by Mia Garcia
“I saw you earlier in Miss Anderson’s office,” Lee said, popping open her soda can. “What homework did she give you?”
No one left Miss Anderson’s office without homework. When her fingers started to reach for her notebook again, Jess shoved it into her bag, concentrating on eating the heck out of the baby carrots. “College stuff—mainly scholarships.”
“Oh, which ones?” Beth asked.
“Not sure yet. Which is why we met, she wants me to have a game plan, a list of scholarships to apply to,” Jess continued. “They’d slipped my mind with all the SAT stuff, so it was a good reminder.”
She couldn’t let anything else slip her mind. Especially not something like a scholarship.
Though her parents worked full-time, she knew it would be hard on them to send both David and Jess to school at the same time. And she may have seen some second-mortgage paperwork tucked into her mother’s purse the other day. Miss Anderson wanted Jess to make a list of at least ten scholarships to go through, but as Jess thought of those papers she wondered if that was enough.
“She means well.” Jess shrugged.
“Oh,” Nora exclaimed. Then she rummaged through her backpack. “I have something for you.”
“Did you figure out your resolutions?” Jess said with a smile. She should’ve asked sooner, but it had also slipped her mind. But Nora would’ve told her if she had, she reassured herself. Don’t add more things to worry about.
Nora stuck her tongue out and unfolded the bright-yellow paper. “No—for Ryan.”
He perked up, reaching for it. “Nora loves me best, don’t be jealous.” He looked over the paper. “A gallery?”
“An exhibit, a gallery exhibit, I’m pretty sure I read it right. Thought it might be interesting.” Nora took the paper back and placed it on the table where they could all read it. “It sounded pretty cool, it’s an art exhibit all about different artists using old art movements and making them their own. You might”—she shrugged—“find it inspiring or something. They also have a virtual tour, so you don’t have to go anywhere.”
Ryan scanned the paper again. The exhibit was titled “The Sincerest Form of Flattery” and boasted some of the best up-and-coming artists in Colorado. Ryan nodded but didn’t look overly excited about it. Did the second resolution still feel daunting even though he was almost done with his art class? “Does sound pretty cool. Thanks.”
They all bounced to the next topic. Jess nodded and tried to follow along, but her mind took her back to the yellow paper in front of her. She watched Ryan as he swirled the ketchup around on his plate like he was working with a palette. Dark lines of carbon edged his fingernails, bringing a smile to Jess’s face. She’d missed his paint-stained hands and the splotches of sneaky color that hid behind his ear because he would touch his neck without noticing.
Nora was the same but with sugar; at least once a month Nora came to school with some form of food caught in a strand of hair.
The carbon-stained fingers were a great sign.
Lee laughed, throwing her head back. Jess couldn’t shake the fact that she’d let Lee down with the lessons no matter how many times she’d said it was fine. But it wasn’t just that; she’d also been looking forward to hanging out with Lee.
It all came down to time again—it felt like they had so little of it.
She reached for the flyer, her eyes landed on the address and she plugged it into her phone, an idea immediately forming.
“Why not go in person?” Jess said.
Nora stopped first. “What?”
Jess held up the paper. “Why don’t we just go? It’s two, okay, maybe three hours to Salida. And wouldn’t it be better if we saw it in person?”
They’d never done a road trip, and having that time together would be fun. Plus, it would be nice to think of something that wasn’t the SATs or the test she had to take in a few minutes. At least that’s what her heart told her.
“You might even meet some of the artists, Ryan.” That didn’t make Ryan as happy as she thought it would. “Or not.”
“I don’t know,” Lee said. “It’s pretty short notice. . . .”
“Oh, come on! It would be fun—Nora, you can be in charge of the music. Ryan and I can switch off driving, and Lee can snark from the back.”
“I want to resent that division of labor, but it’s pretty accurate,” Lee said.
“We can also do a bus, it doesn’t matter.” Why was everyone so reluctant about it? Jess was usually the overplanner, and according to the resolutions the one that needed to “loosen up.” “Don’t you want to see the art up close?”
