by J. F. Krause
In less than 12 hours we had gone from being frightened individuals to being a self-helping, self-rescuing operation. I was really starting to feel exhausted. I decided that right now I was needed simply because I was a symbol of authority or something. The stress and responsibility was taking a toll, and if I kept it up I was going to collapse. That wouldn’t help the confidence we had gained today that we would be ok somehow. So I let Anna know I was going to take a short nap and to spread the word. If need be they should wake me. I went to the small theater to the left of the entrance and found a nice chair to curl up in. Thankfully I must have had pleasant dreams because I didn’t remember them.
Thursday
Lydia woke me. She was with Kevin and Anna. All I could think of was that something was wrong.
“Is everything ok?” I came awake instantly, which isn’t usually my norm.
“Absolutely. Everything is doing fine. It’s 6 AM and we thought you might want to get up and about and have some breakfast. We also thought we’d fill you in on things before the meeting.” Lydia was smiling. All three of them were.
“Yeah. I slept like I was in bed. Did you get to sleep some?”
“ Oh yes. Don’t worry about us. You’ll be happy to know that we found a newborn at Children’s Hospital. He was a little dehydrated, but we got there in time and he’s doing fine now. Jane’s with him. We also decided to try some of the nursery schools and found two toddlers. They were hungry and dirty, but they’re going to be fine too. We found one all the way down in Aliso Viejo.” Lydia had tears in her eyes as she told me this. We all did but with smiles.
“Everyone from Fullerton came over when the sun came up, but they’ll be going back after the meeting. People came in all night long. Not counting the four searchlight crew members, we now have twenty-one from Fullerton.” Kevin looked very proud right then and I noticed for the first time that he had red hair. He also had brown eyes and faded freckles.
“You need to name Baby Girl. Sorry about being so random here, but you’re her rescuer, and she needs a name so it’s up to you. Her last name is now Turner unless you know any different. And congratulations on a great job in Fullerton. Thank you, Lydia. I can’t begin to tell you how good this makes me feel.” Kevin looked a bit startled by the news he had to name Baby Girl, but he didn’t refuse.
“Ok, Anna, how are things in your bailiwick?”
“We’ve finished with all the original research items on the list as well as the list that was generated later. We’ve shared everything with the other groups and they are sharing their information with everyone too. The groups in LA County are asking if maybe we can all consolidate when we pick a location to move to. We’re also all getting drive-ins showing up because of Todd’s contacts. The latest ones came all the way from Needles. There were two, a man and his daughter, both adults. We’ve also made a run over to an office supply for more printer ink and more paper. We’ve had some more calls to 911. The group there just decided to sort of move in for a bit, but most of them will be here for the meeting. We’ve been picking up the callers who can’t drive. Todd says there are several other groups that have set up their own 911 operations now.”
“Wow! Thanks. Did everyone get a chance to sleep? Has anyone had breakfast? How are the kids?” I’m an introvert, and I usually don’t wake up ready for people; I need awhile before I’m ready to be out in public.
Lydia actually laughed. “You might also be interested to hear that we made contact with a group from Camp Pendleton. Marco came in to talk to them on the HAM and they will be joining us this morning. So far there are ten of them not including eight dependents: four kids, four wives. None of them are related.
None of us have had breakfast, but the food crew is cooking. They brought in a few propane fueled BBQs. Oh, and the kids are just waking up and asking for you. Jane wants to see you too.”
“Ok then. Let’s eat. I’ll stop in to see the kids before eating. Is anyone looking after them or is Jerry still riding herd?”
“There are a couple women helping them get cleaned up. Jerry and Chanelle are very helpful too. They now have new clothes straight from the store. We just need a little guidance since we can’t keep them all in that room much longer,” Lydia answered.
As we left the theatre area, the three of them headed to the front entrance in the direction of breakfast. I told them I’d be right with them and to ask everyone to come to the theatre for the meeting at 9. Then I headed to the kids’ area.
Jerry had Baby Girl on his lap combing her hair; Charlie had a wet cloth cleaning the face of a toddler I didn’t recognize; and Chanelle was rolling up a sleeping bag. As soon as I came in, all of them looked toward me expectantly. I felt like a teacher again, a teacher on the first day of class.
“I understand you guys have done a great job this morning. Thank you!” I looked first at Jerry and then all the older kids. They all smiled their acknowledgements along with a few “You’re welcomes!”
There were two adults in the room, and I thanked them as well. Taking care of children that aren’t your own takes a certain personality. Most of us feel our hearts warm a little when we see happy children, and we feel a bit of a heart tug when they’re hurting, but most teachers have something else going on when they are helping children learn or grow, or when they’re playing with them or comforting them. These women had a special knack for living and working with children. I was glad for them and for the kids. To top it off, one of them was actually a teacher.
