by Fiona Lowe
Exactly how long are you going to kid yourself that feelings like this are from professional recognition?
She hummed to herself, drowning out the voice of reason. They worked together. Nothing could happen. She wouldn’t allow anything to happen. Not that she had to worry. If she was honest with herself, it was only a one-way attraction. All her way. She could kid herself that his bone-melting smiles were especially directed at her but she’d seen him smile at everyone in much the same way. Except for Sasha.
When he was with Sasha his aura of a wide personal space seemed to vanish. Lightness came into his eyes chasing away the gloom that sometimes hovered around him. It seemed crazy but she had this feeling that when he smiled at Sasha she was seeing the image of the man he had once been.
Since the night at the Guide Hall ten days ago, when she’d frostily refused to tell him about Hilary, he’d been slightly more aloof than before. That niggled at her. And it drove her mad that it did. She’d respected his silence and hadn’t asked him about Sasha’s mother. So why did he feel he could be grumpy with her when she kept her private life private, just like he did?
Yet at three o’clock in the morning she was often lying awake, listening to the hum of the air-conditioner and thinking about why Baden and Sasha were on their own.
Thinking about Baden.
About how it would feel to tangle her fingers in his thick black curls. How it would feel to explore golden skin stretched taut over toned muscle.
Suddenly her skin prickled with heat. She quickly exited the plane into a hot, dry wind. At least the forty-degree Celsius day was good for something! It hid the source of her being hot and bothered.
Baden’s long stride quickly caught her up but the wind prevented any conversation. As he opened the door into the offices for her, she breathed in deeply, deliberately catching his fresh and spicy scent.
Regret poured through her the moment she did it. ‘I’ll start on the proposal tonight. See you tomorrow.’ She turned toward her office, thankful to be able to put some physical space between herself and Baden and find some equilibrium for her jangled emotions.
He checked his watch. ‘Can I ask a favour? I got a ride here this morning from Jenkin’s Mechanics. Can you give me a ride back into town?’
Dismay filled her at the unexpected request. She wanted to say no. Baden in her small car was so much closer than Baden in the plane. But no wasn’t an option. She tried to sound casual. ‘Sure, no problem.’
‘Great, thanks. I’ll just grab some stuff from the office.’ He strode down the hall, the cotton twill of his trousers outlining the tightness of his buttocks.
Kate closed her eyes, refusing to stare, but the after-image burned brightly in her mind.
Five minutes later Baden folded his body into her sports car, appreciation and intrigue written clearly on his face. ‘I’ve always wanted a car like this.’ He ran his finger along the dashboard.
She grimaced. ‘It’s up for sale if you’re interested.’
‘Really?’ For a moment consideration crossed his face but it faded as quickly as it had come. ‘Sasha’s tennis team would have to ride on the roof. Pity, though. It must be fun to drive. Why are you selling it?’
Because getting rid of this car is part of my new life. ‘It’s not practical.’ She quickly reversed out of the parking space and pulled onto the road.
‘But no one buys a car like this out of practicality. Why did you buy it?’ He swivelled slightly in his seat, his attention completely focussed on her.
‘I didn’t buy it.’ Shane’s blotchy face hovered in her mind. Katie, baby, don’t leave me. Her fingers tightened on the steering-wheel. ‘It was a…’ Bribe. ‘It was a gift.’
He whistled. ‘Lucky you.’
‘That’s your opinion.’ The muttered words left her mouth before her brain had the sense to cut them off.
His black brows immediately rose, interest clearly etched on his handsome face.
The Jenkin’s Mechanics sign thankfully came into view and she pulled up onto the concrete apron. ‘Here we are.’
Baden opened the door. ‘Thanks for the ride.’
‘You’re welcome.’ She flicked the switch to open the boot so he could get his bag.
He climbed out of the car and paused, bending down to talk to her. ‘By the way, Jen asked me to remind you that the dinner for the new physiotherapist is going to be at the Royal.’ He inclined his head in the direction of the building across the road.