“Let me think about it,” Ryan finally said.
“I’ll check with my mom, but I’m not sure I can take the day off.”
“We can do it Sunday,” Jess said. “You guys are closed on Sundays.”
“That could work,” Nora agreed. “Though I heard there’s supposed to be another good party that weekend.”
Jess rolled her eyes. “Who cares about crappy parties? The last one wasn’t even that good.”
“Hey!” Nora said with a pout. “I liked it.”
They would not miss this road-trip opportunity for just another party. She could look forward to the road trip. Another party felt like the last thing she needed. “They aren’t that hard to throw and there will be another one before you know it. Anyone can throw a party.”
“Then you throw one,” Ryan said with a devious smile. Catching Jess off guard.
“What?” Where was this going? This was about the gallery, not Jess. “I’m talking about the show. We should totally go.”
“Yeah, I got that. I’ll think about it.” Ryan stuffed the flyer in his bag. “Getting back to the party thing, though.”
“Uh, Ryan.” Lee’s eyes were wide, and she was trying to get Ryan’s attention. “Maybe not the best time with finals and SATs.”
“Not now, obviously,” Ryan said, “but my comment still stands, Miss Anyone-Can-Throw-a-Party.”
Ugh.
Did she have to? Technically, yes, she reminded herself.
She exhaled, which everyone took as a yes.
“Don’t look so sullen.” Ryan put his arm around her as the bell rang. “We aren’t going to leave you to the wolves. Consider us your party planners.”
“Really?” The thought of her friends helping her eased the growing panic to a manageable worry.
“Of course!” Nora said, looping her arm around Beth’s.
“You know,” Beth said, “no one’s claimed a Halloween party yet.”
“Isn’t Halloween kind of big?”
Jess was thinking more of a run-of-the-mill party that would be quickly forgotten should it go horribly wrong.
Ryan shrugged. “Not really. It’s just slightly sluttier.”
“Okay . . .” The worry was creeping back to a panic, but Jess wouldn’t let it. “Halloween it is.”
“It does give me enough time to think about a costume,” Lee said.
“You’re going to wear a costume?”
“I said think about it.”
Jess: SAT hype thread. You can do this! You can do this! Make sure to get lots of sleep. Eat breakfast. Don’t throw up breakfast. Wear comfortable clothes.
Lee: Is this for you or for us . . .
Ryan: Thanks, Mom.
Jess: For all of us! Including me.
Nora: Everything hurts, and I hate meringues.
Lee: What did those heavenly things ever do to you?
Nora: I think I’ve made several thousand of them over the course of the week. I hate them, and I want them to die.
Lee: Noooo! Give them to me. I’ll need the sugar tomorrow.
Nora: I dream about them. They’re in my dreams.
Ryan: Zombie meringues!
Nora: I don’t want to dream of meringues. I want to dream of Beth if anything.
Ryan: Oh I see. * wiggles eyebrows *
Nora: Exactly.
Jess: No sugar! You’
ll crash after.
Nora: You know I carry a layer of sugar no matter how hard I try, Jess. It’s part of me now. I am sugar.
Lee: So we should lick you if we feel like we need a boost?
Ryan: Well this conversation just got interesting. * puts down pencil *
Nora: I would need Beth’s approval, but pretty much.
Lee: Sweet.
Jess: Were you just sketching!?!
Ryan: Did you know that Roxane Gay did a movie review of Magic Mike XXL? It’s the best thing ever.
Lee: Is that on the test? I hope so.
Jess: WERE YOU JUST SKETCHING?
Ryan: It’s a great review though . . .
Jess: RYAN.
Ryan: Síííííí. Dios mío. Like, chill. I got inspired by all the Magic Mike XXL gifs in the review and also, I wanted to avoid studying. So . . . YES I’M SKETCHING.
Lee: I can feel Jess’s smile through the phone.
Jess: I AM smiling.
Ryan: Thanks, Mom.
