She smiled, proud because she knew this accomplishment was partly hers to claim. Someone squeezed her hand. She looked beside her, and saw Shawn standing there, with the same proud smile on his face. She flinched, but his hand on hers was steady and warm.
She studied him as he studied the landscape. His eyes were a bright blue that matched the sky, framed by long lashes. She had never noticed his eyelashes before. His face was tanned and smooth, free from imperfections. He had a strong, square jaw, and when he smiled, his teeth showed two rows of perfect, gleaming white teeth. She held back a strong impulse to kiss him.
The world continued to move before them in vibrant colors, blanketed by clear, fresh air, and adorned by pristine flowing waters. The pair of them stood on top of the hill, admiring their kingdom. Shawn turned and motioned for her to look behind them. She did.
The valley behind them was filled with dead bodies, many half burnt. The stink of scorched human flesh filled her nostrils. The blood ran bright, just as vibrant as the red leaves in the mountain trees. Dead mothers clutched their children, frozen stiff in the terror of their last moment. Severed body parts littered the mass grave, which had no ending in site. She looked left and right, far out in front of her, and the bodies just continued.
"Our gift to the world." Shawn said, squeezing her hand tightly.
She smiled. "It's beautiful, Shawn."
* * *
I woke up, sweating, with Alex leaning over me. From the sting on my cheek I was almost positive he had slapped me.
“Are you ok? Kaitlyn! Can you hear me?” he yelled.
“Yes, yes. The whole damn Chakra can hear you.” I propped myself up and rubbed my cheek.
The smell of something burning was still with me. I turned to look at the headboard behind me, "Oh my God." The dream catcher was singed. All the twine blackened or gone, the falagmite had fallen and was scattered around my bed. Nothing but stem was left of the owl feathers.
My heart started to pound. "The baby was tied to this. Get the doctor, quick! I need to check on her!"
Alex raced out the door and down the hall to the doctor’s room. By the time the doctor had been shaken awake, I was making my way to the lab and his machines. I turned on the fluorescent lights, undeterred by my temporary blindness and stumbled around, hands in front of me, turning on every machine I came across. The room whirred to life.
Alex pushed the doctor into the lab, making the man stumble as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
The doctor blinked, looking at me. "What happened?"
"I need you to check on the baby. Heartbeat, size, and do another ultrasound. I need to see her."
I was starting to hyperventilate. Why would I do something so stupid? Binding the baby to something that was under constant attack?
"Oh, God." I slumped to the floor, hugging my knees.
"Calm down, Kaitlyn." The doctor pulled me upright and led me to his table. "Lay down and take deep breaths. Alex – come hold her hand while I prep."
Alex loomed over me, his familiar face helped ground me. "I'm sorry, Kaitlyn. It was my suggestion to use the baby. I shouldn't have said it."
I shook my head. "We were both being stupid. I have a long way to go before I hit my stride as a mother." I looked at the doctor. "What’s taking so long?"
He turned from where he stood at the sink washing his hands to glare at me. He dried his hands, slowly, then pushed the ultrasound machine toward the table, turning off a variety of machines, including a blender, that I had turned on in my panic. "I don't think we'll be needing this today."
After a thorough examination, the doctor announced everything was fine. The baby kicked hard, right into my kidney as if to agree. I rubbed my belly. "I'm sorry, Peanut. No more adventures for you. From now on we play it nice and safe."
I looked at Alex with one eyebrow raised, forcing a nod of agreement out of him. The doctor gave us both something close to a glare, excusing himself for the night.
“What time is it?” I squinted at a clock hanging high on the wall on the other side of the room.
“Four-thirty.”
I shook my head. “I can’t go back to sleep. That was too close.”
“I know. Do you wanna try contacting Micah? Susan said you may want to send him your dreams.”
“Maybe.” I looked down, playing with the hem of my nightgown. “I’m not sure if I want to share this one. I don’t know what good it would do.”
“Well, let’s go get some breakfast and think about it.”
“Pancakes and hash browns?” My eyes lit up.
He laughed. “Whatever momma wants momma gets.”
By dawn, we had decided on completing the athame absorption right away, without contacting Micah. I felt a little guilty, letting almost a month go by without speaking to him even though I had the means. Alex checked in with them occasionally but I always found a convenient excuse to avoid being present.
We seated ourselves in the living room, clearing a large space of furniture. The doctor sat on one side of the room, as Alex insisted he be present. He had me tethered to his equipment in order to monitor the baby’s heartbeat, my pulse, and my blood pressure. It was all very high tech compared to the equipment I brought; a bowl of salt, a bowl of water, incense, and a candle.
“Okay.” Alex laid the rolled-up blanket out in front of us. “Let’s just take this one small step at a time.”
I could see the doctor lean forward anxiously out of the corner of my eyes and I huffed in annoyance.
Alex slowly unrolled the blanket revealing Shawn’s athame. I held my breath slightly, anticipating an icy chill to rush over me but nothing happened. I studied it closer, never before having the chance. It looked older than I thought; aged well past Shawn’s years. Spots on the black handle were worn thin enough to reveal the wood underneath.
