Galdar tried to speak a couple of times without success, then he said awkwardly, “They sang your name, Mina.”
Her amber eyes shone, illuminated from within.
“You’re right,” she said, smiling. “They did sing my name.”
Galdar licked his lips. He looked about, as though seeking help. Finding none, he cleared his throat with a rumble and launched into a much-rehearsed speech, talking quickly, without inflection, in haste to reach the end.
“This elf is Valthonis. He used to be Paladine, the leader of the pantheon of gods, the instigator of the fall of Queen Takhisis. My god, Sargas, hopes that you will accept Valthonis as his gift and that you will take your just revenge upon the traitor who brought down… your… our Queen. In return, Sargas hopes you will think well of the him and… and… that you will…”
Galdar stopped. He stared at Mina, stricken.
“That I will what, Galdar?” Mina demanded. “Sargas hopes I will think well of him and I will what?”
“Become his ally,” Galdar said at last.
“You mean-become one of his generals?” Mina asked, frowning. “But I can’t. I am not a minotaur.”
Galdar couldn’t answer her question. He looked about again for help, and this time he found it.
Valthonis answered him. “Sargas want you to become the Queen of Darkness, Mina.”
Mina laughed, as though at some rich jest. Then she saw no one else was laughing. “Galdar, why do you look so glum? That’s funny. Me? The Queen of Darkness!”
Galdar rubbed his muzzle and blinked his eyes rapidly and gazed out somewhere over her head.
“Galdar!” said Mina, suddenly angry. “That is funny!”
“Is the minotaur right, Rhys?” Nightshade asked in a smothered whisper. “Is that elf really Paladine? I always wanted to meet Paladine. Do you think you could intro-”
“Hush, my friend,” said Rhys softly. He rose to his feet, moving fluidly, quietly, trying not to draw attention to himself. “Keep hold of Atta.”
Nightshade took a firm grip on the dog. Eyeing the Walking God, the kender whispered into Atta’s ear, “I expected him to be a lot taller-”
Rhys picked up the emmide and the scrip. He tied the scrip to the top of the staff, then padded across the stone floor, the dust slithering beneath his feet. He came to stand to one side and a little in front of Valthonis.
“This man knows the way to Godshome, Mina,” Rhys said.
Mina’s amber eyes, laden with trapped souls so that they were almost black, shifted to Rhys. Her lip curled in scorn. “Who are you? Where did you come from?”
Rhys smiled. “Those are the very questions you asked of me, Mina, when we first met. The riddle the dragon posed to you. ‘Where did you come from?’ You told me that I knew the answers. I did not know then, but I know now. And so do you, Mina. You know the truth. You have to accept it. You can no longer hide from it. Valthonis is your father, Mina. You are his child. You are a god. A god born of Light.”
Mina went livid. Her amber eyes widened, grew large.
“You lie,” she breathed. The words were soft, barely a whisper.
“Men sang your name, Mina. As did the Beloved. If you kill this man, commit this heinous crime, you will take your place among the Dark Pantheon,” Rhys told her. “The balance will shift. The world will slide into darkness and be consumed. That is what Sargonnas wants. Is that what you want, Mina? You have walked the world. You have met its people. You have seen the misery and destruction and upheaval that is war. Is that what you want?”
Mina’s form altered again and this time she was the Mina of the Beloved, the Mina who had given them the lethal kiss. Her auburn hair was long. She wore black and blood red. She was confident, commanding, and she regarded Valthonis with frowning intensity. Her expression hardened, her lips compressed.
“He killed my Queen!” Mina stated coldly.
She brushed past Galdar, who stared at her with gaping mouth and white-rimmed eyes, his frame trembling in fear. Mina walked over to Valthonis and gazed at him for a long moment, trying to draw him, another insect, into the amber.
He stood calmly under her scrutiny.
Does his mortal mind retain something of the mind of the god? Rhys wondered. Does some part of Valthonis remember that burst of joy at creation’s dawning that brought forth a child of joy and light? Does he remember the searing pain he must have felt upon realizing he had to sacrifice the child for the sake of that very creation?