Lee: Less effective the second time around.
Ryan: . . . thanks, Mom.
Lee: Rude.
Jess: I should be grilling you guys on vocabulary. Turn your test books to page 42.
Nora: Jessssss, I’m pretty sure we’ve learned all we are going to learn.
Ryan: It’s pretty late. I remember you saying something about getting a good night’s rest?
Jess: True! Everyone go to sleep.
Nora: Already in bed. Have been this entire time. Bed is life now.
Jess: SATs are life.
Lee: I refuse.
Ryan: Refuse what?
Lee: Everything.
Ryan: Sounds about right.
Nora: I can hear the meringues calling me now. Buenas noches.
Jess: OK, OK. Buenas noches. See you all tomorrow!
Lee: If you must.
Thank God It’s Summer
Jess
THE SATS WERE over. They’d celebrated by eating way too much fried food and watching the original Star Wars trilogy in Lee’s room, because she was the only one with a VHS player to watch the original theatrical version Lee insisted they celebrate with. Jess had fallen asleep somewhere between Empire and Return of the Jedi, and according to Ryan she mumbled vocabulary words in her sleep.
She thought she did well, but nowadays every thought came with a nagging postscript of “but are you sure?” It’s not like she’d never had doubts, but why were they suddenly harder to power through?
Jess was in her pj’s when the first pebble hit her window. She was up and opening the window when the second hit. The third hit her face.
“¿Qué carajo?” Jess rubbed at the spot on her forehead.
“Sorry!” Lee and Nora were huddled under her window. Lee had a few more pebbles in her hand. “Was already midthrow when you came out.”
They were both in long pj bottoms (Lee’s were little skulls, Nora’s pineapples) and hoodies.
“Um, hey?” Jess leaned out a bit. “What’s up?”
“Prison break!” Nora whisper-shouted, her eagerness making her bounce on her toes.
Prison break?
“What?” Jess leaned out a bit more in case she’d misheard.
“We are breaking you out!” Nora repeated.
“From my room?”
Lee tossed the last of the pebbles in the yard and patted Nora on the shoulder. “She’s not grounded, so it’s not really a prison break, Nora. We’re kidnapping you, so come down . . . but, like, sneakily so your parents don’t figure it out.”
“Where are we going?”
“Just come down!” Lee shouted back then mumbled: “This kidnapping shit is hard.”
It was almost midnight. What could they want? She slipped on her jacket and snagged her phone as she tiptoed downstairs.
David was on his phone, lounging on the couch with the TV on when she came down the stairs. He spotted her and his face scrunched up in confusion. “Hey . . . super-late-night run?”
“I’m being kidnapped, I think.” How ridiculous that sounded, but David simply nodded. He always seemed so laid-back about everything. Why was it so hard for her to be the same?
“Interesting,” he said, going back to the TV. “Have fun I guess. Say hello to Lee for me.”
Outside in the dark Ryan’s resurrected car waited on the curb. She ran up to it; even through the fogged-up windows she could see Nora and Lee in the back.
“What’s going on?”
“Get in!” Nora shouted like they were in a heist movie.
Why was no one telling her what was going on? “Where are we—”
Ryan leaned over, unlocking the side door. “Jess, just say yes and get in.”
So she did.
JESS’S HEART FELT like it would burst as she looked up at the stars above her. So many she could never count them. There was always something about them that could just brush everything else aside.
They laid out a giant blanket, settling in with milkshakes in one hand and a pile of french fries in front of them. Lee handed Jess a blanket in case the night got colder. “We figured that you might not be having a lot of fun with your resolution so far, and fun was the whole point. So we wanted to do something to show you that saying yes can be fun, and to start the summer off right.”
Lee settled in beside her, milkshake in hand.
“It was all Lee’s idea,” Nora said, sucking on her milkshake straw.