The newly furbished Royal Hotel was a popular place catering for the coffee and cake set through to discerning diners in the grand dining room. The sports bar with its many large plasma screens had been cleverly contained within a heritage façade. From the outside people glimpsed the Warragurra of old when silver had lined its streets and money had been no object. The renovation had been Shane’s last job with Kennedy Constructions.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw three men walk out of the back door of the hotel. Her chest tightened as she instantly recognised two of the men. The tallest of the three—Josh Martin—had been Shane’s closest mate, and the best man at their wedding.
A prickle of unease ran through her. She’d avoided this part of town since coming home. Every nerve ending screamed at her to leave. She turned on the ignition.
The noise of the car made Josh look up. His lip curled when he caught sight of her.
Leave now. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. She put the car into first gear.
Josh and the other man stepped onto the road, supporting Richie Santini, who stumbled, his gait unsteady. As they reached the middle of the road Richie slumped between them, falling against Josh and making him stagger.
A shiver of disgust ran through her. Richie was drunk again. Some things never changed. She willed them to move quickly across the road so she could get away.
‘Richie!’ Josh’s worried voice carried across the street. ‘Mate, come on, you’ll get run over.’
Kate expected Richie to stand up as Josh jolted him with his body. He didn’t. His colour had gone from florid to white to blue.
Hell, he was unconscious. Kate pushed her door open. ‘Baden!’ she called to him as his hand touched the doorhandle of the shop door. ‘Quick, over here.’ She ran toward the grass verge where Josh had laid Richie down.
Baden caught up to her, his medical bag in his hand.
‘Roll him on his side, Josh,’ Kate called out as she reached them.
Josh turned the moment he heard her voice, pure hatred lining his face. ‘Get away from here, Kate. You’ve done enough damage.’
His words pounded her like hailstones, but he couldn’t hurt her any more. No more than he and Shane had already. And another person didn’t deserve to die.
‘Don’t be stupid, Josh. I’m a nurse. I can help.’ She dropped to her knees to check Richie’s airway, the stench of stale alcohol almost making her retch.
Josh’s arm shot out from his side, striking her across the shoulder in an attempt to push her away.
She gasped, desperately trying to maintain her balance as pain and the past swamped her.
‘Step back from her. Now!’ Baden’s voice boomed out like a sergeant major establishing control. ‘I’m a doctor and I’m in charge.’ He pointed to the unknown man. ‘You. Restrain your mate before I flatten him.’
Through the fog of shock Kate realised the experienced triage doctor had just secured the scene.
‘Kate.’
He spoke her name with caring firmness, centring her. She swung around to face him as if he were a lifeline in a storm-ravaged sea.
His expression was neutral but his eyes swirled with eddies of fury tinged with disbelief. ‘Kate, call an ambulance.’ He tossed her his phone and immediately turned his attention to the patient, implementing what Kate had tried to do—assess the airway, check the breathing and the circulation.
She stood up and walked five steps away. With trembling fingers she managed to dial 000.
/> Josh took a step forward.
Kate stood her ground but her grip on the mobile phone threatened to crush it.
His mate put his hand on Josh’s shoulder. ‘Give them space to do their job, Josh.’
‘I am, Trev.’ Josh tried to shrug off his hand.
The dispatcher finally answered. ‘Police, fire or ambulance?’
‘Ambulance.’ She wanted the police but that would only make things worse.
Baden called out to her. ‘No pulse. Commencing CPR now.’
She nodded, indicating she’d heard him. The professional nurse kicked back in, corralling her shock and fear into a place to be dealt with later. ‘We have a collapsed patient with no pulse. Doctor in attendance and CPR commenced. We need a defibrillator.’
‘Hell, Richie.’ Josh’s voice cracked as Baden’s arms pushed against Richie’s chest, compressing his heart, attempting to get it pumping again.
Kate ended the call and knelt down next to Baden.
His firm voice counted the compressions. ‘Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.’