Rhys did not know the answer. What he did know, what he could see on the elf’s ravaged face, was the grief of the parent who sees a loved child succumb to dark passions.
“Let me help you, Mina.” Valthonis held out his hands to Mina: his bound hands.
Mina stood over him. She held out her hand. “Galdar, give me your sword.”
Galdar looked uneasily at the fallen Valthonis. The minotaur’s hand went to his sword’s hilt. He did not draw the weapon.
“Mina, the monk is right,” Galdar said, anguished. “If you slay this man, you will become Takhisis. And that’s not who you are. You prayed for your men, Mina. Wounded and exhausted, you walked the battlefield and prayed for the souls of those who gave their lives for the cause. You care about people. Takhisis didn’t. She used them, just as she used you!”
“Give me your sword!” Mina repeated angrily.
Galdar shook his horned head. “And at the end, when Takhisis had been cast out of heaven, she blamed you, Mina. Not herself. Never herself. She was going to kill you in a spiteful, vindictive rage. That was Takhisis. Spiteful and vindictive, cruel and vicious and self-serving. Nothing mattered to her except her own aggrandizement, her own ambition. Her children hated her and worked against her. Her consort despised and distrusted her and rejoiced in her downfall. Is this what you want, Mina? Is this what you want to become?”
Mina stood regarding him scornfully. When Galdar paused for breath, she said with a sneer, “I don’t need a sermon. Just give me the damn sword, you stupid, one-armed cow!”
Galdar paled, the pallor visible even beneath his dark fur. A spasm of pain wrenched his body. He cast a glowering glance at heaven, then he drew his sword. He did not give it to Mina. Going to the unconscious Valthonis, the minotaur sliced the bonds that bound the elf’s wrists.
“I’ll have nothing to do with murder,” Galdar said with quiet dignity.
Slamming his sword into the sheath, he turned and started to walk away.
“Galdar! Come back!” Mina shouted furiously.
The minotaur kept walking.
“Galdar! I command you!” Mina cried.
Galdar did not look around. He wound his way among the black monoliths, remnants of dark ambition.
Mina glared at his retreating back, then suddenly sprang after him, running swiftly across the windswept floor. Rhys called out a warning. Galdar turned, just as Mina caught up with him. Ignoring him, she grasped the hilt of the sword and yanked it out of its sheath.
Galdar caught hold of her wrist and tried to wrench his sword from her hand. Mina lashed out in a blind rage, striking him with the hilt of the sword and with the flat of the blade.
Galdar tried to fend her off, but he had only one hand and Mina fought with the strength and fury of a god.
Rhys ran to the minotaur’s aid. Dropping his staff, he grabbed hold of Mina and tried to drag her off Galdar. The big minotaur collapsed, bloodied and groaning, onto the ground. Mina jerked free of Rhys. Shoving him backward, off-balance, she returned to the assault on Galdar, kicking him and hitting any part of him still moving. The minotaur quit groaning and now lay still.
“Mina-” Rhys began.
Mina snarled and slammed her fist deep into Rhys’ diaphragm, so deep the blow stopped his breathing. He tried to draw in air, but the muscles were in spasm and he could only gasp. Mina smashed him in the jaw with her fist, shattering his jawbone. His mouth flooded with blood. Mina stood over him, the minotaur’s heavy sword in her hand, and there
was nothing Rhys could do. He was choking on his own blood.
Nightshade tried his best to keep hold of Atta, but the sight of Rhys being attacked was more than the dog could bear. She wrenched free of the kender’s grasp. Nightshade made a grab for her and missed, went sprawling onto his belly. Atta launched herself into the air and smashed bodily into Mina, knocking her down, knocking the sword from her grasp.
Snarling, Atta went for Mina’s throat. She fought the dog, using her hands to try to fling her off. Blood and saliva flew.
Nightshade staggered to his feet. Rhys was spewing up blood. The minotaur was either dead or dying. Valthonis lay unconscious on the ground. The kender was the only man standing, and he didn’t know what to do. His brain was too flustered to think of a spell, and then he realized that no spell, even the most powerful spell cast by the most powerful mystic, could stop a god.