“Is there a special plan for feeding the children?” I asked.
“No. We were just waiting for you.” Hearing one of the other adults say that to me almost broke my heart. The kids all looked at me as if I was going to make everything ok. I knew that was never going to happen again for them. How do you tell a bunch of children that their world has imploded. It was just breakfast, but somehow it was much more than that. Deciding to make sure taking care of the children didn’t depend on me making a simple decision, I asked the teacher, Ms. Mrozinski, if she would be willing to make the general decisions regarding the care and feeding of the children until we could set up a better system. She looked relieved which told me that she had been thinking along those lines already. I asked her to find some time every day to keep me in the loop. I also said that some of the children had already formed bonds with some of the adults. She was aware of that and would work with them as needed.
“Ok then. I’d like all the littlest children to sit with one of the older children when we get to our table.” I had been told we had a kids’ table and I hoped that would be the case. We didn’t have enough caregivers to waste the talents of the older children so they were being forced to grow up a little faster than I wanted, but for a few more days and maybe forever, we didn’t have any choice. We needed Jerry, Chanelle, Charlie, and even Chad to hold it together. I worried almost as much about the middle school kids, but right now they had to be adults. We didn’t have a choice.
It was a relief to see a kids’ table was waiting, and that Lydia, Kevin, Anna and Jane were already there and prepared to sit amongst the children. The two adult child care helpers each had one of the youngest children. Jane was holding the newborn, and Jerry still had Baby Girl. Somehow, we’d managed to find the names for all the children, including the newborn, but we never found anything to tell us who Baby Girl’s family was. I guessed that when her family drove to the hospital, they didn’t have time to strap her into a baby seat. When they arrived, her mom or dad must have been so concerned with dealing with the disease that she got separated from her family. When Kevin found her, she was crying and alone in the middle of a field of cars. Since there were no survivors around, her family must have perished as well. In my mind, Baby Girl was special because she brought home to me that there were a lot of babies with no one to take care of them. Time was running out.
I believe the kids enjoyed eating at their table together. We had scrambled eggs, toast, orange juice, milk, sausage, fruit, pota
toes, cereal, and muffins. I don’t think anyone had everything on the menu, but it goes to show how easy feeding ourselves was, at least for the time being. It also goes to show how much you can do if the stores are all open all night long and nothing costs anything.
All this time I was thinking that the courtyard between two wings of the building would be a good place for the kids to play, but we hadn’t sealed off yet and I was concerned about feral dogs and vermin. Then I remembered the very large room at the end of the south wing. I think it was used for receptions or banquets, but it could easily become a giant playpen. I also realized that sealing off the courtyard would be easy now that everything was available and free.
After suggesting to Ms. M, as we called Janet Mrozinski, that we let the kids play in the reception hall, I took a few minutes to set up a sort of dais in the theatre. It would hold about one hundred twenty people or so, and I thought it should be more than large enough for our meeting. Then I went back to the reception room with the children and watched the the play. Charlie came up and took my hand. Looking down at him I saw tears in his eyes. “I want my mom”, he said.
“I know. I want my mom too.” He hugged me and we both cried for a moment. Soon Jerry, Chanelle and several other children were hugging us and each other, all in tears. Everyone in the room seemed to be crying now. After all the work and stress we had a moment to take care of our own feelings of loss and debilitating grief. Somehow, when we needed to keep it together we had done what we needed to do for ourselves, for each other and for the kids. Right now, we needed to cry.
The meeting started on time with every seat filled, and then sone. Where had all the people come from? As I called the meeting to order, I asked if everyone had had a chance to check in and if anyone needed anything such as food or water. They all indicated that were fine. I noticed all the kids appeared to be present and dispersed among the group either in their own chair or on a lap. The two HAM operators each had a child on their laps. I almost teared up just over that. Oh boy, was I going to be able to keep it together for this meeting?
“I want to thank each of you for all you did yesterday and already today. We’re all depending on each other and I feel like I owe you for my life. While it’s on my mind, Marco, do we have anyone outside looking after things? Do you think we need anyone on patrol or something?”
“There are two people outside right now and every fifteen minutes we’re going to change out so everyone can be part of this meeting. Will that work?”
“Yes. Thank you.” I was becoming a little anxious about what I had to say, but I decided to just soldier on and get it said. “I don’t know whether to say this now or at the end of the meeting, but you need to hear it.” I could see a visible shift in the room, almost as if people were sitting up straighter and lifting their chins up in defiance.