She blew two breaths through the Laerdal pocket mask into Richie’s mouth and checked for a pulse. ‘No pulse. Keep compressing.’ She strained her ears for the ambulance. ‘We need that defibrillator now.’
They established a rhythm, with Baden compressing and Kate giving the rescue breaths, but she knew how physical CPR was and how arms tired quickly. ‘Swap at thirty?’
Baden nodded, still counting, keeping the beat of thirty compressions to two breaths.
The swap had to be fluid. The recent guideline changes for CPR focussed on more compressions with fewer interruptions.
Kate started counting out loud. ‘Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty. Change.’ Her crossed hands immediately started compressions where Baden’s had been. Don’t die on me, Richie.
But she knew the reality. She’d seen his swollen ankles—unusual in a man in his mid-thirties. His heart muscle was saggy and overstretched, its capacity to start again severely compromised by a lifetime of binge drinking.
A small crowd had gathered, including Baden’s mechanic, Scott. All of them stood watching with a mixture of fascination and horror as a life hung in the balance.
‘Change of heart, Katie?’ Josh’s cruel voice exploded above her. ‘Saving Rich won’t make up for the fact you killed Shane.’
His words struck her as hard as a physical blow. Blood pooled in her feet, silver lights exploded in her head and she started to shake. Concentrate on the job.
She counted loudly, the words and the rhythm driving away her fear, allowing her wavering courage a chance to take hold.
‘Scott, get him out of here or I’m calling the police.’ Raging fury poured through Baden’s words. ‘This isn’t daytime TV drama.’
Kate heard the barely audible aside as he lowered his head to give Richie another rescue breath.
Except it was her past life unfolding in all its sordid detail in front of the one man she’d wanted to keep it from.
Five men surrounded Josh and guided him to one side as the ambulance screamed to a halt. The paramedic and an intern from the base hospital ran to them, carrying the portable defibrillator.
A flurry of hands worked on Richie. Kate kept compressing while the paramedics attached the monitor pads.
‘He’s in asystole.’ Michael, the doctor, interpreted the readout.
‘Shock him now,’ Baden instructed as he reached for the intravenous kit.
‘Stand clear.’ Michael discharged electrical current into Richie’s chest.
The monitor flatlined.
‘Resume compressions.’ Baden nodded to Kate. ‘Prepare for stacked shocks.’ He slid the butterfly cannula into Richie’s arm and drew up adrenaline. ‘I don’t have a good feeling about this.’
He wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. The odds were stacked against getting an exhausted heart muscle to start beating again.
‘Stand clear.’ Michael pressed the button and the pads delivered another shock to Richie’s chest.
All eyes focussed on the readout.
‘We’ve got a wobbly rhythm.’ Michael sounded uncertain.
‘Thank God.’ Kate’s softly spoken words came out on a breath. He had a second chance.
‘Yeah, but for how long?’ Baden’s bald words indicated the reality of the situation.
‘Let’s transfer him immediately. He needs every bit of expertise Coronary Care can provide.’ Michael nodded to the paramedic. ‘On my count.’
They lifted the heavy man onto the stretcher and transferred him into the rig. Michael clambered in to monitor Richie and his co-worker switched on the siren and drove them away.
Kate’s legs immediately started to shake, followed by her arms and then the rest of her body. Bile scalded her throat as she gulped in air, trying to still her heaving stomach.
She saw Josh being hustled away but not before he looked straight at her and used his arm to make an offensive gesture.
Baden’s strong arm curled around her, pulling her in close. ‘It’s over now, Kate.’ He spoke softly, his words comforting as his hand stroked her hair.
She needed to go, needed to leave this minute. She shouldn’t be standing here. She shouldn’t want to be in Baden’s arms, seeking shelter. She shouldn’t want to lay her head on his chest and close her eyes and forget. Forget everything except the touch of his body against hers, the rise and fall of his chest against her breasts and his heat flooding into rekindling sensations she’d long forgotten.
