“Now? Why now? You’ve been here two minutes.”
“I just do.” Kat got up from the bar stool. “Your wing person is flying away.”
“Oh, come on. You promised! What did the engineer do now? You can’t just leave me, girlfriend.”
“Sorry, but this is important. I have to get home.”
Lisa walked around Kat and Maria and thrust some papers in front of Larry. “I’ve had a long day of dealing with the members of the Alpine Grove building community and if you care about the welfare of your old truck at all, you need to sign these now.”
Larry bent to scribble his name and as she put on her coat, Kat smiled at Lisa and mouthed, “Thank you.”
Lisa nodded. “Harley and I will see you tomorrow.”
Kat spent most of the drive home trying to figure out what she was going to say to Joel that wouldn’t immediately irritate him and cause him to retreat into his office again. Sure, he hadn’t ever been an overly talkative person, but he was taking taciturn to a new and more hostile place. On the one hand, she could walk into the house and nonchalantly pretend they hadn’t just had a big fight about virtually nothing. Or she could go for the confrontational approach and try to make him say something about whatever was bothering him. Neither idea seemed promising. She was going to have to wing it.
The worst part of it all was that she was agonizing over talking to someone who was one of the only people she’d ever met who actually understood her and the sometimes bizarre way her mind worked. Talking to Joel had always been so easy, almost from the moment they met. Now she felt like she was in danger of losing the best friend she’d ever had.
Although Maria was a great girlfriend with a wonderful sense of humor, she was hard to deal with in large doses. Joel was someone Kat wanted to be with all the time. It wasn’t only that she loved him, which she did. When she was around him, Kat felt like she was the best version of herself. Nobody else had ever had that effect on her. She clenched the steering wheel with one hand and rammed the old green truck into second gear as she rounded the corner into the driveway. She was going to fix this…whatever it was.
When she walked into the house, she was greeted by the typical canine festival of barking. After the dogs realized who the interloper was, they lost interest and resumed their regularly scheduled napping. Kat went into the kitchen and through the living room into the bedroom to change her clothes. Joel was lying fully clothed on the bed with his arm over his eyes. He sat up as she walked in and Kat kicked off her shoes and crawled onto the bed next to him.
Snuggling herself up alongside his body, she stretched an arm across his chest. “I’m sorry.”
Joel stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “Me too.”
She moved her head to look into his eyes. “I’ve been trying to think up what I should say, but all I came up with was ‘I’m sorry.’”
“No third degree?”
“Nope.” She moved closer, placed her cheek on his chest, and closed her eyes. “I’m going to lie here and listen to your heart beat for a while, if that’s okay.”
Joel didn’t say anything, but he continued running his fingers across her hair, so Kat figured she didn’t have to move. At the moment, she was pretty sure she’d like to stay right in this spot forever.
After a few minutes, Kat was starting to doze off when Joel said, “I’m not mad at you, you know.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I’m not.”
“That’s good. I’m not mad at you either.” Kat shifted her position so her ear wasn’t on his chest and she could hear better. If he was going to reveal what was bothering him, he was going to have to spit it out because she wasn’t asking again. “I love you.”
“I love you back.”
Kat pulled the corner of the blanket up over her. “I missed being here with you. Writing all night has been awful.”
“It was lonely for me too.” He curled a hand under her blouse and laid his warm palm on her back. “When I was trying to go to sleep, I kept wondering if this is what the rest of my life is going to be like.”
Kat propped herself up on her elbows. “That sounds ominous.”
“It spiraled down from there.”
“The book is almost done, so things should return to normal. Or as normal as normal ever is around here.”
“I know—I mean, intellectually I know that. But things aren’t like they used to be.”
Kat readjusted herself and placed her palm on his chest. There was no getting away from it. She was going to have to ask a question now, whether he liked it or not. “What things?”
“When we first met, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”
Kat smiled. “I know. That was great.”
“You realize you just used the past tense, right? That’s what worries me. We’ve hardly spent any time together and you’re always exhausted. Then I started wondering if all the jokes about marriage are true—that you get married and never have sex again.”
“I hope not.”
“Me too, particularly since we’re not even married yet. When Casey got in touch with me and we were emailing back and forth, she mentioned she was getting divorced, and I was curious why.”
“You’re kidding. I just asked Lisa the same thing an hour ago. She said they grew apart.”
“Okay, it’s not just me then. Things have changed, haven’t they?”
“I suppose in a way they have. I mean, after you live together for more than a year, it’s not like that first intoxicating rush of infatuation and adoration when everything is brand new. We know each other now. But it seems like I love you more the longer we’re together.”
“That’s a relief.”
Kat sat up and looked down into his face. “Were you honestly worried about that?”
“I guess not. I mean I know you love me. But I didn’t want to talk to you about what I was thinking.”
“I noticed.” Kat raised her eyebrows. “And I can’t say I’m not more than a little disturbed that this person Casey now knows way too much about our sex life. Or lack of one.”
“I didn’t mention it. I just wanted someone to talk to.”
“So you’re saying talking to her was easier than talking to me?”
