by J. M. Briggs
“Uh yeah,” Nicki replied with a sheepish look, “But actually I wanted to ask about the winter solstice? Are Sídhe going to come through then, will we be safe?”
Morgana looked over at Merlin, “You didn't tell them?”
“I assumed that you had,” Merlin countered with a shrug of his own and a nervous chuckle. “Oh well, Nicki caught it.”
“When is the winter solstice?” Bran asked Nicki with a look of worry.
“December 21,” Nicki answered quickly before looking back at Morgana and Merlin. “So…”
Merlin gave her a gentle smile. “A very good question Nicole, but the solstice is an alignment day along with the equinoxes. On alignment days the magic of our realm is strongest and the protections around Earth are at their best. In two thousand eight hundred years the Sídhe have never tried to enter our realm on any alignment day, even when their tunnels and doorways into our realm were at their peak.”
Everyone relaxed a little and Alex let out an audible sigh of relief. Morgana stepped forward and added, “Of course the opposite is true on seasonal days which are days that the protections between realms are thin because of the change taking place from season to season. On Samhain, Imbolc, Beltane and Lùnastal when the power of earth is focused on the transition to the next season, it is easiest for the Sídhe to come into our realm.”
“The next season day is Imbolc on February 1st”, Merlin explained, smiling at them.
“But it is possible that the Sídhe are gaining enough strength to come through before that,” Morgana added sharply. “So keep your iron daggers with you at all times. The Sídhe’s new gateway is near Ravenslake, but Hounds can go a great distance in one night if their masters command it.”
“Why only one night?” Nicki asked as she raised her hand. “Do they have to return to their realm within a certain period of time?”
“The Sídhe don't like our daylight,” Merlin told her with a glance at Morgana. “It doesn't harm them, but their natural environment is much darker. That is why even when they have a foothold in our world they stay underground. But as far as I know, a Sídhe could stay in our realm for many years if they could avoid iron.”
“So we're safe on December 21st and during the daylight hours,” Bran confirmed with a nod. “Good to know and now I'm looking forward to heading home.”
Alex nodded in agreement and pulled her coat on, suddenly feeling colder than she had before. Glancing at the others, she met Aiden's gaze and he gave her a soft encouraging smile. Giving him a small nod of thanks in return, Alex managed a tiny smile.
“I think that is enough for tonight,” Merlin said as Nicki's hand started to go up again. “Study hard for your finals and travel safely if you are leaving Ravenslake.” He looked directly at Nicki and Aiden, “And if the two of you want, I have some iron filings that I can give you for your homes. Old iron horseshoes are also very effective.”
“Noted,” Aiden remarked as he swung his backpack up onto his shoulder. “Have a good….uh happy holidays professors,” he decided on tentatively.
“I love Christmas,” Merlin assured Aiden with a laugh. “Although Morgana remains rather traditional.”
“I enjoy the winter solstice,” Morgana huffed, “And most of the Christmas traditions are based-”
“If you don't want a lecture about holiday traditions being stolen from pagans then I suggest that you kids get moving,” Merlin said loudly earning him a glare from Morgana.
They filed out of the room, two by two with Bran and Aiden leading the way and Nicki and Alex following.
“So doing anything special for the holidays?” Aiden asked Bran as they began to work their way up the stairs, everyone slowing down for Bran without any awkwardness.
“My mom's sister is visiting us this year,” Bran remarked with a shrug. “That will be nice for my mom even if Aunt Haeun is kinda crazy.”
“Haeun?” Alex repeated in surprise.
“I’m half Korean Alex, my grandparents came over with my mom and aunt when they were kids.” Bran explained with a chuckle. Seeing her confused look he added, “I look more like my dad than mom. It happens.”
“What about your dad's family?” Nicki questioned without missing a beat. “Will you be seeing any of them?”
“My paternal grandparents died a few years back and dad was an only child,” Bran answered with a slight shrug. “What about you guys?”
“We're doing Christmas dinner with Aiden's family,” Nicki informed him with a wide grin. “Gran loves the annual reading of The Dead.”
“The Dead?” Alex repeated with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, my granddad Conner is stubbornly Irish,” Aiden replied with a laugh as Nicki chuckled. “The Dead is by James Joyce, it is sort of the Irish version of a Christmas Carol, he reads it every Christmas. And on my Italian side we sort of celebrate the Feast of Epiphany with another round of gifts in our stockings on January 6th which traditionally is when the witch La Befana delivers gifts.”
“I've never heard of that before,” Bran remarked as Aiden pulled open the main door and gestured for everyone to go through.
Alex shivered as they stepped out into the dark night, but the steps had been cleaned of snow and the sky was clear.
“I'm not surprised,” Aiden said, replying to Bran last remark as he joined them outside and pulled on his gloves. “It's never really taken off in America. My dad only does it because his parents did.”
