by MF Isaacs
He isn’t looking at me, his eyes are locked on Sierra’s face. She looks at me before looking away counting days in her mind before she answers him, “It could have happened 6 days ago up to 12 days ago. If not, then it would have been 21 days.”
“I am going to print these out, let you get dressed then we’ll talk. I can explain what I think is happening. Take your time. When you’re dressed, just crack the door so I know you’re ready.” He quietly threw away the condom and his rubber gloves before he left the room.
Neither of us spoke while I helped her get dressed. She wasn’t crying, which made the whole situation better. When she was ready, she opened the door before taking a seat in the guest chair next to me rather than on the exam table. He entered the room right away and started explaining. “I am not an OB/GYN, which means this is not my area of expertise. That being said, I would like you to get a second opinion from an OB/GYN. There are two things that could be happening. I will tell you both options, I will pray for the better one to be true. The first is that you are not as far along as your last period would indicated, which means you found out you are pregnant within days of conceiving. That is what I hope for. The second option is that you were pregnant but that the fetus did not develop which would explain the low HCG levels and the small sack size.”
Our hands were locked together and she dropped her head to my shoulder. When I turned to kiss her forehead, I was shocked to see she wasn’t crying. My overly emotional girl wasn’t crying. Her dry eyes gave me courage to ask the doctor as many questions as I could think of. He patiently answered each one. I explained our weekend plans, and asked if it could be harmful to wait to do anything further until after the weekend. First and foremost, he congratulated us on our upcoming wedding. He explained that there was no danger to Sierra to wait until we returned from Vegas to see the OB/GYN. If the second option was true and the baby didn’t develop, she ultimately could miscarry on her own. He suggested we make an appointment for when we return to have blood drawn prior to her appointment so the OB/GYN would already have the results when we were seen.
I thanked the doctor for taking the time to explain everything to us in a way that we could understand. Then, I promptly picked up my girl and walked out of there.
I think I was all cried out. For the last six months, I had expressed every emotion with tears. I cried more tears in the last 12 hours than I had cried in all six of those months. I told Cal he could put me down when we made it outside and at first, he refused, until I begged, “Please Cal, I want to walk. I’m okay. Please, just let me walk.”
He slowly lowered my feet to the ground and held onto me until I was steady. Before he let me go completely, he turned me to face him and pulled me into him. He surrounded me, his large form engulfed me in the fiercest hug I have ever received. He didn’t speak, he didn’t need to. I could feel his unspoken words of love, hope, and desperation. As much as he was comforting me, I believe I was doing the same for him. It was hard to breathe while wrapped up in his arms, when he felt my efforts to suck in a huge breath, he released me.
As soon as we returned to the hotel, we dropped our clothes and climbed into the bed. We held each other for almost an hour without saying a word. Neither of us cried, we just processed. We were in such a shitty spot, on one hand I wanted to start researching, on the other hand I wanted to continue to dream that everything was going to be okay.
I’ve spent so much time over the last few years worrying. I worried about my parents and Sophia; even though they weren’t here physically, I worried about their souls. I worried about Grandma and even more about Grandpa. I worried about Steve and Curtis while they were at college and they didn’t want to be. I worried about money. I worried about school. I worried about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I worried about Curtis because I knew he was unhappy. I worried about failing. Seriously, the list could go on and on. Logically, I knew that worrying didn’t change anything, it didn’t fix anything, it just made my life harder.
This situation would be the most important thing I could ever worry about. My child, whom I already love with my whole heart might not grow. I might never hold him or her. I might miscarry. But there is still a chance that it could be my greatest opportunity as well. My baby might have just been made when I took the tests that came back positive. I had to let go of the worry. I had to allow whatever was going to happen, to happen. In the back of my mind, I remember telling Cal I wanted the wedding to be focused on us, not the baby. With that memory, I reminded him of just that. “I want to believe with my whole heart that option one is true. That we made this baby more recently than the doctor initially thought. I could worry myself sick that it is option two. If I did that, I would stand the chance of being miserable on our wedding day. I don’t want that. We leave for Vegas in less than 48 hours. We will be married in four more sleeps. After the wedding, I want to enjoy two nights locked away in a hotel with my hot husband. When we get back from Vegas, we can go to the OB/GYN and see if they can tell us one way or the other.”
“You’re so fucking smart Babe. You are right, there isn’t anything we can do that is going to change the outcome, it’s out of our hands. Let’s get some food for my bride to be and then I’m going to practice for our wedding night with you.” For the first time in what felt like days, I laughed.
Cal was on the road back home long before the sun even came up; he wanted to get a full work day in before leaving for Vegas. I said goodbye to him without a single tear, being apart for one night was easy knowing that after this we’d be married. I spent the day double checking everything while Steve and Hannah finished up classes as much as they could.
Calvin met us at the airport Thursday morning. Our airport reunion was movie worthy; he was waiting for us right by the ticket counter when we arrived. He stood waiting with a small bouquet of gerbera daisies in varying shades of pink. At the sight of him, I abandoned my suitcase, knowing Steve or Hannah would grab it for me, and wove in between other travelers to get to him. As soon as I was close enough, I launched myself into his arms. The world around me disappeared as I held onto him with all the strength I had. Initially, it was Hannah’s cheering that pulled my attention away from him, but I quickly realized she was joined by a crowd of people. Embarrassed, I buried my face into Cal only to have him join in the cheers.