“Really?” Jess looked over to Lee, who simply shrugged, hiding the smile from her face by immediately shoving a french fry in her mouth. It was no secret that Lee cared, despite the way she hid behind well-timed snarks and quips. Knowing she’d put all this together for Jess reminded her of why she’d wanted to do the resolutions in the first place. Her friends deserved the best year ever. Together.
“This was good—thank you.”
Jess pointed out constellations as they sipped and munched, falling into a new conversation.
“I got a job,” Ryan said, “for the summer.”
“Really?” Jess had no idea Ryan was even looking—or had she not been paying attention? She brushed off the second of guilt and doubt.
“No big deal, it’s just helping out after my classes, keeping the studios clean, helping Candace when she needs it. It doesn’t pay anything.”
“That’s not a job, dude,” Lee said.
Ryan scarfed down several fries. “It’s more of a trade. Free classes for the work, that way I can keep taking the next session in the summer and maybe even in the fall if it goes well.”
“That’s really good,” Jess said with a small smile. Her heart danced with happiness—at least someone’s resolution was doing its job.
“Oh no.” Lee pointed to Jess. “Her ‘I’m proud of you’ smile is out. Look out!”
Jess threw a fry. “I am. I can’t help it.”
“Well, I’m happy I won’t be the only one working this summer.” Nora swished her strawberry milkshake. “Summer is full-blown La Islita time.”
“Don’t let it take over the whole summer,” Jess cautioned, but she knew Nora and her mother lived and breathed the shop during the summer.
“Has your dad gotten his hooks in you yet, Lee?”
“Pretty much,” Lee said with a sigh. “Internships build character after all, even though I’m pretty sure I’ll just be running documents up and down floors all day. Thankfully, I managed to get it down to three days a week, thanks to David.”
“David?”
“The lessons. My dad is really happy about them, so he wants to make sure I have all the time I need.” Lee smirked. “I may have fibbed about how many hours the lessons were.”
Ryan laughed, tossing a french fry at Lee then taking out his phone. “Lean in.”
They huddled for the photo, Lee sticking out her tongue at the last minute. As Jess watched Ryan post the photo, his fingers hovered over his phone before going to his messages.
“You still talking to Jason?”
&n
bsp; “Yes.” He tucked the phone away. “I know you don’t approve.”
“I don’t disapprove.”
“It just feels nice to talk to him again. It’s almost like we never broke up.”
“But you did.”
“I remember.” Ryan was silent. Jess worried she’d been too callous with her words. “Do you think . . . do you think if he saw the absolutely awesome self-assured painter I am, he’d be totally devastated he broke up with me?”
“Are you?” Jess said. “An absolutely awesome self-assured painter.”
Ryan groaned.
“Well, maybe not yet. I am better, though. Happier, I think. But it would be nice if that the happiness actually got me somewhere.”
“Happiness is a journey, not a destination,” Nora cut in.
“Shouldn’t you be eating hemp seeds while you say that?” Ryan teased. “You know that’s not a soy milkshake, right?”
“Soy shake.” Lee burst out laughing. “Oh my God, it sounds like ‘I am shake,’ right? Soy shake?”
Ryan pulled away Lee’s own milkshake even as he laughed. “That’s enough shake for you.”
AS THE AIR grew colder, Ryan and Jess huddled together and stared at the stars dotting the sky above the mountains.
“I’ll do the gallery show,” Ryan said.
“You will?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t seem happy about it.”
“I just . . .” He stared up, maybe finding the courage among the stars. “These people made it, you know? They probably never gave up.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Neither do you.”
“That’s true.” She stared up at the stars, the vastness comforting. Jess wanted to say something more, to let Ryan know he wasn’t alone. “You know, I’m scared too.” She felt Ryan shift and turn to watch her. How quickly she wanted to turn back. Not to say anything. Her body felt angry for even offering. “Of letting people down.”
“I don’t think you can let me down.”
She turned to him and smiled. Even now her mind started to list everything she needed to do the following day. How much time had she wasted eating french fries and drinking milkshakes? She shook that last thought away, refusing to let any negativity infect the night. She would make up the time somewhere.
Somehow.