They stayed together, chatting a little more about the upcoming holidays and their finals. Alex joined in on occasion, but her mind was unsettled by the stress of finals and the looming question of when she'd ever connect properly to her magic. Despite the sidewalks mostly being clean, she had a small layer of snow on her shoes by the time they reached the dormitories from kicking at the snow burs along the sidewalks. Aiden once again gave her an encouraging smile before he and Nicki vanished into the Michaels building.
“You'll get it figured out,” Bran suddenly said as they crossed the snow covered lawn between Michaels Hall and Hatfield. “Don't worry so much.”
“I'm not worried,” Alex automatically defended before she caught the look Bran was giving her. “Okay, maybe I am a little. Being the last one to find the connection isn't fun. You at least had visions even before all of his started.”
“As I recall you weren't particularly interested in magic in the first place,” Bran teased gently.
Giving him a look, Alex huffed softly before answering, “That was before we were ambushed by the Hounds.” She shivered at the memory, “I just… I want to be able to protect myself.”
“It will come,” Bran told her firmly, “I don't doubt that. You shouldn't either.”
They finished the trek in silence, their feet crunching against what little snow had not already been trod down and the metallic shift of Bran's brace. When Alex stepped into the warmth of her dormitory she sighed in relief. Bran gave her a small wave and wished her luck with her finals before he headed for his own room. Climbing the stairs, Alex pulled off her gloves and tried to shift her brain back to school subjects, but the nagging feeling of disappointment remained.
An hour Alex was slouching forward on her left elbow and scrolling through her notes with a vacate expression as her free hand tapped on the desk. Her dorm room was quiet, blending in with the entire still floor of her dormitory as everyone buckled down for their final tests. The silence in her own room was eased only by the steady tapping of her fingers against the desk.
A knock on the door made Alex jump and turn to look at it in surprise. Blinking at the door, she tried to bring herself back to normal life outside of physics problems. There was another knock and she jumped up from her chair, tugging a strand of loose hair behind her ear before opening the door.
It was Arthur, standing with his hands in the pockets of a black winter coat. He gave Alex a small smile that didn't reach his eyes before looking over her shoulder into the room.
“Jenny's not here hu
h,” he said, looking to Alex for confirmation.
“No, she's been gone all evening as far as I know,” Alex apologized before side stepping so he could come into the room. “Didn't she answer her phone?”
“No,” Arthur told Alex with a sigh, running a hand through his hair in agitation. He looked back at Alex and asked, “Has she said anything about being mad at me? It's like she's been avoiding me for weeks now and I can't think of anything I've done.”
Swallowing, Alex took in the information with a sense of surprise. Her magic lessons had kept her busy almost every evening for the last six weeks around fencing club and her soccer intermural team and she was often working on homework during meals with them. A sense of guilt rushed through her at the thought she'd been neglecting her first friends on campus and wondered if Jenny's more and more distant responses had been her fault
“I'm sorry Arthur,” Alex replied softly. “She hasn't said anything, maybe she's just busy and loosing track of things.”
“Like you,” Arthur questioned, tilting his head slightly to look at her. “We haven't really talked lately either.”
“Yeah,” Alex admitted with a shamed look, “That's my fault. Sorry.”
“Don't be,” Arthur told her quickly. “I shouldn't have mentioned it; I'm the one who had his life ruled by football for months. I can't talk and maybe that's all this is. Jenny got used to doing her own thing and now that football's over I'm overreacting.”
He didn't look completely convinced, but his shoulders were squared and his eyes were lighter. Smiling in return, Alex felt her heart pound a little harder in her chest, but shoved the feeling away. Rather than staying any longer, Arthur simply asked Alex to let Jenny know that he'd stopped by and apologized for interrupting her study session. Closing the door behind him, Alex leaned against with a sigh and let her mind wonder where Jenny was. Thinking back on the last month, Alex recognized that her roommate had been coming home at odd hours, often not returning until after nine when Alex was already home from magic lessons. Jenny had seemed happy when she and Arthur had gone back to California for Thanksgiving, but had been agitated upon her return. Shaking her head, Alex returned to her desk and tried to focus on her notes for her final.
A few more minutes passed and Alex's mind would not settle. An image of Arthur's downtrodden expression was burned into her brain along with the enduring disappointment of the evening. Leaning back in her chair, Alex took in a low and slow breath as her eyes slid closed. The room was too hot, too stuffy and feeling smaller with each moment. There was a twitch in her body, a need to move or scream that was itching its way up her spine. Gripping the desk, Alex took another deep breath and tried to center herself. She had a final test the next day at 10AM and needed to review at least a dozen more things. Her brain intellectually knew this, but the itch at the back of her head was growing worse.
Standing up with a huff of frustration and defeat, Alex toed out of her slippers and pulled on her boots before grabbing her coat and gloves. She pulled a black knit hat with the university's logo over the top of her head and bundled up. Alex collected her bag, locked the door and headed for the stairs.
