by Tera Shanley
“What are you staring at, Landry?” Vanessa said, throwing her an ugly look.
Her disappointment was so acute she couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t even move from her squatting position. Had he been in Vanessa’s room? Was he coming or going?
Mitchell straightened up and walked over to help her pick up the clothes that had tumbled out of the bag.
“I didn’t realize you lived so close to Vanessa,” he told her.
“Yeah, we’re neighbors.” She stood and cleared her throat. She’d thought about what she would tell him all day long, but now that the time had come she was scrambling. “I’m—I was actually looking for you.”
Mitchell sighed and looked around. “Look, Laney. We really don’t have to do this.”
“No, I think we do. I have something important to say.”
“Ew, is it about Sean?” Vanessa asked viciously. She seemed to find heart in the horror on her face. “You were going to tell him about hooking up with Sean, no?” She grinned toothily and turned to Mitchell who had fixed a confused gaze on her. “I’ll tell him, then.”
“Vanessa—” Laney tried to stop her.
“No, really. I don’t mind.”
Laney looked at Mitchell and bit her lip as Vanessa launched into her story.
“Adam caught our little skank here hooking up with Sean Daniels on his desk at the saw mill a few days ago. Isn’t that right, skank?”
Mitchell glared at her with an unbridled fury and waited.
“He kissed me. We weren’t hooking up.”
“Same thing,” Vanessa argued.
“No. You make it sound worse than it was.”
Mitchell turned to leave, but Laney grabbed his arm. “Wait. It isn’t like that. Adam was saying horrible things about me, and Sean was just trying to make it seem like we weren’t listening. Ugh, it doesn’t sound right. Just give me a minute to explain this. Please.”
He grabbed her shoulders with both of his large, strong hands. “Laney, I don’t ask you for much, but I’m asking you to tell me the truth now. Tell me you didn’t come to me last night because of what Sean said about you being the cure yesterday. Tell me it wasn’t because you were mad at him. Tell me!”
She opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words. She tried again. “It’s not the only reason.”
He released his hold on her. His eyes burned with shock and disappointment. “It’s the only reason I care about. Forget everything I told you last night.” The words ground out of his mouth like they had an acrid taste.
She watched him go, bitterly defeated. The weight of her despair was enough to lock her into place until he disappeared into the woods.
Vanessa laughed as she looked after him. “Landry, you’re making this way too easy for me.”
Laney retreated to her room to escape, but as she was shutting the door Vanessa’s cruel voice sang out. “Mitchell really is a great kisser, isn’t he?”
She shut the door behind her and leaned her forehead against the rough wood grain. The staggering weight of Mitchell’s anger left her emotionally exhausted. The bitter sting of betrayal washed over her at the thought of his lips touching Vanessa’s right after he’d caressed her own body with them. She really shouldn’t let it hurt so badly. She had no claim on the man, but she burned just the same.
Chapter Eighteen
LANEY FOUND SOLACE in the routine of daily life at Dead Run River. The heaviest part of that routine, unfortunately, was Mitchell ignoring and avoiding her. She tried for the first week to talk to him, but he’d have none of it. He seemed to be detaching himself from her as her heart had detached from Sean. The awareness was debilitating.
She looked for him everywhere. Even just a simple glimpse of him would soothe her for a minute or so. He’d be with Vanessa from time to time, but mostly he seemed to be throwing himself into work, picking up extra shifts.
Her heartache became a part of her, like an uninvited friend who, though she didn’t want to hear it, told her she was still alive. At least she felt something. It was more than most could hope for.
In the two weeks since she’d graced Mitchell’s doorstep, the gardens had closed for the snowy winter and Mel had promised to reassign her.
“Where do you think Mel will put us?” Eloise asked as they hiked farther up the trail to the leader’s house.
“I have no idea.” Mel probably hadn’t had a change of heart about assigning her to guard duty. Sillier hopes had been rewarded though. Not to her, but surely out there in the universe somewhere. More likely kitchen duty would be her lot in life.
“Has Mitchell forgiven you yet?” Eloise asked.
“I don’t think it’s a matter of forgiveness. Mitchell doesn’t hold a grudge like this. He’s always been fast to get over an argument. I think he’s scared of getting close to me.” She shrugged miserably. “Or he’s trying to get over me. It’s the only thing I can think of.” Talking about him didn’t relieve any of the hurt. She was tired of thinking about him, of pining for what could have been. “How are you and Guist doing?”
“Aw, Laney. I don’t want to talk about that when you’re so upset over Mitchell.”
“El, distract me! I need a love story. I’ll live vicariously through you and your happy ending. It is kind of weird that your knight in shining armor is Guist, though.”
“Why’s that?”
“I’ve just known him forever. It’s kind of crazy to see him this happy and considerate after being so robotic for so many years. He even asked me if I wanted him to talk to Mitchell on my behalf, like some sort of matchmaker.”
Eloise’s eyes grew wide. “What did you say?”