For one brief moment she gave in to temptation, resting her head on his shoulder, feeling the softness of his cotton shirt against her cheek and the hardness of the muscle underneath. Taking a sample to last her for ever.
She wrenched herself away. She had to go before he asked questions. Asked difficult questions she didn’t want to answer. ‘I have to go.’
His hand gripped her arm. ‘You’re not going anywhere without me.’
The firmness of his voice startled her. She looked up into navy eyes filled with a hard edge she didn’t recognise. Apprehension rippled through her. ‘I’m fine, really. I’ll make myself a cup of tea with loads of sugar.’ She forced a smile onto her face, hoping to placate him.
The flash in his eyes said he’d seen straight through her ploy. ‘It’s not just you I’m worried about. When your private life impinges on a patient’s well-being then it’s no longer private. We’re going somewhere quiet and you’re going to tell me what the hell is going on with you and this town.’
Panic clawed at her as Shane’s legacy reared again, determined to haunt her. She desperately tried to think of a way of avoiding this meeting. She opened her mouth to speak and closed it again.
Determination lined Baden’s face. He wouldn’t let her go until she agreed to his demand.
At that precise moment she knew she had no choice.
CHAPTER FOUR
BADEN sat on a wicker seat, sipping lemon, lime and bitters, under a thick green canopy of twining wisteria. He had the surreal feeling he’d stepped back in time.
He could feel a stream of cool air at his back, coming from inside the homestead’s thick russet and ochre stone walls. In front of him an unexpectedly green lawn sloped down toward the river and the magnificent red river gums. Hundreds of years old, one of their gnarled trunks looked as if it had regrown around the site where Aborigines had once carved a canoe.
Weeping peppercorn trees and towering jacarandas softened the harsh stone lines of the house and perfume from the extensive rose garden scented the early evening air. Visions wafted through his head—people chatting on the lawn, ladies promenading in white muslin dresses, men in suits, a jazz band playing and flappers doing the Charleston on the dock by the river. Their laughing voices echoed around him, memories of the jubilant celebrations of a successful wool clip in days long gone when the merino sheep had been gold on four legs.
He couldn’t believe Kate lived in t
he Sandon homestead, one of Warragurra’s eminent homes. A home with a round National Trust plaque at the front door and neatly beneath it a Kennedy Constructions historic brass renovation plate.
How had he not known she lived here? You never asked. He hadn’t wanted to ask, scared if he did so he’d become even more intrigued by her. Even so, he wasn’t certain Kate would have divulged the information freely.
She’d insisted that the only place she would talk to him was at her home. And what a home it was. He remembered Annie showing him an article and photographs from a lifestyle magazine about the house and the million-dollar renovation. It had been around the time they’d first discussed moving to Warragurra. He’d joked at the time that he’d buy it for her if it ever came on the market.
But Annie had never made it to Warragurra or to Sandon homestead. Her illness-ravaged body had succumbed before the final plans had been in place. A twinge of guilt tugged at him that he was here now and that the woman in front of him intrigued him and filled his dreams.
Kate sat opposite him, wound as tight as a drum, with waves of tension rolling off her.
His anger and disgust at the events of the afternoon had abated but the sensation of holding Kate in his arms, her breasts pressed firmly against his chest, the silky feeling of her hair under his fingers, had stayed strong.
Too strong. Too vivid.
When he’d pulled her into his arms he hadn’t thought, he’d just acted. She’d looked like she had been about to faint on the pavement. Holding her had been the most natural thing in the world. But want had quickly drowned empathy as her heat had flowed into him.
He hadn’t held a woman for two years. He hadn’t wanted to hold a woman in that time. Not until today. The guilt dug in deeper as his hazy memory tried valiantly to recall Annie’s feel and touch. It came up blank against the vivid feel of Kate.
He ran his hand across the back of his neck. Now wasn’t the time to be changing his game plan—his top priority had to be Sasha. That meant keeping his distance from Kate. This was work and the only reason he was here was to find out what the hell was going on in this town.