Outside Hatfield hall almost everything was quiet, a few students were moving between the buildings or towards the parking lots. She stood on the front steps and looked up at the sky for a few moments, but the light of the dorms meant that the stars were dim. Sighing again, Alex stepped away from the main entrance and headed for the arboretum path.
Snow crunched softly beneath Alex's boots as she followed the path out towards the lake. The lampposts cast a soft glow over the area, making even the week old snow look fresh and white. Alex enjoyed the silence and breathed in the chilly air, appreciating the freshness of it and even the tang of ice that it carried. There was no one around in any direction, but her hand slipped into her bag where her gloved fingers touched the soft leather of her dagger sheath. Up ahead was a bench that was clear of snow and ice looking out towards the lake through the bare trees of the arboretum. Alex sat down on it, tapping her foot against the cement base and watched her breath on the air for several minutes.
Looking around, Alex withdrew her hand from her bag and removed her glove. Her skin tingled in the cold night air, but Alex ignored it. Taking in a long deep breath, Alex tried to calm her thoughts and connect to her magic. Nothing happened, but she let her eyes slide closed and tried again. Morgana's soothing voice from their second magic lesson returned to her and she tried to follow the instructions for mediation. Her heartbeat was too loud and the taste of the wind on her lips was too distracting. Sighing, Alex opened her eyes and looked down at her hand with despair.
“It will come,” Morgana's voice suddenly spoke up from her right.
Standing up, Alex spun to the right with wide eyes only to find Professor Cornwall standing behind her in a long black double breasted coat with a blue knit hat. She was watching Alex with a strangely soft look of amusement and concern. For a moment neither of them moved until Morgana gestured to the bench.
“May I join you?”
Alex blinked at the question, but nodded as she slowly relaxed. She stayed standing until Morgana had walked to the bench and gracefully sat down on the bench. Swallowing, Alex pulled her glove back on and wondered if she was going to be scolded for attempting magic in public. Of course, the question of how did Morgana know she'd be outside nagged at her.
“I come out here when I need to think and get out of my office,” Morgana offered in a gentle voice as she looked out towards the lake. “The light here is calmer than in the city proper and the sight of the lake takes me back.”
“To simpler times?” Alex questioned without thinking.
“No,” Morgana answered, “Just different times.” Her professor turned her attention to Alex, her green eyes studying her. “You have magic Alex, you need not feel any doubt about that. Building a connection is an individual challenge that is always distinct. You are special amongst the people of this realm, you have the power to protect it.”
“I'm nothing special,” Alex insisted, looking at her hands and twisting them nervously. “I'm pretty average. Reasonably smart and athletic, pretty and tall, but I've never been one of those girls.”
“Those girls?” Morgana questioned and Alex could hear the raised eyebrow without looking at her professor.
“Really smart, really athletic or really pretty,” Alex offered with a halfhearted shrug. “Except for my height I'm average and I'm okay with that,” she added with a rush. “I'm not cut out for this magic thing!”
“I thought you liked the idea of being a mage?”
Alex shrugged again, still not looking at Morgana and focusing on the ice slowly cracking underneath her foot as she pushed down. She collected her thoughts for a few moments before responding to the question.
“I did sort of,” Alex replied softly. “I grew up on magical stories that had me looking around corners for something magical for years. But this isn't just saying a spell or waving a wand. There isn't one evil person leading an army, but a whole other world that wants to invade us with other beings from other realms. And there are only six mages, not an entire hidden subculture to turn to.” Alex took in a much needed breathe before shrugging again, “It just hasn't been what I imagined and I suck at it.”
Laughing softly, Morgana reached over and squeezed Alex's shoulder gently. “Feel better?” the older mage asked.
Slumping back against the chilled bench, Alex sighed softly feeling both embarrassed and a little relieved at her rant. “I guess,” she said, drawing some comfort from Morgana's unusual gesture of concern. “But maybe I shouldn't keep doing magic lessons with the others.”
“Since they can use magic now and you can't,” Morgana observed with a nod. “I can understand that. Watching them start studying magical techniques while you still can't connect would be frustrating.”
That remark didn't help Alex's mood. Of course it was accurate, but it made her sound like some kind of qu
itter. “It's not just that,” Alex added quickly. “I don't want them trying to make me feel better and not learning what they need. Maybe I have a bit of magic, but I don't think I'm really a mage.”
“Why?”
“Nicki is doing ice sculptures and controlling water,” Alex sighed, nibbling at her lip. “Aiden can make fire in his hand now, not to mention light candles at a distance and Bran not only has his visions, but now he can move things with his mind. He's been feeling his connection getting closer and closer for three weeks now, but I can't feel a thing. Its finals week and I've got nothing.”
“As I said, finding a connection is a very personal thing,” Morgana reminded her before falling silent for a long moment. “You are special Alex, but you've led a very ordinary life until now. You have a loving family, a nice home and have never been challenged beyond high school drama.”