by Ellle Parker
“Do you think I’m incapable of noticing these things for myself?” I asked him.
“Yes,” he said. “You are the most bizarrely asexual person I’ve ever met. If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I’d be worried you didn’t have a dick at all.”
“Well, you know there’s no problem there.”
Seth snickered. “You ever heard the phrase ‘use it or lose it?’”
“Why don’t you let me worry about that, all right?”
“Oh, man.” Seth grabbed my arm and moaned indecently. “Check out the ass on that chick. Don’t you just wanna sink your teeth into that?”
“You are a pig,” I told him.
“Hell, her date’s even better,” Seth said, as a good-looking guy in his twenties trotted across the street and gave the girl a kiss before walking away with her.
“You wanna sink your teeth into him too?”
Seth smirked. “Something, anyway.”
“Am I supposed to be charmed by this?” I asked. “Are you like this on all your dates?”
“I might feel bad,” he said, “but you actually looked.”
“Of course I looked. I am human, you know.”
We walked five blocks and ended up on the sidewalk outside The Shark Pond. It was a smallish place with murals of underwater scenes on either side of glass double doors. Along the bottom edge were planters full of shrubs that had seen better days, and over the doors was a curved, black awning. Most people were walking right past, but occasionally someone would go in or come out.
After ten minutes or so of watching the crowd and scoping out the surrounding area, we went inside. The interior was like the outside, done up in varying shades of blue, green and black, with glitter sparkling from the walls and ceiling. The bar was wave shaped and glowed deep blue off to one side of the room, while the dance floor was washed in green and blue light that oozed from one color to the next in a slow ripple. It wasn’t exactly my kind of place, with the pulsing music and black lights, but I was impressed with the effect.
There wasn’t a huge crowd yet, but there were a few groups here and there. Seth went up to the bar, and I followed, trying to check out the nooks and crannies of the room without being too obvious about it.
We sat down on stools and I turned to watch the floor, while Seth studied the offerings behind the bar. The bartender passed by us with a “hi” sign that said he’d be with us in a minute, and Seth started studying him instead. He was lean and pale, with old jeans, a white tank top, and some kind of scruff on his chin that passes for a beard with guys of a certain age.
When he finished with the girls at the end, he came down and leaned on the bar in front of us, smiling broadly. “I’m En, what are we drinking tonight?”
“N?” I asked. “What is this, Sesame Street?”
He gave me an arch look and said, “That’s fucking hysterical. Think that up all on your own?”
“Yeah, I did, actually. Bring me a beer.”
Seth smiled at him and said, “Why don’t you surprise me.”
En sized him up for a minute and said, “I think you’d really like Sex With an Alligator.”
“Dude, you have no idea…”
That earned Seth a sexy grin, and after En shoved a beer at me without bothering to ask what kind I’d actually like, he put a drink shaker on the bar and started to fill it with various types of liquor, all of which glowed in the black lights of the bar. Boy, did this guy read Seth right. He gave it a good shake and set two tall shot glasses up on the bar.
He cast a sidelong glance at me and asked Seth, “You with him?”
“Oh, yes.”
En put another shot glass up and filled each one about half full of puce colored liquid. Then he took a bottle of blood red liqueur and poured some down the inside edge of each glass so it settled at the bottom. Finally, he added something to the top, making the whole thing layered. It wasn’t exactly the bartending as performance art you hear about, but it was still kind of impressive. Not nearly as impressive as Seth was making it out to be, but noteworthy nonetheless.
After En slid us each a glass, he and Seth toasted and tossed them back in one quick swallow. How Seth can do that, but choke on whiskey, I’ll never know.
Since this guy was currently our most likely source of information, I raised my glass to them both, put on my game face, and downed the shot. It wasn’t all that bad, but I sincerely hoped I wasn’t going to have to do any more to prove to him I wasn’t ready for the walker and ear horn just yet.