“I said no. Well, what I actually said was ‘Hell no, but thanks for the offer.’ I don’t want Mitchell to get mad at him too. I’ve caused enough tension in our team.” She led the way up Mel’s front steps and knocked on the door. “Jarren would roll over in his grave if he knew I seduced his best friend.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if he knew how Mitchell felt all this time. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and remember things he said, and I think he might have.”
Mel opened the door. “Ladies. Come on in.” She stood to the side and let them pass. “Laney, you have an appointment with Dr. Mackey this morning, don’t you?”
“Yep. The highlight of my week.”
“How has that been going?” The statuesque woman opened the door to her office for them.
“I look like a patchwork quilt, but Doc says they’re making progress.”
“Very good. Well, I know you have an appointment to keep so I won’t take up much of your time.” She motioned to the chairs in front of her desk and they took a seat. “Laney, I know you want guard duty, but Sean would have my head on a platter if I okayed it. I tried for you, but that man has a stubborn streak much wider than mine. The best I could do was put you on livestock.”
“Livestock? Like horses and cleaning barns?”
“Mostly cattle. We have a herd we maintain and they provide the beef for the kitchen. We have a barn where we keep pigs, horses, and other animals, but it’s separate. The cattle need more room and are located farther down the mountain where grass grows a little easier in the spring. I know it doesn’t sound that exciting, but our cattle are fenced in, which satisfies Sean. The compromise for you is that you get to leave the colony every day to go to work.”
The tiny consolation still didn’t come close to getting assigned guard duty. Maybe Mel would miss the disappointment in her voice. “Thanks for trying.”
Mel turned to Eloise. “I’m going to give you an option. I know you two have become friends, so I’ll extend the same offer to you. You can be assigned to livestock with Laney or you can do kitchen.”
Eloise didn’t hesitate. “I’ll do livestock. Someone has to keep you safe,” she said to Laney with a wink.
“Guist is going to freak out,” Laney warned.
“Good thing you�
��ve been working with me on weapons.”
Mel gave them directions to work for the next morning. They’d meet a team, two guards and three other cattle workers at the front gates of the colony. They were to take an SUV together down the mountain to work the herd. If they didn’t run into any Deads, it was only a fifteen minute drive down. Mel dismissed them, and Eloise chattered happily down the trail to Dr. Mackey’s office. Though the assignment wasn’t exactly what she’d hoped for, Eloise’s excitement over a new adventure was infectious.
“Doc,” she called as she and Eloise opened the door to his office. “You in?”
“In here,” came his muffled reply.
She followed the sound to the very back room but came to a dead halt.
“What’s she doing here, Adam?” Sabrina asked angrily. She was lying in a medical bed holding a very tiny baby.
“How should I know? I’ll get rid of her.”
Adam grabbed onto Laney’s arm and jerked her painfully from the room.
“Let go of me!” She wrenched her arm from his iron grip.
Adam’s face had gone a very dark shade of red. “Laney, what the hell are you doing here? Is this some sort of game to you? Surely you can understand we need a moment of peace from you.”
“I have an appointment,” she growled. She lifted the edge of her shirt to reveal three small rows of cuts in different stages of healing. “I didn’t know you had your baby. Congratulations, by the way.” She made her voice as sarcastic as she could.
Adam hadn’t taken his eyes from the bloodied butterfly bandages. “What’s going on?”
“Doc is running some tests on me. It’s the reason we came to Dead Run River. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t actually come here to ruin your life.”
“What’s happened?” Dr. Mackey asked as he approached from the lab room.
“Does she really have an appointment?” Adam asked the doctor.
“Yes, she does,” he said testily. “Laney, you’re late.”
“Meeting with Mel,” she snapped.
“All right. Thomas is going to be doing your blood draw today. I think you need a break on the skin samples. He’s in the lab. I’ll be in there after I check on the new mom.”
Eloise gave her a wide-eyed look and led Laney into the lab room. Her friend knew her way around the doctor’s office by now. She’d been coming to all of her recent appointments for moral support. If she couldn’t have Mitchell to hold her hand through it, Eloise was the next best thing.
When they left Dr. Mackey’s office, she made sure to refuse even a glance in the direction of Adam and Sabrina’s room. She was well over him, but she didn’t need their happy little family moment thrown in her face. Eloise burst into laughter as soon as they exited the front porch. Laney tried to glare, but Eloise was doubled over, gasping between giggles.
“Good grief, Laney. You have the worst luck!”
Laney stifled a giggle of her own. “Thanks a lot.”
A few minutes later, Laney wiped tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes. It was a situation that shouldn’t have been funny in any way, but if she couldn’t laugh at herself and the unfortunate circumstances that had taken over her life, she’d cry buckets instead. And from the horrified looks people gave her when she actually shed tears, it was likely she was an ugly crier.
“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” Eloise asked when she’d recovered enough to speak coherently.
“I told Sean I’d take care of Adrianna today. Finn had a late guard shift and Sean has a bunch of work to do at the mill. The weather has been slowing them down out there. I’ll probably take her ice skating on that little pond at the back of the colony or something. What about you?”
“Guist,” they both chanted in unison.
“You eating dinner at mess hall?” Eloise asked.
