by Fiona Lowe
A sigh shuddered from his lungs. He’d been a total fool. Seducing a friend wasn’t part of the friendship code.
With a startling clarity that made him sway, he realised he’d never had a female friend before.
Tamara?
No! Tamara hadn’t been a friend. Tamara had been a self-serving schemer. He’d thought he’d married a partner for life but she hadn’t actually wanted him. No, Tamara had never been a friend.
He thought of this morning, working with a cool and starchy Emily. A vision of that sort of relationship sent a shudder of loss through him. He missed her friendship already.
He jammed his hands in his coat pockets, his heart pounding hard. He’d messed this up because he had no idea how to be friends with a woman. He knew how to date, how to charm, how to get his own way, but he didn’t have a clue about platonic friendship. That wasn’t a lesson his father had taught him.
You are so shallow.
A metallic taste burned the back of his throat at her words, which had pierced with deadly accuracy.
He wanted Emily’s friendship back. He wanted the companionship she’d offered, the teasing when he took himself too seriously, the shared laughs. He wanted all of it.
He’d just have to show her he was nothing like that man she’d left and he was a lot deeper than she thought he was.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE pages in the book blurred and Emily’s wrist ached from the copious notes she’d written. Five cold cups of tea cluttered the desk and she could see right through the clear bottom of the glass bowl holding bright-coloured chocolate lollies. She had to keep focused to have all the required course work for her Master’s done by the time her residential week arrived. And it was scarily close.
‘Em, it’s five o’clock.’ Jim banged on the Woollara Station’s office door before opening it and poking his head around. ‘I think you’ve done enough for the day. The sun’s setting, it’s officially Saturday night, the lamb’s roasting in the oven and Hayden just rang. He, Nadine and the kids are coming over.’
‘Thanks, Dad. I’ll come and set the table for you.’
‘I’ve done that. You can shell the peas and talk to me while I make the gravy.’ He gave her a fatherly smile.
‘Deal. I’ll be there in five.’ Emily closed her books. She’d been working all day on her Master’s, retreating to the office for peace and quiet, but now she was ready to stop.
She hadn’t seen her middle brother and his family for a few weeks and baby Alby would have changed so much.
Anticipating an enjoyable evening, she hummed to herself as she returned her father’s desk to its usual neat state.
Family dinners were always fun. She and Mark were the only siblings still living at home. Stuart and Eric shared bachelor quarters down by the shearing shed and Hayden and Nadine’s house was one hundred kilometres away on the northern boundary.
But when word got out that Jim was cooking a roast, it was amazing how many of her brothers appeared in the kitchen, and they usually brought a few mates with them. Still, it was Saturday night and Eric and Stuart had gone into Warragurra to the rugby match so she didn’t expect them to be coming.
That meant more time with Hayden and Nadine and more cuddles with her nephews. After the week she’d had she could do with a bit of family time. It would be a lot less complicated than work. Last Sunday morning had changed everything between her and Linton. Actually, the ball had changed everything between her and Linton.
A sigh shuddered through her. She still hated that she’d let stars in her eyes dazzle and blind her, affecting her judgement. When she’d seen the way Linton had gazed at her on Sunday morning, as if he could see through her clothes, she had known that the decision she’d made in the early hours of that morning had been the right one.
A hard one, but the right one.
At the moment she didn’t know which was worse—the blatant desire in Linton’s eyes or memories of the bitter derision of Nathan’s words. Both of them had wanted to mould her into something that wasn’t her.
She acknowledged that in a way she’d let both men try and change her, but all of that was over now. She wasn’t going to think about Linton any more, because when she did her heart pounded in anger and then beat quietly in sadness, leaving her totally confused.
She straightened her shoulders as she switched off the office light. She was older and wiser now. She and men didn’t match. Right now she needed to focus on herself, work, her Master’s and enjoy her extended family.
She made her way across the yard with a dog for company, and the low bellow of cattle competing with the raucous screech of the yellow-crested cockatoos nesting for the night. Two kangaroos bounded near the far fence, the fading light sending them to the shelter of the trees down by the river, the twinkling light of the evening star guiding their way.
