“I hope you being careful when you driving up here, ‘cause if a nigga find out you got this shit up in here, he gon’ buss yo muthafucking head with the quickness,” Bam mumbled, as we walked through the hotel lobby.
“I know that, Bam, I’m not stupid. I learned how to watch my back in these streets a long time ago,” I replied.
“I guess that’s why yo’ ass had a black eye the last time I seen you before you got clean,” Bam said.
“Fuck you,” is all I could come up with as I pushed the elevator button.
When we reached the ninth floor and stepped out, both of our phones rang simultaneously. It was Snake on my end.
“Hello?”
“Come see me,” Snake said.
“Okay, same thing?” I said, making sure I knew what to bring.
“Yeah.”
Snake’s grimy ass was my best customer, but I still didn’t trust him no further than I could throw him.
“Bam, I need you to go with me to see Snake,” I said.
“Bitch, I can’t always be your bodyguard. I got other shit to do.”
His respect level for me never changed, even after I’d brought him back to life financially.
“Why I always gotta be a bitch? Can I just be Roxanne?”
He thought it over.
“You know what? You right, I’ma take it easy on you. From now on,, I’ma call you Roxanne,” he agreed.
“Thank you,” I purred, smiling hard.
We went inside the room and Bam went in his back and pulled out a gun. I should’ve seen this coming, I thought.
“Here, take this with you,” he said, handing me the compact gun with a heavy handle.
My heart rate slowly began to decrease.
“Oh,” I said without thinking.
“Bitch, what you mean, oh?”
“Bam!”
“My bad. But what you mean oh? If I was that grimy, I would’ve been slumped yo’ ass weeks ago.”
“No, I didn’t mean… I was just… I’m sorry,” I finally managed.
“Whatever. You hold on to that and start taking it with you everywhere you go,” he ordered.
The white shirt I was wearing wasn’t exactly concealing the gun, but my coat would cover it. I had the drugs hid inside a hole I’d cut in the bottom of the hotel mattress. I needed to know there was no way housekeeping or anyone else would just find it, unless they were looking for it.
“You’re right, though. I can’t keep having you babysit me and I can’t keep following you around like a lost puppy,” I said, as I place a hole kilo on the table. “Take this and call me when you have some money for me.”
“Okay, bet,” Bam said, as he went his pocket and handed me nine thousand up front.
“Cool.”
“Don’t stay in this hotel room too much longer. If they see you keep running in and out the way you are, they might get suspicious,” he warned.
Bam always kept me on my toes and I loved that about him. My dingy ass would get the whole operation shut down, without someone like him watching over me.
“I guess you right,” I replied.
“I’m outta here, I’ll call you.”
“Okay.”
Now, if Bam just up and decided one day not to pay me, my whole world would crumble, but I realized I had no one else I could trust. I had to believe he’d do right by me. Without Bam, this whole high-risk plan I had wasn’t going to work anyway.
****
I met up with Snake at the McDonald’s. I know it wasn’t the most low-key spot in the world, but that’s where he wanted to meet. The coke was on the floor between my legs in a shopping bag. We made the exchange.
“Is this all of it?” I asked, knowing Snake was true to his name.
First he grabbed the package and tucked it away.
“That’s fourteen,” he revealed. “I’ll have the rest tomorrow.”
“Fourteen? Come on, Snake, why you always trying to play me?” I accused.
“Man, I said I’ma pay you tomorrow, quit crying.”
I knew I should’ve bought Bam with me.
“But I know you got it now, Snake, and this is not how you do business and you know that.”
He opened the door and prepared to leave.
“I’ma pay you tomorrow, Roxanne. All the money I spend with you and you tripping about that lil’ shit?”
Before I could respond, he got out and closed the door. Even though I had a gun, I was way too afraid to use it or even threaten that I would use it. I rolled down the passenger side window.
“I’m gonna be calling your ass first thing in the morning. And next time, it’s all cash on delivery,” I yelled at his back, but he never turned around or acknowledge my words.
So, now I had a total fifteen thousand dollars out in the streets and if one of the two people didn’t pay me, I would have to leave town or something to keep away from Amir. I wasn’t convinced that Amir cared enough about me to take that kind of loss on the chin. Leaving Snake I drove to my mom’s house, not knowing what to expect from her. I really just wanted to see Nike for a minute, grab some clothes and then go see Amir, but soon as I arrived, I felt like I was being attacked as I walked through the door.
“Give me my gotdamn keys right now!” Mom shouted.
Her eyes held fire inside and her fists were balled up.
“What? Why… what did I do?”
“What didn’t you do? I should’ve never let you come here in the first place.”
“Mom, what did I do?”
“Give me the keys, Roxanne. Just give ‘em to me right now!” she repeated.
“Okay here,” I said, handing them over. “Now can you tell me what I did?”
“You think I don’t know what you’re doing? Coming in here with all these fancy clothes and flashing money? No man is giving you all this stuff just because… you’re out here tricking again,” she said. “You might be selling it at a much higher price this time, but it’s still the same thing.”
I had to laugh out loud, I just couldn’t contain it. My mom thought I was hoeing again to get money.
