She bent down to get a closer look. ‘This village. I just love it. Look, there’s a schoolroom. A bakery. Santa’s workshop. A church. A shop. There’s even a skating rink.’
Riley was right behind her and, instead of stepping around her, he just slid his hand forward, brushing against her hip as he turned one of the price tags over. His cheek was almost touching hers. ‘They’re not too expensive.’ Then he gave a low laugh. ‘That’s if you only buy one. If you buy the whole village...’
She laughed too, leaning back a little, her body coming into direct contact with his. Neither moved. It was as if both of them just paused, and sucked in a breath.
After the longest time Riley spoke, his warm breath at her neck. ‘Which is your favourite?’
She looked over the village again. There were tiny characters in every scene, packages on shelves, mounds of snow at doorways, each one gently lit. Everything was so detailed. She sighed. ‘I don’t know. I think I love them all. I want the whole village.’
She reached down and picked up the toyshop. ‘This is like the kind of thing where you could buy one every year, build up your collection and keep them for ever.’
He was smiling at her, only inches from her face. He reached and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes, his hand covering hers as she held the shop. ‘So how about you let me buy you your first one? As a thank you,’ he added, ‘for coming here with us today.’
The twinkling lights were behind them, but even though his face was in shadow his green eyes seemed brighter than ever. And they were focused totally on her.
She held her breath. Her hand itched to reach up and touch his dark hair that glistened with moisture from the snow outside. His cheeks were tinged with pink. Those green eyes were still, just locked with hers, and as she watched he licked his lips. Every nerve in her body was on fire. Every sense on overload.
He reached up again, this time his finger touching her cheek. ‘Let me do something for you, April.’
The rush of emotion tumbled through her in waves. When was the last time someone had spoken to her like that? When was the last time she’d wanted someone to get this close? It felt like for ever. It felt like a whole lifetime ago.
A lifetime before her sister’s vague symptoms. Shock diagnosis. Frantic treatment attempts. And the life just slowly draining from her body.
He made the smallest move. His cheek touched hers as his lips brushed against her ear. ‘A toyshop. Along with the superhero T-shirts, I think you might secretly be a Peter Pan kind of girl.’
She could sense he was smiling.
Her eyes were closed, the toyshop held in front of her chest. She turned towards him just as his head pulled back from her ear.
Every part of her literally ached. Ached for his lips to touch hers.
Then, before she had time to think any more, his lips brushed against hers. The sensation was just as sweet as she’d imagined. Every bit as magical.
His hand tangled in her hair as the gentlest pressure increased.
She wanted this. She wanted this more than she’d ever imagined.
But just this—the slightest kiss—put her sensations into overload. Every part of her brain fired. She was starting something she might not be able to continue. She was taking what could not be hers. She was kissing a man she hadn’t been entirely truthful with.
She trembled as the feelings threatened to overwhelm her and her eyes filled with tears. She pulled back.
Riley rested his head against hers. ‘April? What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?’
She shook her head quickly. ‘No. Of course you didn’t.’
‘But—’ he started.
She placed her hand on his chest and gave him a regretful smile. Everything about the kiss had been right.
And everything about the kiss had been wrong.
‘It’s just not the right time,’ she said as she looked around.
For a brief second she could see the flash of confusion, but then he glanced around and gave a nod.
Her heart squeezed in her chest. He thought she meant here, in the garden centre, was the wrong time. But she meant so much more than that.
Riley looked around and spotted Finn racing around a Christmas tree. He gave an approving smile and dropped to his knees, looking under the table and emerging with a box in his hand. ‘Look. The toyshop. You can take it home.’
She felt a pang inside.
Home. She wasn’t quite sure what that meant for her any more.
Her flat had seemed so empty the other night after Finn and Riley had left. Her footsteps had echoed around the place. She’d never noticed that before.
Before it had been her haven. Her quiet place. Now, she was just conscious of the fact it had seemed so full with the two of them in it.
‘Dad! I want these ones!’ Both of them jerked at the sound of Finn’s voice. He’d found blue twinkling stars wrapped around one of the trees.
Riley nodded in approval. He gave her a wink. ‘Come on then. We’ve got more shopping to do.’
He walked off towards Finn and her stomach clenched. Riley had the box with the toyshop tucked under his arm. He was going to buy it for her.
As a thank you.
But when she’d thought about buying a piece of the village every year, she’d never really imagined just doing it for herself. She’d imagined it with a family around her.
Finn squealed as his dad threw him up in the air. ‘April, I’ve picked the blue ones! Come and see.’
Her lips tingled. Riley’s aftershave still filled her senses.
She glanced around. Christmas surrounded her. Both the best and worst time of year for some people. She could almost hear Mallory’s voice in her head urging her on.
One kiss. That was all it had been. But she wanted so much more.
Right now, it just didn’t feel honest, and she hated that more than anything. She licked her lips and looked around.