As she drew level with the house, a four-wheel-drive pulled up, the tyres crunching on the gravel. A three-year-old boy tumbled out and raced toward her, his blond hair flying. ‘Emily!’
‘Tyler!’ She swooped him up in her arms and spun him around.
Squeals of delight showered over her.
‘Hey, sis, you’re looking good.’ Hayden gave her a kiss on the cheek and a questioning look. ‘Been shopping?’
Experimenting with new clothes was part of working out her very own style, one she was choosing for herself. Not too revealing but not sacks either, she’d been enjoying the process.
She put a squirming Tyler down and watched him run toward the house, ignoring her brother’s gaze. ‘I might have.’
‘About time.’ Hayden spoke matter-of-factly. ‘You should burn those horrible baggy shirts.’
‘Shut up.’ She playfully elbowed her brother in the ribs. Of all her brothers, Hayden knew her best.
Hayden caught her in a headlock.
‘Play nice, you two.’ Nadine’s gentle voice interrupted their horseplay.
‘Oh, can I cuddle Alby?’ Emily put out her arms for the baby.
His mother smiled a tired smile. ‘You can cuddle him for as long as you like.’
The bang of the wire door made them look up. Tyler stood on the back veranda with his hands on his hips, looking as self-important as a pre-schooler could look. ‘Granddad says peas need shelling and I can help ’cos I’m a fwee-year-old.’
‘That you are, mate.’ Hayden bounded up the steps and raced him into the house.
The aroma of roasting lamb and garlic wafted over Emily as soon as she entered the kitchen. A big metal bowl sat in the middle of the table filled with pea pods, freshly picked from the home-paddock garden. Tyler climbed up onto a stool and Hayden sat next to him, demonstrating how to shell the peas.
‘Hey, do you remember the time we ate so many peas while we were picking them that there were none for dinner?’ Hayden grinned at Emily.
She laughed. ‘Mum was furious because the circuit magistrate was coming to dinner that night and there were no green vegetables.’
Jim poured a generous slurp of red wine into the gravy, his deep, rumbling voice joining the laughter. ‘Your mother was trying to outcook Mrs Sanderson, who’d fed him the night before. You two put her reputation as the district’s best cook on the line.’
The laughter and warmth of the kitchen encircled them, relaxing Emily. She cuddled the baby, breathing in the sweet milky smell. A long-held dream of a baby of her own hovered briefly before she dismissed it as nonsense. She wanted a child but not without a husband. Right now the chances of that ever happening were zero to nothing. She really had to learn how to pick the right guy.
She glanced up and watched Nadine and Hayden teaching their son how to shell peas while Jim poured drinks and stirred the gravy. Everyone devoured the pre-dinner pesto dip and almost all of Tyler’s chips, much to his chagrin.
‘Granddad said they were for me.’ He mutinously moved the bowl to the side.
His father moved it back. ‘Sharing the chips is the right thing to do, mate.’<
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Tyler’s bottom lip wobbled.
‘Right, then. I’m almost ready to carve and dish up.’ Jim clapped his hands.
The wire door banged. ‘That’s perfect timing, Dad. Hope you’ve cooked the usual big one.’ Stuart strode into the kitchen, his cheeks ruddy from the evening chill.
‘What happened to the post-match celebrations?’ Emily raised her head from admiring the perfect shape of Alby’s tiny ears.
Stuart grinned. ‘Dad’s cooking a lamb roast, sis. I never miss that.’
‘How much did Warragurra lose by?’ Jim clapped his hand on his youngest son’s shoulder.
A sheepish expression crossed Stuart’s face. ‘We’re missing Ben McCreedy. We came in for a drubbing, fifty-seven ten. Combine that woeful score with the rain and the crush at the Royal, and Eric and I thought we’d come home for some family fun.’