Satisfied that we were as prepared as we were going to get, at least without any boy scouts present, Alex handed me the knife, handle first. I gripped it without hesitation, anxious to show the knife who was in control. It didn’t disagree, so I had that going for me.
I chanted a spell I found in one of the books, “I consecrate you, my athame, with Earth, that you may provide me with the protection of The Great Mother." I waved the knife over the dish of salt three times.
“I consecrate you, my athame, with Air that you may provide me with knowledge of infinite places." Next I waved it through the incense smoke three times.
"I consecrate you, my athame with Fire, so that I may be empowered with the strength of the Fire that burns in the core of the Earth." I passed the athame over the lit candle three times.
“I consecrate you, my athame with Water so that understanding and wisdom of great mysteries will be mine." I passed the athame three times over the bowl of water.
I finished the ceremony, declaring, "I consecrate this athame with Spirit so it may hold my magical energy.”
Everyone in the room grew silent. I raised my eyebrows at Alex as if to ask him if he were ready. He nodded his head once. With as much strength and force as I could muster, I thrust the knife upward into the air and cried out, “Now share with me your magical energy!” I felt the knife quiver and jolt in my hand. I immediately touched the flat side of the blade to my forehead and nose.
My body seemed to separate into two pieces. A part of me fell forward into Alex’s arms, the unconscious part, and a part over which I had no control. The other part fell backwards, and didn’t stop at the floor. I kept falling back until the light from above disappeared and was replaced by a cavernous black of nothing but empty space. I flailed my arms and legs, trying to slow my fall. Nothing seemed to work, I couldn’t even call upon the elements. It was as though they couldn’t hear me. I fell until I lost track of time. It wasn’t until I had accepted my fate and even embraced it by forcing my body into a dive, willing myself to take control simply by letting go, that a deep pool of crystal clear water rushed up to meet me.
Soon after splashing
in, I began my frantic swim to the surface, hurrying before my lungs demanded air. I broke the surface, gasping. Panting, I tried to take in my surroundings, my efforts impeded by the splashing and loud conversations of a multitude of women surrounding me. They weren’t women in their physical form, but rather representations of women. Their personalities and characters were present in gaseous form, sometimes taking on solid attributes but mostly not. Each personality struggled amongst each other to be heard, fighting in the large cave, crawling up stairs carved into the side. I followed their gazes upward and saw a small platform at the top, jutting out over the pool. One woman stood there alone. She possessed the strongest personality and was exerting her will over my physical body, long since separated from where I was now. When I concentrated, I could actually hear her having a conversation with Alex. She constantly struggled to maintain her position on the ledge, fighting back the other personalities. Finally she was overpowered and thrown from the ledge. She came splashing down in the water dangerously close to me. She immediately resurfaced and began climbing her way back up the stairs. The next closest to the ledge took her position and this one didn’t bother to talk. Instead she pulled cords away from my arms and chest and ran, fleeing from Alex.
The shift of consciousness sparked a mad frenzy. Each personality saw their chance to be heard, to be real once again. I was shoved back down into the water amidst the struggle, pushed deeper and deeper until I thought there was no hope for return. Underneath, there were plenty of personalities as well; those that did not wish to be heard. They were timid, but not less powerful than those above. I swam over to a clear spot against the cave wall, taking a position next to one of the gaseous forms. Her face emerged, smiling, exuding a sense of calm. Next a hand formed and she reached out for mine. The physical connection joined us mentally. She saw who I was and what I was doing here.
I need air, I conveyed to her desperately.
No, she sent back. Breathe in, your body will remember.
I frowned, but had no choice nonetheless; the bodies above me were thick, impossible to fight through.
Giving into the fall helped, so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. Initially, I panicked at the water rushing into my body, but it ultimately gave my lungs a satisfied sense of life. I relaxed back against the cave wall. The being next to me communicated again. This is your body. Should you will it, you can have control once again. Encourage the cave to work with you. It will give you an advantage over all else.
I nodded my head.
Wait. She squeezed my hand tighter. Take my knowledge with you.
All at once my body tingled with energy starting at my hand and moving rapidly through my veins. I began to realize she was a former elemental, her specialty wind and air just like Vayu. I looked around and it dawned on me. They were all elementals or Gaias, probably those who had been touched by the knife. She released my hand and I felt the knowledge of air manipulation course through my brain as if it had been there all along.
I thanked her for her gift and began to make my way up to the surface, scaling the cave wall as I went. My lungs shifted back to breathing air with ease. By now most personalities were fighting their way up the stairs, their elements raging overhead and amongst them. Fireballs, windstorms, dust, and strong waves worked to take each other out. There was no way I was going to fight my way up the stairs, battling all those elements at once. I needed a different route; one that could approach the ledge undetected. I felt the cave wall shiver slightly, and a small grip emerged. I looked around but no one else seemed to notice. As soon as I grasped it another grip emerged a few feet above. I learned quickly, directing where each one was created. I made my way as fast as a pregnant rock climber could, before anyone noticed. They were all so focused on the stairs and the ledge it didn’t seem to matter.
