by Mike Ryan
“He’s dying, Heather.”
Heather’s jaw dropped, and she froze, struggling to consume the information. She slowly sat back down, staring at Lawson, waiting for her to say more.
“What did you say?” Heather asked, hoping she heard incorrectly.
“Matt’s seizures have gotten worse.”
“How bad?”
“They’ve gone from one every couple of months to four or five a week,” Lawson revealed. “And some of them are lasting eight to ten hours at a time. And that’s just what I know. He hasn’t even talked to me in weeks so who knows how much worse they’ve gotten.”
“Oh my God. So what’s being done?”
“Right now, nothing.”
“What? Why not?”
“It’s complicated,” Lawson smirked.
“So what can I do?” Heather sighed, obviously still in love with Cain, though she didn’t really want to get involved since he was with someone else.
“He needs surgery to remove a blockage inside his brain. If he doesn’t get it, the doctors think he’ll eventually just have a seizure that he won’t wake up from.”
“And he’s fighting having the surgery?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he feels he has nothing else to live for,” Lawson said.
“He’s got a new life now with his wife again. I don’t understand why he’d feel that way.”
“First, you need to know the truth about everything. Matt won’t like me for telling you this but I think you need to know.”
Heather’s eyes were focused directly on her friend and didn’t notice a single other person in the restaurant at that moment.
“Matt never went back to his wife,” Lawson blurted out.
“What?” Heather asked, raising her eyebrows in disbelief.
“It’s what he let you believe because it was easier that way.”
“Easier in what way?”
“Easier for you to distance yourself from him.”
“Why would he do that?” Heather wondered.
“Well I can’t say I know all the reasons, but I do know maybe the most important.”
“Which is?”
“He believes that everyone close to him or helps him is eventually hurt or killed. And he mostly blames himself for that.”
“I never have.”
“I know. He knew he could never go back to his wife and spin her world upside down again. But he didn’t want to put you in danger anymore either. If you were with him you’d never be truly safe. He believed that by sending you away he was protecting you, saving you.”
“I can’t believe this,” Heather stated.
“Truth is, he hasn’t worked a day for us since the two of you split up. He also only leaves his apartment a couple hours a day, three days a week. He’s letting himself go.”
Lawson could see that Heather was having a hard time processing everything she was throwing at her. It was a lot to take in so suddenly.
“Are you OK?” Lawson asked.
“Uhh, no, no I’m not OK.”
“Do you still love him?”
Heather closed her eyes as they started to tear up. “Of course I still love him. I’ve never stopped loving him.”
“Then you’ll help me get through to him?”
“I don’t know what I can do. Yes, I still love him, but I can’t make him listen to me or want to be with me.”
“Yes you can. Be passionate. Say what you’re thinking. Say what you’re feeling. Say what’s in your heart. Don’t hold anything back. I can arrange for you two to bump into each other. If you truly love him, you’ll find a way.”
Heather sighed and looked down at the table.
“You’re not seeing anyone else right now, are you?” Lawson wondered.
“No. Of course not.”
“So you’ll do it?”
“Of course I’ll do it. I’m just not sure he’ll listen,” Heather replied.
“He’ll listen,” Lawson nodded, grabbing her friend’s hand. “He’ll listen. We’ve gotta have faith.”
They talked for a few more minutes and then ate breakfast, continuing to discuss Cain and his condition. After their discussion, Lawson felt much better about Cain’s future. She thought they actually had a chance to finally get through to him with Heather in the loop. As soon as they finished breakfast, Lawson called Conlin to keep him updated.
“So how’d it go?” Conlin asked.
“It went well. She wants to help.”
“Fantastic. What’s your next step?”
“They’re going to accidentally bump into each other on the next time he steps out of his apartment,” she explained.
“Sounds like you have things under control.”
“Let’s hope so. Getting Heather in was the easy part. Convincing him, well, that’s the part that’ll be hard.”
Though Lawson knew she’d have Heather’s help in trying to convince Cain to get the surgery, she still wanted her to talk to the doctor first. That way she knew exactly what was involved without hearing second hand information. Plus the more information she had to work with the better her chances would be at getting through to Cain. Lawson arranged a meeting with Dr. Ellison at a nearby outdoor restaurant near The Center. The doctor was already sitting and waiting as the two women sat down across from him.
“Thank you for meeting us,” Lawson stated.
“No problem. What can I do for you?”
“Well, this is Heather, Matthew Cain’s uhh…better half,” Lawson stumbled, getting a look from Heather.
“Nice to meet you,” Ellison said, getting a smile in return.