“Mom, you really have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know you’re tricking and you’re probably back getting high too,” she said.
“I haven’t got high, not one time since I’ve been home from rehab and I’m not tricking, Mom, I swear on Nike.”
“You’ve been lying your whole life and nothing will make me believe what you say,” she lashed out, getting all in my face. “I told you to get a job or you had to leave and you didn’t listen.”
“Mom, I have a job. I work at a cell phone store,” I lied, proving her point.
“That’s bullshit and you know it!”
“No it’s not.”
“Pack your things, Roxanne, I want you out of my house by tomorrow.”
“But where am I supposed to go?”
“Move in with your rich boy pimp, or whatever he is to you. Or take some of that money you seem to always have and go get yourself a place. I don’t care what you do, as long as you’re out of my house by tomorrow. I’ve helped you all I can, Roxanne, and now I have to do what’s best for Nike.” The more she talked and the more it registered, I began to see she was right. I didn’t need to be there anymore. I was way too dangerous for them to be around at that point.
If Amir didn’t let me move in with him, I could afford my own place. I couldn’t allow myself to continue to make stupid decisions that would put my family in jeopardy.
“You’re right, Mom. Even though, I’m not doing none of the stuff you think I’m doing, you’re right about one thing. I shouldn’t be here. Keisha’s trial starts tomorrow and when I leave from court, I’ma come get all my things.”
With that said, she backed off and I slid past her into the bedroom to see Nike. I picked him up and his smile was so wide when he realized it was me. I smiled back, glad to know that the bond we shared was real. “Mama gotta leave you for a while,
but I’ll be back, I promise. I’ll be back to get you, I promise.”
By now his legs were strong enough to stand up with my help. I watched him stand up in his crib, rocking back and forth, trying to find balance as I held his arms. His eyes grew big, taking in the new experience and as I watched him my heart was saddened. I began to feel like I was putting Keisha over my son, but that wasn’t my intention. Anyway, it was too late to turn back now.
Chapter 20
The morning Keisha’s trial was supposed to start, I had to take a taxi to the courthouse. I arrived in the courtroom, just as the court clerk was calling Keisha’s case. She was dressed in her regular street clothes for the trial, just some simple blue jeans and a blue and black sweater. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was still beautiful, even with all the stress she was carrying around. The lawyer I’d hired stood beside the court-appointed attorney, and Keisha was to the left of them. My guy was a white dude in his mid-forties.
“Your Honor, my name is Alex Sagataw and I’ve been just recently retained to represent Ms. Merritt. At this time, I’d like to move for a motion to allow counsel proper time to confer with my client, regarding the details of this case.”
“How much time are you asking for, Mr. Sagataw?”
“Just a day or two, Your Honor.”
“Any objections?” the judge asked, staring at the prosecution.
“No, Your Honor.”
“I’ll see you all back here on Friday to start trial.”
Keisha looked over at me sitting in the back row and smiled. I gave her a little fist pump.
****
Leaving the courthouse, I ran into Keisha’s family outside, including her mom and her sister who kicked my ass. I didn’t know if I should run or speak to them, but before I could decide, they began to approach me. Her mother spoke.
“Roxanne, we heard about what you are doing for Keisha, and I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how thankful we are that she has a friend like you in her corner. I don’t know what changed in you, but I’m glad God wasn’t done using you,” she said, holding my hand between her hands.
“Well, I just want to apologize for all the other stuff, you know? I’m back on track and I’m getting my life together, so I need my best friend out here with me,” I said.
“You look like you’re getting yourself together too. I’m proud of you, Roxanne.”
“Thank you.”
“Give me a hug,” she said. “I’ve been knowing you forever it feels like, and you’ve always been like a daughter to me,” she finished as we embraced.
Keisha’s sisters and brother stood by silently.
“Thank you,” I heard her big sister finally mumble.
“It’s the least I can do, I owe Keisha my life,” I explained.
I spotted Mr. Sagataw standing close by as if he were waiting to speak with me. I just knew he was about to ask me about some money, so I excused myself and went over to talk to him. I promised him I’d have some more money for him the day of the trial, and he seemed to have faith in me. I know Amir was mad I hadn’t spent much time with him, but after the fallout with my mom, I just needed some alone time to think and I wanted to spend as much time with Nike as I could, before I moved out all my stuff out.
When I called Amir to see if he’d come and pick me up, he didn’t answer but I wasn’t surprised. I called Bam and he came quickly.
“So what happened in court?” Bam asked, as soon as I got in his truck.
“Nothing really. The judge pushed the trial date back to Friday.”
As we rode, I called Snake to see if I could meet up with him early as possible. He didn’t answer, so I waited five minutes and called again, but he still didn’t pick up. I grew frustrated fast, thinking about how I needed to make some money to pay the lawyer, find a place to move and not to mention, I now needed transportation.
“I should’ve took you with me, Bam, I think this muthafucker trying to play me,” I vented.
“Who?”
“That dude, Snake,” I explained.
“What happened?”