‘Hey, Dad.’ Eric’s stocky bulk crossed the threshold and he immediately moved away from the door. A tall man stood in the shadow of the dark veranda. ‘You remember Linton. We thought he looked like he could do with a feed.’
Emily’s knees buckled as she clutched Alby tightly against her. Linton stood tall and solid, filling the doorway, a smile on his handsome face, a Warragurra Roosters’ scarf around his neck, his brown hair ruffled by the wind and his long legs clad in tight blue denim.
Casual, gorgeous and all male.
She swallowed a groan as a traitorous swirl of heat wound through her. Of all the men her brothers could have run into at the match and invited home, why did it have to be Linton?
Her vision of a relaxed family evening vaporised before her eyes.
‘Come in, Linton.’ Jim’s voice boomed. ‘Dinner’s almost on the table. Choose yourself a seat.’
Linton shook Emily’s father’s hand. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely. The boys are always bringing home extras and there’s plenty.’ He plunged a carving fork into the leg of lamb. ‘Emily, Linton hasn’t met Hayden and Nadine.’
Linton caught the ripple of tension across her shoulders. He’d spied Emily the moment Eric had moved away from the door. If the truth be told, he’d been searching for her the moment he’d looked into the room. His blood warmed at the sight of her, even though once again he hardly recognised her.
Her hair was no longer blue but a warm honey blonde. The soft curls brushed her shoulders, tickling the fine wool of her chocolate-brown V-necked sweater, which contrasted with a finely striped shirt with white collar and cuffs. Low-rise cords, the grey-brown colour of the bush wallaby, hugged her hips.
Country chic.
Totally gorgeous. His gut kicked as desire rolled it over.
He immediately stomped on it. Think friend. Emily was his colleague and hopefully soon-to-be-again friend. He’d only accepted Eric’s invitation to dinner because he’d thought it would be an opportunity to show Emily a completely different side of him.
A and E had been frantic lately and there hadn’t been any time to talk to her about anything other than patients. He doubted she would have accepted an invitation for coffee, lunch or dinner, even if he had offered.
All week at work she’d had bright blue hair and a pale face. She’d been steely professional, only seeking him out about work-related issues. Yet now, surrounded by her family, the prickly woman was gone and she glowed in the warm earthy colours that suited her so well. He hardly recognised her but it wasn’t just the clothes or the hair. Something about her was different, he just couldn’t quite pin down what.
She held his gaze for an infinitesimal moment, her expression questioning, before she laid the baby in the pram. Straightening up, she spoke briskly, as if she was at work. ‘Linton, I’d like you to meet my middle brother, Hayden, his wife Nadine—’
‘And me!’ A little boy tugged at her sweater.
The starchy Emily evaporated, her face creasing in laughter lines as she bobbed down and picked up the child. ‘And Tyler.’
Tyler leaned out of her arms toward the pram. ‘And that’s my baby brother.’ The pride in his voice was unmistakable.
A strange sensation washed over Linton. He didn’t want to call it loneliness. He moved forward, his arm extended as Hayden rose to his feet. ‘Great to meet you. Emily didn’t mention she was an auntie.’
‘She’s probably too busy bossing you around at work.’ Hayden grinned as he shook Linton’s hand.
The welcome in Hayden’s grip relaxed him. ‘She’s been known to have an organising moment or two.’
‘I do not boss.’ Emily sat Tyler on his chair.
Her brother gave a snort and turned toward his sister. ‘Yeah, right, and pigs might fly. You’ve been bossy since the moment you were born.’ He turned back to Linton, rolling his eyes. ‘When she gets a bee in her bonnet, she’s legendary. Once she turned this kitchen into a production line. She had all of us boys preserving fruit and baking cakes to enter in the Warragurra Show. Eric in an apron was a sight to behold.’
‘I publicly thanked you for your contribution when I won first prize.’ Emily slid onto her chair.
‘And I’m still wearing that down at the clubrooms.’ Hayden tied a bib around Tyler’s neck.
‘I was just helping you get in touch with your feminine side, so you should be thanking me because, if I remember, it was after that show that Nadine noticed you.’ Emily shot Hayden a triumphant look, her chin tilted skyward.