“In a way. We met in a programming class. If you think I’m analytical, believe me, I’m nothing compared to Casey. I figured if anyone could be objective about the realities of marriage and divorce, it would be her.”
Kat scowled. “Okay.”
“Don’t give me that look. You were busy writing and dealing with deadlines. I knew you’d be pissed off and it would be like that movie where the guy says men and women can’t be friends. But Casey and I really are just friends. When we met in college, she was already engaged to the guy she’s now getting divorced from.”
“Well, now you’re talking about the friend amendment. In When Harry Met Sally, Harry says that men and women can’t be friends unless they’re involved with other people. But it doesn’t really work because the person you’re involved with—i.e. me—doesn’t understand why you’d need to be friends with Casey. That something must be missing in our relationship. So it comes back around to men and women can’t be friends because the sex always gets in the way.”
“How many times have you seen that movie?”
“Too many. Let’s just say I know my romantic comedies. But you get my point. Do you think something is missing from our relationship?”
“Other than sex?”
Kat tried not to roll her eyes. Now she knew what all this was really about. “Yes, other than that. Once I finally get to sleep regularly again, I’m sure I will be more amorous and affectionate. I don’t feel sexy when I’m too tired to think straight.”
“Are you going to write more books?”
“Maybe, if they ask. I’m not sure.” Kat glanced toward the window. “Forever, my dream was to write a book, and it turns out it’s been one of the most awful work experiences I’ve ever
had. I mean the writing is okay, but all the arbitrary deadlines, rules, and convoluted writing templates from the publisher have made my life miserable. I just want the whole thing to be over.”
“Part of my spiraling thoughts was that this is what our life will be like forever.”
Kat took his hand and straddled his body so that she was looking down at him. She leaned over so her face was close to his and smiled. “So what you’re telling me is that you’re worried that you’ll have a bleak future in which you never have sex again, and that you are doomed to a life of austere celibacy because I’ll be so busy writing books that I’m never going to touch you until death do us part.”
“Well, when you put it like that...” He grinned. “Hey, I’m a guy. We think about sex every seven seconds.”
Kat bent to kiss him. “And that’s not a bad thing. I love you and I’d be delighted to jump you right now. Just promise me that you’ll talk to me the next time you’re upset about something.”
Joel pulled her down into his arms. “I promise.”
Chapter 6
Visiting
The next morning, Lisa loaded Harley into the truck for his journey back out to the kennel. She’d spent most of the night tossing and turning after the argument she’d had with Larry in the Soloan. Maria had bailed out about five minutes after Kat had left the bar.
A wiser person would have seen the handwriting on the wall and fled after the other two women, but Lisa was too slow. Larry had cornered her and launched into a long and tedious lecture about how Lisa had to go visit Aunt Betty at the nursing home. To hear him tell it, he’d been having to do everything and it was her turn to step up to the plate when it came to Lowell family matters.
Lisa thought that being tasked with remodeling the house should count for something, but Larry insisted at length that she needed to call their mother and deal with whatever was going on with Betty.
When Lisa had called Mom she was busy at the store, but had said that whatever Betty wanted might have something to do with jewelry. She suggested dragging an old jewelry box down to the nursing home so Betty could find whatever it was she wanted. Before hanging up Mom had added, “Let her take anything. She can have all of it, for all I care.”
The contractors weren’t starting until Monday, so Lisa had no excuse not to visit her great aunt. Most of her Friday had been spent dealing with the primary contractor Craig Maddox, who would be overseeing a number of subcontractors for flooring, painting, and various other tasks. Most building contractors took the winter off, so finding anyone in the greater Alpine Grove area willing to work at all was a huge accomplishment. Larry had no idea how many phone calls she’d had to make to find this guy Craig.
The only problem with visiting Betty was that the woman was completely off her rocker. When Lisa was growing up, Betty had always been the oddball aunt, which was cute and funny, especially when Lisa was little. Now Betty was totally nuts. There had been a slew of doctors and diagnoses, but in the end, it seemed like Betty reveled in her nuttiness. Being nutty gave her a free pass to do whatever she wanted, including telling corny or dirty jokes to anyone who would listen. She refused to follow any instructions or take medications, and when forced into doing things she didn’t like, stopped talking or went on a hunger strike.
After Betty had taken a few unscheduled naked strolls around downtown Alpine Grove, it was clear that she shouldn’t live alone anymore, so the suggestion of moving to assisted living was gently put forth. Everyone in the family knew it was time for her to receive more care, but no one wanted to bring up the topic. In the end, all the worries about her reaction were for nothing because Betty was all over the idea. Having people around to entertain her and tend to her every whim sounded like a good deal to her.
Lisa glanced over at Harley, who was looking official, sitting in the passenger seat, riding shotgun. The night before, he’d only managed to gnaw on the driver’s side door lock a little, so Lisa figured Larry got off easy. It was an old truck and no one would notice a few extra tooth marks. She reached over and ruffled one of Harley’s silky yellow-gold ears. “Hey, don’t look so serious. At least you don’t have to go see Betty with me. You get to visit all your dog friends at camp again.”