“The muthafucker only gave me fourteen thousand and he still owes me five. He said he would have it tomorrow, but I know he had it then; he just didn’t want to give it to me. I’m calling him now and he’s not answering.”
“Let’s go see what’s up with him, you know I gotcha back,” Bam said.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
We drove to the block where I first met up with Snake and I called his phone again, but still no answer. I didn’t have the gun Bam gave me; it was stuffed between some dirty clothes at my mom’s house. I knew Bam had his, so I felt protected as we parked down the street from his drug house. I had a gut feeling Snake didn’t plan on paying me, because he had been trying to get over on me since we started doing business. I was about to call his phone again, when his Navigator bent the corner and parked across the street from his spot. Bam shifted into drive, drove down the block and pulled up alongside Snake. He was sitting inside his truck laughing and talking on the phone, not really watching his back like he should’ve been.
When he became aware of the truck sitting right beside him, I rolled my window down.
“What’s up, can I get that?” I said, trying to sound like a gangsta.
“What?” Snake said, with his face frowned up.
“I said, can I get that?” I repeated.
Before he could respond, Bam went all bully on him. “Pay up, nigga, you know what you owe. Play time is over!” he barked.
“What? Nigga I was gon’ pay that bitch before the day was over. Don’t come on my block with that fuck shit,” Snake replied with attitude.
“So why you not answering my phone calls?” I asked.
“Who the fuck is you, Roxanne? I’ll answer your crackhead ass when I’m ready,” Snake shouted.
Bam slammed the truck in park and hopped out, leaving it sitting in the middle of the street. His pistol was out before I knew it. “Oh shit,” I mumbled. “Bam, just wait a minute. Snake, I’m not trying to come at you like that, but I need the money,” I pleaded, as Bam continued around the front bumper.
I don’t know if it was the sight of the gun as Bam approached him or the look in his eyes, but Snake changed his tone.
“Tell your goon to get back in his whip, I got your money,” Snake said, with an even grin calmly as he dug in his pocket.
“Please get back in the truck, Bam,” I begged.
I didn’t wanna be responsible for a homicide today. Bam reluctantly started walking backwards towards the driver’s side still watching Snake closely. Snake leaned out of the window and handed me a stack of money, mostly hundreds and fifties.
“Count that shit,” he said, as he and Bam exchanged cold stares from the behind the wheel.
I counted super-fast so we could hurry up and go.
“It’s all there,” I said, when I was done.
The look that Snake gave me as we pulled out gave me such an eerie feeling. I knew this little misunderstanding wasn’t over.
From there, Bam took me to Avis to get a rental car. I got a late model Lincoln that was kinda big for me, but I liked the light tint on the widows. Before we parted ways, he paid me the rest of the money he owed and then made me promise to put the money up right then and go get my gun. I called Amir again and he still didn’t answer. There more I thought about it, I decided against asking Amir to move in with him. I knew he probably had a real girlfriend tucked away somewhere, and I was just the side chick. There were plenty of times he didn’t answer the phone for hours at a time, and I wasn’t sure whose apartment that was we always chilled at.
I stopped at the store to grab a newspaper, then I drove to my mom’s house to finish packing my things. My mom was standing in the door when I arrived, looking at the rental car as if it proved her case or something. We didn’t speak the entire time I was there. I wished I could explain to her exactly what was going on, but that would
only make matters worse. She’d never believe I wasn’t doing this for my own selfish needs. Moving out of my mom’s house almost guaranteed that I’d end up selling drugs longer than I intended, but I couldn’t think about all of that now. I had to keep going.
I arrived at the hotel and I remembered tomorrow was the last day I’d paid for the hotel, so I’d have to leave or pay up some more money in a couple days.
My phone rang and it was a number I didn’t recognize.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey, where you at?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s your sister, who do it sound like?” Carrie said.
“Oh, I didn’t catch it the first time.”
“Whatever. Where you at?”
“I’m actually at a hotel right now. Mom put me out.”
Surprisingly, Carrie hadn’t asked me for anything since I gave her the money for helping me find Bam. I just knew she was about to hit me up for some cash, but I was wrong.
“I got somebody here that wanna talk to you, hold on,” Carrie said.
Seconds later, a woman came over the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hello? This is Lisa Person, do you remember me?” the woman asked.
It took a second to refresh my memory because of all the fried brain cells.
“Oh yeah, I remember you. We went high school together,” I said.
“Right…yeah, but I need you to come and holla at me. This is about some business.”
“Where are you?” I asked.
“I’m on Cherry Street where your sister be at,” she replied.
I remembered Lisa being a small-time hustler off and on after high school. She used to get drugs from her boyfriend, Big Poppa, and I knew he was still around somewhere. If she was trying to get with me, it was probably for him. Word was starting to get around that I was really doing it and that was perfect timing, because I didn’t think Snake and I would be doing business much longer.
When I made it to Cherry Street, I called Lisa and she told me to pull up behind her silver F-150 pickup. I parked, got out my car and got in with her. She had a Hermès bag that took up the whole passenger seat, but she grabbed it and placed it in her lap so I could have a seat.
Roxanne: From Addict to Hustler Page 17