Any Way You Want It

by Maureen Smith

  Everyone followed the direction of his gaze.

  Zandra did a double take when she saw the rotund man lumbering toward them, munching on a giant turkey leg. His rumpled gray T-shirt was ringed with sweat, and he’d spilled some food down the front. He looked nothing like the cute, popular jock she’d once tutored and gone to the prom with.

  “There you are,” he groused to Tawny. “I thought you were gonna find a spot closer to the stage.”

  Tawny glanced at Remy and Roderick, then at her husband, and Zandra knew by her embarrassed flush that Kevin had been found woefully lacking.

  “Look at you,” she sniped at him. “You look a hot mess.”

  “Gee, thanks, baby. Love you, too.” Kevin rolled his eyes, then grinned at Remy and Roderick. “Wassup, fellas. Been a long time. I—” He broke off, his jaw going slack as he stared at Zandra.

  “Close your mouth,” Tawny hissed in disgust. “Nobody wants to see your food.”

  Kevin did, slowly looking Zandra over with frank male appreciation. As his eyes lingered on her bare legs revealed by her cutoff shorts, he licked his greasy lips. “Damn. You look good, Zandra.”

  Her smile was cool. “Hello, Kevin. Nice to see you again.”

  “You have no idea.” He looked from Zandra to Remy, then shook his head and snorted out the disbelieving laugh of someone who just realized he’d been duped. “That talk on prom night. It all makes sense now.”

  Remy smiled narrowly.

  Zandra threw him a curious glance and mouthed, What talk?

  He ignored her.

  “Well, it was nice running into all of you again,” Tawny said with a strained smile that suggested otherwise, “but we need to get home to our kids.”

  Kevin looked disappointed. “I thought we could all hang out together and catch up.”

  “I don’t think so.” Gripping his fleshy arm until he winced, Tawny nodded tightly to Zandra, Remy, Roderick and Lena. “Enjoy the rest of the concert.”

  As the bickering couple moved off, Lena raised amused brows at Zandra. “Well. That was interesting.”

  “Very.” Zandra narrowed her eyes at Remy. “Did you say something to Kevin on my prom night?”

  When he just looked at her, she shot a glance at Roderick. “Did he?”

  Roderick laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

  “Oh, my God,” Zandra shrieked staring accusingly at Remy. “No wonder Kevin looked so nervous when I came downstairs that night. I kept asking him what was wrong, but he wouldn’t tell me. And after the prom, he couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. All this time, I just thought he was bored with me, and I knew Tawny had promised to sleep with him if he went over to her house. But I never once suspected that you...you had threatened him!” Sputtering with indignation, she punched Remy on the arm. “You jerk!”

  He laughed. “Come on, Z. Don’t be mad. I was just looking out for you. Kevin had a reputation at school. I didn’t want him taking advantage of you.”

  “So what! You had no right to interfere!”

  “Did, too.”

  “Did not.”

  Remy heaved a sigh. “Come on, baby girl.”

  Not wanting to cause a scene, Zandra didn’t resist as he pulled her back against his chest, curved an arm around her waist and leaned down to nuzzle the side of her neck. “Tell the truth. You didn’t even like that meathead. The only reason you went to the prom with him was to piss Tawny off.”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “See, look at you,” Remy chuckled. “You didn’t even bother to deny it.”

  Zandra sighed, lips quirking as she fought the tug of a grin. “I didn’t exactly have boys beating a path to my door to take me to the prom.”

  “Which goes to show how stupid those boys were.” Remy kissed her cheek. “I’d have taken you.”

  She went still. “You would have?”

  “Yeah. But you never asked.”

  “It didn’t occur to me.” She hesitated, then shyly admitted, “You were a college sophomore. You barely wanted to go to your own prom, so I didn’t think you’d want to go to mine.”

  “You thought wrong.”

  Zandra smiled, a warm glow spreading through her.

  “Look what I saved you from,” Remy murmured, his tongue tracing the shell of her ear.

  She shivered. “What?”