While En fixed another round, he made the usual light conversation. “So, you guys are a couple of new faces. I haven’t seen you around before.”
“Yeah,” Seth said with a casual air. “We don’t get down this way that much, but you know, when you get a chance to take advantage of the action, you don’t pass it up.”
En smirked and gave Seth another shot.
I tried to cut to the chase. “We’re lookin’ for a guy named Darryl Serrano, you know him?”
A shadow crossed En’s face, and his manner toward me went distinctly cold. “Is he a friend of yours?”
“Fuck, no,” I snapped. I could easily read the guy’s attitude on this one. “The son of a bitch owes me money. A lot of it. And I aim to collect one way or another.”
The threat of violence against Serrano clearly put me back in the good graces of our bartender, because he offered me another round of the alligator shit.
“No thanks,” I said. “Beer’s just fine for me. So, can you tell me if he’s been around lately? Someone told me he hung out here.”
En shook his head. “Haven’t seen that fucker in months. He used to work for the owner once in a while, but not anymore, I can tell you that.” If he knew Serrano was dead, he wasn’t letting on.
“That’s not a real big surprise now, is it?” Seth scoffed, downing his second shot. “Guy’s a class-A moron.”
En laughed. “The shit that always got to me, was his stupid cloak-and-dagger crap. Nothing was ever easy or straightforward with him. It was like everything had to be a game, you know?”
“A game?” I asked.
“Yeah,” En said dismissively. “Four phone calls when one would do, cryptic notes, sneaking around everywhere. Shit drove me crazy. I used to hate it when Ollie would ask me to send Darryl on errands, because it turned into such a fucking hassle.”
“Ollie…that your boss?”
“Yeah. He pawned that shit off on me because he didn’t want to deal with it himself.”
The crowd was starting to grow and business was picking up. A second bartender had come on duty and was working down at the other end. En brought me another beer, and glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’d better take my smoke break before it gets much crazier in here, or I won’t get the chance.” He gave Seth an especially rakish grin and took off.
Seth polished off his fourth shot. Or maybe it was his fifth, I’d lost count. He grinned at me and said, “You hang tight for a bit. I think I might have a chance to get a little more dirt on Serrano, here.”
“Yeah,” I said, leveling my gaze on him. “I think you mean get a little dirt on your knees, don’t you?”
Seth gaped at me and I had to laugh, because it’s not often I can shock him. “Dude, I can’t believe you just said that out loud.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” I said, “I really admire your dedication to the job.”
He smiled as he slid off his stool and started walking backward toward the hall where En had disappeared. “No worries, baby, I’m all yours tonight,” he said with a saucy wink. “This is strictly business.”
Since it appeared I was going to be on my own for a while, I took my beer and opted for wandering the crowd. I wanted see if there was anything that might give me a clue as to what Serrano did for them, or why he liked to hang out there.
There wasn’t a hell of a lot to see that I thought would help us. I saw a few small-time drug deals go down, which stood to reason. That was regular trade al
l over South Beach. I worked my way along the edge of the dance floor slowly, trying to look more like I was scoping out the action, and less like I was casing the joint. Must have worked, because I caught a fairly pretty, young woman checking me out.
I nodded and said, “Hi.” She smiled at me and went back to talking to her friends.
I was about to move on and maybe get another beer, when the back door opened and En came in, followed by Seth. They were talking about some band I’d never heard of, and I imagined that was probably just as well.
Seth looked fairly smug, which I took to be a good sign. He stopped next to me and said, “You ready to head out?”
“I am,” I said, tossing my empty beer bottle into a garbage can at the end of the bar. We thanked En and started to pick our way through the crowd.
Out on the sidewalk, Seth turned to me with a huge grin and said, “Boy, have I got some great shit for you.”
“On Serrano?”