“The reason for the meeting was so we could discuss Cain’s health,” Lawson said.
“You know I can’t discuss a patient’s health with anyone else.”
“Doctor, the only one…the only one who can help convince Cain to get this surgery is Heather. He won’t listen to anyone else. Not you, not me, not anyone. If you’re top priority is really saving him, then the only way to do that is to get her help. And she needs to know what we’re dealing with. I know you have your ethics, which is really encouraging considering most in our line of work do not, please just put them to the side this one time,” she pleaded.
Ellison sighed as he digested her words and looked over at Heather, who had a hopeful, but worried look on her face.
“OK. You win,” he said, putting his hands up in the air. “How much do you know?”
“Just that his seizures are worsening and that he could eventually die from them,” Heather replied.
“First, there are several things to consider. He’s having prolonged seizures, which is very disconcerting. A seizure should last no more than a minute or two. His are lasting for hours. About 50,000 people die of prolonged seizures every year. A good majority of them occurring within thirty days of their prolonged seizure.”
“So we probably don’t have much time,” Heather bleakly stated.
“He needs to get into that operating room as soon as he agrees to the operation.”
“What exactly would be done?”
“I’ll try to say as much of this in English and not doctor speak. What we’d do is remove the brain tissue that contains the seizure focus without damaging the other areas of the brain.”
“How complicated of a surgery is it?” she wondered.
“Well I would never say any surgery involving the brain is easy. But it’s a surgery I’ve done before, and done successfully.”
“What’s the recovery process like?”
“Usually two to four days in the hospital. After that, he should be able to resume his normal activities in six to eight weeks. Though after meeting him, and with what I’ve heard of him, I’m sure it would be the lesser of that.”
“And that’s it?”
“Well, he’ll need to continue taking anti-seizure medication for another two years or so, which can be reduced as his condition stabilizes. The surgery is
successful in eliminating seizures in close to ninety percent of the patients,” Ellison informed him.
“Well that’s very encouraging.”
“With all that being said there are some risks and complications involved.”
“Which are?” Heather asked.
“The complications can be numbness, nausea, headaches, feeling tired, depressed…though they generally go away after a while. The risks…the surgery doesn’t work…infection, bleeding, pain, changes to his personality.”
“How likely is any of that?”
“It is likely he will have some of the complications. That’s perfectly normal. The risks are small, but they are there. Though in his condition as it is now, the risks are much greater if he does not have the surgery,” Ellison told her.
Chapter 2
As soon as Lawson and Heather were done with Dr. Ellison, they continued talking about Cain as they walked along the sidewalk.
“I figure we’ll wait a few more days and I’ll arrange for you to bump into him. We’ve had him under surveillance for a while now so we know his every move,” Lawson said.
“We don’t have a few more days to wait. You heard the doctor. What if he has a seizure tomorrow that doesn’t go away?”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’ll just go to his apartment now and talk to him,” Heather said.
“No. We can’t just go barging over there. You know how stubborn he is. If we just go over there now and start blasting away at him we’ll lose him. You know he’ll withdrawal.”
“No he won’t. Not with me.”
“What makes you so sure?” Lawson asked.
“Just trust me. I’ll go over there by myself and talk to him.”
“I don’t know. I think we need to be more calculated than that.”
“Shelly, trust me. I know him. Let me go over there and talk to him. He won’t ignore me. He’ll talk. He’ll let me in,” Heather said.
Lawson stopped and sighed as she pondered the best solution.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” Heather told her. “He will talk to me. I’ll get him to listen.”
Lawson nodded her head in agreement. She wasn’t sure it was the best course of action but she reluctantly agreed anyway. “Just let me know what he says if you do talk to him.”
“I will,” Heather replied as she headed for Cain’s apartment.
Heather wasn’t exactly sure what she was going say to convince Cain that surgery was the best option. She figured she’d just say whatever was in her heart. She hoped he still had enough feelings for her that he’d listen. Once she finally got to his apartment, the nerves started shuffling around in her stomach. She walked up the stairs, hoping to burn off the extra excitement she was feeling. As Heather reached Cain’s door, she put her hand up to knock but suddenly stopped before hitting the door. She took a few more seconds to collect her thoughts. She took a gulp and sighed before finally knocking three times. She didn’t hear any movement inside the apartment. Lawson assured her that Cain was in there. Heather knocked three more times, a little harder than the first time. She thought she heard someone moving this time.
Cain had quickly gotten a gun out of a drawer and quietly moved toward the door. He stood to the side of it as he readied himself for a battle.
“Matt, it’s me,” Heather yelled.