‘Nadine noticed me because of my spectacular riding skills at the rodeo.’
‘The time the bull bucked you and you went to hospital?’
Nadine patted a chair with her hand. ‘Sit down, Linton, and just ignore them. This is what they do.’
Linton sat down and put his serviette on his knee. ‘So was it the cooking or the riding of the bull that made you notice Hayden?’
The young wife smiled a knowing smile. ‘Actually, it was his enthusiasm and total commitment to whatever he takes on. This family has that in spades.’
Linton surreptitiously glanced at Emily, immediately recognising what Nadine meant.
Eric and Stuart joined them, adding their stories about Emily bossing them around, the loving banter obvious in their voices.
Jim carved the meat and plates were passed down the long table. Outstretched arms reached and received the dishes of roast vegetables and peas, and mint jelly was generously dobbed on top of the thick gravy. Glasses clinked, cutlery scraped against the blue and white china, and the satisfied sounds of a group of people eating good food echoed around the kitchen.
‘I think we should send a hundred head of cattle down to the sale yards next week.’ Hayden reached for the salt.
‘Mark, have you met the new kindergarten teacher?’ Nadine casually picked up the pepper grinder.
The bachelor shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked at Hayden. ‘So are you going to muster on Tuesday?’
Eric waved his fork. ‘You should ask her out, bro.’
‘Linton, I was reading in the New Scientist about surgeons using scorpion toxin to highlight malignant cells.’ Jim’s blue eyes burned with intelligence and hospitality.
Linton opened his mouth to reply.
‘I made these peas, Granddad.’
‘And you did a great job, buddy.’ Jim handed the preschooler a spoon. ‘But how about using this, rather than your fingers?’
‘Did anyone read about the latest report on salinity?’ Emily voiced the question into the congested air.
Mark attempted to stick to one topic. ‘Dad, will you be mustering with us on Tuesday?’
‘Mark can you fix the pump on the boundary dam sooner rather than later?’ Stuart scooped more potatoes onto his plate.
‘And when you’ve done that, you can call into the kinder and fix the pump on the rainwater tank. I tried but you’re better at that sort of thing.’ Hayden shot his brother a wicked grin. ‘Hey, Tyler, you’d like Uncle Mark to come and visit you at kinder, wouldn’t you?’
The little boy’s blue eyes widened
in delight. ‘I can show him the walking fish.’
Linton’s brain whirled as he tried to grab onto a conversation but found it had immediately morphed into something different. He caught Emily’s twinkling gaze, her eyes dancing with laughter at what he knew must be a completely bewildered expression on his face.
He mouthed, ‘Is it always like this?’
She nodded and asked her question about the salinity report again.
This time Jim replied, and Linton realised that in conversations at this table it was survival of the fittest. Whoever talked loudest and more often got heard. The memory of dinners past in his childhood homes floated through his mind.
The quiet meals with his mother and Cliff, often focused on earnest political discussions, which had contrasted dramatically with meals at his father’s house. The large modern glass and granite table had often been filled with strangers—women who had been trying to impress his father by mothering Linton. Women his father had had no plan on seeing a second or third time.
Once he’d left home, many meals had been spent at the hospital talking shop, or cooking for one at his own place, and more recently out at restaurants on dates, having the usual ‘getting to know you’ conversations.
All of those meals had lacked the warmth, vitality, competitiveness and camaraderie of this table. He had a sense of having missed out on something special in his family homes. His bewilderment suddenly vanished and everything became clear. He wanted to be part of it, he wanted to be in on this chaotic conversation, and at the same time he could show Emily that he wasn’t the shallow womaniser she’d tagged him as.
He projected his voice into the melee. ‘Scorpion toxin is fluorescent so it outlines the boundary of the malignant tumour.’
Jim nodded. ‘Nature’s amazing, isn’t it?’
Eric spluttered. ‘Amazing? It’s a right pain. Those kangaroos knocked over the river paddock fence again.’