“Yep.” We started walking back toward the hotel. “En wasn’t kidding when he said Serrano was a total crackpot. All that shit about games he used to play? Turns out the guy had some serious James Bond delusions. Like, he spent most of his time practically play-acting spy movies.”
“He’d pretend he was James Bond?”
“Not by name exactly, but En said he carried around some kind of stupid spy gear he bought off the internet, like little cameras and stuff. And he wouldn’t let En give him orders directly, he’d refuse to listen unless En called him on his cellphone so he could duck out of sight, be all sneaky about it.”
I rolled my eyes. Crackpot was a polite word for Serrano. “The guy leads the life of a peon,” I mused, “so he tries to spice it up with imaginary games, make it more exciting.”
Seth nodded. “Well, it was about to get a whole lot less exciting. The club owner was starting to get sick of all the bullshit, and Serrano was on his way out. En told me he was going to get fired.”
“I suppose he saw it coming, decided to split town instead.”
Details were starting to click into place, bit by bit. Now we had some kind of a handle on Serrano, and a clue as to how the guy operated. I felt the satisfying rush I always did when I got a toehold on a case.
“You’re right,” I told Seth. “That is some good stuff. Knowing Serrano’s taste for spy games might shed some light on those codes of his.”
Seth beamed at me. “Does that mean you’re feeling especially grateful to me right now?”
“As a matter of fact, it does. I would say business is concluded for the day. We’ll start trying to break the codes tomorrow. With the VIN numbers, and this new information, we’ve got a good starting point and it’s looking promising.”
“Excellent.” He lit up and rubbed his hands together with glee. “There’s a fantastic club I want to take you to, just a couple blocks from here. Let’s go.”
He turned and crossed the street, rather than heading down the sidewalk like I’d expected. I ran to catch up with him. “Club? I thought we were going back to the hotel.”
He gave me a horrified look. “The night is still young, Dino. Come on, man, live a little.”
“Yeah, but your kind of club? I don’t know.”
“Dino,” he said, stopping to nail me with a stare. “I ate dinner with candles on the table. Now, you’re gonna sit in a club and have a drink and maybe even dance, got it?”
“I got it, I got it,” I said, holding up my hands. Dancing, I knew, was nothing even remotely resembling what I’d been taught, but he had a point, and I figured turnabout was fair play.
It was dark out, or as dark as it could be with all the neon around, and the party that was South Beach surrounded us. South Beach is a little like being on Mars, and you never know what in the hell you’re going to see.
Seth’s club turned out to be farther than a couple blocks, and from the outside it didn’t look like much. It was a plain, concrete building with a blue awning that said Tease on it. Inside, it was more interesting. There was a bar that looked like an English pub, with men sitting around in fat armchairs having drinks. I thought I could probably have a decent time in spite of the volume of the music, but Seth pulled me straight through that room and into something more like I’d been expecting in the first place.
There were a lot more guys in this one, younger too, and at least half of them were shirtless. The music pulsed so loud it made my insides feel weird. Seth immediately started bouncing to the music. He told me to stay put, and I watched as he made his way up to the bar. I noticed several other guys watch him too, and I wasn’t sure if I liked that or not.
When he came back, he was carrying two tall drinks. “What’s that?” I hollered above the din.
“Long Island Iced Tea,” he said, pressing close so he could talk by my ear. “They’re two for one right now. You’ll like it, everyone likes them.”
I took a sip, and it wasn’t bad. Better than Alligator Sex or whatever En had fixed us. Seth raised his eyebrows in question, and I nodded, which made him smile. I felt his hand slide along my back and saw that a couple of the guys who had been watching him, were now looking at me rather enviously. I definitely liked that.
Seth gave me a nudge and steered me deeper into the room, pointing ahead of us. There was a stage featuring a well oiled guy in gold lamé underwear, gyrating in the most unlikely way. I glanced back at Seth and rolled my eyes. He laughed and took up a stance behind me, watching around my shoulder. He had one hand on my waist and was still rocking his hips along with the music, which was just fine with me. I could be a good date and watch strippers for a while. The song changed and they brought out a different guy, who was a little more my type. I’d only ever really looked at naked men on-line before. Having one on stage right in front of me was a completely different experience, but I liked it.