  “If you’d lost your virginity to Kevin that night, for the rest of your life, you’d have had to live with knowing that your first was that sloppy motherfucker whose wife is so miserable with him, she has to resort to lying about him playing for the Browns, of all teams.”

  Zandra fought not to laugh, but it escaped anyway. She’d never been one to bask in the misfortunes of others, but seeing Tawny and Kevin today made her grateful that she had been ditched on prom night.

  As the band returned to the stage, Zandra settled more comfortably against Remy’s chest. When he leaned over her, she raised her face to his. They shared a slow, steamy upside-down kiss that had her insides clenching with pleasure.

  When Roderick and Lena whistled encouragingly, Remy and Zandra pulled apart and smiled softly at each other.

  After the concert, they left the park and headed to Royce and Bernadette Brand’s home in Hyde Park, where the rest of the family had gathered for a summer cookout. Holding hands, the two couples made their way through the beautifully furnished house to reach the French doors leading out to the lushly landscaped backyard.

  The scene that greeted them sent a wave of nostalgia through Zandra.

  Remy’s parents and grandparents lounged companionably on the wraparound brick patio, sipping lemonade and laughing quietly. Flame and smoke billowed from the grill, where Royce flipped thick steaks and burgers while joking raucously with River and Racquel. Dozing on the ground near the outdoor fireplace was the family’s presciently named cocker spaniel, Zeus, who’d long surpassed his breed’s life expectancy.

  Robyn and her husband, Harper, chased their four young children around the sprawling yard, while Royce’s handsome sons tossed a football back and forth.

  Observing the idyllic scene filled Zandra with a poignant sense of homecoming.

  The Brands’ summer barbecues had been one of the few highlights of her childhood. She’d looked forward to them the way most kids looked forward to Christmas. They were always held on a Saturday afternoon, the day after Royce Senior received his bonus from the steel mill where he worked. Though money had been tight, he’d always set aside funds to buy plenty of meat for grilling.

  On the day of the cookouts, Zandra would rush through her chores, then race down the street to Remy’s house. The outside may have appeared as old and rickety as her own, but unlike her home, the Brand residence was filled with love, laughter and warmth. It had truly been a home.

  Sometimes Zandra’s mother had accompanied her to the cookouts. Her father rarely came, and for that she’d been grateful. His surly presence would have ruined her enjoyment of the festivities, and he’d always seemed intimidated by Royce and Desmond Brand, a sense of inadequacy he would later take out on Zandra’s mother.

  Whenever she’d gone on vacation with the Brands, she’d liked to pretend that she was a member of their family, that Remy and his siblings were her brothers and sisters. And as much as she’d loved and adored her mother, she’d often wished—secretly—that Royce and Bernadette were her parents. She knew Royce would never lay a hand on his wife or children, would never cause them to dread the very sound of his voice.

  The Brands had always been there for Zandra, cheering her on at every important event, giving her the strength and courage to believe that she could transcend the horrors of her home life. If Racquel’s high school graduation hadn’t coincided with Zandra’s college commencement ceremony, the Brands would have found a way to make it to England to show their support.

  Zandra’s mother and grandmother were gone, but they hadn’t left her without a family.


  The Brands were her family. Always had been. Always would be.

  When she appeared on the patio, they greeted her with such affectionate enthusiasm, she almost forgot that they’d recently vacationed together in the Caribbean. After she kissed Remy’s parents and grandparents, she sauntered over to the grill and laughed as Royce caught her, lifted her off the ground and swung her around before setting her back on her feet.

  “Hey, baby girl.” He playfully tweaked her nose. “You’re just in time to be served the first burger, hot off the grill.”

  “Oh, no,” Zandra protested, patting her stomach. “After the way I stuffed myself at the Taste, I couldn’t possibly eat another thing.”

  Royce guffawed. “When has Za-Za ever turned down food?”

  She grinned sheepishly as everyone laughed. Her huge appetite had been a running joke in the family for as long as she could remember. She loved to eat, and even now she couldn’t deny that her mouth was watering at the aroma of steaks, burgers and hot dogs sizzling on the grill.

  Royce grabbed a paper plate. “Let me hook you up with a burger.”