When we got checked in, we discovered that his parents had upgraded our tickets to first-class. I’d never flown first-class. Even after finding out about all the money we inherited, we picked general seating when we went to Florida over the summer. We took full advantage of the first-class privileges, Steve got us all coffees while Hannah and I had polish changes done. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to general seating after this.
It was hard for the flight crew to ignore my beautiful flowers, not to mention Cal proudly declaring that we’re headed to Vegas to get married. Once they knew that, the crew went even further overboard with making our first-class experience amazing. Once in the air, they did the normal safety announcements and then made a big production about our upcoming wedding in Vegas. Each crew member took a turn giving us PG marital advice, the pilot’s was good, “I think he already knows this, but I’ll say it just in case: flowers, lots and lots of flowers. Flowers to celebrate, flowers to apologize, flowers to tell her you love her, flowers just because.”
I was surprised when we found Luke and Amy waiting for us at the airport. The first-class treatment was extended further with the limo ride to Planet Hollywood. As soon as we checked in, we had the bell hop take our luggage to the rooms so we could make Amy happy and head straight to the convention where Hannah was meeting up with Mary. The guys decided to stay and play poker while we went.
Amy was hilarious as she discovered her “ALL TIME FAVORITE” author a half dozen times. Hannah eventually ditched Amy when she was taking too long. It was fun seeing Mary and getting to meet the author that wanted to use Hannah on her cover. Her name was Della and she was part of a writing tea
m that went by the pen name Della Michael.
I don’t know if it was the group of woman we were hanging out with or if it was just the Vegas vibe, but it was seriously so much fun. Not once did I worry about the baby or any of the other things that I constantly worry about. Several authors asked for business cards from Hannah and me. It wasn’t surprising they asked Hannah, since she is drop dead gorgeous; but I was shocked to the point of laughing my ass off at the thought of them wanting my picture on the cover of their books. Mary took over whenever someone asked, which worked for me.
Hannah and I had to pretty much drag Amy from the convention. She wasn’t my mom so I thought it was funny. Hannah however, wasn’t impressed with her drunk mom. We met up with the guys just as they finished playing poker. Luke lost, Steve won and Cal broke even. I knew Hannah had plans to meet up with Mary for the first photo shoot, so I wasn’t surprised when she suggested to Luke that he take Cal and me out to dinner. I was shocked, however, when he agreed to sushi at the Blue Ribbon Sushi Bar and Grill, he didn’t strike me as a big sushi person.
Dinner was amazing, thankfully Cal ordered a combo plate of vegetable and California rolls for us to share. After dinner, the four of us wandered down the strip, taking in the sights and sounds of the Las Vegas strip. We wandered in and out of the casinos along the way, each one nicer than the last. Every once in a while, Luke, Amy, or Cal would stop at a slot machine and put some money in but for the most part we just explored. By the time we got back to our own hotel, Amy was officially drunk. I still thought it was the funniest thing ever. Apparently, Hannah was the only one who didn’t find her funny because Cal and Luke were entertained and laughed at her drunken tactics.
Amy chanted “One more, just one more.” as she flopped down at the bank of slots right by the elevators that would take us to our rooms. Her one more, turned into lights and sirens as she won a little over $8,000. She then put more money into the same slot because, according to her, you never walk away from a winning machine. Sure as shit, she continued to win and refused to head to bed despite Luke trying to entice her with his bedroom voice, or what I assumed was his bedroom voice. Cal used his hand to put a little pressure on my lower back, sort of nudging me to abandon his parents. I was almost ready when Hannah and Steve appeared, Hannah flashing a beautiful diamond ring my brother gave her. It was exactly what was needed to get Amy to abandon the slot machine. She insisted that the six of us head to their room to toast their engagement.
After Luke’s toast, Steve and Cal took us back to our room before kissing us good night. Cal pulled me into a hug that took my breath away, mostly because he was squeezing me so tight. “One last sleep and you will be my wife. Tomorrow starts our journey and I couldn’t be more ready. I love you Babe!”
“I love you too Cal.” I could feel the nervous energy working its way into my voice. Instead of letting the energy work its way out in the form of tears, I kissed him quickly before ushering him out.
Hannah spent the next hour easing my nerves. A week ago, shoot even two days ago, I would have been plagued with uncontrollable worry. Instead, I was dealing with normal pre-wedding nerves. Instead of losing sleep, I was out before Hannah. But from the sounds of it, she was still riding her high from the exhibitionist photo shoot and the proposal.
The happiness I felt knowing it’s my wedding day, wasn’t dimmed by the fact that I woke up with barely enough time to make it to the bathroom where I promptly puked up everything I had in my stomach. My mind briefly flashed to words I had heard once before, morning sickness was a sign of a strong pregnancy. I have no clue if it’s true, but in my heart I was choosing to believe it was. It gave me just enough to carry on with my mission of not worrying about things I couldn’t control.