Cain raised his eyebrows, surprised that Heather was there. Without standing in the middle of the door, he looked through the peephole and saw that she was alone. He cleared his throat as he wondered what to do.
“Matt. I know you’re in there. Please let me in,” Heather yelled again.
Cain sighed and put the gun inside the belt of the back of his pants. He wasn’t sure talking to her was the best idea. But seeing her there brought back some pleasant memories and actually made him feel good for a second. After a few seconds, he closed his eyes and unlocked the door. He opened his eyes as he pulled the door open. Cain gulped as he stared at Heather, still looking as beautiful as always.
“Hi,” she said, smiling.
“Hey.”
“Mind if I come in?” Heather hopefully asked.
“Uhh, yeah, sure.”
“Thanks.”
Heather looked around and was a little surprised at how messy the place was. There were clothes on the floor; the kitchen table was a mess, dishes piled up in the sink, magazines and newspapers on the furniture. It looked like the place hadn’t been cleaned in months. But after seeing how Cain had let himself go, she figured that was probably a pretty good assessment.
“I’d ask you to sit down but…”, Cain said, looking around at the mess. “I’ve been on missions left and right and haven’t really had a chance to clean lately.”
“It’s OK. I really didn’t come to critique your cleaning skills.”
“So why are you here?”
“I just wanted a chance to talk about some things,” she told him.
“Like?”
“Like us. Matt, I know about everything. You don’t have to lie to me anymore.”
Cain’s mouth fell open a little bit, stunned. “What do you mean, everything?”
“Shelly told me that you never went back to your wife, and that you haven’t been on a mission since we broke up, and about your seizures,” Heather revealed.
“Shelly talks too much. I’m surprised she sent you over to do her dirty work. I thought she was above that.”
“She cares about you. And you’re lucky that she does.”
Cain went over to a chair and moved some newspapers off of it and tossed them on the coffee table.
“So what exactly do you want?” Cain asked.
Heather rushed over to him and knelt down on her knees in front of him, grabbing his hands. She figured this was the moment to hold nothing back, no long drawn out conversations, just passionately express what was on her mind.
“I want answers from you. I want the truth,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I want you to tell me exactly what’s going on and not lie to me. All these months I’ve felt one thing and then one day I’m told something else and it wasn’t even from you. I think I deserve to know the truth. I think I deserve that much.”
Cain wiped his eyes also. He was never comfortable being around her when she was upset. It always made him vulnerable. He licked his lips, knowing that she was right and deserved to know the truth.
“You’re right. Shelly was right. I never went back to my wife,” he told her.
“Why not?” she asked, tears now freely flowing.
“Because with my son dead I didn’t think she needed me back in her life. She remarried and moved on. Me coming back into it would probably only make things worse. Besides, I‘ve no memory of her or us. What kind of life would we have had?”
“So why move on from me?”
“Because I thought it was better for you to be as far away from me as possible. You’ve almost been killed multiple times because of me. I can’t keep putting you in more danger. I can’t,” Cain sorrowfully said.
“Don’t you think that should’ve been my call?”
“You wouldn’t have left.”
“Of course I wouldn’t. I loved you,” she replied, still sobbing.
“Plus, with you knowing about my past, I thought maybe it’d make you uncomfortable if we stayed together.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because I wouldn’t want you to think that even though we were together I was wishing to be back there or have my old life back. I didn’t think it’d be fair to you,” Cain answered.
“Would you please stop making decisions for me and let me decide what I’ll think and feel? Let me decide what’s best for me.”
Cain stopped looking into her now red eyes and looked toward the floor, unable to continue watching her cry. Heather wasn’t gonna let him off the hook though. She gently grabbed his chin and pushed his head up to look at her as she dabbed her eyes.
“So why are you living like this? W
hy are you not working? Why are you not getting the surgery?”
Cain cleared his throat as he thought of what to tell her. “Because working no longer had any meaning for me. I was only working to find out what happened to me. Once I found out, I lost any edge that I had.”
“And the surgery?” Heather asked.
“I just didn’t feel there was a need to keep on going,” he softly said.
“That’s not like you,” she said, shaking her head. “You’ve always been a fighter. You’ve never been one to just give up.”
“Everyone has their limits.”
“Can you please get the surgery?”
“Heather…”
“Please? If you won’t do it for yourself will you do it for me?” she asked.
“I’ve already made my decision.”
“Matt, please, don’t do this. How many times do I have to lose you until you realize how much you mean to me?”
“Please don’t try to guilt me into this,” Cain told her.
“I’m not trying to guilt you into anything. I want you to do this for yourself. And for me.”
“Heather, I really don’t wanna talk about this right now.”