Was it wrong to want to enjoy this time with Riley and Finn? Was it wrong to join in with their celebrations? Mallory was whispering in her ear again. Go on.
Riley caught her eye. ‘Okay?’ he mouthed.
She nodded and walked over to join them. It was time to stop brooding about things and start enjoying life. ‘Come on, guys.’ She looked at the toyshop box and the Christmas lights. ‘Oh, no, we’re not finished yet. Someone grab a basket. We’re going to shop till we drop.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
PLANS SEEMED TO be bursting from his head. Riley was buzzing. He couldn’t wait to find April and tell her.
For the first time since all this had happened, things seemed to be falling into place.
He’d kissed her. He’d finally kissed her and it just felt so right. And all he could think about was kissing her again.
Okay, so she’d pulled back. Maybe April was more private than most. Maybe she didn’t like being kissed in a public place. But that was okay. He could handle that. He could deal with that.
As long as he could kiss her again.
And even though he was currently bursting with excitement there was a tiny part of him that wondered if there could be something else—something else going on with April. He was sure it wasn’t another man. April would never have let their spark and attraction grow if there was another man in the background.
She still hadn’t really talked that much about her sister. Maybe it was just Christmas and the time of year? It just felt as if there was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on yet. But he had to give her space. If he wanted to have some kind of relationship with April, he had to trust her to tell him the things he needed to know. Right now he should be concentrating on Finn.
His mother had stopped calling ten times a day. April had shown him a Top Ten list of Christmas toys for
boys and it had been the biggest blessing in disguise. Finn seemed to like a whole range of things, so he’d handed the list over to his mother and asked her to track down what she could.
She’d been delighted. It had been a brilliant idea and he could hug April for it. Gran was over the moon to have a task related to her grandson and was tackling the list like a seasoned pro.
Finn seemed to be settling well. The crying at night had stopped after the first week. He was still wistful at times, and Riley encouraged him to talk about his mum as often as he liked.
Riley was finally making peace with the pictures of Isabel around the place. April had been right. It was good for Finn and that was what mattered. And, if all went to plan, they would have a place to permanently call home soon.
Work was still something he had to sort out, but he had plans for that too.
But he still didn’t really have plans in his head for April.
He liked her. He more than liked her. He wanted to move things on. As soon as he set foot on the ward in the morning, the first thing he did was look for the swing of her blonde ponytail. Last night he’d nearly texted her around five or six times. He’d had to dial back in and only text twice. And it was all nonsense. Nothing that couldn’t wait until the next time he saw her. But that had just seemed too far away.
If the phone buzzed and the screen lit up with her name he could feel the smile on his face before he’d even pressed the phone to his ear.
And it was ridiculous. Because sometimes it was actually about work.
He knew he should only be concentrating on Finn. Of course he should be. But there was something about April Henderson. The way she sometimes caught his gaze and gave him a quiet smile. The expression on her face when they’d been in the garden centre and she’d looked at all the Christmas decorations. But, more importantly, it was how he felt around her. It had been a long time since his heart had skipped a few beats at the sight of a woman. It had been a long time since he’d met someone he’d felt a real connection to. But even though it had been the briefest kiss, even though they hadn’t really acted yet on the growing bond between them, Riley knew that at some stage he would take things further.
He knew there was more. Her sister had died of ovarian cancer. That must have been tough. It must have been a shock for her family. Maybe she was just quiet right now because it was the lead-up to Christmas. Tomorrow would be the first day of December. Finn would get to open the first door on his Advent calendar, though Riley was almost sure it wouldn’t last that long.
In the meantime, Riley had to find April. He wanted to share his news. Maybe when she knew for sure that he and Finn planned on staying around it might take them to the next stage. He’d told her he was staying, but she’d looked as if she hadn’t really been convinced.
His plans had changed. He’d found what he had been looking for, but the funny thing was, when he’d seen the house he hadn’t just imagined Finn and himself being in it. If someone had told him this a few months ago, that he could see himself staying in one place and settling down, he wouldn’t have believed them. But April was making those plans seem real. They weren’t even dating yet. But he planned on remedying that soon.
Maybe proving he planned on staying around could be the key to opening her heart.
* * *
‘Come here—I want to show you something.’
April looked over her shoulder. No one else was around. ‘Are you talking to me?’ She couldn’t stop the little pang she felt as soon as she heard his voice.
Riley glanced around. ‘Who else would I be talking to? Here—’ he spun the laptop around ‘—look at this.’
She bent down to see what he’d pulled up. Her eyebrows shot up. ‘A house?’
He nodded. The excitement was written all over his face as his fingers moved over the keyboard.
She wasn’t quite sure what to say. ‘But Finn has just moved here. You can’t want to move him again?’ She’d phrased it as a question, but she hoped he’d get the hint.
He looked at her in surprise. ‘But where we’re staying is only temporary. It won’t do. Not long-term.’