Hannah knocked just as I finished brushing my teeth. She didn’t question my explanation of it being the nerves that made me puke. I did her hair and makeup for her second photoshoot that was schedule to start in less than 30 minutes. Curtis, Callie, and Will arrived right before Steve did. Steve was taking Hannah to her photo shoot while Callie was taking me to have the bridal package done at the fancy ass spa in the hotel.
I sent Calvin a text before heading out with Callie.
Me: No more sleeps. Today is the day I get to become Mrs. Calvin McMann
Cal: Today I get to call you my wife. Love you
Me: Love you too. Off to the spa with Callie. See you soon
The bridal package was beyond amazing. I have never felt more pampered in my life nor have I been this relaxed without having had an orgasm.
By the time Callie and I made our way back to the room, Mary and Hannah were already there. Mary worked lightning fast at getting a book printed with all the images from my boudoir photo shoot, which I asked Hannah to deliver to him.
She returned about 20 minutes later carrying a gift that Cal sent over for me. Before I could open my present, my phone was buzzing.
Cal: Damn Babe
Cal: Ur f*cking beautiful
Cal: I can’t believe you’re going to be my wife
Cal: Can’t leave my room. Already jacked off once still hard AF
Me: Love you. Getting ready to open my present
I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of him jacking off and still being hard. I swear that Mary was psychic because she asked, “He thanking you for having to choke the chicken? No way he’d be able to walk after looking at the book.” Of course, that just made me laugh harder since she was spot on.
Hannah reminded me to open my gift. I pulled the card out of the gift bag, it was a small blank greeting card with “To My Bride” written on the outside. Inside his message said:
Sierra,
I love you so much. Today we begin our journey together as husband and wife. This is just a small token of my love for you. As our family grows so will this gift.
Thank you for choosing me.
~Calvin
I set the card down and opened the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen. I normally didn’t wear jewelry, simply because I didn’t have any. From the sounds of his card he was changing that.
I arranged a limo for the girls to make their way to the chapel. Mom and Dad rode with us guys in a second limo, which arrived before the girls did.
I knew Sierra and Mom had already made all the arrangements for the ceremony. I told her to pick what she wanted which meant I was a surprised when I arrived to find the chapel wasn’t a typical tacky Vegas style chapel. This chapel had a beautiful garden which I knew right away I wanted pictures taken in.
Mary arrived in her own car and had me stand near a small man made pond. She took a few pictures of me with my parents then some of me with the guys. When the limo pulled up, she asked me to turn my back while allowing the girls to exit the limo. She told me she would let me know when she was ready for me to turn and see my bride.
I was suddenly overcome with nervousness that I had escaped until that point. I knew she would be beautiful, I knew she was the one I wanted. One little speck of fear that she might have changed her mind is why I was nervous. As soon as I heard Mary tell me, “Okay Calvin you can turn around.” my nerves disappeared. She was here, she was agreeing in the loudest, non-verbal way that she was choosing me.
The second she came into my line of sight, I lost all the breath I was holding. I lost all movement of my body. I was beyond speechless. She had to walk to me, because I was frozen. She moved in slow motion and if felt like a dream. As soon as she was within reach I managed to get my body in motion as I swept her into my arms. Overcome with love, I dipped her back like a Hollywood star as I kissed as much of her exposed skin up her neck to her mouth.
We stood face to face, forehead to forehead in silence. We could have stood there for longer if it weren’t for Mary asking if we were ready to get the pictures taken before the ceremony. She did an amazing job organizing us in groups for all the traditional wedding photos.
When it was our turn for the chapel, the official came to get us from th
e garden. My parents, Kyler’s friend Cole, and Will all made their way to the front row. Steve, Kyler, and I stood at the front of the chapel waiting for the girls. Callie walked in first, it was easy to see the love Will had for her as he watched her walk in. Next was Hannah, there wasn’t a single person in the room who didn’t light up at the sight of her. She had truly blossomed in the last four months, mostly thanks to Steve. The music changed as Sierra and Curtis appeared at the end of the isle. I had already seen her, already kissed her, but my heart stopped. This was it, there was still time for her to change her mind. As soon as she started walking down the aisle, the smile took over my entire face. Nothing could have made me happier than having her as my wife.
We agreed that we would exchange traditional vows for the sake of making things easier on us leading up to the ceremony. I wasn’t sorry for that, the non-traditional words I wanted to share with her weren’t family friendly. Let’s face it, she looked beautiful in her dress but all I could really think about was getting her naked and fucking her senseless. I couldn’t get the images of her from that book out of my mind.
I may have exchanged all my vows without hearing a word that was said. Because seriously, there were pictures in that book of her completely naked. We did the opposite of most people and let everyone leave the chapel first, it allowed them to be outside blowing bubbles as we walked out and made our way straight into the waiting limo. My dad gave the driver strict instructions not to let us out at a hotel, we were to be taken straight to the restaurant where they would all be meeting us. As soon as we pulled away from the crowd, the driver announced over his shoulder that he knew the long way and we had approximately 20 minutes; after which he promptly closed the privacy glass for us without asking.