The cold, pale sun flashed off steel.
Mina had managed to grab hold of the sword. Raising it, she slashed at the dog.
Atta collapsed with a pain-filled yelp. Her white fur was stained with blood, but she still struggled to get up, still snapped and snarled. Mina raised the sword to stab her again, this time going for the kill.
Nightshade clasped hold of the little grasshopper pin and gave a galvanized leap. He sailed over one of the black monoliths, and smashed into Mina, knocking the sword from her grasp.
Nightshade landed hard on the ground. Mina recovered herself and both of them dove for the sword, each scrabbling to seize hold of it. Rhys spit out blood and half-crawled, half-flung himself into the fray.
But he was too late.
Mina seized hold of the kender’s topknot of hair and gave a sharp, twisting jerk. Rhys heard a horrible snapping and crunching sound. Nightshade went limp.
Mina let loose his hair and the kender slumped to the ground.
Rhys crawled to his friend’s side. Nightshade stared at him, unseeing. Tears filled Rhys’ eyes. He did not look for Mina. She was going to kill him, too, and he couldn’t stop her. Atta whimpered. The sword had laid open her shoulder to the bone. He gathered the suffering, dying dog close to him, then reached out a blood-stained hand to close Nightshade’s eyes.
A little girl with red braids squatted down beside the kender.
“You can get up now, Nightshade,” said Mina.
When he did not move, she shook him by the shoulder.
“Stop pretending to be asleep, Nightshade,” she scolded. “It’s time to leave. I have to go to Godshome, and you have the map.”
Mina’s voice quivered. “Wake up!” the child gulped. “Please, please wake up.”
The kender did not move.
Mina gave a heart-broken wail and flung herself on the body.
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!” she cried over and over in a paroxysm of grief.
“Mina…” Rhys mumbled her name through the blood and bone and broken teeth, and her name echoed back from the Lords of Doom.
“Mina, Mina…”
She stood up. The little girl gazed down sorrowfully at Nightshade, but it was the woman, Mina, who gently closed the staring eyes. The woman, Mina, walked over to Galdar. She laid a hand on him and whispered to him. The woman came back to Atta and petted her gently. Then Mina knelt down beside Rhys. Smiling sadly, she touched him on the forehead.
Amber, warm and golden, slid over him.
7
Mina, the woman, sat next to Valthonis on the hard, windswept stone. She was not wearing armor, nor the black robes of a priestess of Chemosh. She wore a simple gown that fell in folds about her body. Her auburn hair was gathered in soft curls at the back of her neck. She sat quietly, watching the Walking God, waiting for him to regain consciousness.
Valthonis finally sat up, looked about, and his expression grew grave. Rising swiftly, he went to tend to the wounded. Mina watched him dispassionately, her face impassive, unreadable.
“The kender is dead,” she said. “I killed him. The monk and the minotaur and the dog will live, I think.”
Valthonis knelt beside the kender and, gently arranging the broken body into a more seemly form, he spoke a quiet blessing.
“Shake off the dust of the road, little friend. Your boots have star-dust on them now.”
Removing his green cloak, he laid it reverently over the small corpse.
Valthonis bent over Atta, who feebly wagged her tail and gave his hand a swipe with her tongue. He brushed back the black fur that was covered with blood, but he could not find a wound. He stroked her head and then went to see to her master.
“I think I know the monk,” Mina said. “I’ve met him before. I was trying to recall where, and now I remember. It was in a boat… No, not a boat. A tavern that had once been a boat. He was there and I came in and he looked at me and he knew me… He knew who I was…” She frowned slightly. “Except he didn’t…”
Valthonis raised his head and looked into her amber eyes. He saw no longer the countless souls, trapped bug-like within. He saw in her clear eyes terrible knowledge. And he saw himself, reflected off the shining surface.