  She surrendered with a sigh. “Okay. If you insist.” She paused. “While you’re at it, add two of those beef kabobs.”

  Royce laughed uproariously. “That’s my girl.”

  Edging closer, River hummed appreciatively. “I don’t know where you’re putting all that food, Za,” he drawled, slowly looking her over, “but it sure ends up in all the right places.”

  Remy scowled and slapped the back of his brother’s head, drawing another round of laughter from everyone.

  Gathered on the large brick patio, they spent the rest of the afternoon feasting on Royce’s mouthwatering barbecue, grilled corn on the cob, and Robyn’s scrumptious pasta and potato salads. They teased one another, howled with laughter and chattered animatedly, several conversations often running at once. When Zeus roused himself from his nap and sidled up to the table, Mackenzie snuck scraps of food into his mouth, and was gently scolded by her mother.

  “Aw, leave the child alone, Robyn,” Royce Senior interjected. “You and your siblings used to feed Zeus human food all the time, and it certainly never hurt him. Heck, that ol’ hound might outlive us all.”

  Everyone laughed in agreement.

  Throughout the boisterous meal, even when Zandra wasn’t looking at Remy, she knew that he watched her. She felt the naked heat of his gaze as palpably as she felt the sun on her skin, and it made her shiver every time.

  She didn’t appreciate the way he’d manipulated her into accompanying him to London. But she hadn’t wanted to call his bluff by daring him to take Noelani instead. She knew he would have gone through with it, if for no other reason than to torment her. And she definitely would have been tormented as she imagined him wining and dining Noelani and making love to her with the same passion and intensity he’d unleashed upon Zandra.

  But she knew jealousy hadn’t been the only motivating factor in her decision to go away with Remy. The truth was that she wanted to be with him. Wanted it more than she should have.

  She didn’t know where their relationship was headed. She’d been telling herself that they were just two old friends enjoying a casual summer fling, one that allowed them to satisfy each other’s sexual needs without expecting or demanding more.

  But as she held Remy’s gaze across the table, she knew that their summer fling was becoming so much more than that.

  And it terrified her like nothing ever had before.

  Because this was Remy, the man who knew her better than any other man she’d ever known. If anyone could hurt her, if anyone could deal a mortal blow to her fractured soul, it was Remy.

  As day drifted into evening, Zandra found herself curled up on the cushioned wicker sofa between Bernadette and Grandma Eleanor.

  After dinner, Racquel had left to meet a date for drinks, while Robyn had escorted her brood inside the house to watch a movie. Lena had followed, yawning hugely as she rubbed her full belly and joked about needing a nap. At the other end of the patio, Royce Senior and Papa Desmond were huddled intently over a chessboard, oblivious to the rowdy shouts and laughter coming from the yard where the rest of the men were playing football.

  Zandra watched as Royce’s son, Parker, hiked the ball to Remy, who dropped back, scanned the yard for his receiver and lobbed a deep spiral that River caught for a touchdown. Remy laughed and pumped his fist as River swaggered over, and the two brothers celebrated with macho chest bumps and high fives. Then Remy walked over to their other nephew, Rocco, the defender who’d gotten burned. He consoled the sulking boy, affectionately rubbing the back of his head until Rocco relented with a surly grin.

  The scene had Zandra’s lips curving with amused pleasure.

  Bernadette sighed contentedly. “It’s wonderful to see Remy looking so happy and relaxed again.”

  “Umm-hmm,” Grandma Eleanor agreed. “Does my heart good.”

  Bernadette affectionately patted Zandra’s arm. “And we have this young lady right here to thank.”

  Eleanor beamed. “We sure do.”

  Zandra’s face heated. “But I, um, haven’t done anything.”

  The two women shared a knowing chuckle. “Sure you haven’t.”

  Zandra blushed harder, suddenly wishing she’d gone inside with Robyn and Lena when she had the chance.

  Bernadette continued warmly, “Ever since we came back from St. Lucia, Remy’s been like a new man. I’m not going to pry,” she glided on when Zandra opened her mouth. “You and Remy are grown, so it’s none of my business what goes on behind your closed doors. But whatever happened must have been good, because he hasn’t stopped smiling since.”

