it as much as he could. It could not be easy for him. The guilt had to be eating at him and Caelius’s heart went out to him even as it swelled with joy at the knowledge that he had at least a part of his gladiator’s heart.
He vowed to be far more patient from now on. If Gaidres had already unconsciously taken this step, more would follow. Caelius only had to give him the time to heal. Surely, by the time the Lupercalia came around, he would not seek death with such ardor anymore. All he could do was pray to the gods that was so and wait.
“I know you won’t let anything happen.” He looked at Gaidres. “I trust you, not just with my life, but with my son’s, as well.”
Gaidres looked stunned by that and tried to cover it by glancing toward the gate. “Would you like me to escort them a ways down the road, to be sure they are gone? I do not trust that they would not turn back and attempt another audience with you.”
“No, I do not think they’ll be returning. And if they do, it won’t be today. We’ll be leaving for Fidena in the morning.” Even that reminder could not dampen Caelius’s happiness. “I’ll make sure the guards here are aware that Valeriana’s family is banned.”
The Gladiator’s Master Page 18