Actually, all around me would be a better description, because it wasn’t just the guy on stage. Lots of them were half naked and dirty dancing or making out. I guessed this was part of Seth’s plan to loosen me up about us, because he was suddenly way handsier than he’d ever been. I realized he was touching me constantly, rubbing or caressing anywhere and everywhere. He was practically glued to my side too, which was probably a good thing. If he wasn’t, I’m sure he’d have been hit on relentlessly.
When we finished our drinks, Seth took my glass and set it on a table, then led me through the crowd again. We came to a set of stairs and joined the steady stream of guys going up and down.
“What now?” I asked, as we paused while traffic sorted itself out.
“There’s a bar up here you’ll like a lot better,” he said, glancing at me over his shoulder. He grinned and leaned back against my chest for a moment, before people started moving again.
His enthusiasm was infectious and I tried to soak it up, although I felt awkward as hell. It wasn’t so much that I was out of place. I mean, aside from the eleven million shirtless college boys, there were drag queens and plenty of older guys, some real freaks, and quite a few women. But I was definitely out of my element.
It might have been different if I was working, because I can play a part, and I’m not really myself. This, though? This was all me, in a gay bar, with my best friend.
Seth was right. I did like the upstairs room better. It was a long open veranda, with comfortable chairs and sofas to sit on, and the most relaxing ocean breeze blowing through. The music was still loud, but it wasn’t nearly so pulsing, and we could talk if we kept our heads together.
Again, he went to the bar and came back with drinks. Same as before, but stronger, if possible.
“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?” I asked. We settled onto a sofa in a pleasantly dim corner.
He smirked. “I’m trying to get you drunk so I can drag you out onto the dance floor in the next room.”
“Ah,” I said, and took a good long swallow of my iced tea.
Seth wedged himself as close as he could get to me withou
t sitting in my lap and proceeded to tell me all about the club and several of his adventures in it. I’m guessing there are a lot of them he left out.
I began to feel the alcohol go to my head, and I was far more relaxed than when we’d walked in. Seth probably thought so, because he left off whatever story he was in the middle of and put down his glass. He shoved me back against the cushions and kissed me hard and dirty.
Instinct took over and I pushed him back, bracing my hands on his shoulders. “Hey, hey!” I said, looking around in a panic.
He gave me a stern look. “Dino. We are in South Beach, Miami. I could do you out in the middle of the street and people wouldn’t even notice.”
I was willing to bet they would, but I got his point. They weren’t holding Bible school out there.
He slipped an arm around my neck and settled against me. “Look around,” he said. “Who in the fuck is even going to give us a second glance? Except maybe that guy at the end who’s been checking you out.”
I ignored that last part, and looked around obediently. There were, of course, lots of other guys doing exactly what we were doing.
Seth continued. “Gay guys come to gay bars to do what everybody else does. Haven’t you ever made out with some chick in a bar before?”
“No,” I said, looking back at him, “I haven’t. That’s not really my style. And I don’t date ‘chicks.’”
“You don’t date,” he said with a wicked smirk.
“Yes, I do.” I took a sip of my drink. “You should see the hot mechanic I’m sleeping with.”
“Asshole,” Seth murmured in my ear, right before he licked it.
This time when he kissed me, I let him, and pulled him into my lap, holding him tight against me. He responded with a lot of moaning and enthusiastic wriggling. It got to the point that I had to smile. “Are you taking this seriously?” I asked.
“I’ll take it seriously later. Right now I’m all about having fun.” He jumped up and drained his drink, then held out a hand. “Time’s up, let’s go!”
“You’re not talkin’ about the hotel, are you?”
“Nope.” He snapped his fingers.