“The monk was sitting next to a man… He was a dead man. I don’t know his name.” Mina paused, then said with a catch in her voice, “So many of them… and I didn’t know any of their names. But I know the monk’s name. He is Brother Rhys. And he knows my name. He knows me. He knows who and what I am. And yet, he walked with me anyway. He guided me.” She smiled sadly. “He yelled at me…”
Valthonis rested his hand on Rhys’ neck, felt the lifebeat. The monk’s face was bloody, but Valthonis could not find any injuries. He said nothing in response to Mina. He had the instinctive feeling she did not want him to speak. She wanted, needed, to hear only herself in the deathlike silence of the valley of Neraka.
“The kender knew me, too. When he first saw me, he began to weep. He wept for me. He wept out of pity for me. He said ‘You are so sad’… And the minotaur, Galdar, was my friend. A good and faithful friend…”
Mina shifted her gaze from the minotaur to the barren, ghastly surroundings. “I hate this place. I know where I am. I am in Neraka, and awful things have happened because of me… And more awful things will happen… because of me…”
She shifted her gaze to Valthonis, looked at him, pleading.
“You know what I mean. Your name means ‘the Exile’ in elven. And you are my father. And both of us-mortal father, wretched daughter-are exiles. Except you can never go back.” Mina sighed, long and deep. “And I must.”
Valthonis walked to over the minotaur. He placed his hand on the strong, bull-like neck.
“I am a god,” Mina said. “I live in all times simultaneously. Though,” she added, a frown line again marring her smooth forehead, “there is a time before time I do not remember, and a time yet to come I cannot see…”
The wind whistled among the rocks, as through rotting teeth, but Valthonis did not hear anything except Mina. It was as if the physical world had dropped out from beneath him, leaving him suspended in the ethers and there was only her voice and the amber eyes that, as he watched, filled with tears.
“I have done evil, Father,” Mina said, as the tears spilled over and slid slowly down her cheeks. “Or rather, I do evil, for I live in all times at once. They say I am a god born of light and yet I bring forth darkness. Thousands of innocents die because of me. I slaughter those who trust me. I take away life and give back living death. Some say I am duped by Takhisis, and that I do not know I am doing wrong.”
Mina smiled through her tears, and her smile was strange and cold. “But I know what I am doing. I want to hear them sing my name, Father. I want them to worship me-Mina! Not Takhisis. Not Chemosh. Mina. Only Mina.”
She made no move to wipe away the tears. “The two who were mothers to me both died in my arms. When Goldmoon was dying, she looked at me from the twilight, and she saw the truth, the ugliness inside me. And she turned from me.”
Mina rose to her feet and ran over to the minota
ur. She crouched beside him but did not touch him. She rose and walked over to where the kender’s body lay beneath the green cloak. Reaching down, she carefully replaced a corner the wind had blown askew. Her empty amber eyes shimmered.
“I can fix him,” she said. She stood up and flung her arms wide, encompassing the wounded and the dead, encompassing the blasted temple, the accursed valley. “I am a god! I can make all this as if it never happened!”
“You can,” said Valthonis. “But to do that you would have to go back to the first second of the first minute of the first day and start time again.”
“I don’t understand!” Mina cried, perplexed. “You speak in riddles.”
“All of us would start over if we could, Mina. All of us would wipe out past mistakes. For mortals this is impossible. We accept, we learn, we go on. For a god, it is possible. But it means wiping out creation and beginning again.”
Mina looked rebellious, as though she didn’t believe him, and Valthonis feared for one frightening moment that she was in such pain she might actually try to ease her own suffering by plunging herself and the world into oblivion.
Mina sank to her knees and lifted her face to heaven.
“You gods! You pull at me and tug me in all directions!” she shouted. “You each want me for you own ends. Not one of you cares what I want.”
“What do you want, Mina?” Valthonis asked.
She looked about, as though wondering herself. Her gaze went to the kender, lying broken and lifeless beneath the green cloak. Her gaze went to the unconscious Galdar, loyal friend. Her gaze went to Rhys, who had comforted her when she woke crying the night.
“I want to go back to sleep,” she whispered.
Valthonis’ heart ached. His own tears blurred his vision, choked off his voice.
“But I can’t.” Mina said brokenly. “I know. I have tried. They call my name and wake me…”
She gave a sudden, anguished cry. The tears flooded her amber eyes, so that the Walking God’s reflection seemed to be drowning.
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