  Just when Zandra thought her face couldn’t get any hotter, Eleanor waggled a warning finger at her. “Just make sure I get my wedding before you start popping out pretty babies.”

  Zandra groaned and covered her face with her hands as the two women dissolved into laughter.

  “No one’s popping out any babies, Grandma,” she mumbled.

  “I don’t know,” Eleanor intoned slyly. “Roderick told me you two looked mighty cozy at the festival. Like bona fide lovebirds.”

  Zandra uncovered her face to glower across the yard at Roderick, who was grinning and pointing at Remy as they lined up opposite each other at the line of scrimmage.

  Bernadette laughed, squeezing her hand. “Don’t be mad at Roderick. He’s just glad to see his twin acting like his old self again.”

  Eleanor nodded. “We all are.”

  Zandra couldn’t help smiling as she watched the two brothers taunting and roughly shoving at each other, sweat glistening on their faces and muscled biceps.

  “We all remember how Remy was after he got discharged,” Bernadette reflected with a mother’s quiet pain. “Came home like a wounded bear. Hurt my heart to see him like that.”

  Eleanor sighed. “Me, too. He was so lost and depressed. And he wouldn’t talk to anyone, barely even Roderick.”

  “He shut me out, too,” Zandra murmured, still feeling the sting of Remy’s rejection three years later. She’d wanted to be there for him the way he’d been there for her after her mother’s death. But he’d rarely returned her phone calls or emails, and if she ventured to his apartment to see how he was doing, he’d come to the door wearing a fearsome scowl and several days’ worth of dark stubble on his jaw. He was brusque with her. A cold, distant stranger she hadn’t recognized. Unable to get through to him, and afraid to push him too far, she’d eventually backed off to give him space to work through his demons, because that was something she knew all about.

  “He was devastated,” Bernadette said gently, as if to console Zandra. “You remember how much he’d always wanted to be a SEAL.”

  “I remember.” Zandra smiled quietly at the memory of walking home from school one day with Remy and Roderick.

  “I’m gonna be a Navy SEAL when I grow up,” Remy boasted.

  She wrinkled her nose, puzzled. �
��What’s a seal?”

  “The baddest soldiers in the world!”

  Eleanor remarked softly, “Starting his own company definitely helped pull him through.”

  “It did,” Zandra agreed.

  When Remy landed his first client, he’d showed up at her office bearing two dozen pink roses—her favorite color—and the sweetest smile she’d ever seen. He’d humbly apologized for his boorish behavior and told her that he missed her friendship.

  She’d melted, of course. But he’d always known how to melt her.

  Bernadette smiled at Zandra, as if she’d intercepted her thoughts. “Not even running his own company has made him as happy as we’ve seen him these past few weeks.”

  “Umm-hmm,” Eleanor agreed. “That’s true.”

  Zandra didn’t want to get their hopes up any higher than they already were. So she smiled and offered diplomatically, “Remy and I are enjoying a new...chapter of our friendship. Operative word being friendship.”

  As if he’d picked up on her comment, Remy suddenly glanced toward the patio.

  When their eyes met, the possessive heat of his gaze sent shivers racing down her spine.

  After a breathless moment, he winked at her before jogging off to huddle with his teammates.

  Zandra pretended not to notice the knowing, conspiratorial smiles that passed between Bernadette and Grandma Eleanor.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You’re not going to believe what I just did.”

  “Uh-oh,” Zandra intoned, cell phone pressed to her ear as she sat on the table in one of her gynecologist’s examination rooms. She was waiting for Dr. Gill, who had just begun Zandra’s exam when she was paged and had to step out to take the call. Shortly afterward, Zandra’s cell had rung.

  “What did you do, Skylar?”

  Her friend sighed. “Well, I stopped by your office this afternoon to take you out to lunch, but I forgot that you had a gyno appointment today. So just as I was about to leave, the door opened and in walked this god. Piercing blue eyes, black hair, granite jaw. Stop-your-heart, drop-your-panties gorgeous.”

  Zandra’s eyes narrowed. “Was he a client?”