She licked her lips. ‘So...your long-term is here?’
He shrugged. ‘I told you it was. Where else would it be?’
This was going to take longer than she’d thought. She hitched her hip up onto the desk. ‘Have you spoken to the Colonel?’
He shook his head. ‘But I did try and get an appointment. Why?’
She wasn’t part of the forces but had been here long enough to know how things usually worked. ‘I thought he just let you stay here as a temporary measure? Won’t you maybe have to change regiment or posting to get a permanent headquarters?’
What she really wanted to say was, Are you crazy for considering buying a house right now?
But she didn’t. She kept her thoughts in her head. Riley flicked through the pictures. It was a large grey Georgian sandstone semi. The house was full of character. Original doors, large sash windows with internal shutters. A huge fireplace. A large drawing room, separate dining room and a smaller room at the back they could make into a snug. A kitchen that had been renovated with a Belfast sink. Two bathrooms. The wide entranceway and sweeping staircase gave her a pang of envy. Long-term, she’d always wanted to own a house like this. The bedrooms. Three of them. And a large garden at the back of the house—big enough for a kid to play football in.
Riley couldn’t stop smiling and she wasn’t quite sure what to say. It was ideal—a family home and something like that seemed so far out of her grasp right now.
She could almost picture the perfect woman who’d be standing next to him in a few years with a new baby in a pram to complete the family. And that hurt in a way she could never have imagined.
‘It’s for sale, but I could temporarily rent it for a few months—try it out for size—with a view to buying it. It’s even in the right catchment area for Finn’s school.’ He gave her a nudge with his elbow. ‘See? I’m learning.’
He was. Riley was getting the hang of things quicker than she’d given him credit for. He had no idea about the fact she could barely breathe right now.
Since when had she started having such irrational thoughts?
‘When could you start renting?’ she managed to ask.
‘This week,’ he answered quickly. ‘The owner has moved to Japan. He just really wants someone to either buy the house or move in and take care of it.’
April thudded backwards in her seat. She still wasn’t sure what to say. Riley hadn’t seemed to notice. He was either too excited or too swept up in the idea to figure out she’d stopped talking.
He sat back too. ‘So, if I sign the agreement tomorrow, Finn and I can move in the next few days.’ He pointed at some of the décor. ‘It maybe isn’t perfect but it’s in good condition. I can give the place a lick of paint. That’s all it really needs.’
The thoughts jumbling around in April’s mind started to sort themselves into some kind of order. Practical things. That was what she could think of. At least they were the kind of things she could say out loud. ‘You’ll need furniture. You don’t have a sofa or a dining room table. Or beds. It’s only a few weeks until Christmas. Riley, do you have any idea how much stuff you’ll need?’ She started to shake her head.
The smile had faded a little. ‘Well, just the stuff you’ve said. A sofa, a table and some beds. What else is there?’
April leaned forward and pulled a piece of paper from the printer. ‘Here, let me get you started.’ She wrote down the things they’d just mentioned, then started adding more. ‘Cushions, cutlery, dishes, lamps, towels, bedding...’ She frowned and turned the computer towards her. ‘What comes with the kitchen? Do you need a washer, dryer and fridge freezer?’
Riley looked pale. ‘You’re beginning to sound like my mothe
r.’
‘Does your mother think you need a reality check?’ She sighed and put down the pen. ‘What happens if they move your base?’
He pressed his lips together and looked around. ‘I might not be in the army much longer.’
‘What?’ She couldn’t help it—she said the word much louder than she meant to.
‘Shh—’ he put his finger to his lips ‘—I haven’t decided yet. I’ve just started to look into other options.’
‘Like what?’ A strange feeling was spreading through her. Like any serviceman, there was always a chance he would get moved. But she hadn’t expected him to consider other options like this.
‘I’ve looked at a few things. I could go into one of the training schemes at the local general hospital. I have a lot of experience. The most natural places would be accident and emergency, general surgery or orthopaedics.’ He held up his hands. ‘I could even look into infectious diseases, but the nearest place for that is around thirty miles away. Or...’ His voice tailed off.
‘Or what?’ She was incredulous. When had he had a chance to think about any of this—his career plans or the house?
‘I could think about training as a GP. It takes a year, and would have better hours for me.’
‘You could still work here.’ Where had that come from? And even she could hear the edge of desperation in her voice. ‘Not all the staff here are service personnel. There’s a mix of NHS and army personnel throughout Waterloo Court.’
He met her gaze. It was the first time since they’d sat down. ‘I don’t know if rehab is for me, April.’
It was like a spear into her heart. She gulped. He wasn’t talking directly about her, but he might as well have. This was the place she’d chosen to work. This was the career path she wanted. It didn’t matter that only a few weeks ago she’d known in her heart that he wasn’t really a rehab doctor. It was all right for her to think those things. It felt entirely different when he said them to her.
It was almost as if Riley was saying it wasn’t good enough for him.
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