“I’m not a leader, folks. I don’t want to be the boss, and I’m sorry I made myself out to be a know-it-all. I’m as scared as anyone here. I don’t know anything about surviving the end of the world…. Please accept my apology for anything I’ve done to hurt or offend any of you. I wasn’t planning to say anything yesterday, but … but we don’t even have to time to grieve until… until we’ve found everyone we can. I’m sorry. But right now, if we take time to hurt and to mourn, people will die. Maybe everything good that humanity has done will die, too. Yesterday, I listened to us tell our stories, those of us who found each other at the hospital, and all I could think of was that we had to get busy right now. Until I saw real people had survived, and I saw all the dead in the streets and in people’s houses, I didn’t realize what had already happened. It was already over, the dying part. And right then I realized that the surviving part was already starting and we didn’t have time to even talk about our pain.
I’m so sorry to be so bossy. I don’t think I will be any different just because I feel bad about being bossy; I don’t think I can be any different because I think the whole world almost died right before our eyes. Every single person is precious, precious in a way we’ve never experienced before. Older people are more important now than ever in my lifetime. Retirement isn’t an option because we need their experience and knowledge and vision. Younger people are important because we need their strength and flexibility and courage. Children are important because they’re resilient and can learn to live in this changed world better than we adults ever will. The world has changed for all of us. Not only because we all lost almost everyone we love and hold dear, but because we have no one to rely on except ourselves. No one is going to preserve the sciences and the arts and the collective memories of who we are and who we were unless we do it ourselves. We can do this, but that means we have to wait until another time to mourn and grieve and even to bury our dead.
Now you know how I feel, how important I think the next few days and weeks will be, so maybe you should choose someone who can help us get through this better than I can because I really don’t know what I’m doing. Is there someone who would like to speak to the group?” I expected a deluge of speakers just then, but instead, everyone looked at Lydia who stood up with her chest out and her head up.
“You are our leader because we want you to be. We know you don’t know what you’re doing. No one does. But you ask questions and you get our permission. Together we will get through this, and you understand that. You don’t need to apologize because no one who asks questions is a know-it-all, and certainly not a bully. I nominate Bobby Caldwell to be our leader. All in favor please stand.”
Through my tears I saw that everyone was standing. Most of them were crying right along with me. After a few seconds I stood too and the room erupted in cheers. That’s when I realized that they took my standing to be my acceptance of leadership of the group. That wasn’t my intention, but it was now my reality. I also noticed that our two guards were standing at the door and cheering along with the rest. Then they quietly slipped out to continue their watch outside. They had hand held radios. When did we get radios? Where did they come from?
“I’ll agree but only for six months. If we don’t have a better plan worked out by then, we need to find a new, better person to be the group leader. And if we have a plan by then, we still need to find a new, better person to take things from there. Thank you for your support. I truly hope you don’t regret your decision. I’m still scared, but I don’t feel like I’m being a bully anymore.” I was being serious, but they all laughed when I said that.
“I’d like to ask if anyone would like to take notes for us?”
Again, almost as if they all knew what I would ask and who it would be, they looked at Jane who stood and quietly said, “I’d be honored to take notes and anything else you would like me to do.”
“If there is no objection, Jane will take notes for us. Jane would you come to the table here and we’ll continue our meeting? I’m going to go over a list of things I’ve thought of that we need to do today. If you have suggestions, questions, or concerns please just raise your hand. If you haven’t noticed, we’re trying to follow Robert’s Rules. I know that’s a little formal, but we’re making pretty big decisions here. And to be honest, I still sort of expect the police to come and arrest us for trashing the Nixon Library.” That got a laugh, but I saw some heads nodding, too.
Jane sat down and started keeping notes. She already had a pen and paper and had a couple of sheets of paper filled with her handwriting so I guess the group was already ahead of me.
“Would you mind if we made a list of all our names along with our skills and interests? I’d also like to know where you might have relatives so we can see if any of our families survived and vice versa. I’m going to suggest that Jane get started doing that right after the meeting. Will that be okay with you, Jane? Any other suggestions?
We need a group that is officially taking care of our children and will make sure all their needs are looked after, things like toys, play areas, clean clothes, food, diapers, school, all the things that relate to the safety and wel
l-being of the kids. Right now, Janet Mrozinski is heading that up. Do I have any other volunteers? I see four hands. Will you start immediately after the meeting? Please give Jane you names after the meeting. I’ll leave it up to you how you organize yourselves. Any other suggestions? For the time being, I consider anyone 13 and over to be one of the adults so think of places to volunteer if you like. I’ll leave it up to the different groups whether any given job assignment is age appropriate.
Would a couple of you get some fencing and close off the courtyard between the two wings of the building. We may not be here very long so it doesn’t have to be too permanent, just enough to keep feral dogs at bay. Again, let Jane know you’re taking care of this.
We need a health and sanitation crew. This will include anyone with medical training as well as anyone willing to move the trash out of the area. Are there any interested takers? I see several hands so will each of you let Jane know you’re available for that crew or maybe crews?