“Yep. I’ll see you guys there.”
They said goodbye, and Laney headed straight for Finn’s trailer. He was hanging out with Adrianna while Sean worked, but she knew Finn needed as much sleep as he could get. Those night shifts were grueling on the guards.
Finn had propped a lawn chair in the snow in front of his trailer. He laughed as he watched Adrianna try unsuccessfully to throw snowballs in his direction. The child was bundled with so many layers she looked like a pink marshmallow. Laney pressed her finger to her lips and slunk behind Adrianna. She scooped up a handful of snow and lobbed it at the child’s feet.
“Laney!” Adrianna exclaimed, giggling with the challenge of trying to hit a moving target.
Finn waved and disappeared into his trailer. When Adrianna tired herself out, Laney took her into Sean’s house to warm up. She was accustomed to Sean’s cabin. In the two weeks since she had decided he would make horrible boyfriend material, the tension had eased between them. She couldn’t explain what had caused it in the first place, but after they both accepted each other in a platonic way, they simply didn’t argue as much. Sean still had a way of getting under her skin from time to time, but he wasn’t offensive anymore. It was just part of who he was and his douchebaggery failed to offend her. She shook her head at his behavior, sighed in frustration, and moved on, grateful it wasn’t her job to condition him to be more supportive and sensitive in a relationship. Whoever he ended up with could undertake that endeavor. She had been over to Sean’s house on several occasions for meals and to watch Adrianna when she had down time. She enjoyed spending time with the child, and she knew Sean was busy trying to earn a living for them.
She toasted a grilled cheese for Adrianna’s lunch and stoked the fire in the wood burning stove in the living room while she ate. “What do you want to do today?”
“Can we go fishing?”
“I wish. The river is covered in ice though. It would be pretty hard to get the fly to the fish. I think they are probably sleeping and not very hungry anyway. What about ice skating?”
“What’s ice skating?”
“I’ll show you. It’ll be a new adventure, but your daddy said before we do anything today he wants you to take a nap. He said you’re a monster in the evening if you don’t get a nap,” she said through a grin.
The little girl jumped up and started to pretend to take bites on her arm. Laney grabbed her up and made chomping sounds while she tickled her. It might have been inappropriate, but there wasn’t a game in existence more fun than zombie attack. Besides, after what the child had seen and been through, the lighter they could make the subject, the better.
She snuggled Adrianna on the couch in the living room closest to the fire. Pulling a thick blanket over them, she sang to the girl until her eyes became heavy.
“Hush-a-by, don’t you cry,
Go to sleep little baby,
When you wake, you shall have,
All the pretty little horses.
Paint and Bay, Sorrel and Gray,
All the pretty little horses.
Hush-a-by, don’t you cry,
Go to sleep, little baby.”
It was Adrianna’s favorite lullaby. That suited Laney just fine because it was the only one she remembered her own mother singing to her when she was little. When Adrianna had fallen asleep and was breathing deeply, Laney relaxed beside her and watched the slow falling snow out of the window.
She thought of her lost family: Mom, Dad, and Jarren. She wished they could have made it long enough to find such a peaceful place amidst the tragedy of the outbreak. Maybe it would have made their violent passing easier.
After Adrianna woke, she took her to the frozen pond in the back of the colony. She strapped two ill-fitting pairs of ice skates she’d borrowed from Mel to their feet and pulled Adrianna around in slow, careful circles. They weren’t the only ones with the idea. Other colony members came to skate or to socialize in small groups. She recognized a few of them and joined in their conversation while Adrianna skated with two little boys around her age.
She pulled her jacket more tightly around herself. “Come on, Adrianna. It’s g
etting close to dinner and we need to get you in some dry clothes.”
Adrianna came surprisingly easily. She must have been exhausted from all the physical exertion to come so obediently. Laney took her hand and led her through the gray haze of early evening, only to be pulled up short by Mitchell’s approach. An unavoidable smile lit her face, but when he looked up, he halted and searched the woods with frantic eyes like he sought an escape. The gesture hurt more than she thought it could have.
“Hey, Mitchell,” she greeted him.
“Hey,” he sighed.
“Adrianna, do you remember Mitchell?”
The girl waved shyly from behind her leg, and Mitchell smiled at her.
“Did you go ice skating?” he asked.
“Yes, I went around and around.”
“Good, that means you warmed up the pond for me,” he said, showing her the skates dangling from his hands. “You girls have a good day.” He eased around Laney.
She waved to his receding back as regret pulled at her like a strong current.
Sean met her and Adrianna at dinner in the mess hall.
“You’re actually eating with the rest of us peasants tonight?” Laney teased.
“Shut up,” he said around a bite of scalloped potatoes just as Eloise and Guist joined them. She knew the exact moment when Mitchell walked through the door to mess hall. She knew because she’d been looking for him. Guist waved him over to their table, but Mitchell stayed only long enough to gulp down his food before he left with a mumbled goodbye. His aloofness toward her was like a dagger. On top of that pain, she was the cause of all of this tension and unhappiness for Guist, who tried to remain neutral. “I’m Switzerland!” he’d say.