Harley leaned in for a little more affection and panted happily. He probably would like Aunt Betty. The two had a lot in common. They both appreciated being the center of attention, not to mention running off and not coming when called.
Lisa pulled into the driveway and parked in front of the kennel. Harley seemed pleased to be back and eager to get out of the truck. Lisa got out and unloaded him from the cab. She looked up just as Kat opened the kennel door and walked outside. The woman looked completely different. The dark circles under her eyes had faded and she looked relaxed. Maybe she’d finally gotten some sleep.
Kat said, “Welcome back. Harley looks ready for his walk.”
“He’s always ready.”
“So did you get Larry to sign whatever it was you needed last night?”
“Yes, although I got a lecture about how I’m not being a good sister. Most of the Soloan now knows that I need to visit my aunt Betty, who is in assisted living. So that’s what I’ll be doing today before my date.”
Kat smiled. “Family stuff can be fun like that. My fiancé and I are sort of wishing we could skip the whole wedding thing and go straight to the honeymoon.”
“I guess you talked things over?”
“Yes. Thanks again for your advice last night. I feel so much better.” Kat spread her arms wide. “I’ve been so upset, and now it’s like this dark shroud of gloom has lifted.”
Lisa laughed. “I’m glad to hear it. When I was driving back to the house last night, I was thinking about how difficult it is to sustain a marriage over time.”
“How long were you married?”
“Twenty-one years.”
“It’s disturbing to think about things falling apart after so many years together. I hope Joel and I don’t get divorced in 2018.”
“There’s no way to know what will happen.” Lisa looked down at Harley, who was lying at her feet, chewing on a stick. “But I think one advantage you have is that you are older than I was when I got married. My husband—or rather ex-husband—was an intern when I met him. I was only nineteen and had just had a terrible accident and was in the hospital, then rehab. Over two decades many, many things changed, including me and Mike.”
“I suppose that’s true. I’m different than I was at nineteen. Way different.”
“I’m told that falling in love with your doctor or therapist is common. He seemed so much smarter and wiser than I was, and I fell head over heels for him. Then almost as soon as I’d recovered from the accident, we had kids. We stayed together for years because of the twins, which also is common.” Lisa sighed. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you all this. It’s got to be horribly depressing to someone who is about to get married.”
“It’s okay. In fact, it’s helpful. I should think about these things and talk to Joel about it. When you sign up to get married, you know it’s supposed to be forever. But what if it’s not? Forever is a long time and no one ever talks about how things might change as you get older.” Kat shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, the divorce rate is fifty percent, right? Why is that? I’m sure there are a lot of reasons.”
“I think when you’re head over heels in love, you don’t think about the fact that living with someone day in and day out for years can be challenging. The happy couple is convinced marriage will be nothing but flowers, candy, and romance all the time. But being married requires compromises every day. You do thousands of little things because you’re paying attention to the other person’s feelings. When you let resentments creep in and you stop caring, that’s when things start to fall apart. Or at least that’s how it was for me.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“I’ve probably spent far more time going over all this in my head than I should have. I remember
that I used to think of my little family as a garden that needed tending. I was completely focused on keeping my girls happy and everything running smoothly. Looking back, I ignored problems with Mike, thinking they were temporary and would go away. They didn’t, which became obvious when the girls left for school and I got sick.”
“You mentioned you were sick before. What happened?”
“Cancer. Although Mike and I did okay with the for-richer-and-poorer part, the sickness-and-health clause didn’t work out as well for us. I’m fine now though.”
Kat moved forward two steps, stretched out her arms, and gave Lisa a hug. “I’m glad. Thanks for telling me all this. I’m sure it isn’t easy to talk about.”
“I hope it helps.” Lisa returned the hug and rested her head on Kat’s shoulder. Telling people about her divorce wasn’t so terrible anymore. Maybe she finally was moving on at last.
After returning to the house and getting some lunch, Lisa collected the jewelry box, got back in the truck, and headed south toward the Alpine Grove Care Center, where Great Aunt Betty was staying, probably permanently. The facility was a relatively new complex made up of multiple buildings that provided a wide range of medical services. The medical campus had physical therapy and rehabilitation, hydrotherapy, assisted living, outpatient services, and more traditional long-term care for people who were ill or incapacitated.
Back when Lisa had her skiing accident, the medical services in Alpine Grove were more limited, so she’d been hospitalized and spent her initial recovery in Gleasonville. It was odd how your entire life could change in an instant. Sometimes Lisa reflected on the fact that if she hadn’t crashed so horribly that day, she would never have met Mike or had Carol and Cheryl. The past two decades would have unfolded completely differently.
She couldn’t imagine not having her girls in her life . Since she’d been in Alpine Grove, it had been all she could do to not call them every single day. When the twins started college, both Cheryl and Carol had made it clear that they didn’t want their mother calling them constantly. After they’d both been so kind when Lisa was sick, she’d done her best to respect their wishes.
Daydream Retriever (An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy Book 10) Page 10