I came to a lip in the wall that was there naturally. I hoisted myself onto it in order to plan out my next move. Above the lip, there was a hole in the wall big enough for a small person to squeeze through. I peered in but couldn’t tell how far it went back. Something shimmered, as if a gaseous form was retreating further back, out of my sight. I started to pursue it but was overcome with an eerie feeling that it should be left alone. I backed away, and almost fell off the lip doing so. A piece of the cave wall jutted out just in time for me to grab hold and pull myself to safety.
The feeling of unease was getting stronger and I quickly turned to face my goal. The ledge over which everyone fought was level with me, but still too far to jump to. I had to make this part quick; no mistakes. I put my hand against the wall and communicated my desire to the cave. Immediately a long but thin ridge emerged, all the way to just above my goal. I began to run, depending on the cave to give me more room on the ridge when I needed it. As I passed over it, the ridge behind me cracked apart and splashed into the water. My movements and the splashing began to attract attention. Personalities watched me, but I was too far out of their reach for them to do anything about it. The strongest character, still on the ledge, was concentrating on running from Alex.
Once close enough, I planted my strongest foot in front of me and took a diving leap at her. I knocked her off with such force that I almost went over myself. I turned, scrambling to get a grip on the slick ledge. The personalities on the stairs stilled in a moment of shock, then came to life as they realized I was at a disadvantage. Immediately I called upon the cave to help and a wall shot up all around the ledge, effectively blocking them out and throwing me just inside it. Once the wall was tall enough to give me peace of mind, I lifted my arms into the air. A blinding light greeted me, raising me up to join my consciousness with my physical body once again.
“Esther, listen to me. I’m not going to hurt you – I’m here to help.” Alex was on top of me, pinning me down with his weight.
“Alex, get off of me.”
He opened his eyes in surprise, then narrowed them as if he didn’t fully trust me. “Kaitlyn?”
“Yes, it’s me. Why are you talking to me like I’m a child?”
He hoisted himself up, then me, not quite releasing his grasp on my wrist. “Esther is a child, or was, from what I could gather. Probably one of the youngest Gaias we’ve ever had.”
“You knew her?”
“No, I think she was from somewhere in the 1800s, before electricity was invented. The lights inside the house scared her. Are you okay? What happened?”
I briefly retreated into the back of my mind to ensure the wall stayed strong and I wasn’t going to turn into someone else anytime soon. It was okay for now but they would figure out something else eventually.
“Did you absorb the knife’s energy?” Alex didn’t wait for me to answer the first question.
I brushed myself off and looked around. We were somewhere in the gardens. “Kind of, I think. I absorbed all of the personalities and some of the knowledge from each of the women the knife has touched. The information is there inside of me but I think it still has to be shared willingly.”
“So now you have a bunch of women trapped inside of you?” His forehead crinkled with confusion.
“Not really them, or their soul, but their essence. Which way is home?”
Alex pointed in one direction and I started walking. He followed.
“So why exactly are you suddenly inflicted with Multiple Personality Disorder?”
“I believe the PC term is Dissociative Identity Disorder.”
He rolled his eyes.
I continued, “It seems as though some of these personalities are anxious to have control; which makes sense seeing as how the athame represents strength, action and consciousness – or so the books say.” I stopped suddenly, causing Alex to bump into me. “Why women?”
“What?” He frowned.
“Why were there only women? The knife obviously touched Vayu, and probably other men as well.” I started to walk again, the Chakra now in sight.
Alex came up with some answers first. “Three possible explanations; on
e –maybe they only go in there when they die. Two – maybe Vayu and any other males were marked with a different instrument, or three – maybe the athame, being a male symbol, only absorbs female power. It could be its natural way of balancing itself out as you all claim the world does.”
I turned around and pinched his cheek. “Look at the big brains on Alex.”
He leaned back to escape my assault. “Look at the time. I promised Micah we’d call in today.” With the added emphasis, I got the distinct feeling I wasn’t getting out of it this time. I grumbled the rest of the way into the Chakra.
Chapter 22
Kilo-what?
Alex collected his radio equipment, the maps and notes I had been working on, and sat us both in the library, never losing sight of me. No chances to disappear on him this time. Still, it took him a good ten minutes of fiddling with the radio, trying to connect to the team. Just as I was getting ready to walk, citing the ten minute rule, the radio crackled to life sending Cato’s voice into the library. I swear the books stood up straighter and leaves on the large tree in the center of the room went just a little greener. His absence from the Chakra was more of an issue than I thought.
“This is Charlie Brown, we read you loud and clear Alpha Dog.” I detected a small hint of pride in the code names. No doubt Cato’s idea.
“Alpha Dog going secure, stand by.” Alex flipped another switch and a series of beeps mixed with static ensued. “Come in, Charlie Brown. Confirm you are secure.”
“Affirmative.”
Alex relaxed both his posture and his radio etiquette. “Where are you guys?”
Cato replied, “Southern Australia. We are getting some strong reactions to the elements here and have tracked Shawn to a local airport. He was departing but we were unable to find out where.”
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